Rebecca
Push, shove.
He threw me down in my bedroom after tearing off my clothes. I knew I had him when he placed the riding crop on the bed and stripped out of his shirt without breaking eye contact with me.
“There is a bench in the corner of the room with buckles at the base, go and lay over it, on your stomach.”
I crawled my way to the piece. The buckles were large and round, for my wrists and knees I assumed. He proved me correct when he tied me down. Then his hands deftly braided my hair and pushed it over one shoulder. He then went back to the bed and faced me. I watched as he opened his pants and let them slide down his body. He wore no boxers, and it was the first time I’d seen him completely naked. For a man who spent his time behind a computer, he was built to chiseled perfection—washboard abs, thick pecs, and strong thighs. His cock jutted out from a thick tuft of dark, wiry hair. It didn’t take away from the broad length. A white bead slipped from the head, and I licked my lips, eager for a taste.
He said nothing as he stalked back to me, his cock bobbing with each step. Not even a warning before he swung, slicing the riding crop along my back. This was different than the paddle, and the pain was sharp. He struck again, near my shoulder-blades, and I hissed.
“We were on a trip up from San Diego. Mikhail liked to ride in the car and begged for us to drive,” Anatoly said.
His voice was raw and hard, but his hand kept moving. As he spoke, he punctuated each sentence with a hit, and I hurt along with him.
“We were almost done, and Raven decided to take a nap. She usually stayed awake to spend as much time as she could with Mikhail. Because of our lifestyle, we maintained the use of a nanny on the other side of the estate so he never saw us like that.”
He moved to hitting my ass, white-hot taps that sent me spiraling. I held on to his words, knowing they were important, and let him act out his pain on my skin.
“I let her rest, knowing we’d be home soon enough, and I was so fucking hard I couldn’t wait to get her on my Cross. She loved and feared it the most and had asked me … a rare thing … to put her on it.”
The hits came faster, sending my head into a foggy haze. I couldn’t think clearly. All I had were his words and the pain. I knew something horrible was coming, and that he’d save the worst for the last when he chose to hit me, but I could barely breathe now. The urge to use my yellow word pushed at the edges of my mind, but I bit my lip until it bled.
Not yet, not here.
“I just wanted to make sure he was okay. He made some noises in his sleep and I didn’t want to wake her up. I should have. My fucking God, I should have. But I looked at him, and he had his face twisted up, like in a nightmare. I reached toward him, just a touch to soothe him, and I lost control of the car. I’d been going too fast, thinking of what I’d do to her when we got home, and I didn’t pay attention. I jerked the wheel, my foot slipping to the gas instead of the brake, and I was suddenly in the other lane. The truck came around the curve, and there was no time. We slammed into them, the airbags deployed, and I faded.”
He gripped my ass and dug his fingers in, pressing of the burn of the riding crop’s strikes in deep. But he wasn’t done, and I knew it when he pulled my ass cheeks open, exposing the delicate rosette between them.
“I woke up in the hospital, screaming and unable to hear. Transcranial skull fracture, they’d told me later. Well, showed me on paperwork. Right next to it, in black and white, I read Raven Selene and Mikhail Anatoly Vasiliev were deceased.”
Couldn’t hear?
But I couldn’t hold on to what he told me, the important nuggets he left for me to find, because he swung one last time, biting the flesh of my asshole. I screamed, unable to hold back.
But Anatoly went on. “I can’t even hear you scream, Rebecca. Not anymore.”
Deaf. Anatoly was deaf. Not only had he lost his family, but his hearing as well. Suddenly, his need for me to look at him when I spoke, the bare feet on the hardwood floors, and the video calls all made sense.
Oh, Master.
I wept for him, openly, full of emotional pain that lanced deeper than the physical pain he forced upon me.
“I am half a man, Rebecca. And they are the reason why.”
I craned my neck to look him in the eyes. “But you aren’t,” I said. He wouldn’t be able to pick up my earnest tone, but I tried to convey it with my eyes. “You aren’t.”
He snorted, but he bent to release me from my bindings before swinging me into his arms.
“Let me have you,” he whispered, burying his face in my neck. “For a moment, let me have her back.”
It was heartbreaking, what he asked for, but I understood, more than he ever realized it. I forced his head from my shoulder to meet my gaze.
“Only if you can be him for me.”
He nodded, and I brushed the tears away from his eyes with my thumbs.
“I’ll turn the lights off. Get in bed, pet.”
“Yes, Master.”
He shivered, but it would be the last time I called him that tonight. In the darkness, warmed by pain of the flesh and frozen inside from emotional upheaval, I’d give him what he wanted.
“Maybe this way, we’ll both get to say goodbye,” I said.
He nodded and turned off the lights.
*
Anatoly
I deserved to be in hell, but I wished for heaven as I crawled into bed with her. Her skin was warm silk and lust under my hands, but I didn’t think of Rebecca. No, I thought of Raven. Her vanilla scent filled my nostrils, and I wondered how crazy I was to allow this to happen, but I was. Even as I slipped between her legs and wrapped my arms around her, the silence I’d been living with since the accident helped me imagine. If Rebecca called me Joshua, I wouldn’t know, but here in my head she could be Raven.
I curled around the woman I’d loved from the moment I saw her and licked my way up her neck. Her pulse beat strong under my lips, and I nipped at it, thankful she was alive. Her long legs wrapped around my waist, pressing her wet cunt to my cock, and I wanted to explode. How long had I wanted to touch her like this again? Too long. I slid into her heat, swelling deep inside her body. The lack of barrier between us only made it sweeter.
“Raven,” I groaned.
It was fucked up in so many ways, but tears still came to my eyes. I held her body close and jerked my hips, pressing against that spot she loved so much. Her pussy clenched around me, and I wished I could hear her moan. Ribbed muscles sucked at my dick with each push, and she held me tight, desperate to keep me inside her. I retreated and advanced, a promise to always be there, to never leave her again.
Keep me with you, please.
We came together in madness. I thumbed her clit, bit at her nipples, raked my short nails down the welts I’d given her on her back, and lost myself in her.
“Hold me close,” I demanded, pleased, and she heard me.
Her fingers speared through my hair, pulling me tighter against her body as she undulated under me. This was more than a temporary fuck or a desperate race to climax. I needed her like my next breath, and I was drowning. My teeth found her ear, and I bit the soft lobe, felt her arch and crane her neck to give me better access.
“Fuck, yes.”
More. I needed more of her. Gripping her knees, I pushed them higher up on the bed so I could get deeper. I slid in another inch, grinding against her walls with a swerve of my hips. Her nails scored their way down my spine, igniting nerves I thought long dead. Craving more, I lifted her against me—pulling our bodies away from the bed—and sat on my hunches. She draped over my lap, straddling me, and I helped her put her feet flat on the mattress.
“Ride me. Milk my fucking cock.”
I gripped her hips and helped her lift and slam on my dick in hard movements. I couldn’t breathe. Need and desire, regret and shame, pleasure and heart-wrenching pain all moved through me and I couldn’t stop the pain. With each glide of her hips, I lost it. That thin, tenuous link between reality and dreams snapped until I clung to her and wept into her breasts. I was a man lost, fucking his dead wife through the body of my newest pet, and she didn’t deserve it. She was sweet and kind, bowing before a man when she’d never done it before. Fighting for me against reporters she believed hurt me, and I returned her trust in me with this.
But I couldn’t stop.
I jerked my hips into her, rushing headlong into the abyss, using her light to find my way. My balls tightening against my body, I tossed my head back and bellowed when she clamped around me. It was all I needed, one last push to send me crashing back to earth, shattering into pieces on the ground.