Rebecca

We didn’t stop after the first time. Caught up in dreams and a bit of the past, we rested our weariness at each other’s feet every night. He was my Joshua, and I his Raven. In the mornings, we said nothing about what we’d done; it was easier that way. I made him tea and ate breakfast with him. We worked out in the gym together or swam in his pool. While he worked on finalizing the game, he gave me working models to test and occupy me. When I needed fresh air, I rode Lenny in the corral. I learned to saddle, brush, feed, and clean up after him, all on my own. But as the days and weeks passed, it felt … empty.

We got to know each other, but it only made our nights bittersweet. My Master disappeared because he needed lights to see me, his gaze on me to read my lips, and the darkness was the only way we could live in our fantasy. We clung to it, despite what we should have been doing.

Six months had passed since I’d signed the contract, and I didn’t know if we’d renew at the end or go our separate ways. Part of me believed we’d keep going because, at least in part, we had a bit of what we’d lost. But was it worth it? I wasn’t so sure. He wasn’t Joshua, not entirely. Anatoly drank tea instead of coffee. He stayed barefoot because the vibrations alerted him of things his ears no longer could, and Joshua hated having anything less than socks on. And I’d never wanted Joshua to do the things I’d allowed Anatoly to do. Things I missed now that they weren’t a part of our relationship.

I snorted. We didn’t have a relationship, and it was more apparent now than ever before. I ran the brush down Lenny’s flanks, the motion soothing as my thoughts fractured.

I should leave.

Despite the agreement, I thought Anatoly would let me go back home if I asked. But I was afraid of that acquiesce. If I left, it would only solidify I was nothing more than a replacement. Especially when he’d become much more. I don’t know when it happened. One moment he was a way to escape, a link to a new and exciting world I could fade into, but things were different. I didn’t want the world to just be new. I wanted it to be my world, a place where he led me, where I deserved the collar I wore around my neck.

“Collars are important, Lenny, did you know that?” He snorted and went back to munching from his feed bag. “I’m serious. I looked it up. When a Dominant or Master presents a collar, it can be as binding as marriage. Some, of course, use it more as a binding rite, but I think it means more than that for Anatoly.”

I fingered the leather around my neck. I’d never removed it since becoming his pet, but the supple leather didn’t have the permanence of some of the collars I’d seen online. It only made me remember Raven in the portrait, her throat adorned with diamonds. That meant something to Anatoly, and I had no doubt the piece had been made just for her.

“I want something like that,” I whispered to the horse. “Permanence and forever. Is that so much to ask? I’ve already had a happily ever after. Maybe you’re not supposed to get a second one.”

I sighed and finished brushing the horse before covering him with his blanket and leaving the stall. Working with him helped to clear my mind, but the sun was going down, and I knew I needed to get ready for Anatoly to come into my room. Even with everything I wanted, I wouldn’t deny him that. When I reached the house, Ramona met me at the door.

“Oh, Rebecca. Were you with Lenny again?”

I smiled. “Of course. He’s the other man in my life.”

Ramona hmphed, but her smile seemed forced.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

She looked behind her before exiting the house and closing the door behind her. I marveled, again, how the staff treated Anatoly like he could still hear. I supposed it was so it wouldn’t appear as obvious that he read lips or needed video chat for phone calls.

“Today is not a good day for Anatoly.”

“Why?” I hadn’t been aware of anything planned, or of anything bothering him. We’d played games like normal today before he went into his office to work. He’d appeared a bit distracted, but not upset.

“He told you about Raven and Mikhail, yes?”

I nodded, still not understanding.

“Today is the anniversary. Normally, he works all day and all night, and then goes to visit them in the morning. It’s hard for him to take the day off. Too many memories in his head, maybe.”

Rockets set off in my head. I hadn’t thought of Joshua’s anniversary, which had passed shortly after coming to Anatoly’s home. But if this was the anniversary, he may not come to me like he had been doing.

“Do you let him work like that?” I asked.

“No one lets Anatoly do anything. We couldn’t stop him if we wanted to. He would rage and throw a fit if we tried. He needs something to keep him focused. I was wondering …” she began, letting her voice trail off.

She didn’t have to tell me what she was thinking, though. It was clear on her face. I was his pet, and it was my job to give him what he needed. So I hugged her to me and whispered in her ear, “Go home. I’ll take care of him.”

She gave me a watery smile, and I headed into the house. First, I needed to take care of a few things, and then I’d go in search of Anatoly. We couldn’t keep falling under the memories of the past. They were part of us but not the end of who we were. I took time cleaning my body, shaving, and rubbing lotion into my skin before I toweled off. Next, I braided my hair into a thick rope and let it hang over my shoulder before I went in search for adornments. The nipple clamps stung as I put them on, but the picture I studied in the mirror was sexy. The red jewels only highlighted the flush of my skin and stood out against my blonde hair. Then I let myself out of my room and headed into Anatoly’s.

Knowing he was deaf now allowed me to plan my mode of attack better. I slid to the ground on my hands and knees the minute I had his door opened. As quiet as I could, I slunk into his room, hearing his mouth click furiously as he worked on his computer. Trepidation filled me. I didn’t want him to be angry and throw me out, but I was determined to give him more than my body in the dark. He could have my heart, if he wanted it.

The hardwood floor pressed into my knees as I crawled deeper into his room. He concentrated on his computer screen, brow furrowed and eyes intent. I wanted him to study me like that. To see me. I slipped under his desk and felt him jerk when I brushed against his legs.

“Rebecca?” he asked, but I ignored him.

Who else?

I pressed my face between his legs, inhaling his musky aroma. His cock hardened against my seeking face as I nuzzled him.

“I’ll be in the room tonight,” he said as he pulled back on my hair.

No. I didn’t want to be her tonight. I wanted to be Rebecca, his pet. I needed my Master. I knew what I was doing was wrong, but I needed him. I didn’t know how else to show it. Searching until I found his slacks closure, I used my teeth, pulling it one way to release it from the clasp before gripping the zipper and pulling it down.

“Stop.”

No.

Instead of listening, I rubbed between the gaping edges until I found him, hot and hardening. He wouldn’t ignore me, not tonight. I snaked out my tongue and traced it along his length, tasting the salt on his skin. Saliva dripped out of my mouth, and he growled. His fingers clenched in my hair, but he didn’t stop me. With each pass of my tongue, his cock jumped until it poked out of his slacks and stood for my attention. I worshiped his flesh, sucking on the bulbous head, licking my way around to an inch just under his helmet, lapping at the shaft.

“Suck it down.”

He gave me no other recourse as he shifted his hips and slid to my throat. My throat heaved, but he didn’t stop. He fucked my mouth, sliding back and forth, quick and hard. Tears pooled, my jaw ached, and I made him a wet mess. But he groaned and held me harder. He controlled me, and the elation in my veins warmed me to the soul. This was what I needed. Suddenly, he withdrew from my mouth and pulled me from under the desk by my hair.

“I need more,” he said.

“Anything, Master. I’ll give you anything.”

He released my hair, only to lift me and carry me out of his room, through mine, and into the playroom. He’d never brought me directly in here, and I scanned the contents of this private place. There were more benches, a table with stirrups, and the spreader chair was stored here as well. A swing-like apparatus, much like one used for yoga, hung from the ceiling, along with several gleaming hooks at varying heights.  What surprised me most of all was all the furniture was black, but the walls, floor, and ceiling were all blinding white. On the wall farthest from me, a large, black wooden structure in the shape of an X took up the space. Buckles hung from the four extremities, but Anatoly turned from that. Looking over my shoulder and sucking in a breath, I laid eyes on what he wanted me on.

The rounded bench—reminding me of a gymnastic horse—had a thick dildo built into the top of it near the back, with a lump to the front and then a remote sitting to the side. I looked back at Anatoly.

“I want to feel how tight you can squeeze me.”

He didn’t give me much time to think. He sat me just behind the false cock and ordered me to stay. I clung to the horse as Anatoly left and rummaged around in my bedroom. When he returned, he was sans clothes and holding a tube of lube.

“Let’s get you ready, shall we?”

When he came closer, he stepped behind me on the horse, and I wrapped my arms around his neck for balance. Resting against his body, I felt soothed and grounded. Here, I understood, I knew my place. In the blinding white, he couldn’t imagine me to be anybody else. His hands framed my breasts and he flicked the clamps, causing me to hiss.

“This was a very nice touch,” he commended.

Then he was squeezing lube on the cock in front of me before he put it to the side and gripped my hips.

“This will feel like nothing you’ve ever felt before,” he whispered.

He lifted me as if I weighed nothing, angling my body and then lowering me down on the lubed dildo. It stretched and filled me, pushing against my walls and going deeper as I sank to rest on the horse again.

“Good?” he asked.

“Better than good, Master.”

“Not yet,” he teased, reaching for the remote.

The nub to the front of the dildo made sense as vibrations rocked against my clit in an easy wave. The contraption was wicked and delicious, teasing my insides and pussy.

“Still not yet,” he added, and pressed another button.

“Ah!” I yelled. Nubs inside of the cock worked in a circle, hitting my walls in a circular rotation.

“Bend forward and brace your hands in front of you.”

I could barely think. Electric currents shot through my clit, and I couldn’t believe how many nerves could be stimulated by an inanimate object. But Anatoly wasn’t finished. Cold lube slid along my ass cheeks and in between.

“How tight will that ass get, pet?”

I couldn’t answer him. His thumb breeched my sphincter, and I hissed from the extra stimulation. He worked his finger in and out, pushing a bit deeper with each glide before he removed it.

“I find myself impatient.”

He fiddled with the remote and the vibrations got stronger. I wailed, barely aware of his cockhead pressing into my ass. Too much. It was tight, hot, pulsing, and fucking fabulous. My pussy clenched and flexed with each push of his hips. As he entered, the space between my ass and pussy shrank until I felt his cock brushing against the dildo inside me.

“You’re so tight. Like a fist. Let me in. All the way in.”

Anatoly pumped faster, pressing in each delicious inch at a time with his strokes. I could barely breathe, vibrating and stretched to distraction. It was nearly too much, and yet not enough. By the time he gripped my hips and pounded in, I was lost. Assaulted on all sides, it was all I could do to hold on. I clenched the horse with my thighs, scratching my way along the surface and rocking my hips into the pleasure.

Anatoly pulled my hair, lifting my face and turning my head to claim my lips with his. I couldn’t have wanted anything better. I was surrounded and filled by him, shot into the sky and left hovering too close to the sun. I was Icarus, infatuated with the very thing that would send me crashing to my fiery death. But, like Icarus, I still reached for it. Holding Anatoly was playing with fire, burning slow and deep, exploding into an amalgamation of need and supplication. Without him, I’d have never known such highs or lows. The ragged pieces of my heart stitched together with the hemp he bound me with. There was no denying it any longer.

I wasn’t falling for my Master. I’d already hit rock bottom.