Rebecca

The blue-glass building with a distinctly curved façade rose before me, full of promise and demand. I felt threatened by its very stature, though I held my head high and walked into the lobby like I would any board meeting. I’d spent hours at the salon working my ultrafine blonde hair into a teased brilliance that fell around my shoulders and down the center of my back in an artful wave. Dark kohl rimmed my golden eyes in a winged-tip look more suited for a red-carpet affair, and the makeup artist had somehow created a cut-crease effect with concealer and precisely placed eyeshadow from opal white to dusky bronze. The effect was enigmatic and exotic. A touch of nude lipstick covered my lips, complementing the bold eyes with a dewy perfection. She’d even dusted golden highlights on my cheekbones. All this before I boarded a plane to New York for my interview. New York.

It was more makeup than I’d normally wear but not enough to feel cakey. In fact, it was weightless on my face, the airbrush gun having painted my foundation on with deceptive ease. To cement the look, I wore a beige sheath dress with nude stilettoes that were red on the bottom—the only spot of color in my attire. I felt in control and powerful with each step, but the tiny diamond resting at the base of my neck on a thin chain reminded me to be delicate, too. What I wanted was to give up this control I’d wrapped around me like a cloak. Wren suggested I attend to my interview as the CEO I wanted to leave behind, a rite of passage to the next stage in my life. I thanked her for her support. Coming this way gave me the confidence to walk through the doors.

Wren hung on to my elbow, as my sponsor, to be with me during my interview. She’d gone for a simple black dress and pumps, red lips curled into a mischievous smile. The effect of her standing next to me, just slightly shorter than my five-foot-eleven height in heels, sent me into a tailspin. She was confident and in control, walking me through the lobby to private elevators without looking in one direction or the next. Her back was ramrod straight, and she exuded absolute balance.

I leaned over to whisper in her ear, “If I wanted a woman, I’d be hot for you, I swear.”

Her smile was brilliant when she looked up at me. “Honey, I’m only playing the Dom to show off your will to follow. You’ve seen nothing yet. Just trust me, okay?”

I nodded. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t. When we climbed into the open elevator other people were there, so we ended our conversation, but Wren never let me go. Her authoritative hold on my arm did things to my insides that made me wonder if, in fact, I might enjoy women as well. When she pulled on my arm to force me to bend over to her, I sucked in a breath.

“Push number thirty-seven,” she told me.

I pressed the button without standing back up.

“What should you have said?” she asked.

“Yes, Ma’am.”

In preparation for my interview, she’d practiced the simple responses and basic knowledge of the BDSM world with me the night before. She’d assured me my Dom would want to have more control over the lessons, but it wouldn’t hurt have some knowledge of the world.

“Good. You may stand.”

Her voice was low, but I heard her, the words streaking through me like fire. As I stood, my head swam with confusion and whispered need.

“Steady,” she answered, and some of the command faded from her voice. The shift helped me get my bearings as we rode the rest of the way in silence.

“Is it like this for you?” I asked her.

“All the time. Just keep going.”

When we finally reached our floor, the elevator doors opened. The first thing I noticed was Infidelity beautifully scrolled on a wall that stretched toward the lofty ceilings. I didn’t expect it to be so … obvious.

“Infidelity isn’t just about what you are here for. There are hundreds of employees who work for them. While I represent a select group, Infidelity is a Fortune 500 company in its own right. I told you there was nothing shady going on. Are you ready?”

“As I’ll ever be.”

“Good. I’m going to switch back to Dom now.”

“Yes, Ma’am.”

Wren’s eyes twinkled as she stepped forward to the receptionist desk. “Ms. Carmichael and Ms. Gallahan to see Ms. Flores,” she introduced. I jolted at the use of my maiden name, Gallahan, but I understood the need to use it here. I wasn’t Mrs. Torbin any longer, and Infidelity wasn’t part of my past.

“Of course. Ms. Flores is expecting you, Ms. Carmichael. I’ll let her know you are here.”

It didn’t take long, though I was surprised at the amount of people who passed in and out of the lobby. Wren sat down to wait but kept me standing, just to the left and behind her, with my hand on her shoulder. A middle-aged woman in a neat, black skirt-suit came around the corner.

“Wren, it’s good to see you. Still enjoying your agreement, I hope?”

“More than ever,” Wren answered as she stood. She shook hands before introducing me. “And this is Rebecca Gallahan.”

“I see what you meant on the phone, she is absolutely stunning.”

Wren looked at me and nodded. I reached for Ms. Flores’ hand to shake. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Ms. Flores.”

“Karen, please, and I see Wren has been helping you become accustomed to a new lifestyle. Please, follow me.”

With that, she turned, and we followed her to another elevator after she went down corridor after corridor. There was no way that was the direct route. It was obvious she had been with Infidelity for a long time as Karen skillfully led the way through several more hallways. Still, I waited until Wren propelled us forward into the elevator. Karen flashed her badge over a sensor and the doors opened to let us in. Once inside, I noticed the panel for the floors only had two buttons: O and I. I suddenly felt like I’d entered the real part of Infidelity. Karen chose I and we were on our way.

My gut rolled with trepidation and anticipation in equal measure. The floor below may have been what Infidelity showed to the public, but the space we landed on was the heart of the company. Again, we were met with a large receptionist desk, this one glass, with another golden-scrolled Infidelity on the wall. Here, there was only one door, guarded by a keypad and nestled behind the receptionist. Karen put the code in and motioned for us to go in first.

The full wall of windows behind Karen’s desk offered a breathtaking view of the financial district and beyond that, the Brooklyn Bridge. I would’ve killed for a view like that. She sat down at her desk and waited.

“Would you like anything to drink?” Karen asked.

I didn’t answer until Wren said no. “No, thank you.”

“Now, from this point on,” Karen began, “I’ll be looking for your answers directly. Wren has proven you’ve obviously chosen to be a submissive of your own free will. Please, sit.”

I sat as she directed and crossed my ankles before tucking my hands on my lap.

“Rebecca Gallahan, formerly Torbin, age thirty-two. You graduated from the University of Texas summa cum laude before pursuing your masters online as you built your company. Correct?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“After the death of your husband two years ago, you removed yourself from the public eye, slowly shifted your company’s focus, and prepared to turn over the reins completely to new management. Why?”

“Because I was tired.”

“Of what?” Karen asked, cocking her head to one side.

“Of it all. The noise, the people, and especially pity. I didn’t want to be the woman who kept going on after her husband died. Everything I did was colored by it, even after all I did before his death. His passing suddenly defined me, and I hated it. I kept faking, the best I could, but even that eventually broke me.”

“I’ll be honest, Rebecca, you barely passed the psychological evaluation. Your emotions waver too strongly, and you are just steps away from crippling depression. If it weren’t for the fact you are obviously built with a core of steel, and the way you have handled your business since Joshua’s passing, I’d be hesitant to hire you.”

It was a battle to keep myself from balling my hands into fists. Somewhere, between lunch the day before and the trip into this room, I’d gained the need for this to work. I’d looked forward to it more than I realized. In the recesses of my mind, I understood what I wanted wasn’t the social norm, and maybe I had to be a bit twisted to need it, but that didn’t belittle my cravings. Once that floodgate opened, they couldn’t be contained. Karen watched through my indecision, her eyes zeroing in on my face. She didn’t miss a thing, and I struggled not to fidget under her gaze. I’d stared down men much older than me, and with twice my clout while I built my business, but not many could compare to the frank gaze with which she studied me.

“Your limits are unusual, and not ones we typically have assignments for. But there is a possibility you are the only one who can fulfill the needs of a particular client.”

“You already have someone in mind?” I asked.

“Mm.” It wasn’t an answer per se, but I still felt my heart flutter. “How far does this need for pain go? I ask because we have a strict no violence policy. Abuse will get the agreement immediately voided.”

My gaze traveled to Wren before I took a deep breath. She didn’t outwardly give me support, but just her presence made things easier. She’d told me to be true to what I wanted, and nothing worth it would be easy. If I needed more than even she could fathom, I needed to be honest with my Dom and myself.

“I don’t want to be able to say no. I don’t want to choose. I want to be completely taken over, a loss of everything I know.”

Karen blinked. “So if a client wanted to kidnap you and hold you in a cage, would you do it?”

Everything in me froze. For two seconds, fear spread through my system. Frigid, arctic water coated my arteries, blasting my heart. Then, a sweet burn rushed through me in its wake. How would he take me? Would I balk? I was losing my mind to consider this. Who in their right mind craved this sort of loss of control? Maybe Karen was right; my psych evaluation had showed I might not be stable. I should get up and walk out this door, right this instant, and never look back. Take the five thousand dollars and use it to invest in a shrink. The rest of my fortune, which would deplete steadily but support me for many years to come, would dwindle while I swallowed pills to keep the doctors away. And yet …

“I’d do it,” I whispered. My voice was thin, airy, in a way I’d never heard before. Needy in a way that terrified me. My desires seemed too far-fetched and in exact opposition of what I’d ever had, and maybe that was the allure.

“Do you think I’m crazy?” I asked.

“No, I think you’re far from it. But it’s not my place to judge. What I think you are is confused and unsure of your place in the world, but that very nature may help you save yourself, and in the process, your companion. If you are agreeable, we will review the agreement the client has signed and see if it’s acceptable to you.”

I was drowning, down the rabbit hole, chasing a white rabbit who’d led me to my doom. But, like Alice, I was too intrigued to turn my gaze and too helpless not to follow.