CHAPTER 17
“You have an incredible family,” Mara told Jared an hour or two after Hope’s revelation had shaken up the entire clan of Sinclairs. Although Evan tried not to appear affected by any of it, Mara knew better. While the rest of the family had been able to talk things out, hug each other in forgiveness and support, Evan had been brooding by himself. There was no healing for Evan, and her heart ached for him.
“I’ve missed them,” Jared admitted in a low, thoughtful voice as he watched the whole bunch of Sinclairs around him laughing and teasing each other about everything from childhood exploits to their sports team preferences. “I just wished I had known about Hope.”
“Nobody did. Evan didn’t even know until it was over. I’m glad she showed everybody her work. You should be proud of her. She’s talented,” Mara told him thoughtfully.
Hope had brought up her portfolio online after every Sinclair had insisted on seeing it. They’d all spent some time marveling at her talent, and Mara could see that Hope was relieved and pleased that her family could finally acknowledge her career. Although Hope was now done shooting extreme weather and chasing natural disasters around the world, she was still building her name in nature photography. And in Mara’s opinion, she was damn good at it.
“Jared? Somebody is here for you. She says she’s an old acquaintance of yours.” Emily hovered near where they were seated on the couch, her face appearing uncertain.
The doorbell had rung a few minutes ago, and Emily had hopped up, Grady right behind her protectively, to see who was visiting. Since the family was all here, and the Peninsula was private, he’d acted concerned. Obviously, they hadn’t been expecting any more guests.
The room grew quiet, all eyes on Jared. “Who is it?” he asked, appearing confused.
It’s a she? He isn’t seeing anyone else right now. He told me he isn’t.
Mara’s heart started to race, her fear that it was an old flame that he’d taken to his bed who had tracked him down making a cold chill move slowly down her spine.
He wouldn’t lie to me. He wouldn’t. Even if it is an old flame, he isn’t sleeping with her now.
Emily stepped aside, and a haggard-looking woman stepped up. “It’s me. I’m sorry to intrude, but I had to see you.” The older female was nervous, wringing her hands as she stood in front of Jared.
Mara turned her head in time to see a flash of intense pain cross over Jared’s expression. She very much doubted that the relationship was sexual. The woman was old enough to be his mother, but judging from Jared’s reaction, he obviously knew her.
“Mrs. Olsen?” Jared’s voice cracked as he acknowledged her.
For the first time, Evan rose and strode over to the couch. “Ah . . . it seems to be the night for family skeletons to come out of the closet. But not this particular secret, and not tonight. You, madam, may leave immediately or I’ll call the police and have you thrown out.” The eldest Sinclair brother’s voice was chillier than Antarctica.
“The police are already here,” Dante growled as he rose and stood next to Evan. “What the hell is going on?”
“Who is she?” Mara asked breathlessly, sensing the tension in Jared’s body.
“Selena’s mother,” Jared ground out painfully.
Mara vaulted to her feet, unable to contain her fury that this woman had actually sought Jared out after all he’d been through, after everything he’d done to protect her feelings in the past. She gritted her teeth as she spoke. “I’m sorry you lost your daughter, but Jared has been through enough over the years. Enough! Now leave.” She wasn’t letting this woman anywhere near Jared, and she stepped between them, essentially blocking Jared’s vision so he didn’t have to look at the woman who had slapped him down and blamed him for her daughter’s death.
“I’m not here to hurt him again,” the woman said nervously, anxiously.
“Then why are you here?” Mara demanded to know.
“I was hoping I could have a word alone with Jared,” Mrs. Olsen said quietly, fidgeting uncomfortably.
“Not until hell freezes over,” Mara spat out at her vehemently. She wasn’t leaving this woman alone with Jared so she could spew more venom at him. It might have been understandable when Selena’s death was so new, so heart wrenching. But several years later, she wasn’t getting her claws into Jared again.
“We’re all family here. Say what you have to say now or leave,” Evan demanded icily. “But be warned that if I don’t like what you’re saying, your ass will be outside in seconds.”
“I can’t say I know exactly what’s happening, but I’ll be helping him remove you,” Dante agreed.
“Selena kept journals,” Mrs. Olsen blurted out suddenly. “After she died, I couldn’t bring myself to read any of them, and I wasn’t sure I should. About a month ago, I found them packed away. I decided that I wanted to know her thoughts during the year before she died. She’d grown distant, and I wanted to know why.” She stopped and took a deep breath. “I know she was in love with Alan, and she was sleeping with him even though she was in a relationship with you, Jared. I want to know what really happened the night she died.” Tears flowed down the woman’s haggard, worn-out expression. “I don’t think I can let it go until I do know, now that I’ve read those journals.”
Jared stood and brought Mara up against his side. “There’s no point in rehashing it now,” Jared insisted. “Selena and Alan are gone, Mrs. Olsen. As much as I wish that wasn’t true, we can’t bring them back. I told you how sorry I was, and I don’t expect you to ever stop hating me. But let it go.”
“I just need to know, Jared,” the woman pleaded.
Jared kept his mouth clamped shut, shaking his head regretfully.
He can’t do it even now. He can’t get the words out or hurt her mother.
Mara clasped his hand in support. Obviously, he still wasn’t going to tell the truth, even though Selena’s mother knew the worst of it.
So Evan spoke for him. “My brother didn’t know about the two of them, or that they were sleeping together. Jared was working, trying to get the business going that he generously offered to partner with Alan. On the night of the party, Jared was there, and he was sober just like he had promised to be. When your daughter and Alan disappeared, he went looking for them and caught them having sex in one of the bedrooms where the party was being held. Feeling heartbroken and betrayed, which he was, he left. An ordinary reaction from a man who’d just had his heart figuratively dug out of his chest with a spoon, madam.” Jared pinned the woman with his intense, blue-eyed stare. “Nobody knows what happened after that except the three people involved, and they’re all dead. I understand you were devastated when your daughter died, and so was Jared. He took the blame at an extremely high price to his own mental health. He never said a disparaging word about your daughter to you or anyone, never told anyone that she had cheated. He wanted you to have your happy memories without besmirching your daughter’s reputation.” Evan’s voice had been eerily calm, as though he’d been talking about a minor business deal. He crossed his arms in front of him, his gaze never leaving the distraught woman in front of him.
“Evan. Stop.” Jared put a hand on his oldest brother’s shoulder. “This won’t change anything.”
Shaking off Jared’s hold, Evan said, “I hope for your sake that it does change things for you, Jared.”
“I’m so sorry,” Mrs. Olsen wailed. “I understand why you left. It was a natural reaction. You were good to Selena, and I’m so sorry she hurt you.”
“I should have stayed,” Jared grunted uncomfortably. “I should have taken both of them home myself even though I was hurt.”
“I don’t think Selena would have gone with you once you knew the truth. She wanted you to help her pay the rest of her way through school, and once you knew about her and Alan, she would have known it was over. You did what any person would do. The two people you cared about the most betrayed you,” Mrs. Olsen sobbed out. “I loved my daughter, and I wish I could have her back, but she was using you, and I’m sorry for that. I really did think she loved you. For what it’s worth, Alan did try to stop the affair, and he wanted to tell you the truth. It was all in her journal. He did love Selena, apparently.” She swiped tears from her face as she looked up at Jared. “You didn’t do anything wrong, Jared. I’m so sorry. I don’t expect you to forgive me, but I suspected something like this had happened when I read Selena’s journal. I had to seek you out. I needed to know the truth so I could lay everything to rest. I loved Selena more than anything, but I don’t like the things she did.”
“I do forgive you,” Jared said huskily. “Selena was a beautiful woman, and she wasn’t evil, Mrs. Olsen. She just fell in love with somebody else and wanted to finish school. She knew you didn’t have the money. I did. I don’t hate her, and I wish she wasn’t gone. She had some wonderful parts of her that the whole world will miss.”
Mara’s heart squeezed with love for this incredible man beside her. Even after all he’d been through, after all he was finding out about a woman he had loved, he still mourned her death.
Mrs. Olsen sniffled. “That’s very kind of you to say after how I treated you at her funeral, after I blamed you.”
Jared shrugged. “I understood. You were mourning a daughter. I can’t imagine anything more painful than that. I just wanted you to remember the good things about Selena.”
“I try to remember the good things,” she told Jared quietly.
Jared nodded. “You should. I know I will. Selena, Alan, and I had a lot of good memories. We were all young and made our mistakes.”
“But what she did to you—”
“Doesn’t matter anymore,” Jared finished for her. “We were still college age, Mrs. Olsen. Selena was a smart, headstrong girl, and Alan fell for her like a ton of bricks. Selena was still in college, not quite grown up yet. Focus on the good things she did. We all make stupid errors when we’re young.” He put a hand on her shoulder sympathetically.
“You were a good boy, Jared. And it looks like you’ve grown into a fine man, too.” The older woman looked up at him. “Are you happy?” She looked at Mara. “Is this your wife?”
“I am happy now. And this is Mara, the woman who changed my life,” Jared said in a graveled voice.
“I’m sorry about your daughter, Mrs. Olsen,” Mara said gravely, holding her hand out to the woman who had caused Jared so much pain. Although she hated the anguish this woman had put Jared through, she hadn’t known the truth. Now that she did, Mara admired the elder lady’s gumption for seeking Jared out to find out what had really occurred the night her daughter died, and trying to right some of the wrongs. Many parents wouldn’t want to know. Obviously, this woman did, and Mara was grateful to her for finally giving Jared the closure he so desperately needed, at the expense of her own pain. It was almost like the relationship between them had come full circle. Jared had suffered in silence for all these years, blaming himself. Mrs. Olsen had suffered thinking she’d blamed Jared unfairly, and then started blaming herself. Finally, they could both find peace, or so Mara fervently hoped.
Mrs. Olsen took Mara’s outstretched hand, shaking it and then patting it gently. “Make him happy then, Mara.”
“I plan on it,” she answered reassuringly.
Jared stepped forward once Mara had let her hand drop to her side and scooped the older woman into a hug. Mara watched as Mrs. Olsen closed her eyes and hugged him back. Tears sprang to her eyes as she watched Jared actually embrace his tormenter, forgiving so easily because the woman had lost her daughter. Jared’s ability for compassion and empathy humbled her.
Wrapping an arm around the woman’s shoulders, Jared walked her out to her car. Trusting that the woman wouldn’t harm Jared emotionally now, Mara stayed behind to give them a few minutes of privacy. The minute they’d exited through the doorway, the room exploded with questions.
“What the hell was that all about?”
“What happened to Jared?”
“Who the hell was she?”
Evan motioned for all of them to sit, and he calmly answered their questions. Mara smiled at him, knowing he was answering the difficult inquiries so that Jared wouldn’t have to do it. Just like Evan had spilled the stories about Hope, so she didn’t have to go through the pain of doing it herself.
Evan explained the entire incident, not going into any of the details about Jared’s subsequent bender. All he told the other Sinclairs was that he’d visited Jared and he was taking the deaths of his friends hard and blaming himself.
“I wish I had known,” Dante grumbled. “How did we ever get so separated? Hope and Jared both went through hell, and none of the rest of us knew except Evan. Why? I knew Jared was different, that he’d changed. But he wouldn’t talk about it. Maybe if we’d stayed closer, he would have.”
“I knew because I know everything,” Evan answered arrogantly. “Jared wasn’t ready to talk back then. No amount of discussion would have convinced him that what happened wasn’t his fault. He needed time.”
It might have helped Jared if he’d had support, but Mara noticed that Evan didn’t go there. She assumed it was because the incident was over, and he didn’t want his brothers taking on any guilt for what Jared had gone through alone, just like he didn’t want them to have excessive remorse over what had happened to Hope.
Grady glared at Evan. “Why didn’t you tell us about Hope and Jared?”
Evan shrugged. “Neither of them were my stories to tell. I knew you’d all know the truth someday, and there wasn’t much you could do after those things had already happened.”
“How did you think we were going to find out?” Dante asked.
“We’re Sinclairs,” Evan drawled. “We might be separated by distance, but we’re bound by blood and our histories.”
“And because you all love each other,” Sarah added fiercely. “You’ve always been there when you needed each other. Maybe it wasn’t the time for Jared and Hope to share, but we all know now. And you’re all supportive.”
“I’m so glad you’re all together again,” Emily said with a sigh before looking at Mara expectantly. “Does this mean you and Jared are getting married and staying in Amesport?” Her voice was hopeful.
“No,” Mara replied hastily, not wanting Emily to have any expectations. “I mean, we’re just . . . um . . . dating.”
Sarah snorted. “He said you’re the woman who has changed his life. That doesn’t sound like a ‘just dating’ scenario to me.”
“Leave the poor woman alone,” Evan said imperiously. “Taking Jared on for life would be a big decision for any woman. Sinclairs aren’t easy to deal with, and Jared’s no exception. He’s a pain in the ass.”
Dante chuckled. “Don’t say that too loud. I’m getting hitched tomorrow.”
“I have no doubt that Sarah heard me, and that she’s well aware that you’re a pain in the ass, too,” Evan answered, deadpan.
Sarah giggled. “He can be occasionally.” She exchanged a sultry look with her fiancé.
“It’s a damn good thing that I’m perfect,” Grady commented in a cocky voice.
Emily trilled with delighted laughter. “Only in your dreams, big guy. But I have to admit you’re pretty close.”
Mara’s heart swelled as she watched the whole Sinclair clan rib each other good-naturedly. It was remarkable that after a night of so many shared secrets, so much drama and pain, all of them could come together again so seamlessly. They were all survivors, and so resilient that Mara admired every one of them.
She now saw being a part of Sarah’s wedding taking place tomorrow as an honor instead of a chore or a favor. This was a special family, born of wealth and privilege, but all with good hearts.
Hopefully, meeting with Selena’s mother would be a turning point for Jared. Every day he had become more and more open, but she could tell he was still struggling, still hesitant. Tonight might have finally brought him absolution, his way back to living a normal life again. She wanted that for him so desperately that her heart ached.
“Anybody up for dessert now?” Emily asked loudly. “Mara made a chocolate turtle cheesecake. I can make coffee and we can dish out dessert.”
“I’ll dish it up,” Dante offered hastily, springing out of his seat.
“I’ll help,” Jason insisted, springing to his feet.
“Oh, no you don’t,” Hope said as she got to her feet with a delighted laugh. “It will be gone before it’s on the plates. Chocolate addict,” she accused, following her husband toward the kitchen.
Sarah and Emily came over and each of the women grabbed one of Mara’s hands. “Come on. We’d better hurry before your dessert is gone. Poor Jared doesn’t even have a shot because he stepped outside. Dante and Grady are playing dirty,” Emily said jokingly.
A giggle escaped Mara’s mouth as the two women pulled her to her feet. “Evan?” Mara looked over at the eldest brother. “Would you like some?”
“No thank you,” he answered haughtily. “I try to avoid carb- and sugar-laden products that have no nutritional value whatsoever.”
“No junk food?” Mara gasped. “You’re missing out on something good.”
“I’m accustomed to that,” Evan mumbled under his breath.
Mara heard him, or she thought she did. Maybe she hadn’t understood him correctly. “Did you say something?”
“No,” Evan answered cantankerously.
She looked at him quizzically, trying to figure out the oldest Sinclair brother. If she took him at face value, he was actually a jerk, and she had no doubt that arrogance and testiness were genuinely parts of his personality. But there was something else, something she couldn’t quite put a finger on. During certain moments, Evan was so much more than he seemed, most of those instances revolving around protecting or shielding his family. Did anyone else see how dedicated he was to his siblings? Or was she the only one who could see something else beneath his finely sculpted image of snobbery and control?
Her heart went out to Evan, sitting by himself there in the family room, his face devoid of emotion. He seemed so separate, so . . . lonely. Honestly, she didn’t think he was happy that way, either. So why was he continuing to live that way?
“Mara, are you coming? Grady’s got the pie!” Emily’s laughing voice floated out to her from the kitchen.
Shaking off her desolation from watching Evan Sinclair sitting isolated in the family room, she smiled as she walked to the kitchen. Once there, she realized pandemonium was breaking out, everyone fighting to take possession of the pie.
“What are they doing?” Jared moved behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist as he came back inside.
“Fighting over the chocolate turtle cheesecake I brought,” she answered, amused.
“Maybe I should be in on that.” He tightened his arms around her waist and kissed her on the temple.
“No need.” She turned and wrapped her arms around his neck. Leaning closer, she whispered in his ear, “Don’t tell anybody, but I made one all for you. It’s at home in the refrigerator.”
His deep green gaze captured hers, his eyes filled with humor. “No wonder I fucking worship you.”
“For my pie?” she teased.
“Because you actually made one especially for me, and a million other reasons.” He lowered his forehead against hers. “Pie later. I think I’d rather have you for dessert. Let’s go home, unless you want to fight for dessert.”
Sweet Jesus. All she really wanted was to lick on him for an after-dinner treat. He looked so damn handsome he took her breath away. “I’m sure you’ll share.”
“Everything I have, baby,” he answered, his words almost like a vow.
“I want to lick your entire body for my dessert,” she whispered in his ear, nipping his earlobe lightly.
“Holy fuck. We’re out of here,” Jared declared, lifting her up and carrying her toward the door.
“Aren’t we going to say good-bye?”
“Later,” Jared bellowed to his family, his eyes never leaving hers.
His back to his family, Jared never noticed that all of his siblings stopped fighting for a moment to smile after their retreating figures with hope in all of their eyes.