CHAPTER 13
Jared’s head thumped against the back of the recliner. He closed his eyes and hoped he wouldn’t wake up from what had to be a fantastic wet dream before he had a chance to fuck the woman between his thighs. Jesus, he needed her, needed her warmth surrounding him right now.
Maybe I really am having a wet dream.
The attention Mara was lavishing on his body was too intense, too surreal, too damn everything to really be happening. The way she touched him—like she really wanted nothing more than to be caressing him, like she needed to feel his body beneath her fingers—drove him completely insane. It was real, and it was massively addictive.
Confusion and rapture clouded his brain. How the hell could she want him this much, still be willing to even touch him after what she’d just learned? How could she not blame him for the deaths of his friends? How could this even be taking place?
It’s happening. It feels just like the last time, only better because she is actually trying to seduce me with a completely clear head. It wasn’t happening because she was desperate to forget some tragedy, or because she was escaping. She actually just wanted to . . . please him, lure him into a state of desire. Really, like he needed any encouragement? His dick was always ready for Mara, even when she was doing absolutely nothing to tempt him. All she had to do was smile . . . or fucking breathe, for that matter, and his cock was rock hard.
Shuddering as her palms stroked down his chest and stomach, his breath caught as he felt her tugging insistently at the buttons of his jeans, her ferocious determination to get at his cock the hottest thing he’d ever experienced. Once she had liberated him and he felt her fingers tighten around the shaft, Jared nearly leaped out of his chair. “Bedroom. Now.” If he didn’t get inside her tight heat right now, he was going to embarrass himself right here in the recliner.
“No,” she told him fiercely. “I want to taste you. Here. Now.”
Holy. Fucking. Christ.
Control.
Control.
Control.
His eyes were wild with hunger and dread. His mantra wasn’t working, and his usual mastery over his body and emotions was quickly abandoning him.
It’s her touch.
It’s her strength to move me like no other woman ever has.
Mara was killing him with her willingness to care about him, even after she knew what a bastard he’d been years earlier. Hell, he was still a bastard, but she was still giving herself to him. He knew he didn’t deserve her, but he’d lost the will to resist or regain his all-important control again. Not now. Not with her.
“I won’t last,” he ground out between clenched teeth. There had never been a woman who had wanted to go down on a man his size, and it had never really mattered to him. He got off either way, but this . . . this was different. Oddly, it seemed that Mara actually wanted to do it, like she was dying to taste his cock. It was the most erotic thing he’d ever experienced.
“I don’t care how long you last. I just want you to enjoy it,” she answered earnestly. “You’re so big, Jared. So hard.”
Her husky reply caught him off guard, her adoration clear in her voice. It blasted him straight in the chest that Mara was accepting him exactly the way he was. Correction . . . she actually seemed to like him exactly as he was. Her unconditional acceptance was Jared’s undoing.
The first touch of her mouth on him brought a pleasure so sharp it was almost painful. He tried not to grasp her hair and bury himself in the moist heat between her lips, take everything she was willing to give. He fisted her hair as she left a trail of fire over the head of his cock and started sucking in the large shaft.
Control. I don’t want to hurt her when she’s giving me something no other woman ever has.
It was damn hard not to lose it when she cradled his balls in her soft fingers and stroked them gently, never pausing in her effort to take his cock into her mouth as deeply as possible. Every nerve in Jared’s body was throbbing, begging for relief. Sweat started to trickle down his face as Mara wrapped her hand around the root of him and began to stroke every inch of him with her hand and mouth.
Opening his eyes, he glanced down at the erotic sight of her between his thighs. Her eyes were closed as though she was enjoying every lick and suck, and the carnal vision induced such a visceral reaction that Jared had to close his eyes. His head fell back against the headrest of the recliner, and he gave up the fight.
He relished every stroke of her tongue, every vibration that her moans caused along his member. “Good, sweetheart. So fucking good,” he growled as she sucked harder, started moving faster. He stroked over her scalp rhythmically with his fingers, ignoring the primitive instinct to thrust his hips up. For the first time in his life, he let go completely, trusting her to bring his ecstasy to completion. “Get me off, baby,” he encouraged gutturally. “Suck me harder.”
She responded immediately, increasing her suction and her pace until Jared’s head was ready to blow . . . both of his heads, actually. His hips arched instinctively as the tension in his balls and gut tightened unbearably. “Oh, fuck, yeah,” he groaned. “I’m going to come.”
“Mmmm . . . ,” she moaned around him.
The vibration set him off, and his entire body pulsated as his powerful release pounded through every fiber of his being. “Mara!” He grasped her hair tighter than he meant to, panting as she left him sated and sweating.
Holy. Fucking. Hell.
He opened his eyes and watched as she slowly crawled back up his body, her tongue tracing the muscles in his abs and chest, before she settled carefully back into his lap.
She looked beautiful as she shot him a naughty, sultry look, her hair mussed and her lips moist. Snaking one arm around her waist and the other behind her head, he brought her talented mouth down to his, savoring the taste of himself on her lips as volatile emotions bombarded him.
I need her so damn much.
His heart swelled as she responded to him so sweetly, so automatically that it was difficult for Jared to pull his lips from hers. “You just rocked my world,” he admitted huskily, looking into her sexy, dark eyes. The words were way too mild for the way he was actually feeling, but he didn’t know what else to say.
She lowered her forehead against his and gently stroked back his hair. “Good,” she answered, sounding vulnerable and relieved. “I was afraid I wouldn’t do it the way you usually like it.”
“I don’t like it any particular way. It’s never happened before.” She’d given him something special. She was special. The least he could do was throw away his manly pride and tell her the truth.
Lifting her head, Mara looked at him, astonished. “But you’ve had a lot of women—”
“I’ve fucked a lot of women, Mara. But not a single one of them has ever wanted to go down on me.” Usually, Jared figured they just wanted to get off and collect whatever they could from him. That was the type of woman he usually sought out. They were safe. He knew what to expect, and he knew what he had to give in return. He had no idea exactly what to do with a woman like Mara. “And I haven’t screwed every woman I’ve ever been pictured with. A lot of them are just casual dates for charity functions or acquaintances. Contrary to what a lot of people think, I’m not a total man-whore. I’ve had my fair share of women, but I usually stay far away from women as sweet as you.”
She gave him a puzzled look. “Why? You deserve a woman who cares about you.”
Jared didn’t have an answer, and he stared at Mara darkly. It took him a moment to form a reply. “Maybe I don’t think I deserve that kind of woman.” Subconsciously, he’d probably always sought out exactly what he thought he deserved after being responsible for the deaths of two people.
Kissing him on the forehead gently, she wrapped her arms around his neck. “You do,” she muttered tenderly. “I think you need it, and you’re probably even more entitled to it than a lot of men. You’re special, Jared.”
He stood, taking her with him before lowering her to the floor and sprawling his body on top of hers. “What about you? You deserve so much more than I do. You’ve spent most of your life taking care of other people, ignoring your own needs.” Hell, Mara was the most selfless person he’d ever known, male or female.
Recovering from the change in position quickly, she smiled up at him. “You’re a lot hotter than I am,” she joked, twining her arms around his neck again. “And much too hard to resist.”
Jared swallowed hard as he came to his knees between her thighs and shrugged out of his shirt impatiently, tossing it aside. “If you think that, you aren’t seeing what I’m seeing right now.” Everything about her was impossible to ignore. She was a temptress and an angel. She was wicked and an innocent. Her dark eyes were fathomless, deep whirlpools filled with emotion, and she touched Jared in ways that terrified the hell out of him. She was a temptation beyond his ability to control, and she belonged to him.
Mine.
Evan was right, he needed to claim her completely before someone else did.
“I need you naked. Now.” Possessiveness filled him, and he needed to make her tremble with need for him until she could think of no one else except him.
She didn’t protest as she sat up and he made short work of her clothing, his heart thundering when she was finally sprawled out on the carpet, completely nude.
“Like I said . . . I’m not as hot as you are,” she mumbled, her entire body flushing pink as Jared looked his fill.
“Sweetheart, you have no idea how sexy you really are.” His mouth was dry as his eyes swept over her body lovingly. Her raspberry-colored nipples were hard, the peaks beckoning him. Her ivory skin was flawless, and her curvy body beckoned him to explore every portion of it. “I want to lick every inch of you with my tongue.”
Standing up, he shucked off his jeans and briefs, kicking them to the side impatiently.
“Jared, I—”
“Shhh . . .” He put a finger over her lips as he came back down on top of her. Mara looked embarrassed and beautifully aroused. “I want to taste you as much as you wanted to taste me. Probably more.”
“I haven’t—”
He pressed his finger harder against her lips. “You will. And you’ll be moaning my name while I’m doing it. I need to make you come.” He’d already known that no man had ever had his head between her thighs, and he loved knowing that he’d be the first. No doubt the only thing she’d experienced in the past was a fumbling boy who would let her give him head but offered nothing but an inept screw in return. “Lay back and enjoy it, baby. I know I will.” He couldn’t wait to touch her soft skin, lick her into orgasm. This generous, smart, gorgeous creature in front of him was now his, and he’d make damn sure she was begging for mercy before he was done. He needed her to remember nothing except him from this day forward.
No other man was going to touch her—ever!
She. Belongs. To. Me.
The words repeated in his mind over and over as he began concentrating on making her forget that anyone ever existed before him.
The first touch of his mouth on her made Mara cry out incoherently, her body so ready for Jared that any inhibitions she had were already gone. He looked at her like she was a goddess, his eyes an eddy of pure fire as he gazed at her body. No man had ever looked at her with as much longing as she saw on his face, and it increased her arousal to the point of carnal insanity.
Moaning as his tongue slid between her folds and leisurely licked her pussy from bottom to top, Mara speared her hands through his hair and urged him for more. He parted her thighs wider, taking his time like he was savoring every moment of her arousal. “More, Jared. Please.”
“Patience, sweetheart,” he groaned against her pink flesh. “It will make your orgasm so much more satisfying.”
“I’ll be satisfied now. I swear,” she told him huskily, ready to lose her mind as his tongue brushed her clit lightly and she whimpered. It wasn’t nearly enough.
Mara thought she heard a muffled, low chuckle rumbling out of his mouth, but she was too enthralled by the touch of his tongue to really decipher what was happening. She felt bared, shattered in a way she never had before. Everything he was doing was so much more intimate than anything she’d ever experienced, and her body was trembling with need.
Jared teased, flicking his tongue over the tiny bundle of nerves that were begging for his attention. He provoked, lapping greedily at every inch of her sensitized flesh, spreading her folds with his fingers, exposing her blatantly to him.
“Yes,” she hissed as he finally rolled his hot, wet tongue over her clit with more pressure in a flowing, stroking pattern that had her hips rising off the floor.
Grasping his hair, she writhed desperately, trying to pull him closer, harder. “Don’t stop. Please don’t stop,” she pleaded hoarsely, needing him to keep giving her the pressure she needed to come.
She was close. So very close.
Her climax hit her the moment he thrust two fingers into her sheath, searching for and finding that sensitive area inside her, caressing it with bold strokes while his tongue laved her clit.
“Jared. Oh, God.” Mara’s head thrashed wildly, her orgasm rolling over her with so much power it was almost frightening. She held on to his hair like it was her lifeline, her channel clenching around his fingers with spasm after spasm as she lay there helplessly riding the storm of sensations that overwhelmed her completely.
Her body relaxed slowly, cognitive thought coming back to her as she panted breathlessly on the plush carpet.
“Okay?” Jared asked as he moved up her body, his fingers swiping gently over her face. “Did I hurt you?” His voice was urgent and demanding.
Mara realized that tears had escaped from her eyes and were trickling down her cheeks. “No,” she answered him hurriedly, removing her hands from his hair to dash away her tears. Wrapping her arms around his neck to reassure him, she tugged him down to kiss him tenderly. “I guess I got overwhelmed,” she said as she finally broke the embrace.
“Is that good or bad?” he asked curiously, his intense eyes still watching her face anxiously.
Smoothing his hair away from his forehead, she answered, “Good. So amazing that I couldn’t help crying. I guess I just realized all that I’ve been missing because I haven’t had a guy in my life for so many years.” Mara tried for some levity to lower the intensity between them, knowing that not just any guy would have alleviated her loneliness and set her body on fire. It had to be him. It had to be Jared. “Or maybe I’ve just been waiting for you,” she mused, entranced by the ferocity of his expression.
“You’ve been waiting for me,” he said in a gruff, possessive voice. “I don’t deserve you, Mara, but I need you.”
His tortured look, the emotion in his voice made Mara’s heart ache. This was a part of Jared Sinclair that she knew he never revealed, yet he trusted her with his vulnerability. The one woman he’d loved had thrown his trust aside and stomped on it, and then she’d died, leaving Jared empty, nothing inside him except guilt and grief. “I need you, too.” She sighed softly, knowing she’d just given Jared Sinclair her heart. She’d been fooling herself to think that she could even fight it. From the moment he’d walked into her shop, Jared had been different from every other man she’d ever known, her attraction to him instantaneous. Before, she’d been able to call it lust, a balm for the loneliness she’d felt since her mother’s death. But he was more than that, and she knew it. Beneath his I-don’t-give-a-shit facade was the heart of a sensitive, generous man. An incredible, exceptional man who’d sacrificed so much for others, including his self-worth and belief in himself.
“If you need me, take me then. Take everything you want.” He wrapped his arms around her and lifted her on top of him so she was straddling him.
“I thought you didn’t want it this way,” she squeaked.
“Oh, I want it any way you’ll give it to me, but you can control it, take as much of me as you’re comfortable with. Condom is in my pocket.”
“I asked Sarah to start me on birth control when I went to her office for a checkup,” she told him, feeling suddenly shy. Sarah Baxter, soon-to-be Sarah Sinclair, was officially her physician now. She’d been using Sarah for follow-up care on her injured ankle, and she’d be using her for everything from now on. Mara had asked Sarah to put her on birth control. Maybe she always subconsciously knew that what had happened with Jared was going to happen again. Pragmatically, she’d told herself it was just a precaution, but her heart knew that she and Jared would never stay away from each other if they were working together. Yes, there were other reasons to use the condom, but she wanted him to know that she trusted him. “It was exactly the right time. I’m covered, and I’m clean.”
Jared’s eyes shot to her face, astonished. “You trust me? Granted, my female count isn’t as big as it’s reputed to be, but I’ve fucked a lot of women, Mara. I won’t lie to you about that. But I’ve never had sex unprotected, and I’m free from any diseases. I haven’t been with anyone but you since I was last checked out.”
She nodded slowly. “I trust you. You’ve never given me any reason not to. Just promise me that if you decide to be with somebody else, you’ll tell me.”
His eyes grew dark and he sat up with lightning-fast movements, wrapping his arms around her waist. “There won’t be anyone else. Ever.” Jared’s voice was guttural and deep as he buried his face in her hair.
Mara told herself not to believe what he was saying. Someday there would obviously be other women. He wasn’t staying here forever, and they were in a moment of passion. Nevertheless, her heart started racing from his fervent declaration, wanting so desperately to believe it was true. Gut instinct told her she’d never be with anyone like Jared again. “Then fuck me, Jared. Now. Please.” She’d worry about changes in their relationship when that time came. Nothing in life was guaranteed. For now, this was all about them, and all about Jared healing from some wounds so deep that they hadn’t mended with the passage of time.
His hands moved possessively down her back and cupped her ass, repositioning her to accept his cock. “You need to let me know if I hurt you.”
“You won’t.” Mara gasped as he filled her, but she was still so hot and wet from her climax that he entered her naturally and beautifully, as though they were made to fit together like this.
Jared groaned into her hair, moving a covetous hand down her back while he held her ass in place to accept his thrusts. “You’re so hot, so wet. You feel so damn incredible that I’m not going to last very long.”
Mara smiled as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders, their bodies skin to skin as he stroked into her sheath again and again. The position was intimate, every part of them touching as they flew higher and higher together. She tightened her legs around his waist, luxuriating in the affinity flowing between them, feeling every rapid beat of his heart against her naked flesh every time he thrust and retreated again.
I’m not going to last very long.
What was with his obsession about taking forever to come?
Control.
She knew she was right. The mask he wore was one of complete authority over himself and his actions, rigid restraint probably to make up for his emotional decision that had left him bleeding inside for years.
“I don’t need you to last. I just want you. I need you, Jared. Fuck me harder.” She nipped at the side of his neck, knowing she was daring him to lose his discipline and conditioning, the wall he’d built up around himself for protection. “You feel so good,” she panted into his ear, rotating her hips sensuously, taking his cock deeper with every thrust.
“Can’t. Lose. Control.” His voice was guttural and determined. “Need you to come with me.”
Mara had no doubt she was going to come hard. She was on the edge, her body already shivering with sensation. Being entwined with Jared like this, her hard nipples abrading against the coarse hair on his chest, feeling his hard, hot breath on her neck as he struggled for dominance over his orgasm—every single sensation intoxicated her.
Jared pumped into her harder, as though he couldn’t stop. Mara leaned her head back and closed her eyes, her belly clenching as her climax hit her. “Jared!” She screamed his name as the internal walls of her channel clamped down hard on his cock as though they never wanted to release him.
“Fuck, yeah. Come for me, baby.” Jared grasped her hair and pulled her mouth roughly to his, his tongue spearing through her lips and dominating her, sweeping her away with a reckless abandon that had Mara moaning as she came, squirming to get even closer to him.
“Mine,” Jared groaned as he moved his mouth from hers. “You’re mine, Mara.”
Mara dug her short nails into his back as she milked him of his orgasm, taking everything she could get, feeling as possessive of him as he was of her right now.
My Jared. My sweet, tormented, stubborn man.
Cradling her head against his shoulder, Jared rocked their bodies together, his fingers still gripping her ass. “I knew you were trouble from the minute I saw you,” he muttered huskily with a touch of amusement in his low rumble. “And I was right.”
His voice was teasing, and she smiled against his damp, sweaty chest. “You’re trouble, too. But only in the very best of ways,” she answered breathlessly, mimicking their earlier conversation and savoring the afterglow of her mind-blowing intimacy with Jared for a very long time.