CHAPTER 19
Dante and Sarah had wanted an informal wedding at the Amesport Youth Center, the very place where Dante had saved Sarah’s life, and the building with the biggest ballroom in town. With Grady’s wife, Emily, running the Youth Center, Grady Sinclair had been a huge donor for the refurbishing of the entire building, and what had once served as a recreation hall was now an enormous, beautiful ballroom. It was the venue for both the wedding and the reception.
It was a Sunday, and the Youth Center was closed. Guests had poured in early for the noon wedding, all of them eager to see their new felony detective for the Amesport Police Department get hitched to one of their own local physicians.
Dante’s three handsome and very eligible cousins had arrived, and as Mara peeked out of the area behind the stage and saw all of the Amesport Sinclair brothers and Jason Sutherland speaking with the Sinclair cousins, Micah, Julian, and Xander, her breath caught and refused to move smoothly in and out of her lungs. “Sweet Jesus,” she murmured.
“What is it?” Randi asked quietly from behind her.
“The Sinclair men and Jason Sutherland,” Mara replied, moving aside so Randi could look. Although her eyes had automatically gravitated to Jared, the eight men together were breathtakingly beautiful. Dante, Jared, Grady and Evan were in black tuxedos, and Jason, Micah, Julian, and Xander were in custom-tailored suits.
“Holy hotness,” Randi whispered loudly. “They make this event look like a hot male model convention instead of a wedding.”
“How can eight men, seven of them Sinclairs, be that perfect?” Emily asked as she shoved her way in to look.
“Excellent gene pool,” Sarah whispered, not bothering to look since she’d met the cousins earlier. “It’s almost impossible that at least one of them isn’t a hottie. But the Sinclairs defy conventional wisdom.” She sighed as she adjusted the small wreath of red roses on her head, a trail of fine lace hanging down in the back. Sarah hadn’t wanted a typical bridal veil, telling all of the women with a laugh that she didn’t want her face covered. She’d wanted to see Dante in a tux as clearly as possible for as long as possible.
Sarah was a beautiful bride, and Mara couldn’t wait until Dante got an eyeful of his wife-to-be. Her makeup perfect and her beautiful blonde hair swept up on top of her head in an elegant style, Sarah looked sophisticated and beautiful in her strapless white gown, the skirt covered entirely in pearls and lace. “You look amazing,” Mara told Sarah reverently.
“Thanks. I feel so nervous. There are so many people here.”
Sarah was a genius, but she had shared that she’d always been socially awkward and not particularly good with crowds.
“You won’t notice any of them once you see Dante,” Emily said soothingly. “Weddings go by in a blur. You’ll be married before you know it.”
Sarah moved to smooth down wrinkles in her skirt that were nonexistent. “I wish we would have eloped. Dante and I talked about it, but I think he wanted a reason to have his family here.”
“I think they all miss each other,” Mara contemplated, turning away from her peeping spot to finger the string of pearls around her neck, a bridesmaid gift from Sarah. Thinking about Jared’s admission that he’d built all of the houses on the Peninsula in the hope that his family would all be together again sometime in the future made her eyes tear up.
Don’t cry. Your makeup will run and you’ll look like a raccoon.
Mara had wanted to look as nice as possible for Sarah’s wedding pictures, and she’d let Randi do her makeup much heavier than she would have done herself.
“Stop ogling my male relatives. It’s nauseating.” Hope spoke from the other side of the small room. She was sitting in a chair waiting until the ceremony was about to begin before taking her place, nibbling saltine crackers because her morning sickness hadn’t quite ceased for the day yet.
Mara thought Hope looked a little better than she had an hour or so ago, when she’d been positively green. “Are you okay, Hope? Jason is still out there talking to your brothers. I can go get him for you.”
“Don’t you dare!” Hope shot her a warning glance. “I love him dearly, but if he hauls me back to bed one more time because he thinks I’m sick, I’m going to kill him.” She nibbled a little more on a cracker and put a hand to her belly. “It’s subsiding now. If I thought Jason would take me to bed for any other reason, I’d have you getting him for me immediately. He acts like I’m as fragile as blown glass because I’m pregnant.”
Mara smiled at Hope’s disgruntled expression. “He’s an amazing guy.”
“Yep. Now he’s completely drool-worthy. I still can’t believe he’s mine.” She paused before asking quietly, “So will I be coming back to Amesport for Jared’s wedding soon?”
“Jared?”
“You and Jared,” Hope clarified. “Are you guys going to bring me back here again before I move permanently? I really wouldn’t mind. I don’t think my morning sickness will last that much longer.” Hope’s voice was hopeful as she spoke about the possibility of coming to Jared’s wedding.
Mara’s heart skittered. “No. It’s not like that. Jared and I are just . . .” What the hell were they doing? “Seeing each other,” she concluded. “Jared said he doesn’t really believe in love.”
Hope snorted, nearly choking on her cracker. Sarah, Kristin, Randi, and Emily chortled along with her. “Uh-huh. He so completely looked like he wasn’t in love when he hightailed it out of Grady’s house last night carrying you like he was afraid you wouldn’t go with him if he didn’t.”
“He hasn’t had the best of luck with women.”
“His college girlfriend?” Hope asked curiously. “Evan answered more of our questions after you two left last night. Jared did have it rough, but I don’t think he’s really given up on love. It’s not that easy, although he’d like to think it is. To tell you the truth, he was always the most sensitive of all of my brothers. I wish I would have known. I hate that he was hurting and none of us knew except Evan. I love my oldest brother, but he isn’t the most compassionate man in a situation like that.”
“I think it helped that Selena’s mother finally took the blame off Jared’s shoulders. And I think Evan helped a lot in his own way.” Mara wasn’t going to reveal any information about how low Jared had sunk, and she didn’t think Evan would reveal those secrets, either.
“I’m worried about Evan,” Hope confessed. “He just seems so . . . alone.”
Mara thought Evan was probably the loneliest man alive, even though he was surrounded by people most of the time. “He doesn’t date?”
Hope’s face scrunched up in a look of concentration. “Honestly, I can’t remember him even dating one woman in his past. And he’s never been seen with anyone for as long as I can remember, unlike Jared. Evan goes everywhere alone.”
“Maybe there are just some men who are happier alone,” Kristin said soberly from her seat beside Hope, her ankle propped on a chair.
Randi nodded. “I’m happier alone. I know that for a fact.”
Mara watched as Sarah, Hope, and Emily shook their heads slowly. Hope finally spoke. “I don’t think he’s happy being alone. I think he lives his life that way for some reason.”
“I think you’re right,” Mara whispered under her breath, hoping that Evan Sinclair found the right woman to break the heavy layers of ice that surrounded him. It was going to take an extraordinary female to accomplish that task.
“He’ll find somebody someday,” Hope declared optimistically.
Mara hoped that Evan’s sister was right as the wedding planner entered the room to hurry them all out to take their places to walk up the aisle.
The wedding was beautiful, and Mara knew her mascara was smudged after the ceremony. Just watching Dante and Sarah face each other, the look of love so clearly on both of their faces as they spoke their vows, made Mara start to weep.
She’d felt Jared’s eyes on her several times during the ceremony, no doubt checking out the plunging neckline on the beautiful black tea-length dress each of the bridesmaids had worn for the ceremony. It wasn’t like he hadn’t seen her before she’d left the house, and even though he’d made it very clear how beautiful he thought she looked, he hadn’t been crazy about the daring neckline.
Mara smiled at herself in the bathroom mirror as she gently wiped the dark smudges from under her eyes. Jared had been perfectly fine with her wearing the dress for him, but he had told her he’d be distracted during the whole ceremony and reception, declaring himself her personal wardrobe watcher to make sure her breasts didn’t pop out of her dress.
Tossing the damp tissue into the trash, she tugged on the scraps of material that covered her cleavage. She hadn’t popped out. Not once. Granted, the top portion was a little bit narrow. Running short on time, she’d concentrated on making certain the waist fit properly and hadn’t bothered with the neckline. Kristin was slightly smaller busted than she was, but not that much.
She smoothed on a little more lipstick and put the container back in the tiny black clutch purse she was carrying. At some point during the ceremony, she must have been chewing on her bottom lip, because most of the color was gone.
Probably while I was drooling over Jared in a tux.
It had been hard not to look at Jared when he’d been standing directly across from her in black formal wear as casually as he did wearing a pair of jeans, not looking the least bit uncomfortable.
He’s a billionaire.
No doubt he dressed that way often. But damn, he could rock a tuxedo . . . or anything else he chose to wear. She guessed that’s the way it was when he’d been brought up wearing fine clothes, attending social occasions of the very wealthy.
Taking one last look at herself, Mara sighed. She’d pretty much given up wondering if Jared wanted her, but she hadn’t quite stopped wondering why. She wasn’t ugly, but she wasn’t a bombshell, either.
Enjoy it. Who cares why? He’s not faking his interest or his desire. Let him keep making you feel like a goddess. It feels good. You’ve been lost and lonely since your mom died. Jared makes you feel loved, even if he hasn’t said the words.
Jared Sinclair had changed her life in ways she never could have imagined. Her loneliness was gone, and being a part of Sarah’s wedding and the Sinclair family was amazing. She missed having family, somebody she could talk to when everything in the world seemed bleak.
You have Jared now.
Mara knew how much Jared had altered her life, and she tried not to contemplate where she would have been right now had he not appeared to help her, to be her confidant and her lover.
She felt different.
She was different.
And feeling this way was damn fabulous.
She refused to sabotage herself with negative emotions. So what if Jared didn’t believe in love? He cared about her. What did it matter what he called those emotions? People said the words all the time and didn’t mean them. Jared’s actions, the way he treated her was the most important thing.
I want to stop needing to hear the words.
Turning away from the mirror, she decided she was just going to be grateful to have Jared in her life and stop questioning the way he felt about her. She wasn’t sure where everything was going between them, but she had a fantastic start to her business. Her life was changing in positive ways. And she had a man who was supportive of her dreams, and who wanted her desperately. Mara wanted to enjoy her good fortune instead of analyzing it to death.
After leaving the restroom, she looked around the crowded ballroom, her eyes automatically seeking out Jared. She saw him almost immediately even though the big room was crowded, his back to her, sitting at a table with his brothers and Jason Sutherland while they waited for the sumptuous buffet to open.
Dodging bodies to make her way across the room, she was stopped when a hand curled around her upper arm, ceasing her forward progress.
“Your aura is almost fixed, honey.” Dressed smartly in a purple dress and matching shoes, Beatrice smiled at Mara.
“Is it?” Mara smiled at the elderly woman fondly.
“Yes. That man of yours is looking good, too . . . in more ways than one. I’m liking his aura now. Something positive happened to him,” she said sharply. “He’s nearly healed.”
Mara wanted to tell Beatrice that Jared was never sick, but she knew it wasn’t true. His entire emotional being had been injured, and he’d been stuck. “I’m glad. But he isn’t exactly my man, Beatrice.”
“He will be,” the older woman answered slyly. “I’m glad you’re not lonely anymore. A sweet girl like you shouldn’t be so alone.”
Oh, God. I hope Jared will be mine forever someday. I might keep telling myself not to expect it, but I can’t help wanting it to happen.
She hugged Beatrice tightly, smiling even broader because she’d referred to her as a sweet girl. She was hardly a girl, and she wasn’t all that sweet, but she knew it was the older woman’s term of affection. “I’m glad, too,” she whispered quietly.
Beatrice patted her shoulder. “I’m off to find Elsie. If she drinks too much champagne, she gets wild.”
“Oh, I won’t keep you then,” Mara answered, biting into her fresh lipstick to keep from having images of an eighty-something-year-old woman dancing on tables from too much champagne.
Beatrice wiggled her fingers in good-bye as she turned to go find her friend.
Mara giggled when Beatrice was out of hearing range, and continued on her trek across the crowded room toward Jared. She’d known Elsie and Beatrice most of her life, and she adored both of the quirky women.
Finally, she halted, unable to get past a bulky older man to reach Jared. She hesitated as she heard her name mentioned, unsure if she should intrude on a conversation about her.
“I have to tell Mara,” Jared said irritably. “I just don’t know how. She cares about me now. We have a business together. How do I tell her that I bought her house, that I was planning on getting her evicted from that home as quickly as possible?”
Mara’s heart clenched. Jared was the buyer for her house? Jared had purchased her home and was going to have her thrown out on the streets?
“You need to just tell her. She’ll find out eventually. There’s a fire investigation happening now, but she’s going to know once you start building it up again for investment property,” Jason told him calmly. “I assume that’s why you bought it. It’s prime real estate in a coastal town with an old home sitting on it. You got a good price, right?”
“Yes,” Jared said angrily.
Oh, my God. He just wanted my home. He felt sorry for me because I was going to be displaced, but his primary motive from the beginning was to get that house. It belonged to a Sinclair at one time. That’s why he was interested in the property history, his family history. Bastard! And I helped him find out everything he wanted to know.
No wonder he’d helped her, wanted to help her start a business. He’d felt guilty. Remorse was a weakness for him. He’d proven that over and over by never forgiving himself for Selena’s and Alan’s deaths.
He pities me.
“He never really cared about me,” she whispered, horrified that she’d let him help her just to nullify his guilt.
She cares about me now. His voice, those words kept echoing in her mind. She’d told him she loved him, and now he was worried about how to break things off without hurting her. His desire had been real; he couldn’t fake that. But he really didn’t love her. He felt sorry for her.
Mara started to hyperventilate just as the man in front of her stepped aside and her eyes met the icy stare of Evan Sinclair.
“Mara,” Evan drawled, probably to stop the men from talking.
She shook her head, wanting to be in denial about Jared’s betrayal, but she couldn’t.
Don’t make a scene. This is Sarah’s wedding. It’s her day.
Struggling to breathe, tears starting to trickle unchecked down her face, Mara did the only thing she could do. Her heart feeling like it was being torn from her chest, she bit back a sob and fled.