EIGHT
Bryn
“I agree,” Trent said with a firm nod. “But something needs to be done with regard to Sinjin’s decisions which are threatening all of us.”
“My decisions?” Sinjin asked with a chuckle as he faced the idiot. I couldn’t say I cared much for Trent. Well, if the truth be told, I didn’t really care much for anyone inside the room, aside from my sister, Mathilda, Rand, and maybe Sinjin … That all depended on his behavior.
“Yes,” Trent insisted. “We are all members of the queen’s counsel,” he started as he glanced around the room, addressing each person before his attention centered on Sinjin alone. “And, therefore, we should all be able to weigh in on any decisions. It’s better than you getting a wild hair up your ass and going on a mission that endangers all of us.”
“My mission was a private one,” Sinjin responded, and anger began to taint his voice. “And it had nothing to do with any of you.”
“It had everything to do with all of us! We’re in this spot now because of you,” Trent argued as he glared at Sinjin, his voice growing louder.
“What’s done is done,” Jolie tried to interrupt, but her voice was drowned out by Varick’s.
“I agree with the wolf,” the uptight vampire announced.
Jolie didn’t even spare him a glance. “This is all beside the point, because Sinjin had my permission to fulfill his mission.”
“And that is enough for all of you to button your lips,” Mercedes announced as she glared at everyone in turn. “Our queen gave her permission, which ends the conversation right there.”
“Aye,” Odran said with a brief nod. Seeing the expression on Trent’s face, he wasn’t finished yet.
“I understand,” he said when he faced Jolie. “But I still have a question for Sinjin.” He addressed the vampire who didn’t look the worse for wear. “What prompted you to go to one of Luce’s compounds by yourself in the first place?”
“None of your business,” Sinjin responded icily as he tapped his fingers against his thigh impatiently.
“That’s not good enough,” Trent said, turning to Jolie. “If you expect us to feel like we are all equals on this panel, you can’t let Sinjin make critical decisions that affect us. We should all be informed of any insane plans he happens to be making. Then, if you still approve and give your permission, so be it. But we should all have the opportunity to discuss it first.”
“And you shouldn’t address your queen with such disrespect,” Rand spat back at Trent.
“Sinjin’s business was entirely his own,” Jolie spoke up, narrowing her eyes as she looked at everyone in turn. “And I gave him my blessing. That’s all any of you need to know.”
“Then you were aware that Sinjin was planning to attack Luce?” Varick inquired.
“Well, no, not exactly,” Jolie answered as she shifted uncomfortably.
“Well, then? What the bloody hell did you think he was going there for?” Trent nearly yelled at her.
“Trent!” Mercedes roared at him.
He nodded at her and spoke to Jolie again, this time lowering his voice. “And how could you sanction something if you didn’t know what was involved?”
“Again, if you can’t address our queen with the proper respect and protocol she’s due, I’ll have to escort you out,” Rand cautioned Trent. “Consider this your last warning.”
“My reasons for going do not concern any of you,” Sinjin responded stonily. “But if they had, I would have gladly informed you of my plans.”
I was grateful for his response. He was clearly guarding his reasons for going to the camp—those being to avenge me. As far as I knew, only Jolie, Rand, Mathilda, and Sinjin knew what happened to me at Luce’s camp. And that was just as well. I didn’t want that information splattered across the evening news.
“Your plans had everything to do with your own fame and glory,” Trent spat back at him.
“That isn’t true!” I started, suddenly prompted to jump to Sinjin’s defense. These assholes didn’t know the whole story, so it wasn’t fair for them to accuse him of something they knew nothing about. As everyone’s eyes settled on me, I felt like the room was suddenly closing in. I cleared my throat and took a deep breath.
“But unfortunately for you, you weren’t strong enough to defeat Luce on your own,” Trent continued, ignoring me and narrowing his eyes at Sinjin.
“Fame and glory had nothing to do with it,” Sinjin started before I interrupted him. I knew this conversation would just continue to go round and round in circles until I stopped it.
“Sinjin went to Luce’s camp to avenge me!” I railed back at Trent. Now I only wanted him to shut the hell up.
Trent immediately frowned at me and bit his lip, which was more than I could have asked for. I sighed as I glared at him.
“Explain,” Varick said.
“You do not have to explain anything, pet,” Sinjin whispered from where he stood beside me. “This is exclusively your business, and it should remain that way.”
“No,” I said, holding my hand up to quiet Sinjin. I’d already decided the only way everyone in this room would shut up was if they didn’t view Sinjin as the enemy. And the only way that could happen was if they knew the reason why he went after Luce in the first place.
“What then?” Trent demanded, staring at me impatiently.
“Sinjin intended to avenge me,” I started as I inhaled deeply. I prayed my words wouldn’t falter.
“Avenge ye? From whit?” Odran asked.
I dropped my gaze to Mathilda who stood beside him, and her sweet, placid expression somehow gave me the strength I was woefully lacking. She nodded slightly and I nodded back at her.
“From everything that happened to me at the hands of Luce and his minions,” I finished.
Bryn? Jolie’s voice sounded in my head as I turned to face her. There was visible concern in her eyes. You don’t have to do this.
I know, I answered, but I shook my head anyway because I did have to do this. If I don’t tell them what happened, they won’t understand. They’ll just continue to paint Sinjin and you as the bad guys. And that’s not what we need right now.
I’m the queen, Bryn, I can end this conversation now.
I know, but I don’t like seeing anyone doubting you. And if they don’t know the full situation, they will continue to doubt all of your decisions. That’s the last thing you need, especially now, in the wake of whatever retaliation Luce is planning.
I faced Trent again. “When I was a prisoner at the camp, Luce forced me to become a Breeder,” I started.
“What is that?” he asked, crossing his arms over his chest and regarding me coolly.
I swallowed hard as soon as I realized I’d have to explain all of this, and it still made me cringe.
“Breeders are women who are relegated to doing just that—breeding,” Sinjin answered for me. I turned to face him with a grateful smile to which he just nodded before turning back to Trent, and his jaw tightened.
“You mean,” Trent started, but he quickly swallowed his words as if they were so despicable, he couldn’t even repeat them.
“Yes, that’s what Sinjin means,” I answered him, none too gently. “I was repeatedly raped by nearly all of the men at the compound in their futile attempts to make me pregnant by one of them.”
I watched my sister’s face fall as she glanced down at the ground. There was heaviness in her eyes that wasn’t there before. Clearly, this information was not easy for her to hear. It was even harder for me to tell; but somehow, I managed to separate myself from the reality and what happened to me. Somehow, the words fell off my tongue without me feeling much of anything.
“Ay’m sorry,” Odran said, his voice lowering. He couldn’t meet my eyes.
“So Sinjin avenged me,” I continued. I didn’t want his or anyone else’s pity. I despised pity. It couldn’t do anything for me; it was a useless emotion. “He searched for all the men who tortured and used me and he killed them.”
“Well, that is not entirely accurate,” Sinjin interjected. “Unfortunately, I failed to dispose of all of them,” he continued. “I failed to achieve my mission.”
“That doesn’t matter,” I said before turning to the others again. “So when Sinjin said it wasn’t a matter that concerned any of you, that’s why. He was protecting me because it was and is my business and mine alone.”
“I do not believe Sinjin’s reasoning was sound,” Mercedes suddenly interjected, and I burned her with my heated gaze. Her dislike for me could not have been more obvious. She seemed to be the only one there who couldn’t forgive me for my past. “But, again, all of us must remember that we are not here to challenge the queen’s decisions.”
“Very good,” Jolie answered with a swift nod and a smile. I couldn’t help noticing that she was the only one who would look at me.
Well, she was the only one except for Sinjin …
His gaze felt hot against my skin. The way he scanned my body and rested his eyes on my lips made me squirm, if not on the outside, then definitely on the inside. And now, the entire room was staring at us, waiting for someone to say something—I had to address the huge elephant I just deposited on their doorsteps.
But I was done telling my story. I was done talking period.
Jolie turned to the group and put up her hand. “Now that you know the truth, I want to move on. But not before making something very clear. This is not Sinjin’s fault, and whatever happens, he cannot be to blame.”
Rand immediately faced his wife, and surprise and maybe a bit of jealousy clouded his eyes, but they softened the moment he saw the concern on her face. It wasn’t a secret that Rand didn’t approve of Jolie’s affection for Sinjin.
“Furthermore,” she continued, “in his quest to avenge my sister, Sinjin managed to do the impossible. He wounded Luce in such a way that Luce’s magic will forever be impaired. Sinjin did us all a favor,” she finished. She looked at Sinjin with a mixture of admiration and gratitude. “And we also have the gift of foresight through my sister, which will enable us to protect ourselves against any threat to the kingdom.”
Odran stepped forward and raised his hand. “If Ah may, yer majesty?” Jolie nodded, and he continued. “Shall we extract everyone from the kingdom? Since we dinnae know when that wretched man might strike oos agin?”
“And should we make an announcement to all of our people that we need more recruits?” Trent asked. “We should probably start assembling an army?”
“I don’t believe it would behoove us to alarm everyone right now,” Mercedes said as she faced Jolie, who nodded. “This information is still very much in its infancy.”
“Let’s not make any fast moves just yet,” Jolie responded. “Doing so would just raise a panic that we don’t need right now. I don’t want word of this getting out until we can devise a plan on how to deal with it.”
“We should increase security around the clock,” Rand said, and Jolie nodded.
Odran bowed once as Jolie continued. “Sinjin and Klaasje, you will increase the security surrounding Kinloch.”
“Yes, of course, my queen,” Sinjin answered as Klaasje nodded.
Jolie turned her attention to Mathilda. “Can you test the strength of the wards around Kinloch to make sure the perimeter can’t be breached?”
“Of course.”
Klaasje nodded, and my attention returned to my sister. She faced Rand and ran her fingers down his arm. “We will meet again and discuss how to break this news to our people.”
Rand leaned forward and kissed her cheek. The way he supported his wife always amazed me. The love they had was so rare, and they could always count on each other, which was even rarer. Whenever I watched them, I was struck by their relationship, which I adored and secretly envied. While it pained me at times, I long ago accepted that I wasn’t like my sister. Love and lasting relationships weren’t included in my future. And while there was a part of me that bemoaned that sad fact, another part of me was okay with it. I was aloof, and numb even. And that was what I needed to focus on if I intended to reinforce and eventually defeat the emotional, useless side of me.
“We meet again in two nights’ time,” Rand said to the whole room. “Here, in this room. Eight p.m. sharp.”
Everyone nodded. But my sister still didn’t seem content. Instead, she stared at me while chewing the inside of her lip like she always did when she was lost in deep concentration. Finally, she spoke.
“Earlier, Mathilda told me it was possible for you to relive your vision,” she said with some hesitation. My entire stomach sank to the floor as soon as her words registered.
“What do you mean?” I demanded.
Mathilda faced Mercedes, who nodded slowly, her pensive expression revealing that she was considering something and weighing it. Mercedes took a big breath and turned to me. “It is possible for you to relive your vision with the aid of magic.”
“No,” I said and immediately gulped down the acid that climbed up my throat. Mathilda stepped toward me and rested her hand on my arm, instantly calming me with her fae magic.
But I remained steadfast. There was no way I could do that! I couldn’t relive the most horrible day of my life. Even though it hadn’t happened yet, it was a vision so real, it felt as bad as if I had actually experienced it. Experiencing it once was more than enough. I couldn’t contemplate going through it all again. “I can’t.”
“It’s the only way to ensure we haven’t missed anything,” Mathilda said softly. She raised her finger to her mouth and tapped her lip as she studied me.
“What if there is something within your vision that you may have overlooked? Something that could possibly save the lives of our people?” Mercedes asked me. “We must first know that we’ve exhausted any and all possibilities.”
“They are right, Bryn,” Jolie agreed. “We need to pinpoint when this attack is due to happen. Right now, we don’t know enough—we don’t even know what season it’s supposed to occur in!”
I couldn’t argue her point. That was mainly because I couldn’t remember the particulars of the vision, only the ugliness, the pain, and the suffering. Frustrated, I glanced from my sister to Mathilda and then back to Sinjin. He just stood quietly, watching the events unfold. I had no idea about what he was thinking, as usual.
“And how do you propose I do this?” I finally asked. The thought of diving back into the atrocious vision was weighing heavily on me. I suddenly felt exhausted; no, far beyond exhausted.
“We, child, not you,” Mathilda corrected me.
“Fae magic?” I asked with a sigh.
“Yes, with Mercedes’s help,” Mathilda answered.
I looked at my sister, suddenly ill-at-ease. It was no secret that Mercedes hated me. I saw it in the way she looked at me—with complete suspicion and distrust. Even now, that expression hadn’t gone away. She was and probably always would be convinced of my undying allegiance to Luce. The last thing I wanted was to rely on Mercedes for anything.
I don’t trust her, I thought the words in my head so Jolie could hear me. She hates me. You know that.
She doesn’t hate you, Jolie responded. She’s just suspicious by nature. But she’s also extremely powerful, and she would be a huge help to us to have her there. Especially if something goes wrong …
I sighed as I realized there was no way out of this. Okay.
“Mercedes will help us,” Jolie announced with a triumphant smile. “I want to be there too.”
Mathilda, Sinjin, Rand, and I all spoke at the same time, and each of our outbursts was a snappy retort. The thought of my sister traversing my mind while I revisited the awful vision made me more than uncomfortable. I would never want her to see what I saw. The way Luce killed Rand and the princess was merciless and cruel …
Are you crazy? I asked her through our mind connection. There is no way I’m going to let you do this!
No, I’m not crazy, she responded icily. I just don’t think it’s right of me to ask you to do that without offering to do it with you, she responded. This is the fate of my kingdom that we’re talking about! My people. My family. It isn’t right for me to sit and watch from the sidelines.
You are the queen, I reminded her. And it is our duty to protect you.
I will be protected. Nothing can happen to me.
Once you see what I saw, you won’t be the same again, I insisted.
Then she faced the others. “As this is my kingdom, if I’m to protect everyone, I have to know what we are up against.”
“Yes, but you don’t have to witness what I saw in order to do that,” I argued. “And, furthermore, you shouldn’t.” I turned to Rand. “Tell her!”
He swallowed and nodded as he addressed his wife. “Jolie, please trust your sister. She’s only looking out for you.”
But she shook her head in that stubborn way of hers. “I need to understand what we are up against, and the only way I will know that is to see it the way Bryn did.”
“I do not trust Luce,” Mercedes suddenly piped up. “For all we know, he put the vision into Bryn’s mind and orchestrated whatever she saw.”
Jolie worried her lower lip as I shook my head. I knew this vision was my own. But it wasn’t like I could insist on it, because Luce was so damn powerful. He could have implanted something like it into my subconscious. Even though I doubted that sincerely in my heart of hearts, it wasn’t a sound enough argument.
Jolie took a deep breath as she faced me. “What if the vision was something Luce sent to you, Bryn?”
“He could have done it to throw us off,” Mercedes agreed.
“He could have plans to attack us much sooner, all the while knowing that we’re expecting to have months to prepare,” Trent piped up.
“He’s that conniving, wouldn’t you agree?” Jolie asked me.
I thought about her comment. Luce had plenty of access to my thoughts in the past, and although we placed wards around me and I was doing my best to keep interlopers out of my head, he still had the power and know-how to create any kind of chaos he wanted to inside my mind. But there was something within me that rebelled at the thought. Something that insisted I was and always had been strong enough to keep him out.
And then I remembered the man from my dreams who appeared to me in the forest. I recalled what he said about strengthening my powers against Luce, by keeping him out of my mind …
“I don’t think it’s Luce,” I said finally. “I mean, yes, he has accessed my thoughts in the past and is strong enough to do it now; but always before, I knew when he attempted to tamper with my mind. And I haven’t felt anything like that recently.” I was quiet for a few seconds. “I honestly believe that Luce had nothing to do with it.”
“But you don’t know for certain,” Mercedes argued.
“No, I don’t,” I said with a shrug, figuring there was no point in arguing.
“But her feelings about it are good enough for me,” Jolie argued. “Bryn knows Luce better than any of us do. And if she believes that this vision has nothing to do with him, I suggest we have no other choice than to agree with her.”
“Thank you,” I started, but my sister wasn’t finished yet.
“And it is for that reason that I’m comfortable in sharing the vision with Bryn.”
“Mathilda,” I turned toward the older fae woman, searching for someone whom Jolie respected who could talk her out of this lunacy. “Please tell Jolie that this is a terrible idea. If my vision were planted by Luce, then this is a dangerous mission.”
“But it wasn’t planted by Luce,” Jolie argued.
Mathilda took Jolie’s hand and mine. Her face was serious yet loving and soft. Her faded green eyes scanned each of us as if we were her own children. After a few minutes, she turned to me and said, “Jolie is your twin, Bryn. Who better than your own twin to share your vision? Together, you both can search for anything that might have been left behind, clues that perhaps you failed to pick up yourself.”
“But,” I started.
“You know that the two of you are stronger than each of you alone,” Mathilda finished. Smiling, she squeezed my hand before she turned her attention to Jolie. “And there is something you need to know, my queen.”
“What?” Jolie asked.
“What Bryn saw is something that will haunt you forever, just as she says.”
“I understand that,” Jolie said.
“But there is more, child. If you lack control of your own emotions whilst you are in the visionary state, you could become lost in her mind.”
“And if that happens, it will be up to you to pull yourself out of it,” Mercedes added. “Bryn won’t be able to help you.”
“That’s why this is a terrible idea,” I said with a frown. “And that’s also why both of you should be talking her out of it!”
“Jolie, your sister is right,” Rand said softly as he tilted her chin up and forced her to look him in the eyes. “I don’t want you to do this. Not if it’s going to endanger you.”
Jolie was quiet for a few seconds as she chewed on her lower lip. She glanced from Rand, to Matilda, and then me. “I know the dangers. And I also know the harsher danger of what the outcome might be if we don’t pick apart this vision and find out what clues we need to know,” she answered with finality.
“Jolie,” Rand said, but she shook her head.
“It’s settled then,” she said as she turned to face Mathilda and Mercedes. “How much time will you need to prepare?”
“I need at least a few days,” Mercedes responded.
Mathilda just nodded her agreement.
“Then we will plan for four days’ time just to be safe?” Jolie asked them. “And then we will travel into the visionary state,” she finished as she faced everyone in attendance. Then she turned toward me. “And together, we’ll scour the vision to see if we missed anything.”
There was no changing my sister’s mind. But I wasn’t finished trying. I reached out to her through our mind connection.
If Luce had been the one to plant the vision, it’s probably a trap. And if it’s a trap, what happens if we both get caught by it?
She gave me a kind grin. Then I suspect my warrior sister will protect us and bring us out safely.
I glanced at Sinjin as I shook my head. His dead expression told me, without a doubt, that he was against the plan. And so was I. “Aren’t you going to say anything?” I demanded.
“There is nothing left to say, my dear,” he answered. “Your sister, the queen, has declared her orders. Who am I to question them?”