FIVE
Bryn
“Who are you?” I asked, my voice sounding breathy and hoarse. There was something very familiar about the man standing in front of me—something that I saw in his eyes—they were so kind, yet also strong in their amber depths. He was definitely handsome: an angular face, a strong jaw, and large eyes. His hair was the same color as his eyes—like warm honey. He was probably around thirty, if I had to guess.
“You must guard yourself,” he whispered, and his voice was deep and sultry.
“Guard myself?” I repeated with a frown, but then I figured he meant I should guard myself against the disc that nearly collided with my head. I threw my hands on my hips and scowled at him. I wasn’t sure why I wasn’t afraid of him, knowing that we were alone in the forest. “I would have done a better job if you hadn’t interrupted me.” I kept my feet shoulder width apart in a fighting stance. Gripping the boomerang tightly between my thumb and forefinger, I prepared to launch it at the stranger if he made a wrong move. “Speaking of which, who are you and what do you want?”
“Guard your mind, Bryn,” he responded coolly, without making any indication of approaching me. He continued to stand there, towering over me with his impressive height. His build was equally striking—broad shoulders that tapered down to a narrowed waist and long, well-shaped legs. He was wearing dark pants with a white cotton, long-sleeved thermal jersey that failed to hide the outline of his pecs, biceps, and muscular forearms. Despite his casual dress, for some reason, I got the feeling he was anything but casual.
“How do you know my name?” I demanded as I continued to study him. I was anxiously waiting for my mind to kick in and inform me why he seemed so familiar. “Who are you?”
“Luce is powerful,” the man replied, completely ignoring my questions. It seemed as if he’d never heard me even ask them in the first place. “You must guard yourself against him. Don’t let him in.”
“How do you know about Luce?” I asked, taking a step closer to him as I lifted the boomerang slightly. I wanted him to see that I was armed and not afraid to use it. “Who are you? And don’t make me ask you again.”
“You know who I am,” he answered with little interest. “And you know I’m a friend not a foe.”
“Then why won’t you tell me your name?”
“You will learn it soon enough,” he answered, a secretive smile pulling up the corners of his mouth to reveal white, straight teeth. Yeah, this guy was hot and then some. But that didn’t mean he wasn’t out to kill me. Hot didn’t mean anything substantial or significant in my book. Then again, he didn’t look like he wanted to kill me …
“What does that mean?” I demanded, my heart rate rapidly increasing. I doubted that his refusal to answer any of my questions could be a good sign.
“None of that matters right now,” he retorted, the smile dropping off his face. “What does matter is this: you need to buffer your magic. Your aura is much weaker than it should be.”
“My aura?”
“Tone the muscles of your magic, Bryn. Reinforce the barrier between you and Luce, because he’s searching for you.”
I shook my head. “How do you know that?”
“Bryn!” a female voiced called out from behind me, startling me and making me jump.
“Damn it, Betta!” I yelled as soon as I wheeled around and recognized her. “You should know better than to sneak up on me when I’m training!”
“Sorry,” she answered with a little, embarrassed smile. “Who were you talking to?”
That was when I remembered I wasn’t alone. I turned back around to face the man but saw nothing except the trees. He was gone! I immediately looked to my left and then to my right, trying to see if I could find him hastily retreating into the foliage, but there was nothing. He might as well have never been there at all—like a ghost or something.
“I,” I started but slowly shook my head as I wondered if I just imagined the whole encounter. But, no, I was sure I didn’t. I couldn’t have!
“What are you doing out here?” Betta asked, switching my confused mind back to her.
“I … uh … I was training,” I replied, glancing down at the ground and shaking my head, still wondering how the man could just vanish into thin air. And how did he know about Luce? And how could he see my aura? What did he mean by saying I needed to buffer it? Who the hell was this man?
“Oh, sorry,” Betta said, reminding me that she was still there.
My mind, however, was not on her. No, I was still trying to unravel the mystery of the stranger. And then, like an ice pick straight through my ears, it dawned on me.
“He’s the man in my dreams,” I whispered out loud, even though I didn’t mean to.
“What?” Betta asked.
I shook my head and brought my wide-eyed gaze to hers. “It was the man in my dreams,” I said again, mystified and shocked at the realization. How could that even be possible? That man was no more than a figment of my imagination, something created by my subconscious, sleeping self to soothe me during my challenging teen years.
“What man of your dreams?” Betta repeated, frowning at me. “Who are you talking about?”
“The man that was just here,” I responded absentmindedly. The mystery was uppermost in my thoughts. How could a figment of my imagination actually have been standing not five feet from me? And having a conversation with me?
“There wasn’t anyone here with you,” Betta said, looking concerned.
I felt my eyes narrowing as I glared at her. “What are you talking about?” I nearly yelled at her. “The man that I was talking to before you interrupted me!”
She nodded. “Yeah, I heard you the first time,” she replied. “And I’m sorry to tell you but there wasn’t anyone here with you.” She took a quick breath. “That’s why I asked you who you were talking to.”
I didn’t know what to think. And the longer I thought about it, the more convinced I became that I was hallucinating and (hopefully) not losing my mind.
But he was so real! I argued with my inner self.
“Are you sure?” I asked as I faced Betta again. “You’re sure there wasn’t anyone standing right here? Maybe he was already hidden in the trees by the time you got here?”
“No, Bryn,” Betta said, and her visible concern was deepening the creases in her forehead. “I saw you standing here talking to no one. No one left, and no one was in the forest. You were here all by your yourself.”
He wasn’t real?
“I don’t understand,” I said as I turned around and searched the line of the trees. If I could have I would have gone down on my knees and started begging them to explain what just happened. Had I really only imagined him?
“It’s okay,” Betta said as she took a step nearer to me. “You’ve been under a lot of stress lately,” she continued, but I shook my head.
“Please don’t tell anyone about this,” I requested.
“I won’t.”
“I mean it, Betta, I’m taking you at your word. Promise me you won’t mention this to anyone.”
I was scared to death what could happen if it got out. If people heard I was hallucinating and seeing random men in the woods, everyone would think I’d lost my mind. As it was, I couldn’t be sure that wasn’t the case …
“You have my word, Bryn,” Betta said.
I nodded my thanks and took a deep breath as I tried to shelve the last three minutes of my life. Instead, I tried very hard to pay attention to Betta. “What do you want?” I knew my voice was a tad short, but I needed to be training right now more than anything else. I needed to get out all the pent-up energy that was making me see things that weren’t really there.
“I wanted to check on you.” She took a few steps toward me and smiled more broadly. “So tell me about the person you thought you were talking to?”
“There was no one,” I answered while inwardly cursing Betta. She was as nosy as ever. Couldn’t a girl keep her own neurosis to herself? Wiping off the sweat on my forehead, I placed my hands on my hips and narrowed my eyes at her. “Why did you come out to check on me?”
“The queen said you got upset and took off by yourself,” she shrugged. “We were both worried about you so I decided to investigate because I’m a good friend.” She smiled again as if that were welcome information. It wasn’t. “She’s worried about you, Bryn.”
“Why? There’s no reason for anyone to worry about me. I’m perfectly fine,” I insisted, even though I had my own doubts about what I was saying. If I were having conversations with men who weren’t actually there, I supposed I wasn’t fine. “If either of you need someone to worry about, then worry about Sinjin.”
“Sinjin can take care of himself.”
“And I can’t?” I retorted.
She cocked her head to the side and wore a guilty expression. I was sure her current lack of faith in me and my abilities was because of what happened to me at Luce’s camp. It seemed that ever since I’d come back to Kinloch, everyone was treating me differently. They acted like they didn’t know how to relate to me after what I’d gone through. It was frustrating, to say the least.
“It’s not that,” she started. “Your sister just wants you to be safe, and we were all a little concerned about you.”
“Concerned about me, like how?” Betta had only been at Kinloch for a short time, so it irritated me to see she felt comfortable enough to speak to my sister before coming out here to tell me what I already knew.
“You’ve been having nightmares again,” Betta started. “Jolie told me about the most recent one.”
I eyed her with a frown. “It was just a dream! A dream that doesn’t mean anything.” As far as I could tell, my nightmare was already forgotten. Neither Jolie nor Mathilda had approached me about it again, which I figured had to mean they weren’t too worried about it. Which was just as well because I was beginning to believe it wasn’t anything more than my overactive imagination either.
“The point is that you’re stressed out, you’re not sleeping, you never finish your meals, and you’re training way too hard.”
“I’m fine.”
“No one knows what you’re going through or if you’re okay,” she continued. “Because you don’t ever let anyone in.”
“What’s wrong with that? I’m a private person. You knew that.”
“Yes,” she answered as she watched me prep the next disc. This time, I threw it as far as I could to give me ample time to prepare to hit it. “But sometimes it’s important to talk about things so someone else can help you through whatever you’re going through.”
“I’m not going through anything!” I was too busy watching the training plate moving rapidly through the forest, sweeping downward and under a pile of leaves before shooting up and over a large tree branch. I waited in my fighting stance.
“Jolie was worried that you might internalize this whole thing about Sinjin missing.”
“Sinjin can take care of himself—you said so already.” As the disc locked in on my chest, I released the boomerang. It spun through the air, catching the ceramic disc right in the middle and shattering it instantly.
“Well done,” Betta said with a little clap of applause. “I don’t think I’ll ever get sick of watching you train.”
“Well, maybe next time I’ll actually invite you,” I spat out. I was irritated and didn’t intend to sound so rude, but I couldn’t seem to help it. I hated being the subject of anyone’s pity or worry or whatever the hell Betta and Jolie did towards me. I just wanted them and everyone else to mind their own damn business and leave me be!
“You aren’t alone anymore, Bryn,” Betta continued, apparently ignoring my jab. Maybe she hadn’t even realized it was a jab to begin with. “You have friends and family now, people who genuinely care about you.”
I turned to face her, now far beyond irritated. “Look, Betta, I appreciate your concern. Really, I do. But you and my sister don’t realize that I’m not like either one of you. I’m a warrior. I don’t need to discuss my feelings.”
“But they are there all the same.”
I sighed, exasperated. “Okay, are we done here?” I asked as I stomped my foot impatiently. “Because these discs aren’t going to throw themselves.”
“We’re almost done,” she answered, shrugging at me, like it wasn’t her fault that she couldn’t leave me the hell alone. Taking a deep breath, “I never told you this before,” she started.
“Told me what?” I answered but turned my back to her. Reaching into the box, I grabbed a disc and threw it into the air. She could talk all she wanted, but I wasn’t paying attention. I had plenty of training to do and I fully intended to do it.
“A long, long time ago, when we both were just girls and we didn’t know each other, I would watch you training from the kitchen window. It was while I used to prepare all the meals for the camp.”
The disc came sailing around the trunk of the tree and unexpectedly shot right, then left before doubling over itself and coming for me directly. I ducked out of the way and shoved Betta forward to keep her from getting in the missile’s trajectory.
“I remember watching you train relentlessly, and your poor body would take such a beating,” she continued. She seemed completely oblivious that there was an errant disc on the loose. Having lost all sight of it, I searched the surrounding forest, worried that it would take me by surprise or worse, attack Betta.
“I just felt so sad for you. There was one day in particular that I watched you collapse into a heap on the ground and cry.”
I swallowed hard. How nice to know someone else had witnessed one of the moments that broke me, even if they were few and far between. “I always went far away from the camp whenever I needed to lose myself,” I said as I turned to face her.
She nodded like that wasn’t news. “There were a few times that I followed you, just to make sure you were okay.” She shrugged. “Of course, being human and hired as the help meant I couldn’t do much for you; but I did try to help you whenever and however I could.”
“What do you mean?”
“Do you remember a few times when you found cardboard boxes outside your door filled with bandages and other medical supplies and sometimes food?”
I gave her a slow nod, forgetting the errant disc for the moment. Her words returned me to a time and place that I hadn’t visited in many years. “I always thought they were from Luce,” I said somewhat reluctantly. “As if he could have cared enough to leave anything for me.” I shook my head, annoyed that my younger self could have ever even considered something so ridiculous.
“Yeah, they weren’t from Luce. They were from me.” Betta smiled and lowered her eyes.
“You?” I repeated incredulously. I couldn’t help but smile when it suddenly dawned on me that I had had a friend at the camp all along, even if I never realized it.
She nodded. “Yep. That was me.”
“Thank you,” I said softly. “You’ll never know how important those boxes became to me.”
Betta smiled proudly. “I watched you blossom into this dedicated and amazing warrior I now see before me. Every time Luce tried to tear you down, you defied him. You always got right back up with your head held high.”
I couldn’t respond because my throat suddenly felt tight.
“I watched you every day, Bryn. And secretly, I rooted for you because you were a girl and young, just like me. I thought maybe one day we could be friends.” She smiled even wider. “And now, look at us.”
I nodded but didn’t say anything. Whatever point she was trying to illustrate with her conversation was probably working, even though I was so dense to my emotions I wasn’t really sure what that point was.
She glanced down and then looked back into my eyes. “I watched you grow up and I observed all the pain and arduous hurdles that Luce put you through. I know who you are, Bryn. I know you better than anyone else does.”
Everything she was saying was true, but I couldn’t bring myself to respond. Instead, I just stood there dumbly, without saying anything. I was nothing less than stunned to know that someone was actually watching all the torment I endured at the hands of Luce. And although part of me wanted to demand why she never let me know she was there, if only so I didn’t feel so alone, I understood the soul-gripping fear that Luce could create in someone. And Betta was a human worker, which meant she could easily be replaced, so her fear must have been all the greater.
“And I saw you the day you battled that bear,” she continued. My heart sunk at the chilling memory that, to this day, had never left me. Even though I hated it, I instantly relived the feelings that passed through me when I’d first glimpsed the immense size and shape of the bear. How small I’d felt, and how helpless.
I clenched my eyes against the tears that even now threatened to break through. “The bear roared so loud,” I said in a trembling voice. “I don’t think I’ll ever be able to get the memory of the sound out of my head.” I inhaled deeply as the memories continued to plague me. “I remember closing my eyes and listening to his breathing—his heavy paws as he slammed them against the ground and that guttural growl. When I opened my eyes, he was already leaping at me, and I scrambled to get away from him. I tripped over my own feet and fell onto my back. Then I remembered my sword. I thrust it upward at the exact same time that he came down on top of me. The sword impaled his throat, piercing his skull and severing his spinal cord. He died instantly and …”
I felt the words fall off my tongue as the unhappy memory again invaded all of my thoughts. Without realizing it, my hands were fisting at my sides.
“And?” Betta asked, her eyes wide with anticipation.
“And a part of me died that day too. I’d never killed anything before, and that bear was so huge and beautiful and perfect.”
She nodded as if this wasn’t any news to her. “I remember after he died, you hugged him.”
“His weight was crushing me, but I didn’t care,” I answered with a wistful smile, one that I didn’t feel. “I remember wishing he’d suffocate the life out of me. I wanted to go with him. He didn’t deserve to die; and at that moment, I believed I didn’t deserve to live.”
I sucked in a big breath of air and tried to wash the horrible image from my mind. There was no use in thinking about it now. The bear was dead and I wasn’t. It served as a good reminder. I knew what Luce was capable of, how cold he could be, and how deadly.
“I know what Luce might do and you know it too,” I started. “My sister doesn’t. She doesn’t know him as well as I do.” Then I glanced over at Betta. “As well as we do.” She nodded her approval. “So if you came here to discover what I’m doing out here, this is what I’m doing. I’m training alone rather than attempting to save Sinjin from that monster.”
Rather than doing what I should be doing, and what I would rather be doing, I added to myself.
“I know you’re worried about Sinjin,” Betta said. “But you know how strong he is.”
I gave her a sideways look at the same time that I heard a whizz in the air. It was off to my right side. I turned around at the exact moment that the disc chose to reappear. I studied its movements, but it zigzagged through the air, with no clear trajectory. I waited, focusing and watching its progression. Something told me this disc wouldn’t go down easily. It picked up speed and zipped up and back down before it whipped to the right and veered off to the left.
When it was close enough, I readied my boomerang but then decided against it. This time, I wanted to test my magic. I dropped the boomerang and ran directly toward the disc. Bending down, it seemed to double in speed as it came for me. Summoning my magic, I honed in on the disc with my eyes, imagining it exploding in a fiery display. A half second later, it did exactly that.
Betta gasped.
“I know you had a part to play in Sinjin attacking Luce,” I said as I addressed her. If we were going to exchange secrets, now it was her turn to do some explaining.
“Bryn, he was going to go one way or another,” she answered, sounding defensive. “You know Sinjin. Once he makes up his mind …”
“It’s impossible to change it,” I finished for her, shaking my head in annoyance because I’d heard this same thing way too often. As far as I was concerned, Sinjin got away with almost anything just because he was Sinjin. That was a bullshit reason, if you asked me.
“If I hadn’t helped Sinjin by describing the layout of the camp and answering all of his questions, you know Luce would have gotten the upper hand,” she explained. Apparently, she was having a hard time keeping her gaze on mine. And I understood why. She had to be suffering from some level of guilt or remorse in her choice to assist Sinjin. Especially since he couldn’t be accounted for now.
“If you hadn’t helped him, maybe he wouldn’t have gone,” I argued.
“Do you really believe that?” she fired back at me.
I sighed. “No.” I took three steps to close the gap between us. “Regardless, this was a no-win situation.”
“What do you mean?” she asked.
“If Sinjin actually had made it inside the compound, and gotten past the barbed wire fence, the magicked wards, and the security, think about it. Think of how outnumbered he was to begin with! There’s no way he could have taken on everyone.”
“That was never his plan,” Betta argued. “He was only going after the men who hurt you.”
“And you really think he didn’t encounter anyone else?” I asked as I shook my head. “You know how secure that compound is, Betta.”
“I do know,” she answered, “but I also know how capable Sinjin is, and I still have faith in him.” She took a breath. “I believe in him.”
“Let’s just say, for the sake of argument, that he was successful and he escaped,” I hypothesized. “We both know what happens next. Luce will retaliate.” I took another step toward her, and this time, I lowered my voice and my words were serious and concerned. “Even if Luce killed Sinjin, it won’t be enough. He will still seek revenge on me, on Rachel, on you, and everyone else.” I stared at her while she fought to argue with me. “You know what I’m saying is true.”
Betta swallowed hard, and I finally sensed my words were sinking in. When she looked up at me again, her eyes were wide with concern. “I don’t know what will happen,” she started, “but I will admit that I’m scared for Sinjin. I’m worried why he isn’t back yet and that no one has heard from him.” She dropped her gaze to the ground and her voice trailed off as she looked up at me again. “You don’t think anything happened to him, do you?”
“I don’t know,” I answered honestly. “But if he did manage to kill anyone or hurt anyone in that compound, it will only make Luce’s retaliation worse.” I shook my head as my words echoed through me. All of this was on my shoulders because Sinjin was avenging me. Something that still angered me to my core.
Betta lifted her chin. I recognized that determined expression. Even though she was only human, lacking any powers whatsoever, Betta had a rebellious streak and a tough exterior. I admired her for both.
“He was going to do it with or without my help, Bryn,” she explained. “So even though you’re angry with me now, I’m sure you wouldn’t have wanted me to let Sinjin attack the camp without any previous knowledge of it.”
“I didn’t want him to go anywhere near it, Betta! This is my life and the decision to avenge me should have been mine! If something has happened to Sinjin, it’s permanently branded on my conscience!”
“No,” Betta shook her head and sat down next to a tree. Pulling her legs up to her chest, she rested her chin on her knees. “None of this is on you,” she insisted. “It was Sinjin’s decision, and he has to be responsible for his actions. He’s stubborn and arrogant, but …” she grabbed a handful of leaves and crushed them.
“But?”
“He genuinely cares, Bryn … about you. He cares a lot about you.”
“Sinjin cares about no one but himself, Betta. Once you learn that, you’ll be a better woman for it.” And that thought angered me. Of course, I knew why he’d gone to the compound in the first place. Sinjin was someone who sought out glory wherever he could find it. And what better way to impress his queen than by avenging her wronged sister?
“I think you’re wrong.”
“I’m not wrong,” I argued. “You are too naive in how you look at the world. Not everyone is motivated by goodness or kindness or trust.”
“I know that,” she spat back.
“You don’t act like it,” I ranted. “You look at the world through rose-colored lenses and it’s not doing you any favors. Sinjin isn’t some knight in shining armor like you try so hard to make him out to be.”
“You’re being too harsh on him, Bryn,” Betta interjected. “Who was there the day we escaped from Montana? Do you remember when we were trudging through the forest, and you were so dizzy, you could hardly even walk?”
I sighed and stared at my friend. Betta had a raging crush on Sinjin, just like most women who crossed his path. I suspect that over the past six hundred years, he must have captured just as many hearts. But I wasn’t impressed. “Your point?” I asked.
“My point is that he cares about you!” she roared at me. “He chased down your attackers and killed them for harming you!”
“Or so you presume to believe. We have no idea what truly happened.”
“The point is that Sinjin isn’t an ice-cold monster like you make him out to be. No, he isn’t perfect. Yes, he’s motivated by his own self-interests, but he’s also a good man!”
“Next time he’s in legal trouble, he should call on you to defend him,” I said with a smirk I didn’t enjoy.
“You can go on thinking whatever you want about him, but personally, I consider the whole thing pretty romantic.” Betta grabbed a small, yellow flower growing in a dusty field of brown and plucked it from the arid dirt. Pulling off one petal after another, I inwardly scoffed at the inanity of her words.
“Romantic?” I asked as I shook my head. “Hardly!”
She lifted her eyes to mine and frowned at me. “I think it’s sweet that he defended your honor.”
Betta meant a lot to me. Hell, she had been there when I really needed her. I’d protect her with my life, but right now, she was annoying the living shit out of me! I couldn’t figure out her way of thinking—believing that life was just a fairy tale and Sinjin was the prince. He wasn’t!
“I have more training to do,” I said with finality. I picked up three discs, throwing each one straight ahead of me, and closed my eyes as I slid into a fighting stance.
“Well, when you’re ready to talk, you know I’m always here for you,” Betta said. I heard her getting to her feet a few moments later and knew I was alone again.