Chapter 32

June

This can’t be real.

The sensation of Lawrence’s lips…no, not Carter’s lips, but…

No, this can’t be real. But I know it is, because the feel of Lawrence’s lips pressing forcefully on my own is too repulsive to be a dream or a hallucination.

My imagination could never come up with something this horrid. Only a gruesome, ghastly reality would present something so sickening as Lawrence—a wolf in his brother’s clothing—shoving his dry, grotesque lips onto my own.

This whole appointment was already going so far off the rails, with Carter not even coming with me or showing up and now…

Gathering every bit of strength I can muster, I reach up and push against Lawrence’s shoulders, trying to get him as far away from me as possible. If only I could launch him up through the garage ceiling and straight into the sun.

But I can’t even get him to budge an inch, and his awful lips are still on mine.

He tightens his grip on me as his tongue probes my mouth, but I’m quick to put the kibosh on that. I press my lips firmly shut and push even harder. Get the hell off me!

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”

I hear Carter’s voice echoing through the parking lot.

Oh, thank god. My savior is here.

“Hey bro, what’s it look like to you? I’m kissing June. I can see why you couldn’t wait to make her yours.” Lawrence winks at Carter, and I swear I can see steam pouring out of Carter’s ears.

He yanks Lawrence away from me by his collar and decks him soundly. Lawrence goes flying back and collapses on the pavement.

I run to Carter’s side with a mix of relief and residual repulsion surging through me.

I can still feel those creepy hands touching me. One thing’s for sure: I’ll need a scalding hot shower—or five—after this whole ordeal.

“I know you’re a fucking dirtbag.” Carter nods at Lawrence, who’s now propped up on one elbow, cradling his jaw. “But what’s your excuse?”

Carter reels around to face me, his blue eyes colder than I’ve seen them; just icy with hurt, betrayal, and anger as he stares me down.

I’m stunned. I never thought he’d turn on me. Anyone with eyes must’ve been able to see that I was not enjoying that in any sense of the word.

The shock and revulsion I was feeling is quickly turning into my own hurt and anger.

“My excuse? Really?” I laugh.

My laugh is not out of amusement or any sort of mirth. This laugh is a result of being flat-out gobsmacked.

Is he really asking me this?

Is he really accusing me of this?

Because it seems like he’s doing exactly freaking that.

Goodness. I’m almost ready to swear—in my head, at least.

“Yeah, your excuse. For pawing at my brother.”

“Okay, first of all, Carter. He was pawing at me. In case you missed me desperately trying to shove him away.”

“What is he even fucking doing here?”

“He came into the appointment! I thought he was you!”

Carter’s face is falling into sadness. His pain is clear.

But in the blink of an eye, he’s back to being calm and collected.

On the surface at least. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see him clenching and unclenching his fists. That’s when I noticed the bruises on his knuckles.

It couldn’t be from punching Lawrence just now. There was way too much bruising for that.

“What happened to your hand?” I gesture, reaching for him. Carter yanks his hand away before I could touch it.

“None of your fucking business,” he growls at me. “So you thought Lawrence was me, huh? After all we’ve shared, you should at least be able to tell us apart by now! Instead, you let him corner you and plant one on your mouth like you’re his fucking woman!”

“Well, honestly, bro, maybe she thought this was the perfect time to jump ship and was interested in taking a little test-drive first. Not like I can knock her up any more than she already is.”

Lawrence laughs at his own repugnance. He’s not even trying to get himself up off the ground.

This is so not the time for your bullshit, Lawrence.

Okay, so now I’m freaking swearing inside my head. I’m keeping them to myself…for now. For crying out loud—I knew he was an ass, but I’m becoming painfully aware of just how much of an ass he really is.

“Is that right? Maybe you didn’t really mistake us at first. Maybe you really wanted to see which of us twins is the better fuck before walking down the aisle.”

Alright, I’ve had just about enough of this.

No need to hold back now, Junebug. Get him.

“You think I fucking wanted this?! No, I wanted you!”

His eyes go wide at my outburst. It’s not like me to cuss, especially like this, but with the intense jumble of emotions running through me right now I can’t stop myself from shouting.

“But you were too busy to be here, isn’t that right? You were too busy to see our baby, your baby, for the first time. For all you wax poetic about wanting to be a good dad and a good support system, you’re off to a shitty fucking start!”

My chest is burning with anger, the rage starting to boil over at this point. Does he really think for one gosh-darn moment that I wanted his brother? Is his head stuck that far up his ass that he’s not seeing how much that accusation hurts me?

“And besides,” I continue, “I wouldn’t have mistaken Lawrence for you if I wasn’t so stressed out of my mind about you not being here. You know, like you promised you would be.”

“That’s—”

“So, if there’s anyone to blame for me supposedly jumping ship, it’s you!”

With a furious fling, I toss the ultrasound image at him, letting it flutter in the air in front of his face.

The first ever image of the very fruit of our love-making, the child he so desperately wanted, yet he couldn’t even make the time to be here with me.

Sure, it may look like nothing other than a black and white blob on a piece of photo paper, but it’s still our child.

After what he’s been through, I thought he would at least understand the significance, the weight, and the meaning of this moment.

“You know what?” I look him right in the eyes, feeling the warm prickling of coming tears. My voice is shaky, but I don’t care. “I thought we were something special, that we had something special. But this, this proves the real, ugly truth.

“It was never anything more than a contract to you. If it meant anything more than that, you’d have been here, come hell or high water. Instead, you made it possible for Lawrence to swoop in and act like the ass-hat he is. You and him? You’re exactly the same. You’re both assholes.”

Not looking back, I just turn to walk away.

“I’m done, Carter!” I yell, just to make certain things are crystal-freaking-clear.

I’m not looking in his direction anymore. I’m looking straight ahead, although I really have no idea where the heck I’m going to go next.

Without much thought I turn a corner, out of Carter and his asshole twin brother’s lives. I just walk away from this terrible phase in my life, when two women step out.in front of me. I have no idea where they’ve come from.

I watch as they head for a car, arm in arm, looking so happy.

“Excuse me!” I holler at them and take off in their direction.

The two ladies look at me blankly. Both are very visibly pregnant, but they both look overjoyed.

That’s how I should’ve been today.

That’s how we should’ve been today.

Instead, I’m left reeling from this sudden, horrible turn everything has taken.

There’s no joy. There’s only betrayal.

And utter emptiness.

“How can we help you?” One of the women asks.

“Could I grab a ride with you? Please?” I’m doing more talking than thinking, but right now, all I want is to get out of here.

“Sure, but we’re heading to the airport.”

The airport.

Yeah, I think it’s high time I went back home.

“That’s just fine with me.”

I hear a noise behind me. I glance back. It’s him.

Carter’s eyes are on me as I walk to their car. I can feel his gaze upon me.

But right now, I don’t give a damn. He made his bed, he can lie in it.

I have a baby to take care of, and I’ll be damned if I can’t do it alone.