Chapter 30

June

I’ve changed into what I’ve come to think of as mommy clothes: a comfortable pair of yoga pants, an oversized sweater, and a pair of trendy boots that are forgiving about the way my feet swell now.

The good thing about my job with Carter’s company is that it bankrolls designer maternity wear.

Maybe the only good thing, considering the day I’ve had.

“June Johnson, here to see Dr. Lucas.” I try to force a smile at the receptionist, but she doesn’t even attempt to force one back.

City slickers.

“You’re not on the schedule,” the receptionist says instead. Now the forced smile comes—Botox-tight and completely unnerving. “If you don’t have an appointment, I’m afraid you’ll have to leave.”

Honestly? I preferred her grimacing.

“Ugh,” I sigh, realizing my mistake. “Is it under Abraham? June Abraham or maybe Carter Abraham?”

He booked the appointment for me, after all. Insisted that there was nowhere else in the city worth going. It would only make sense that he’d put it under his own name.

Typical male.

At the sound of that name, the receptionist’s eerie smile fades again. It’s replaced with a look of awe.

“You’re here for an…ultrasound.” She raises her colored-in eyebrows in surprise as she checks her screen. “Wow. I didn’t think Carter Abraham was the type.”

Here’s where I have to bite my tongue to keep myself from lashing back with an impolite retort.

Internally though, I’m thinking, what the hell does she mean by that? I take offense at her comment, but then realize it’s aimed more at Carter than at myself.

Instead, I plant another fake smile on my lips that makes my cheeks hurt and tell her that, yes, I am indeed here for an ultrasound.

Everyone around here knows Carter’s name, and he’s somewhat of a legend, to be honest.

I’m not surprised by the way the nurse’s expression changes from smug to profoundly impressed.

She glances around and beyond me towards the waiting room filled with other fat, uncomfortable moms-to-be.

“Will Mr. Abraham be joining you today?” Now, her eyes fixate back to me for a response to her question.

“No.” I shake my head regretfully, wondering why I’m allowing this stranger to shame me. “He’s unable to make it.”

Okay, so maybe the extra explanation isn’t actually necessary, but at any rate, I can spot that judgmental flicker in her eyes from a mile away.

She gives me a look of pity, like I’m a poor single mother who’s been knocked up and going through the trials of life all alone with no support.

“Let me just check the computer to get you booked in the schedule, then, dear.” The woman moves her gaze back to her screen and narrows her eyes in on the contents, which I can’t see.

“Okay,” I whisper meekly and shift my weight uncomfortably.

I’m feeling quite indignant, but I can’t very well have it out with this sardonic lady, and running out of here would be childish and not in the best interest of my growing baby, either.

I’m sure a shouting brawl would capture unwanted attention, not to mention cast a limelight on Carter that I’m willing to bet he wouldn’t appreciate.

The nurse glances back up at me with a sour smile. “If you will just take a seat in one of the waiting room chairs over there, you will be called back momentarily.”

She gestures to the open area behind me, and I nod in response to her instructions. “Thanks,” I tell her and spin around.

I park my ever-growing rear end in one of the seats and pick up a magazine called ‘Parents.’ It has a picture of a bright-eyed and rosy-cheeked infant on the cover who’s smiling with a pair of pearly white teeth at the bottom of their mouth.

“Lose the baby weight with these five tricks!” One of the enticing story teasers says in huge black letters, sprawled out alluringly on the cover.

Now, these are tips I’ll need to take into account for the future, but for now, I need to focus my attention on getting this baby out of my body as safely as possible.

“June Johnson?”

Instinctively, I glance up at the sound of my name being called out. “That’s me.” I wave my hand timidly.

“Come this way, dear,” another nurse in scrubs is holding a clipboard and beckoning me to follow her.

Every step I take slices me with stings of nervous trepidation, but I try to counteract the jitters by swallowing massive breaths that help me calm down and not surrender to the anxious torture reeling in my brain.

The nurse has auburn-colored hair and seems a little friendlier than the one who checked me in at the receptionist’s desk.

“Please step on the scale,” she instructs and points to the corner.

“Okay,” I gulp hard and lick my lips, anticipating how much I’ve gained so far.

“You look good,” she smiles. “You’re gaining weight at a very healthy pace.”

“Phew,” I chuckle and pretend to wipe sweat off my brow in relief at her testament.

She takes my blood pressure and makes me pee into a cup, and then finally I’m able to go to the examination room, where I put on a gown and wait for the doctor to arrive.

I stare blankly at the stark white wall in front of me, then glance around nervously at all the tools and gadgets around the room.

The stirrups on the examination table are mocking me, and I’m not used to feeling this kind of intense pressure about any situation.

A few minutes later, all I can hear is the swooshing sound of my heartbeat as it pounds like a high school marching band’s drum line through my ears.

I hear a knock on the door, a rapping sound that makes every muscle in my body freeze in response.

A few seconds later, a man with salt and pepper hair swings the door open with a smile.

“Hello,” he says and introduces himself by giving me a handshake.

Horror fills me with dread at the realization that my doctor will be a man. “Will you please place your feet in the stirrups?”

He asks the question as if it’s no big deal, but to me, I’m swallowing fear by the gallon.

“Sure,” I say meekly and do as he asks, placing two pink-socked feet in each holster at the end of the examination bed.

I take a deep breath and wait to see what happens next. Then, as if the universe is throwing me a lifeline, there’s another knock at the door.

To me, this saving grace represents a wonderful interruption that might buy me some time to gather and compose my fraying nerves.

Hopefully, I can bind them back together before the examination starts, even though I’m still excited to see the baby on the ultrasound screen.

“Forgive me, doctor,” another nurse enters the room and states apologetically. “The father is here for the ultrasound.”

The father?

Carter!

I glance towards the door with hope, and then I’m encompassed by a feeling of peace as I notice Carter’s friendly and familiar face.

He walks through the door with cool and charismatic confidence. Thank God he’s here.

I didn’t want to have to go through this alone, and now I don’t have to carry that burden on my shoulders any longer now that my angel in human form has come to save me.

“Hi,” I give him a feeble attempt at a smile and try to focus on not hurtling myself across the room.

Something still feels a bit off for me. I can’t really explain what it is, but the spectrum of colors is shifting from the array of a rainbow to…well…black and white.

I can hardly think straight through my anxiety, but something about the way Carter greets me, and his movements seem awkward and out of place.

He isn’t behaving like his usual cheerful self, and I’m ambivalent on what to make of the situation.

It’s not like I have any extra time to dissect any of my thoughts or emotions, though, because the doctor slips on his blue latex gloves with a smacking sound that is brazen with finality.

“Now that everyone is here, it’s time to begin,” he gives us a warm smile that should have reassured me, but as I glance over at Carter, something just doesn’t feel right.

His behavior isn’t sitting well with me. The doctor flicks off the lights, and I glance over at Carter.

“Is everything alright with you?” I whisper and give him an unconvinced glance that is dripping with uncertainty.

He looks over at me and squeezes my hand. “Everything is fine.”

I take a deep breath and lean back against the pillows while the doctor pulls out his magical little ultrasound wand.

The screen lights up and exposes my belly, and the beautiful baby doing flips inside of my body.

“Oh, wow,” I say and giggle, pointing to the screen. “Is that the baby?”

“It sure is,” the doctor says proudly.

Carter and I exchange a look of relief as we watch the movements on screen.

“We’re going to listen to the heartbeat now,” the doctor informs us.

“Okay,” I say as a fresh wave of nervousness washes over me. I hope that everything sounds good.

A few seconds later, the glorious sound of horse galloping fills my ears and ignites my own heart with joy.

That beautiful sound is coming from my baby’s heart, beating strongly with an elegance that brings me to a basket of tears.

“Everything sounds great. It’s a nice, solid, and healthy heartbeat,” the doctor confirms.

I grin at him through blurry eyes. “Thank you.”

I glance over at Carter. He seems excited.

By the time we walk out, his demeanor changes again. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. It’s almost as if he’s disconnected from the moment.

“Aren’t you happy?” I question him.

He doesn’t look at me and flicks the unlock button on his key. “Of course I’m happy.”

“Okay,” I say and glance down at the pavement below my feet.

Something is still off about him, and I can’t shake the feeling. He moves around to the passenger door and opens it to help my rotund body climb inside.

Before I start moving towards comfort of the seat, Carter picks up my chin and turns it to face him, drawing me in for a kiss.

At first, I was unfazed.

Then I notice it.

The color of Carter’s eyes is not his usual deep ocean blue.

These eyes are the wrong color.

This isn’t Carter leaning in to kiss me intimately. This is Lawrence.