Chapter 10

June

I feel his hands on my bare skin, touching and stroking and teasing me in ways that my body has never known.

I’ve never known a man like this. I’ve never felt this way before.

Back in Wheatfield, a kiss with too much tongue would have felt unchaste and inappropriate. Too fast. Too much.

But I’m not in Wheatfield anymore. If the things Carter is doing to my body right now are too much, then too much is exactly what I want. What I need.

Maybe I’ve always needed this. Maybe I’ve always secretly wanted to feel this way deep down.

Or maybe Carter has awakened something inside me with his lips against mine and his hands roaming my body with such reckless abandon.

My preacher wouldn’t approve, and I wouldn’t want my daddy to know…

But Carter’s touch doesn’t feel wrong. It doesn’t feel sinful or naughty, and it doesn’t make my body feel dirty or impure.

In fact, I feel like every place he touches me—my neck, my collarbone, my hip, the curve of my breast—every one of those places is glowing golden just from feeling the warmth of his bare hands.

I feel more connected to my body than I knew was possible, every nerve I possess singing out at his touch.

I’m beyond thought, beyond question. I know with certainty that I need more. I need all of him.

“I want you.” I say, my voice surprisingly calm, full of conviction.

I lean even closer to him, desperately trying to narrow the gap between us. Every inch, every centimeter feels like the most cavernous of voids.

“I need you. Be with me.” I say, again in that voice that seems not quite my own.

I don’t know this woman, so certain and bold. I have never even suspected her existence. But here she is, bubbling up out of me, somehow awoken by his touch.

He shakes his head, and I swear my heart skips a beat.

“I want to,” he says. “Believe me, I want to.”

“Then what’s the matter?” I ask, fear creeping through me, disturbing the passion.

Back to my old self then.

He looks down the length of my naked body, his eyes seeming to touch me almost as much as his hands do.

“I just can’t.” he says, “There’s a bigger picture here.”

His eyes roam back to my face, halting to lock with my own. Tiny electric sparks fly between us.

“Besides,” he says, voice full of restraint, “this day hasn’t been easy for you. That’s the last thing you need.”

My disappointment is palpable. I can feel it radiating through me, threatening to overwhelm even my most rational thoughts. Where seconds ago there was a raging inferno, there is now but a tiny flicker of a flame. He sure knows how to dampen my spirits.

He doesn’t know what I need. The five-year-old in me is coming to the surface.

How could he? I’m only just figuring it out myself.

I imagine him leaving, strutting out of the room like it’s the easiest thing he’s ever done. And where will he go? No doubt straight into the arms of another woman.

Typical man.

I wonder what their child will look like and realize that I’m not longer thinking about Carter.

My face, shamefully unaccustomed to secrets, must betray me. His face grows serious.

“Hey,” he says with concern in his tone, “don’t worry. I’m not going anywhere.”

Leaning in, he kisses me again—slowly at first, kindly. It quickly becomes more.

My body responds to him as if nothing has happened, already trying once again to eliminate the space that opened between us.

He pushes gently on my shoulder, guiding me until I am lying on my back, him half on top of me. His mouth leaves my own, traveling down the length of me with a confidence that speaks volumes about his experience.

First at my neck, his lips brush gently back over my collar bone, kissing their way down to my chest.

My breath catches in my throat as he first takes one nipple into his mouth, then the next. He takes his time, licking and sucking in turn, until I’m fairly squirming with frustration.

Just as I feel I can no longer take it, he again starts to move. In anticipation of what’s to come, I try and thrust my pelvis toward him, making it easy for him, but his strong hands resist my move.

My ribs, my stomach, my hipbones—his mouth explores every inch of me. By the time he’s made his way between my legs, I’m shaking with anticipation.

I feel his breath, hot and inviting, as it washes over me in the instant before his mouth finally reaches its destination.

I gasp as his tongue finds my spot of pleasure.

Hot and wet, it slides over my clit.

He groans, a sound full of frustration, and I find myself wishing desperately for his resolve to break.

His hands find their way to my thighs, pushing them apart, further opening me to him.

I don’t resist. I couldn’t, even if I wanted to.

With every flick of his tongue, I grow more and more entranced. I moan, I cry out, I cling desperately to his hair.

His name finds its way to my tongue, and I moan the word repeatedly, like a chant, almost a prayer.

My body rises up to move in time with him, hips thrusting harder with each passing moment.

I begin to go rigid, muscles tensing in the enormity of pleasure.

I feel his hand, wrapped firmly around my thigh, fingers almost digging grooves into my bare skin. I can feel the desire in his touch, the restraint he’s trying so badly to uphold.

“Carter!” I yelp as I reach my orgasm.

My hands, already clinging to his hair, tighten in reflex. My body, already tense, goes completely rigid.

I shout, wordless, voiceless expressions of pure ecstasy as I am utterly carried away in the most intense pleasure I have ever known.

Moments later, I lie, breathing heavily, looking down in amazement at the man before me.

His grin is all I need to know that he’s not quite finished with me after all.

I watch, as he lowers himself back down, that smile never faltering.

At first, he teases my pussy. His face hovers, barely touching me.

A gentle kiss is placed on my clit before he lets his teeth take a little nibble. It’s gentle, as if he’s taste testing.

Then, without warning, his tongue pushes all the way into me. His face is now buried between my legs.

The flame inside of me, barely extinguished from my orgasm a few minutes ago, is turning into a raging inferno.

My mind has turned to mush. I’m unable to think coherently. I’m lost in a world of absolute pleasure.

As his tongue laps at my pussy, I feel it’s mere moments before my next orgasm. Volcano-like, I erupt and come harder than ever before as his tongue moves frantically against me.

As I come, I am completely certain that this is absolutely the most intense orgasm that any human being could have.

It’s a certainty that remains with me for all of five minutes.

Until the next one.

And the one after that.

By the time I again find Carter beside me, my entire body shakes with exhaustion. Never in my life can I remember being so completely worn out.

Or so content.

He pulls me, wordlessly, over to him, my head resting heavily on his chest.

With one hand pressed against my back, he runs the other across my head, fingers raking gently through my hair.

A sound comes from me—half sigh and half purr.

My own hands can’t get enough of him. I let my fingers draw tiny circles on his muscles, reveling in the moment. I can hear his hear beat loud and clear.

Despite my resolve to stay awake for as long as possible, my eyelids start to flutter.

“Don’t fight it, sweetheart,” Carter says.

Cat-like, I push further into him, making sure as much of our naked bodies touch as possible. And then, as I’m still fighting the weariness, everything fades to a beautiful darkness as I drift off to slumber.