[Jake]

I stand back as I nod at Kayla. “Ready to make homemade pasta?”

“I’m not making homemade pasta,” she says as she opens the fridge and pulls out the noodles I made this morning. “But I will boil these if you heat up the sauce.” She holds up the alfredo in one hand and the marinara in the other. “Are we in the mood for white or red?”

“White!” Emma and Ryan offer their choice in unison.

“I don’t trust myself with any red sauce. I’ll end up ruining whatever I’m wearing. I’m already down an outfit after the accident. Where is it? Aha!” Emma pulls a movie off the rack to show Ryan. He groans and rolls his eyes. “What? It’s my favorite.”

“And we watch it once a week. I thought I hid it better.”

“We’re watching it twice this week.” She plants a loud kiss on his lips. “Besides, as soon as you eat something, I’ll give you more Oxy. You’ll be passed out in your chair and drooling before the opening credits are over.”

“I hate that shit. I get weird dreams on it.”

“I have weird dreams without it, so we’re even.”

Ryan laughs. “That makes no sense.”

“You love me anyway.”

Kayla sighs and leans her head on my shoulder. “Cutest couple ever.”

I wrap an arm around her. “I don’t know. I think we give them a run for their money.”

“Do we?”

“Don’t we?”

She sucks in a breath and tucks her hair behind her ear. “How about we just get dinner ready?”

“What’d I say?” She shakes her head and will no longer look at me. When she wipes her eyes, my heart drops. Shit. What’d I do? Why’s she crying? “Would you talk to me?”

“I’m just really stressed out. I should be home working on my last final, not here pretending we’re a normal couple.”

Ouch. Jesus, when she’s running scared, she can be brutal. “We aren’t normal?”

“What do you think?”

“Is, uh, everything okay in there?” Emma asks.

We storm to opposite corners. I lean against the wall and cross my arms to drum my fingers on my biceps. Why am I trying so hard when all she does is shoot me down? I know the answer before I even ask the question.

Because I know the Kayla she really is beneath the hard layer she keeps on the surface. She’s miserable being this scared little Kayla, and I hate it. I want her to be my Kayla, the one willing to release control and let me blindfold her. That Kayla knows how to live. This Kayla is too scared to.

“Who’s ready for refills?” She moves into the living room. I push away from the wall and watch her, waiting for her to turn around and look at me, but she never does. So, I just stand there, my hands on my hips. She’s so scared to accept the fact I’m not going anywhere. She doesn’t believe me. Based on my track record, I don’t blame her. It’s going to take more than words to prove it to her.

I catch Ryan’s eye. He immediately looks away. Odd. Now he won’t even regard me. Something’s up, something neither of the girls pick up. But I do. I know my partner. He’s got something on his mind. My problems take a back burner.

“Hey, Ryan? Didn’t you have that new thing you wanted to show me?”

“What new thing?”

“That new thing, you know, in another room?”

“Oh, that new thing.” He nods when he finally catches on.

“Pah-lease,” Emma groans. “If you two want to sneak off and be all TREXy or whatever, just do it. You don’t have to make shit up.”

When I eye him knowingly, he sheepishly grins. “Dude, you give me shit for telling Kayla?”

“She just sort of found out.”

“Because I sort of tripped over the gym bag he left in the middle of the floor that had all his spy shit in it.”

“I’m not a spy.” He rolls his eyes.

“Whatever, James Bond. Are you two going to go do your secret agent stuff or what?” She freezes and rounds her eyes as she spins to face Kayla. “Sweet Jesus with loose lips.”

“I know.”

“You do?”

Kayla nods. “Jake told me.”

She breaths out a sigh. “Oh, thank God. I thought I totally messed up again. I mentioned something in front of his brother once. Turns out he already knew, too, and wasn’t happy that Ryan joined the agency. That was a fun weekend. I can’t keep a secret to save my life.”

“She’s not wrong.” Ryan nods at the front door. “Let’s take this outside.” I unlock the brakes and wheel him outside. It’s not raining for a change. The sun is even out. He lifts his face to the sky and closes his eyes, breathing in deep. “This is the first time I’ve been outside that apartment since I got home from the hospital. I’ve been going stir crazy. Please tell me you have something for us to do. Some intel you need me to collect. Something that gets me out of here.”

“It’s been less than a week since the accident, buddy. You have to give your body time to heal.”

He shakes his head, like he doesn’t believe me. “What’s the difference between sitting on my ass here or in the van?”

I’ve seen this before, too. If the injured are used to being active, to doing more outside the home than in, they get restless fast. There’s nothing I can say that will convince him he should rest. I need do something to get his mind off the situation. “Anything new on Gerald Murphy?”

“That’s why I wanted to get you away from the girls.” Ryan’s expression lights up. He definitely needs this. It’s like he comes alive. I’ll talk to Bailey about giving him assignments to keep him busy. He’s right. There’s no difference between him sitting at home or in the van. He can work either way—if he’s not doped up on painkillers. “After we got home from the event, I did some digging. Turns out my mom isn’t the anonymous donor after all. She’s just a lonely woman wanting a little company.”

I don’t know if I believe him. Those in denial will do anything to find answers, to come up with alternative facts, like excusing his mom for trolling for young men at a political event. Now isn’t the time to point that out. “Who’s the donor?”

“Olivia Blunt.”

Wow. He actually had an answer. Whether it’s right or not is the next question. When the name registers, I chuckle. “The organizer from the Bloedel Reserve event?” She did seem chummy with Murphy at the event, and he did call her Liv, like they were more than acquaintances. “What does she possibly gain by funding whatever it is Murphy has planned?”

“Because she’s not just an event planner. Turns out that’s just a front. She uses it to coordinate little shindigs for her real clients.” He holds up his hands. “God, I wish I had my laptop.”

“Where is it? I’ll go get it.”

He shakes his head. “TREX has me on lockdown until I’m off the pain meds. Apparently, they’re worried I’ll track down all my mom’s affairs.”

I eye him and recognize that guilty look deepening his expression. “How many did you get before they shut you down?”

“Only one.” Like that makes it any better. “She called me when I was in the hospital and not from her phone. I traced it back to the Crowne Plaza in downtown Seattle. It wasn’t hard to retrieve the guest list and cross-reference it with the attendee list from the event. I easily found the one she was with.”

For such a straight-laced guy, he shocks me at his blatant disregard for the rules. Then again, he’s like Kayla. He doesn’t think when he breaks the rules it’s the same thing as when others break them. And, like with Kayla, it’s my job to point that out.

“Ryan, you can’t bend the rules when it suits you. If every TREX agent tracked things down whenever they wanted, broke the rules for their own personal gain, we’d have chaos.”

Holy shit. Did I just say that? It’s frightening enough when Kayla’s crazy makes sense, let alone when I have the chance to apply it.

“That’s why I need your help.”

“I’m not helping you with this, buddy. You want to break the rules, you’re on your own.”

“I don’t want to break the rules, Jake. I just want to help on this find. We can’t lose this lead on the Order. You have to convince Bailey to unlock my access.”

“I can’t convince anyone else when I’m not even convinced myself.”

His face sags. He looks like I just stole his girl. “How can you say that after everything I’ve done for you?”

“I’m grateful for the intel,” I fire back, pissed he’s using the job as some sort of justification to go around the rules. “That’s not the point and you know it. I’m not going to help you do something so monumentally stupid. This could get you kicked out of TREX.”

“You’re supposed to be my partner.”

“That’s why I’m not going to let you do this.”

He turns an interesting shade of crimson as he works his jaw and stares straight ahead. Let him be pissed. Let him hate me for not going along with this. Maybe he’ll give up when he realizes how bat shit crazy he’s being. “Fine. I’ll find another way in. Leave me alone. I need to think.”

“Not going to happen.” I kneel to be eye level. He’s dealing with things no one should ever have to deal with. His dad’s cancer. His mom’s cheating. The accident. Now being locked out of the only thing he loves as much as Emma. But this will only make it worse. I’m not about to let that happen. Despite needing him as my partner, my lifeline when I’m in the field, I also need him as my friend. “Listen, buddy. I know it seems like the world is taking a shit on you right now, but you know this isn’t the answer. Come on, man. You’re smart. Think this through.”

His entire body deflates. It’s like he’s run out of whatever hate fuel he’s been using to keep himself going. We sit there in silence for several minutes. I’m not about to leave him alone, not like this. He’s not thinking straight. He’s brilliant. I wouldn’t put it past him to jack a phone and hack into TREX. “I just want some sense of normalcy.”

God, don’t I know that story. I hesitate to talk to him about Kayla, but I don’t have anyone else to talk to, and something tells me he’d welcome the distraction. “I haven’t had normal since Kayla got our old apartment building condemned.”

“Looks like that worked out in your favor.” When I don’t answer, he narrows his eyes. “Didn’t it?”

“Yeah. Hell, yeah.”

He continues to stare at me, like he’s about to call me on my bullshit. Only I’m not bullshitting. “What is it?”

“Nothing.”

“Jake, I may not know you that well on a personal level, but I know you on the surface. I know your facial expressions. I know how you look off to the right when you’re searching for the words to say that’ll get you the results you’re after. Whether that’s getting a target to hand over his phone so you can clone it or getting a girl to come home with you. You’re doing it right now.”

Holy shit. I do that?

“Don’t tell me what you think I want to hear. Tell me what you want to say.”

“How’d you get to be so damn perceptive?”

“I’m a nerd,” he admits without hesitation, without shame. “It comes with the title.”

“I, uh…” I hesitate. How do I admit something so personal to someone I have no personal relationship with? I’m in love and it freaks me out that I’ll do something to screw things up. I’m not good enough for Kayla and it terrifies me she’ll realize that, and walk away. I’m never going to be the CEO of a Fortune 500 company and it worries me I won’t be able to provide the life Kayla deserves. I can’t admit any of that, not to Ryan. Not to anyone.

“I get it.”

There he goes again. He’s smart, too damn smart. With his brain and family’s money, he’s going to be president someday. With my brain and lack of money, I’ll be lucky to not have to work after I retire. “What is it you think you get?”

“You think you and Kayla are on different playing fields.” He sets his jaw as his expression turns to stone. Damn, he’s really gotten better at that look. “Let me tell you something. She’s not a zero, and being with you does not make you the hero. She’s more than good enough to be with you. You aren’t doing her a favor by being with her.”

“Whoa, dude. You have that backward.”

He blinks. “I do?”

“Guess you don’t know me as well as you thought.” I straighten and debate leaving it at that. Something stops me. Ryan isn’t trying to piss me off. He’s trying to put me in my place. He’s lecturing me, looking out for and protecting the underdog. “She can do so much better than me.”

“You’re right.”

“Seriously?”

“What?” He chuckles, goddamn him. I’m bearing parts of my soul here, and he thinks it’s funny. “I’ve had to deal with guys like you my entire life. My brother. The head of my old house. You.”

“Me?”

“Yes, Jake. You. You’re a total player. A complete tool. I’m surprised you’re not a Delta.”

It’s not for lack of want. I pledged and didn’t make the cut. Apparently being in the Delta house requires a hefty donation to the charity or foundation of the house’s choice.

“You’re also not what I expected. You’re actually a good person. Believe it or not, you’re the only one who insisted I go see my dad. Not even Emma made me do that. You stick by me, make me pull my head out of my ass when I’m about to do something stupid, and I uh… I’m, uh…” He blows out a breath. “I’m glad we’re partners.”

“I’m glad we’re friends.” I pat him on his good shoulder.

“Me, too.” We clear our throats as the moment grows awkward. “Do you really think Kayla can do better?”

“Yeah, I do.” And that sucks.

“Then be the guy she deserves.”

“I’m trying.” I shake my head and admit my biggest fear. “I don’t know how to be better than I am.”

“What’s something she loves more than anything?”

I immediately think of the necklace. “She lost her grandmother’s necklace somewhere in her old apartment. We couldn’t find it when we moved. It’s the only thing she has from her grandmother. She won’t let me buy her a new one.”

“Find it,” he states, like it’s that easy. “We’re TREX. Tactical retrieval experts. We find things. It’s what we do. Find that necklace for her.”

“If I can’t?”

He grins. “That doesn’t sound like the TREX field agent I know. You can and will.”

“I can and will. The building has been condemned, so it’s not like anyone’s going in there anytime soon. I don’t work Saturday. I’ll do it then.” I glance around and notice a car sitting across the street. Why does it look familiar? When it comes to me, I stiffen. It’s the same car that nearly clipped me last week. Am I being followed?

Ryan picks up on my body language. “What is it?”

“That car.” I nod. “Do you recognize it?”

“No.” He brings up his phone and snaps a picture. The car pulls away from the curb and speeds off. “Maybe we should go back inside.”

“Yeah, good idea.” I grab the handles and turn the chair toward the door. TREX will want to know about this. “Make sure you get that pic to Bailey.”

“Already sent. It could be nothing.”

“That, it could.” We both know better. Someone has been following me. It doesn’t take a trained intel agent to figure out who.

Murphy must be checking up on me. I’m not sure how I feel about that. He’s either making sure his protégé doesn’t have any skeletons in his closet, or he’s got something else planned.

I really hope it’s the first one.