You never forget the place where you grew up. It takes on mythical proportions, and we unconsciously look for something in our home to bring back that same warmth.
—HAMMER GIRL BLOG
The pizza for dinner had been ordered, and Shauna had texted Marilyn to let her know they were back in town. If she wanted to talk to Grayson about Brenna, it needed to be before Alex arrived. It was so surreal to see the brother she thought was dead sitting on the sofa in her living room. If she closed her eyes, she could see him as a small boy, his hair sticking up at the back from a swipe with a sticky hand. He used to wear Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle shirts, and the TV show constantly played at the house.
Did he even remember that now? Shauna curled her fingers around her warm coffee mug and went to sit in a chair across from the sofa. Zach was making a fresh pot of coffee, and Ellie was looking at some computer files with Grayson on the sofa.
“I’m so glad you’re here, Grayson.” She struggled to speak past the choking sensation in her throat. “I was just remembering your Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle shirts you used to wear.”
His eyes held a quizzical light. “Funny you should say that. I still like them, and I’m the first in line to see one of their movies.” He glanced at Ellie. “Ellie took me to the parking lot where the grocery store used to be.”
“Did you remember anything?”
He shook his head. “I wondered if you’d mind telling me everything you remember.”
“I was about eight.” She launched into her memories of that terrible day.
“Mommy, I want to go play.” Shauna tugged her hand out of her mother’s grip and took hold of Connor’s hand. “I’ll look out for Connor.” It was her responsibility to take care of her baby brother, who was six years younger.
The market had tables with blocks and other toys in the back corner of the building, and it was the best way to keep Connor happy. He liked to grab boxes off the shelves.
Her mother was the most beautiful person in the world, even with her belly sticking out. Her hair was the color of the night, and she was always smiling. Shauna sometimes put her ear on Mommy’s tummy to see if the new baby would talk to her, but she never heard anything other than gurgling. Little Peanut was supposed to be here any time, and Shauna was hoping for a baby sister just because she didn’t have one.
Mommy touched her head. “Okay, stay in the play enclosure. I’ll come get you when I’m ready to check out. I have to get a lot of groceries so it might be a little while.”
That was just fine with Shauna. She led Connor through the aisles of canned goods and bags of chips and somehow kept him from throwing himself to the floor in a temper tantrum. Mommy said all kids who were two had those temper tantrums, but Shauna hated it when he did it in the store.
She and her brother hopped onto the small, plastic teeter-totter. He shrieked with laughter as Shauna bounced down and lifted his small rear end into the air.
But in the next moment, she went catapulting off the end. She bounced to her feet. “You pushed too hard.”
But Connor was on the floor too. And the carpet was moving. There was some kind of low rumble that made Shauna want to hide under the small table covered with puzzles. Was it a T rex about to come eat them? She wasn’t supposed to watch scary movies, but she’d seen a little bit of Jurassic Park last week at a friend’s house. The shaking intensified and threw her and Connor to the ground.
She hugged her brother as Connor began to cry. “Mommy!” His scream hurt Shauna’s ear.
Then their mother was there. She covered them both with her body and tried to soothe them. “It’s going to be okay. Stay still.”
Connor’s sobs began to calm until the ceiling came down in big chunks. Shauna peeked past her mother’s arm and saw blue sky above. What was happening? She was too frightened to even cry. Pieces of the ceiling hung over them like some kind of tent, and there were only small tunnels here and there.
Her mother gave a strange oomph sound, then didn’t move. Shauna tried to shake her, but she didn’t respond.
“Mommy, Mommy!” Connor’s wails sounded weak, and Shauna saw red on his forehead.
“Mommy!” She tried again to get her mother to open her eyes, and finally Mommy stirred a little and looked at her. “Mommy, you scared me.”
Mommy licked a bit of blood away at the corner of her mouth. “My good girl. Lie still. It’s an earthquake. Someone will come to help us soon.”
The rumbling that seemed to last forever finally stopped. “Can I get up, Mommy?”
Her mother winced as she moved her arm far enough for Shauna to crawl out. She turned and helped her brother up too. He had white dust in his hair, and the blood on his forehead caked it.
Her mother’s eyes started to close again. “I can’t move, honey. There is something on top of me. We have to wait for help.”
“I’ll get help!” Shauna climbed through the tunnels formed by the concrete and fallen beams, sometimes coming to a dead end until she retraced her path and found another way. She saw a man with a green shirt lying motionless on the floor with blood on his head. She was afraid to get closer, and her chest started to feel tight. She had to find help.
She crawled through the tunnels until she found a woman seated in the crumbled concrete with her head cradled in her arms. Shauna touched her wrist. “My mommy is trapped. Can you help her?”
The woman had blonde hair and looked friendly, and she put her hand on Shauna’s arm. “Where is she, honey? I’m a paramedic.”
Shauna pointed. “Back in the play area with my little brother. It’s not easy to get there, though. I can show you.”
The woman peered through the tunnel Shauna had exited. “I think the worst of it is over, but there might be aftershocks. We’re trapped here until help comes.”
Shauna led the way back and only went down the wrong tunnel once before emerging into the small, cramped space where her mother lay with Connor.
Shauna pointed out her mother, who wasn’t moving. “There she is.”
The paramedic lady made her way to Mommy and touched her shoulder. “Let me see if I can get this beam off your legs.”
She grabbed another broken piece of wood and propped it under the big beam on a piece of concrete. Grunting, she pushed on the thing until the big beam rolled off Mommy.
Shauna’s mommy cried out a little and put her hand to her tummy. “I think the baby’s coming.”
Shauna backed away and reached for Connor’s hand. He didn’t move his fingers. Maybe he was sleeping. It was dark by the time she heard a baby cry. The paramedic lady soothed the baby, then everything fell silent.
Shauna blinked and looked into her brother’s face. “We were stuck there for two days. I think our mom died as soon as Brenna was born. I named her and held her, but Mom never spoke. The paramedic found some formula and bottles in the debris and managed to feed Brenna. I heard her cry a couple of times. There were some other earthquakes, aftershocks, and another beam fell on you. I stayed with you until help came. I thought you would die before anyone got there. You didn’t cry, just moaned. Dad found me at the triage center, but he never found you and Brenna. I told him you both died, but I didn’t see it. I just felt it.”
His face was unreadable, but she knew this had to hit him hard.
Listening to his sister recount the details of the night their mother died brought the tragedy closer, and Grayson could almost feel the plaster dust choking his throat and the pain in his stomach.
“I-I sort of remember my stomach hurting. And the taste of blood.”
Shauna’s green eyes widened. “You had blood coming from your mouth, and you held your stomach and moaned.”
Zach brought in the coffee carafe and refilled her cup. “I’d forgotten what you said about the paramedic who helped when Brenna was born. Do you remember her holding the baby? It sounds like maybe she took care of her after the birth.”
“She did. I wanted to hold her, but she only let me for a minute, then she took her back. She said she was too fragile.”
Grayson could almost hear a baby crying. “I don’t really remember being at the hospital or even when my parents took me home with them. You’d think I’d have some kind of memory of that, wouldn’t you? You haven’t said much about our dad.”
Shauna didn’t meet his eyes. “H-He wasn’t much of a father. And a few weeks ago I found out he caused the earthquake.”
Grayson’s gut roiled as he listened to Shauna recount the discovery of what their father had done. “He sounds like a horrible person.”
Shauna’s eyes filled. “I pretty much raised myself. I can’t tell you how happy it makes me to know you had good parents.”
Did good parents lie to their kid for years? Grayson needed to examine how he felt about what they’d done. It explained so much about his mother in particular. Approval from his dad had come readily, but his mother’s praise had been sparing, and he always felt he didn’t quite measure up to her expectations. Izzy had been her darling, the smart, beautiful daughter. He suspected his mother had never fully accepted him as her son. Had his dad been the one insistent on adopting him? He wished he could ask, but he wouldn’t want to drive a wedge between his parents.
Ellie held up her mug for a refill. “There’s no record of Brenna being taken to the hospital?”
Zach shook his head. “I’ve talked to every possible official out there. That’s how I found Grayson, but no one seems to have seen or even heard of Brenna. Now I’m wondering about the paramedic. I need to find her. She should know what happened to Brenna.”
“How will you do that?” Having one new sister was more than Grayson could handle right now. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to meet a sister who had no memories of either of them.
Zach shrugged. “I can get a list of paramedics working that year. I should be able to tell by ages and appearance. Someone has to know of her. She was blonde, right?” He headed to the kitchen and put down the carafe before rejoining them.
Shauna nodded. “I thought she was a little older than Mom, who was about thirty, so she was maybe in her midthirties.” She rubbed her head. “She wore a black uniform, and I saw the patch on the shirt that said Lavender Tides EMS.”
Zach dropped into the empty chair. “That gives me a lot to go on if you remember she worked for Lavender Tides EMS. I thought maybe I’d have to check Port Townsend and Port Angeles.”
The topic was making Grayson more and more uncomfortable. There was so much of his background that he didn’t know. Did he even want to? Maybe it would have been better if Shauna had never found him. Did they have the right to disrupt Brenna’s life too?
Grayson shifted on the sofa. “What if she’s perfectly happy the way she is? Brenna, I mean. She could be married and happy. Have you thought of the disruption you’ll be bringing to her if you find her?”
Shauna’s green eyes looked a little sad. “Do you wish we’d never found you, Grayson?”
“I don’t know,” he admitted. “My life is pretty topsy-turvy right now.”
She looked down at her hands. “If we find her, we’ll check out her situation before we talk to her. Just like we did with you.”
He knew she was hurt, but he wasn’t sure how to heal the sudden awkward silence. “I think I need some air.” He rose and rushed for the door. He snatched his laptop off the counter on his way out.