Chapter 28
Bailey
I woke up late with a pounding headache. After the unexpected turn my evening had taken with Darren, I had chosen to end the night by getting drunk alone at a bar and forget about my troubles. Somehow, I ended up back safely in my apartment in my bed, without much of a recollection at all.
My troubles were slowly coming back to me the longer I stayed awake. I looked on the other side of the bed, around my entire bedroom, and finally in the living room. I realized that Darren wasn’t there. He had either stayed wholly true to his word and hopped on a plane to Atlanta, or he’d just gone to a hotel or somewhere to cool down.
I went on Facebook, and my curiosity got the best of me. I looked on Darren’s page, and I deduced that he checked in at Atlanta about two hours ago. He was gone.
It was strange to look down at Emilia, knowing that the last person to handle her was Darren. I was tempted to play her for old times’ sake, but I didn’t even want to move her from where Darren had placed her.
I went out into the kitchen, looking for something to eat. I opened the fridge, and my heart sunk again: I was staring at our stacks of leftovers from Fuego Caliente, and the argument came screaming back at me.
I wanted to get rid of all the evidence of his having come to Memphis. I would save moving Emilia for last and begin by devouring our leftovers from the restaurant.
I hadn’t eaten anything when I arrived back at the house, and I all I had to eat before that was nachos and tequila. So, I had a massive void in my stomach that needed to be filled as quickly as possible.
I finished off our appetizer quesadillas which were good, but not as good as when it was fresh. I tried to eat the rest of my taco plate, but the meal got soppy and had morphed into a slimy mess. All that was left were his enchiladas, which I ate all but one of.
I went to the bathroom; mostly out of fear that I was going to vomit up some of the food I’d just eaten. While in there, I took the liberty of taking down Darren’s towel and putting away the ‘male soaps.’
Once I knew it was safe to cross into other thresholds, I kept up my inspection of the apartment. I found a phone charger that wasn’t mine, as well as one of his shirts. I wanted to get rid of them, but for whatever reason, I wrapped the phone charger in the shirt and put it in the closet.
Then, I returned to my bed, where I lounged and put on the TV just to have noise on to distract me from the hangover and my emotional peril.
I looked down at Emilia once again and still couldn’t bring myself to move her back in the closet or lean her against a nearby wall. I’d let her collect so much dust over the last few years. But, in just one day, the dust was cleared, and she seemed brand new again. I didn’t want to ruin it.
Leah was calling me. I considered not answering, but I knew she’d likely call again until I finally picked up.
“Yo,” I said upon answering her call.
“What up, vagina?” asked Leah.
“Uh, please don’t call me that.” I laughed.
“Roger that, vagina,” she said. “Hey, why don’t we meet up for lunch? I’m buying. We’ll only talk about the record deal for a little bit. I’d honestly rather hear more about what happened between you and Darren? I’m not sure I understood your texts.”
“He’s not here anymore.”
“I don’t get it.”
“We got into an argument during dinner last night,” I explained. “I told him he should leave Tennessee. And I guess he did exactly that. He’s not here, and it looks like he checked in at Atlanta this morning.”
“Whoa.” She gasped. “Holy fuck.”
“Yeah, not the way you thought this was going to go, was it?”
“I don’t know what I thought was going to happen with you two lovebirds,” said Leah. “All I know is he wasn’t supposed to leave that early.”
“No, and I’m too hung-over to know whether this is my fault or not.” I groaned.
“Let’s meet for lunch,” she said. “We’ll get a Bloody Mary in you and some food, and you’ll feel better.”
“I’m stuffed, dude,” I told her. “I ate a bunch of Mexican food just now.”
“You ate that after drinking a bunch of booze?” She gasped again. “You’re braver than I thought!”
“Right, so I’m not sure if I’m going to survive,” I said. “But, if I wake up from this food coma I feel coming on. I’ll text you, and we’ll meet up for food or drinks or some shit. What do you say?”
“I say get some rest, sleeping beauty,” said Leah. “Text me when you wake up.”
I didn’t text Leah right after I woke up, but once I was conscious enough, I shot her a text about food. We had a quick few exchanges, which lead us to decide on meeting at Vic’s Waffles. Vic’s had a massive selection of gourmet and signature waffles that I loved scarfing down whenever the need arose, usually after hangovers or on dates.
We sat down quickly and ordered our large platters of breakfast foods the moment our waitress came over. We knew what we wanted before we sat down.
“Haven’t been here in forever,” Leah said.
“I’m ready to get my waffle on and my egg on,” I said while playing with my fork and knife.
“So, are you going to tell me what’s going on, or do I need to ask you ‘What’s wrong?’ Talk to Dr. Leah.”
I was too hung-over to care what I said.
“Darren told me what I already knew,” I began. “He doesn’t like Memphis. He for real is much more comfortable in a place like Rome. I never thought he’d still be in that city. When we first knew each other, I thought he was going to be the one to leave. Isn’t that weird? The path I’m on right now—I expected that to be the journey that Darren went on.”
“Funny how things turn out, huh?” said Leah.
“You’ve got that right,” I agreed. “I couldn’t even ask him to come to Nashville with me. He chewed my head off before I had a chance to get a word in.”
“What set him off?”
“I’m not sure,” I admitted. “The only time that I wasn’t with him recently was when I went and saw you yesterday for a few hours. I feel like something happened in those few hours to poison him against me, and I’m not sure what.”
“Projection, maybe?” Leah pondered. “That’s what I think it is.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, you’re both idiots,” she stated abruptly.
“Thanks?”
“I’ve been telling you this from the beginning: You’re both too damn stubborn,” said a passionate Leah. “He wants you, more than anything else, to want to go back to Rome and have a quaint, fun life in the country near some big cities. You want him, more than anything else, to want to move here to Memphis or over to Nashville with nothing but you waiting for him.”
“Wow, that’s kind of fucked up,” I said.
“It’s nothing personal against you,” she said. “It’s that he has a life out there in Georgia just like you have a life out here. You’re both unwilling to do what either of you wants, and you won’t compromise! Or even let yourselves be heard for a compromise.”
“Leah, it really was like he snapped or something,” I said. “I don’t know what caused it. Earlier yesterday, we were laughing, smiling and saying corny things to each other. A few hours go by where I leave, and he goes driving around Memphis. I wondered if maybe something bad happened to him while he was wandering around.”
“Why wouldn’t he tell you about something like that?”
“I don’t know,” I said holding my head. “When I asked him what was wrong, the only thing he really said clearly to me was that he was thinking about how he was going to have to leave soon. I’d had a similar conversation with him like that before. This time, he just seemed angry.”
“It’s like the five stages of grief,” said Leah matter-of-factly. “When you guys were on the honeymoon part of your reunion, that was the precursor to denial. Once you guys got off that plane, y’all stepped immediately right into denial. You were both going about your businesses, doing whatever. Living it up. Totally ignoring how it isn’t going to work out with you two.”
I nodded, filling in the blanks only seconds before Leah filled them.
“Anger comes next,” said Leah. “That’s where he’s at right now; and, I expect either you are, were, or will be angry quite soon.”
“I’ve been really frustrated and annoyed lately,” I said. “Does that count as anger?”
“Maybe, I’m not sure.”
“So, what comes next—bargaining?” I asked her.
“That’s right. Or, it would have come next if he stayed the whole eight days. It would’ve come in the form of you both bargaining with God so that time would slow down, and the days together could be longer. You’d be wishing that he could stay just another day or another couple of days.”
“Maybe that’s when I could have brought up Nashville,” I said. “Nashville might’ve been a gamble, but I would’ve put all my chips on it. It fits enough of both of our needs plenty, and it is prettier than Memphis. Yeah, Nashville should’ve been brought up in a few days if he was still here.”
“So, since we have to skip bargaining, we hit directly into depression,” said Leah. “It’s not going to be fun, and it’ll emotionally wreck you. But that’s a phase, just like all the other phases. After depression fades away, you end it all with—”
“Acceptance,” I finished. “In theory, once you clear the first four it’s easy to jump the last ledge. I think acceptance might be the hardest one of those to go through for some people.”
“But Darren’s really gone, huh?”
“Yeah, he is. And that’ll likely be the last time I ever see him.”
Leah snorted. I looked at her perplexed. She grinned widely, pursing her lips.
“I’m not a psychic, but I think you’ll probably return to Rome at some point,” she said. “Call it a hunch.”
“You’re wrong, I’m not ever going back,” I said firmly.
“You’re telling me there’s absolutely no reason you would ever want—”
“To set foot in Rome, Georgia again,” I finished. “Yes.”
She raised her eyebrows at me. “Maybe we’re not at depression yet. Sounds like you might still be a little angry.”
“I am angry.”
“Then, let it out! What are you mad about?”
“I’m mad about a lot.”
I looked around, trying to draw inspiration. I didn’t often express my anger, so it was difficult to get into the groove.
“Okay, here’s something that makes me mad when I think about it,” I said. “Did I ever tell you all about when Darren didn’t go with me to Tennessee the first time? I don’t think I did.”
“You said that he likes Rome and doesn’t like big cities,” said Leah. “Got it.”
“No, I’m talking about when Darren and I both were given a golden opportunity in Memphis, and he threw it away.”
“Maybe you didn’t tell me about that.”
“First of all, Darren knew that someday I was going to leave Rome and aspire to better things,” I said. “I told him from eighth grade on about how I was going to move somewhere like Colorado, or northern California, or Orlando. He knew I had dreams, and he knew I was serious about them.
“I had been actively trying to get spotted for years in north Georgia and Atlanta. It didn’t matter what I was singing. It mattered if I was considered hot or not. So, I chose Nashville. But, I looked into it, saw it was too pricey, and I chose Memphis.
“It just so happened that as I was planning the move in my head, and preparing to tell Darren about it, I was contacted by a well-known agency that wanted to represent us. They have a lot of fucking pull. I would jump at the chance now, and it was waved in front of me over six years ago.”
“Holy fuck flips!” said Leah. “Who was it? CAA? United Talent?”
“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you,” I said. “But, the deal came with certain stipulations. The agent that was interested in me was also interested in Darren. He didn’t think we could make it as solo artists, but he envisioned shows similar to ones that Darren and I made together for fun growing up.”
“He wanted you guys together as a dual act?” Leah asked dumbfounded.
“Yeah, he’d seen videos of Darren and I singing and performing together online, and he wanted to sign us both based on the way we’d done an act together.”
“You and he had a deal on the table from a respected agency,” she surmised.
“Right, and he said no,” I told her. “So, I told the agency that we were thrilled and wanted to sign with them right away.”
“Oh,” said Leah, still dumbfounded.
“Yeah, I told them we were both interested, even after Darren had explicitly told me no, and he didn’t want to do it.”
“How would that have worked out?”
“I was hoping that if he’d had a little more time, maybe he’d warm up to the idea and sign the forms with me,” I told her. “But he was livid that I made such a decision like that for him against his wishes without him being present.”
“Yeah, that’s kind of fucked up,” said Leah.
“I couldn’t believe he was saying no to being signed to an agency,” I said, remembering how surreal it felt.
“I’m livid with him for ruining that opportunity for you!” she exclaimed. “I can’t believe that! Why?”
“My dad thought maybe Darren was afraid of success.” I chuckled. “I don’t know if that’s true, but it’s an interesting theory.”
“So, what happened after you told the agency he was down and then he didn’t show up? It didn’t reflect poorly on you in any way, did it?”
“That’s exactly what it did,” I replied. “We were both considered unprofessional, and the agent most interested in us was embarrassed for having come to the bat for us a lot during negotiations. Yeah, that definitely was a setback in my career.”
“Wow, I cannot believe that,” she said still in disbelief.
“He knew how badly I wanted a career in music,” I said through tears. “He played songs with me for years. He posted videos of us online People saw us and wanted to give us an opportunity that almost never comes along.”
Leah scooted closer to me, rubbing my back empathetically.
“Something amazing is going to come along,” she said. “I promise. Don’t be sad over that shit with the agency. That was over six years ago! Don’t be upset over things you can’t change. Focus on what’s ahead of you.”
Suddenly, my mind began to turn inside out, and I started imagining things from a different perspective.
“You were right, you know,” said Leah. “It was a good idea not to sign the contract. I’ve thought about it more, and I’m totally onboard. Let me be your manager!”
A sly grin formed on my face. “On second thought, let’s not write them off yet.”
Just when I thought Leah couldn’t be any more flabbergasted, she proved me wrong.
“Uh?”
“I want Monday’s meeting to happen,” I proclaimed. “I changed my mind. I want to talk to the producers, and I want to sign their contract.”