35
The jet lag didn’t seem to want to leave me alone, so I was awake again early the next morning. Firstly, I called Ma and told her I would meet her off the plane from Geneva at Heathrow on Monday afternoon. Then, at nine o’clock sharp, I called the Berners Bank number Star had left for me.
‘Hello, can I speak to Linda Potter, please?’
‘I’m afraid she’s left,’ said a clipped female voice. ‘Are you the lady that called a couple of days ago?’
‘Yes, I was just . . .’ – I thought quickly – ‘trying to contact her because she’s meant to be coming to my birthday party tonight and I, um, haven’t heard from her.’
‘Well, you’d be best to try her at home.’
‘Yeah, but . . .’ I paused, searching my brain cells for every thriller I’d seen to tell me what to say. ‘I’m at the venue now and she isn’t answering her mobile. I don’t have her landline number with me – have you got it at your end?’
‘Yes, wait a minute.’
I held my breath.
‘It’s . . .’
‘Thanks so much,’ I said, as I wrote the number down. ‘It’s a really special birthday and it wouldn’t be the same without her.’
‘I understand. It’ll probably cheer her up a bit. Bye now.’
‘Bye.’
I did a little wiggle of triumph around my vast sitting room before I collected myself and dialled Linda’s number. My heart was pounding as the line rang, then finally clicked onto an answering machine and I hung up. Then I called Star, as I had no idea what my next step should be.
‘Okay,’ she said. ‘You need her address. Hold on a minute.’
I could hear her chatting in the background with a deep, velvety male voice.
‘Cee, I’m going to pass you over to Orlando, Mouse’s brother. He’s fantastic at playing detective.’
‘Miss Celaeno?’
‘Yes, but call me CeCe.’
‘Goodness, I do wish those blessed with unusual Christian names would actually use them. If anyone but my nephew would even dare call me “Lando”, I should go into a funk for the rest of the year. Now then, Miss Star tells me you need the address of a person.’
‘I do, yes,’ I replied, trying to stifle a giggle at the old-fashioned way he spoke.
‘Well now, I’ve just checked on the computer and the 01233 dialling code tells me your mystery woman hails from Kent. In fact’ – there was a pause as I heard him tap the keys – ‘to be precise, Ashford. A quality little town, which is coincidentally very near to here. So, now I am searching the online electoral register in that area for a Linda Potter. Bear with me, please, while I scroll . . . ah, yes! Here she is. The Cottage, Chart Road, Ashford, Kent.’
‘I’ll text it to you, Cee,’ said Star as she came straight back on the line. ‘Are you going to see her? It’s only an hour’s train ride from Charing Cross station.’
‘She might be away.’
‘Or lying low. Hold on . . .’
I waited as a discussion ensued between Orlando and Star.
Star came back on the line. ‘It’s only a short drive to Ashford from High Weald. What about if we go and stake the house out for you?’
‘You really don’t have to, Sia, it’s not like it’s life or death or anything.’
‘It might be to Ace, Cee. We could check if there’s any sign of an occupant before you traipse down here.’
‘Okay,’ I agreed, wondering whether Star’s life was simply so dull that she had to fill it with weird missions to see a woman neither of us had ever met, on the off chance she could help a man who was in jail for fraud, who never wanted me to darken his doorstep again.
‘We’ll go during our lunch hour,’ said Star. ‘Orlando can be my lookout.’ The two of them giggled like kids on Halloween, so I said my thank yous and left them to it.
Ten minutes later, the doorbell rang. It was the estate agent I’d contacted about selling the apartment.
We shook hands and he wandered around nodding and grunting. Eventually, he came to me and gave a dramatic sigh.
‘What’s the matter?’
‘Well, you must know the state of the property market in London at the moment?’
‘No, I haven’t got a clue.’
‘To put it bluntly, it’s dire.’
And then, the same man who had sold me the apartment in the first place by extolling its virtues proceeded to explain to me why no one else would ever buy it, certainly not at the price I’d bought it for anyway.
‘The market’s flooded with new-build waterside apartments, a third of which are currently standing empty. It’s the subprime market in America that’s doing it, of course, but everything has a knock-on effect.’
Christ!
‘Could you just tell me in plain English what you think I should put the apartment on the market for?’
He did, and I nearly gave him a serious black eye.
‘That’s twenty per cent less than I paid for it!’
‘Sadly, Miss D’Aplièse, the property market is a law unto itself. It relies on sentiment, which, unlike waterside apartments, is in short supply at the moment. It will come back, of course, as it always does in London. If I were you and didn’t need the money, I’d hedge my bets and rent it out.’
We then discussed how much I could rent it out for, which actually, to someone like me, was enough money to keep me in ’roo dinners for years and years. He said his agency would handle everything, so we signed some forms and shook hands. I gave him a spare key and just as I was showing him out, my mobile rang.
‘Sia?’ I said breathlessly.
‘We’re here.’
‘Where’s “here”?’
‘Sitting outside Linda Potter’s house. She’s in.’
‘How do you know?’
‘Orlando knocked on her door, and when she opened it, he announced himself as the local Conservative candidate for the area. I said that the Monster Raving Loony Party might be more applicable . . .’
Howls of laughter ensued down the line. When the two of them had recovered, Star continued. ‘Anyway, I took over from Orlando and introduced myself as his secretary and her face lit up. She told me that she was “once a private secretary to a very important man”.’
‘Oh,’ I said. ‘Was that significant?’
‘Hang on, Cee, let me tell you the rest. I then asked her if she was retired. She nodded and said yes. “Put out to grass before my time,” were her words. Orlando and I think she was got rid of.’
‘Maybe it was just her time to retire?’
‘We reckon she’s not even fifty yet.’
‘Oh,’ I repeated. ‘What do you think I should do?’
‘Come and see her. I can collect you from Ashford station tomorrow, as long as it’s not after three thirty, because that’s when I pick up Rory from school.’
‘You mean you’ll be my wing gunner?’
‘That’s what sisters are for, aren’t they?’
‘Yeah. Thanks, Sia. Bye.’
I started packing up my stuff in the apartment halfheartedly, and as the afternoon wore on, I began to feel that really bad sensation of being alone. Star had her people now, and so did I, except mine were on the other side of the world. I slumped down on the sofa, feeling really low. Then, as if by magic, my mobile rang.
‘Hello?’
After a long crackly pause, a familiar voice said, ‘Cee? It’s me, Chrissie.’
‘Hi! How are you?’ I said.
‘Great, I’m just great. Your grandpa sends his love.’
‘Send my love back. How’s things?’
‘Good, good. I just wanted you to be the first – or, in fact, the second person to know, as I told your grandpa – I just got offered the job at the gallery!’
Chrissie gave a squeal of joy, which made me smile.
‘That’s brilliant news!’
‘I know! Isn’t it? The money’s pathetic, of course, but your sweet grandpa has said I can stay with him until I save up some moolah for my own place. Not joking, Cee, he’s my new BFF, but we both really miss you.’
‘I miss you both too.’
‘So, I’m just about to phone and jack in my job in Broome. D’ya think it’s the right thing to do?’
‘Chrissie, I’m about to jack in my life here in England. Of course it is! It’s what you want to do.’
There was a pause on the line.
‘So you’re definitely coming back?’
‘Course I am,’ I said firmly.
‘Then I will.’
‘What?’
‘Jack in my job, idiot! What about Ace? Have you seen him?’
‘Yeah, yesterday. He’s in a bad way.’
‘Oh, but you’re definitely coming back?’
‘I said so, didn’t I?’
‘Yeah, you did. Listen, this is costing your grandpa a fortune, so I’ll say goodnight. Miss you.’
‘I miss you too.’
I went round the apartment and watered Star’s plants. It was one small thing I could do for her, as she did so much for me. That made me consider my dependency on her, and the way that I had already slipped back into her helping me do the stuff that I wasn’t good at.
Later on in bed, I decided that, if I did go and visit the now infamous Linda, I would do it by myself.
* * *
After the short train journey to Ashford the next morning, I took a taxi to the address Orlando had given me.
‘We’re here, miss,’ said the cabbie, pointing at the house. I asked him to drive past it and turn into the next side road.
‘If I’m not back in ten minutes, you can leave,’ I said, bunging him an extra fiver. ‘I’ll call you later.’
I walked along the road and paused as nonchalantly as I could opposite the house, which stood in a row of similar houses. The Cottage was written on a little wooden sign on the gate. Crossing the road, I saw that the patch of garden fronting the house was immaculate. I opened the gate and walked up the path to ring the bell, trying to work out what I would say. Before I got there, the door flew open.
‘If you’re here to preach to me about supporting you in the local council elections, I’m not interested.’
The woman was about to slam the door but I put my palm out to hold it open.
‘No, I’m CeCe D’Aplièse, Ace’s friend from Thailand.’
‘What?’ The woman peered at me. ‘Good grief! It’s you!’
‘Yes.’ The door was still partially held open by my palm, and as she stood there gaping at me, I took in her brown hair cut into a sensible and unflattering bob, a neat blouse and what Star and I would call an old woman’s skirt, because the material reached to cover just beyond her kneecaps. She was obviously still speechless, so I continued. ‘I just wanted to talk to you.’ I watched her brown eyes leave me, darting left and right outside.
‘How did you find me?’
‘On the electoral register. I saw Ace at the prison. He thinks it was me who gave the newspapers that photo, but it wasn’t. I really believe he’s a good person underneath it all. And’ – I swallowed – ‘he helped me when I needed it, and I just feel like he’s got no friends right now, and he really, really needs some,’ I finished, panting with the effort of trying to say the right thing.
Eventually she nodded.
‘You’d better come in.’
‘Thanks.’ I stepped inside and she slammed the door firmly shut behind us, then locked it.
‘No one else knows you’re here, do they?’
‘No one,’ I confirmed, as I followed her along a narrow hall and into a sitting room where I’d be scared to even think about having a drink because some of the liquid might just spill onto the shiny varnished surface of the coffee table. Even the sofa had had its scatter cushions symmetrically positioned in sharp Vs.
‘Please, sit down. Can I get you a cup of tea?’ the woman asked me.
‘No thanks, I’m fine,’ I said, sitting down gingerly. ‘I’m not staying long.’
Linda sat down in the armchair opposite and stared at me for a bit, then looked away, her eyes suddenly blurry, like she was about to cry.
‘So,’ she breathed, obviously trying to collect herself. ‘You are Anand’s girlfriend?’
It took me a moment to register that she was referring to Ace by his proper name. ‘I wouldn’t go that far, but we kept each other company, yes. By the way, why did he tell me his name was Ace?’
‘It was a nickname he was given on the trading floor because he always wins. Or at least he used to . . . Why exactly are you here?’
‘Look, I just care about him, okay? And one night he mentioned your name. He said, “Linda knows”. I really didn’t understand what he was talking about at the time, but now I do, and I’m about to go to live in Australia, so I thought I owed it to him to find you before I left.’
‘He’s a lovely boy,’ said Linda, after a long pause.
‘Yeah, he is. He let me stay with him when I had nowhere else to go. I don’t even know what I’m meant to ask you, but . . .’
I realised that Linda was far away, staring off into space. So I sat and waited for her to speak.
‘He came over to England when he was thirteen to go to boarding school,’ she said eventually. ‘I was the one that met him off the plane from Bangkok, and took him down to Charterhouse School, which is close to here. He was so small at the time – looked no more than nine or ten – a baby really. He’d recently lost his mother too, yet he was so very brave, didn’t cry when I introduced him to the housemaster, then left him there. It must have been such a shock, leaving Bangkok and coming to boarding school in cold, grey England.’
I watched as Linda paused and sighed deeply, before saying, ‘Young boys can be so cruel, can’t they?’
‘I don’t really know, to be honest. I have five sisters.’
‘Do you indeed?’ She gave me a small smile. ‘Lucky you. I was an only child. Anyway, I used to call him every week, just to check he was all right. He’d always sound jolly on the phone, but I knew things weren’t easy for him. Occasionally, at first, I’d drive over on Sundays and take him out to lunch. We became close, and eventually, with his father’s permission, he came to stay with me during exeats and holidays. However, that’s all in the past.’ Her hands clenched together to match her knees.
We sat in silence for a while, me trying to work this plot out in my tiny mind and not managing to. I was sure Ace had made it clear he hadn’t even known his father, yet Linda had just mentioned him. Was she related to Ace? Was that why she’d cared for him when he was younger?
‘Weren’t you the CEO’s PA at Berners Bank?’ I asked her.
‘I was, yes. As you might already know, quite a lot’s changed there in the past few months. I’m now officially retired.’
‘Oh, that’s nice.’
‘No, it isn’t,’ she hissed. ‘It’s utterly horrendous! I hardly know what to do with myself, being at home all day. Still, I’m sure I’ll get used to it eventually, but it’s quite difficult when a way of life is pulled from you suddenly, isn’t it?’
‘Yes, it is,’ I said with feeling. ‘Is it because the bank’s been bought?’
‘Partly, yes, but David felt it was better if I disappeared into the background.’
‘David?’
‘The CEO. Thirty years I worked for that man, lived for him and my job. And now . . .’ She shrugged. ‘Well, there we are. Are you sure you wouldn’t like a cup of tea?’
‘I’m fine, really. Your boss is still working there, isn’t he?’
‘Oh yes,’ she nodded vehemently. ‘I’ve heard he’s got a new version of me now called Deborah. She’s very . . . blonde, apparently. Not that it matters,’ Linda added hastily. ‘I’m sure she’s very efficient.’
‘Linda,’ I said, thinking that this was really getting us nowhere, other than to make her more upset. ‘What is it you know about Ace? Like, is it anything useful that could help him?’
‘Oh, I know everything about Anand,’ she said slowly. ‘I know exactly how he liked his hair stroked as he fell asleep, that he’s a little deaf in one ear due to a rugby injury, and how he loves my homemade shortbread.’
‘I meant, do you know anything that might help defend him in the coming trial?’ I asked. ‘To, um, reduce his sentence, or anything?’
She bit her lip and her eyes filled with tears once more. ‘Do you know, it’s almost noon and I think I would like a little sherry. Would you?’
‘Er, no thanks.’
She stood up and went to a sideboard from which she extracted a bottle and a very tiny glass that she filled with some brown liquid. ‘Goodness, I haven’t drunk sherry at lunchtime for years. Cheers.’
‘Cheers,’ I replied. For someone who said they didn’t drink much, Linda knocked the glass back pretty quickly.
‘That’s better,’ she said. ‘Goodness, one can understand why people turn to alcohol, especially when they’re under pressure. Was Anand drinking when you saw him in Thailand?’
‘No. Nothing, apart from one glass of champagne on New Year’s Eve.’
‘That’s wonderful. He never was a drinker before he started trading. The problem is, excessive drinking is a rite of passage in the City, and he wanted to fit in with his fellow traders. No one wants to be different, do they? Especially if they are.’
‘No, they don’t.’ I nodded in agreement.
‘I told David right from the start that I thought it was a mistake to employ Anand at the bank after he left school, but he could see how gifted he was already. Anand didn’t want to do it. He told me that, sitting right where you are now, but David ruled his world,’ she sighed.
‘Are you saying that your boss forced Ace into being a trader?’ I queried, even further confused.
‘Put it this way: Anand was so in awe of him, he’d have done anything David said.’
‘Why?’
Linda’s eyebrows knitted together in a frown. ‘Surely he told you? Otherwise you wouldn’t be here.’
‘Told me what?’
‘David is Anand’s father.’
‘Oh,’ I gulped, trying to take in the ramifications of what she’d just said. ‘No, he didn’t tell me.’
‘I, oh, dearie me, I presumed he had . . .’ Linda buried her face in her hands. ‘No one else knows, you see, about that . . . blood tie.’
‘Really? Why not?’
‘David was paranoid about his reputation in the City. Didn’t want anyone to know he had an illegitimate son. And, of course, he was already married when Anand was born, had a young child with his wife.’
‘Right. Does Ace know David’s his dad?’
‘Of course he does, which was why he was constantly trying to please him. David did the proper thing to assuage his guilt by bringing his son over to England and educating him at a top British school when he heard Anand’s mother had died. Then he offered him a job at the bank, as I said, on the condition that no one knew of their real relationship to each other.’
‘You mean, David was ashamed of his mixed-race child?’
‘He prided himself on being the quintessential English gentleman. And he’s always presented himself as the perfect family man.’
‘Jesus,’ I said under my breath, pinching myself to remember that it was 2008, and this kind of thing could still be happening. ‘So, Ace was desperate to impress his dad? Even to the point of trading fraudulently?’
‘It was clear from the beginning that Anand was as talented as his father had once been, which was why David had employed him. Within the space of two years, he had risen through the ranks and was Berners’ most successful trader. There were only three words that mattered on the trading floor: profit, profit and profit. And Anand was making more than any of them.’
‘Was his dad proud of him?’
‘Yes, extremely, but then Anand had a run of bad luck and rather than taking it calmly, he panicked. And that’s when I suspect he started to cheat. The problem is, even if you say you’ll take a risk just once to cover your losses, and then don’t get caught, you’ll do it again. It becomes addictive, and Anand was also addicted to his father’s praise and attention.’
‘Christ, it’s just so sad.’ I shook my head, really feeling for Ace. ‘Linda, do you think David knew what Ace was up to? I mean, surely he must have done? He lost so much money.’
Linda stood up to pour herself another glass of sherry and took a hefty gulp. ‘The truth is, I don’t know for sure, but what I do know is that David should be standing by him now. It’s his son, for crying out loud! And I wouldn’t be at all surprised if David did know the trouble Anand was in. He is the CEO after all. I’ve even wondered since whether he slipped Anand some cash to help him conveniently “disappear” to Thailand.’
‘Wow, what a mess,’ I sighed.
‘It is, yes. My poor, poor boy. I . . .’ Linda’s eyes filled with further tears. ‘I never had children of my own, but I loved Anand like my own son, CeCe. I was there when his mother and father weren’t, helping him through those difficult teenage years.’
‘Then why haven’t you been to see him in prison?’
‘David said I couldn’t. He ordered me to keep away.’
‘In case someone traced your involvement with Ace and David, and discovered the truth about their relationship?’
‘Yes, although there’s no written proof – David’s name isn’t even on Anand’s birth certificate.’
I felt a surge of anger rise inside me. ‘There are genetic tests. I’m sorry to say this, but David sounds like a really serious’ – I chose the most delicate word I could think of – ‘prat. Ace needs all the support he can get just now. He’s, like, totally alone, going through this all by himself.’
‘You’re right about David,’ Linda said darkly. ‘It’s taken thirty years to remove the blinkers from my eyes. The problem was, I adored him from the first moment I started as a junior typist at the bank and when he eventually employed me as his PA, it was the happiest day of my life. I gave him everything. Wherever I was, whatever time of day or night, I was there to sort out and organise his life. And not just his, but that arrogant, patronising woman he married and his two spoilt children who have never done a serious day’s work in their lives. I was in love with him, you see,’ she confessed. ‘What a cliche I am: the secretary in love with her boss. And now, he’s tossed me aside along with Anand. Do you know, he didn’t even have the grace to tell me himself when the redundancies were announced after the bank was bought by Jinqian for a pound? I was sent to HR, along with the rest of the employees.’
By now, I wanted to throttle this arsehole with my own bare hands. ‘It’s because you knew too much.’
‘I was the shadow on his shoulder, the reminder of what he truly was. He’s Anand’s father, CeCe. He should be there for him in his hour of need, and he knows it.’
‘Have you ever thought about telling the media the truth?’
‘Of course I have, constantly! I dream about the look on David’s face if I did!’ She gave a small chuckle and drained the rest of her sherry.
‘And?’
‘I . . . just can’t. I’m simply not a spiteful person. And that’s what it would be – spite, because it wouldn’t achieve anything positive, apart from David’s public humiliation.’
‘That’s quite a lot in my book,’ I commented.
‘No, CeCe. Try to understand that the one thing I have left is my integrity. And I will not allow him to compromise that as well.’
‘But what about Ace?’ I insisted. ‘I understand that you’re saying he did all the bad stuff of his own accord, but surely, when it comes to the trial, if someone was there to explain why it happened, it might help? After all, you’ve known him since he was a young boy, and you worked at the bank, so you could be a character witness. I’m willing to be one!’
‘That’s sweet of you, dear. The problem is that my redundancy payout is dependent on me keeping my mouth shut. I had to sign a clause agreeing that I wouldn’t speak to either the media or the barrister defending Anand.’
‘That’s blackmail, Linda!’ I exclaimed.
‘I’m aware of that, but without seeming selfish, that redundancy money is all I have to live on until I can draw my pension in seven years’ time.’
‘Surely you can get another job? I mean, it sounds like you were a great PA.’
‘Oh CeCe, you are sweet, dear, but I’m forty-eight. Bosses want young women, not middle-aged ones like me.’
‘Can’t you, er, blackmail David back? I mean, you’ve worked for him for all these years. You must have some stuff on him.’
‘I certainly do. The things I could tell the newspapers about. For a start, his endless affairs, with me covering for him if his wife called the office. And his extravagance was breathtaking – only the best would do, and he’d move heaven and earth to get it. Do you know, even on the day that his precious bank was about to be sold for a pound, he sent me over to Hatton Garden to pick up a pearl he’d been hunting down for years. He’d finally traced it and had it sent to London by private jet. I took a million pounds in cash in a black cab to meet the middleman. David was like a child on Christmas Day when I returned to his office with it. I watched him open the box and take the pearl out. He held it up to the light, and admittedly, it was huge, and a pretty rose colour, but David looked more in love with that jewel than I’ve ever seen him look with a human being.’
I swallowed hard, then stared at Linda in shock. Surely it couldn’t be what I thought it might be . . . ?
‘Er, where did the pearl come from? Do you know?’
‘Australia. Apparently, it had been lost for years.’
‘Did it . . . did David say it had a name? Like, because it was so special?’
‘Yes, he called it the Roseate Pearl. Why?’
The spirits find greedy men and killem them . . .
‘Oh, nothing.’ I had a horrible urge to giggle hysterically, but Linda wouldn’t understand, so I controlled myself. ‘I really have to go now, but why don’t I give you my number and we can keep in touch?’
‘Yes, I’d like that,’ she said. We exchanged numbers, then I stood up and walked swiftly to the front door before the dam burst inside me.
‘It’s been good to talk to someone who understands, and who cares for Anand like I do,’ she said, laying a hand on my arm. ‘Thank you for coming.’
‘Please, Linda, even if you can’t go to court to speak up for him, think about going to see Ace in prison. He needs you. You’re . . . well, basically, his mum.’
‘Yes, you’re right. I will think about it, dear. Goodbye now.’
Outside, I walked along the road and down a narrow lane until I found a green. I sat down on a bench, and howled with what I knew was inappropriate laughter, but I couldn’t help myself. If it was the cursed Roseate Pearl that Ace’s dad had bought, which it definitely sounded like it was, then it could not have gone to a more deserving home.
Not that I wanted him to die, of course . . . well, not much, anyway.
I shivered in the cold and reached for my mobile to call the taxi driver. When the car arrived, I climbed inside, and called the Scrubs to book myself in for another visit.
When I arrived home, I realised I felt far calmer about the Ace situation. I had the strongest feeling that the Ancestors had everything in hand and David Rutter’s destiny had already been set.
* * *
When I went to meet Ma at Heathrow, she emerged from Arrivals, looking elegant despite her long journey. I pushed through the crowd towards her and gave her a tight hug.
‘Chérie, you look wonderful!’ she said as she kissed me on both cheeks.
‘Thanks, I’m feeling pretty good as it happens,’ I said, and linked my arm through hers. We took a taxi to Battersea, and I led her into my apartment.
‘Mon dieu! This is stunning.’ Ma stood in the centre of the sitting room and waved her arms to indicate the enormous space.
‘It’s cool, isn’t it?’
‘Yes, but Star tells me you are selling it?’
‘Not any longer, no. The estate agent tells me that property prices have tanked round here since I bought it, so I’m going to rent it out. The agent called earlier today. He’s already found tenants for the apartment, so that’s good. Can I take your coat?’
‘Thank you.’ Ma removed it and handed it to me, then sat down and smoothed out her tweed skirt. She looked utterly immaculate as always and, comfortingly, exactly the same.
‘Can I get you a cup of tea?’ I asked her.
‘I would love one. I refuse to eat or drink anything on a plane.’
‘I don’t blame you,’ I said as I went to switch on the kettle. ‘Though I might have starved on the way to Australia and back if I hadn’t.’
‘I still cannot believe you made all those journeys by yourself. I know how much you hate flying. I am proud of you, chérie.’
‘Well, life is all about facing your fears, isn’t it?’
‘It is. And you have made amazing progress.’
‘I’m trying.’ I took a cup of her favourite Darjeeling tea over to the coffee table and sat next to her on the sofa. ‘It’s great to see you. Thanks for coming, Ma.’
‘Well, even if Star hadn’t invited me to England previously, I would not have let you go off to Australia without visiting you. I’m so glad I have. And it’s good to be away from Atlantis for a few days. So . . .’ She took a sip of the tea. ‘Tell me everything.’
‘There’s a lot to tell,’ I said.
‘We have plenty of time. Just start at the beginning.’
So I did, feeling embarrassed and awkward at first, because I realised that I’d never really been alone with Ma without Star beside me. But this was another step I had to take, now that I was my own person. Ma was the best listener I could have hoped for, and held my hand at the emotional bits, which was a good thing, because there were quite a few of them.
‘Oh my, it is quite a journey that you have been on, chérie. And I would love to meet your grandfather,’ Ma said after I’d brought her up to date.
‘He’s special, yes.’ I paused then, because I needed to find the right words and not be clumsy with them. ‘You know, Ma, all this stuff – what Star, Maia, Ally and me have been through – has really made me think.’
‘Has it?’
‘Yes. About what being a parent actually is. Like, is the blood tie the most important thing?’
‘What do you think, chérie?’
‘That it was really, really great to meet my grandfather, but I’ve only added to the family I already have. I didn’t need or want to replace you and Pa with a new version. It’s a bit like my friend Ace – the one who’s in prison; he had a mum in Thailand who he really loved, but she died. Then he got another mum here, just by chance, who’s really rooted for him, like you do for all of us sisters.’
‘Thank you, chérie. I try my best.’
‘Ma . . .’ This time, it was me who reached for her hand. ‘Hasn’t it been really hard for you to see some of us going off and finding our other families? I mean, you’ve brought us up since we were babies.’
‘Ah, CeCe, you know that you are the only sister who has thought to ask me that question? I appreciate it, chérie. And yes, you are right. I watched you all grow from the babies you were, and was honoured by the trust that your father had placed in me. For any parent, it is difficult to watch their young fly the nest, and perhaps find new families of their own from the past or in the present. But the fact that we are sitting here together tonight, that you wanted to see me, is enough for me, truly.’
‘I’ll always want to see you, Ma. You’re just . . . ace!’
We looked at each other, not sure whether to laugh or cry, so we decided to laugh. And then we hugged and I rested my head on her shoulder like I had done when I was little.
I looked at my phone and saw it was gone nine o’clock, and realised that Ma must be completely starving. I phoned for a takeaway, and we tucked into a delicious Thai green curry.
‘So, you leave for Australia on Wednesday?’ Ma asked.
‘Yes. Ma,’ I blurted out suddenly, ‘can I ask you something?’
‘Of course you can, chérie.’
‘Do you think Pa chose each of us girls specially, or was it random? I mean, like in my case, how come he happened to be in Broome not long after I’d been born and needed a home?’
Ma put down her spoon and fork. ‘Chérie, really, I would answer that question if I could. As you know, your father travelled a lot and I am not aware that there was a plan. Every baby that arrived at Atlantis was a surprise to me, especially you, CeCe. Why, only six months before, Star had joined us. Yes,’ she nodded, taking a sip of wine. ‘You were the biggest surprise of all.’
‘Was I?’
‘You were.’ Ma smiled at me. ‘I also think that we humans wish to believe there is a plan. And perhaps there is, but in my experience, it isn’t always “man-made”.’
‘What you’re saying is that fate – or a higher power – leads you there?’
‘Yes.’ Ma nodded vigorously. ‘I do believe it’s true. It happened to me, for sure.’ Ma used her napkin to wipe her mouth, then surreptitiously wiped her eyes. ‘The kindness of strangers,’ she whispered, then took a deep breath. ‘So, would you excuse me if I retire for the night? From what Star has told me, we have a big evening tomorrow.’
‘You mean the party for Star’s relative?’
‘Yes, and of course, your leaving party,’ Ma reminded me.
‘Oh yeah.’ I’d been so caught up in everything, I kept forgetting that I was flying off for good in little more than twenty-four hours’ time.
‘And I will meet her Mouse for the first time,’ Ma continued. ‘Have you met him yet?’
‘Once, yes. He was . . . a nice guy,’ I managed. ‘I’m really happy that Star is happy.’
Upstairs in the spare bedroom that had never been slept in, it felt really weird to show Ma where the towels were and how the shower worked, as if I was the grown-up and her the child.
‘Thank you, CeCe. You have been a wonderful hostess, and I hope that one day, you will invite me to visit you in Australia.’
‘Course I will,’ I smiled. ‘Anytime, Ma.’
‘Goodnight, chérie.’ Ma kissed me on both cheeks. ‘Sleep well.’