5
Over the following few days, Ace and I settled into a routine at the palace. He got up really early and me really late, then in the afternoons I made myself scarce, traipsing back to Railay Beach so I wouldn’t bother him. I’d told my Railay crowd I was staying in a hotel along the beach and they didn’t question it. Consequently, Ace and I only brushed shoulders at suppertime. He seemed to expect me there, and that was fine by me as the food was fantastic. He didn’t speak much, but because I was used to Star’s quietness, it felt familiar and strangely comforting.
After three days of living a few metres from him, I realised I wasn’t in any danger of him jumping me. I knew I just wasn’t the kind of girl men fancied, and besides, if I was honest, I’d never really enjoyed sex anyway.
I’d lost my virginity nine years ago right here on Railay Beach. I’d had a couple of beers, which was always dangerous for me, and stayed up way after Star had gone to bed. The guy had been a gap year student – Will, I think his name was – and we’d gone for a walk on the beach, and the kissing had been quite nice. That had led to us being horizontal and going all the way, which had hurt a bit, but not much. I’d woken up the next morning with a hangover, unable to believe that that was what all the fuss was about.
I’d done it since a couple of other times, on different beaches with different bodies, to see if it might get better, but it never did. I was sure that millions of women would tell me I was missing something, but I couldn’t miss what I’d never had, so I was fine about it.
It was interesting that even though Star and I had always been pretty much joined at the hip, the one thing we had never confided in each other about was sex. I had no idea whether she was still a virgin or not. At boarding school, the girls used to chatter in intimate detail in bed at night about boys they fancied and how far they’d gone. Yet Star and I had remained silent on the subject, to them and each other.
Perhaps we’d felt that any kind of close physical relationship with a man would have been a betrayal. Well, I had anyway.
Leaving my room and not bothering to lock it, as I knew the invisible cleaning fairy would swoop in the moment I left, I wandered down to the terrace where Ace was waiting for me.
‘Hi, CeCe.’ He stood up briefly as I arrived and sat down. He’d obviously been taught manners and I appreciated the gesture. He poured some fresh water from the jug for us both and surveyed me.
‘New top?’
‘Yeah. I haggled and got it down to two hundred and fifty baht.’
‘Ridiculous really, isn’t it? When lots of people buy similar in a designer store in London for hundreds of times that price.’
‘Well, I never would.’
‘I once had a girlfriend who didn’t think twice about spending thousands on a handbag. It wouldn’t have been so bad if it was something for life, but then the new season stuff would come in, and she’d buy another new bag, and the old one would be put in a cupboard with the rest and never used again. Mind you, I once caught her standing there admiring her collection.’
‘Maybe they were works of art to her. Whatever floats your boat, but it sure doesn’t float mine. Anyway, you men are just as bad with your cars,’ I added as tonight’s feast was delivered to the table by the maid.
‘You’re right,’ he said, as the maid slid away as silently as she had arrived. ‘I’ve owned a series of very flash cars just because I could.’
‘Did it make you feel good?’
‘It did at the time, yes. I liked the sound of the engines. The more noise it made, the better it was.’
‘Boys with their toys . . .’
‘Girls with their pearls,’ he countered with a smile. ‘Now, shall we eat?’
We did so in companionable silence. When I’d had my fill I sat back contentedly. ‘I’m going to miss this when I’m a simple backpacker again in Australia. It’s like a slice of heaven here. You’re really lucky.’
‘I guess you never really appreciate what you’ve got until you’ve lost it, do you?’
‘Well, you haven’t lost this. And this is amazing.’
‘Not yet . . . no.’ He gave one of his deep sighs. ‘What are you doing for New Year’s Eve tomorrow night?’
‘I haven’t really thought about it. Jack’s invited me to the restaurant to see in the New Year with the rest of the crowd. Want to come?’
‘No thank you.’
‘What are you doing?’ I asked out of politeness.
‘Nothing. I mean, it’s a man-made calendar, and if we lived in, say, China, we’d be celebrating at a different time of year.’
‘True, but it’s still a ritual, isn’t it? When you’re meant to be celebrating and end up feeling like a real loser if you’re sat there alone, getting texts from your mates at amazing parties.’ I grinned.
‘Last year, I was at an amazing party,’ Ace admitted. ‘It was in St Tropez at a club. We’d come in by boat and the hostesses were opening bottles of champagne that cost hundreds of euros each and spraying them all over the place like it was water. At the time, I thought it was great, but I was drunk and most things seem fantastic then, don’t they?’
‘To be honest, I’ve not been drunk very often. Alcohol doesn’t suit me, so most of the time I steer clear.’
‘Lucky you. I – and I guess most people – use it to forget. To ease the stress.’
‘Yeah, it certainly takes the edge off stuff.’
‘I did some really stupid things when I was boozing,’ Ace confessed. ‘So now I don’t go there. I haven’t had a drink for the past two and a half months, so I’d probably get drunk on a beer. It used to take me at least a couple of bottles of champagne and a few vodka chasers to even begin to feel that edge blunt.’
‘Wow. Well, I do like the odd glass of champagne on special occasions – birthdays and stuff.’
‘Tell you what.’ He leant forward and stared at me, his blue eyes suddenly alive. ‘What do you say to opening a bottle of champagne at midnight tomorrow? As you point out, it’s for special occasions and it is New Year’s Eve, after all. But, we limit ourselves to one glass each.’
I frowned and he saw it immediately.
‘Don’t worry, I was never an alcoholic. I came off completely the minute I realised what I was doing. Equally, I don’t want to be the sad person in the corner that refuses a drink and then everyone assumes is a member of AA. I want to enjoy it, but not to need it. Do you understand?’
‘I do, but—’
‘Trust me; one glass each. Deal?’
What could I say? He was my host, and I couldn’t deny him, but I’d have my rucksack packed and at the ready in case things got out of hand.
‘Deal,’ I agreed.
* * *
As I sat on Railay Beach the next afternoon, I could feel the pre-Christmas electricity back in the air as all the hotels set up their verandas for the evening’s festivities. Fed up with staring at the pathetic charcoal sketch I’d made of the limestone pillars, I stood up and walked across the sand towards the Railay Beach Hotel.
‘Hi, Cee, how’s it going?’
‘Fine,’ I said to Jack, who was placing glasses on a long trestle table. He looked far perkier than last time I’d seen him a few days ago, propping up the bar with his umpteenth beer. The reason why appeared behind him and put a possessive hand on his shoulder.
‘We short of forks,’ Nam said, glancing at me and giving me her usual death stare.
‘Think I got some spare ones in the kitchen.’
‘Go get them now, Jack. Wanna set up our table for later.’
‘On my way. You coming tonight?’ Jack asked me.
‘I might pop down later on, yeah,’ I replied, knowing that ‘later on’ he wouldn’t know if Jesus Christ himself was ordering drinks at the bar.
Jack began to follow Nam into the kitchen, then paused and turned back. ‘By the way, a mate of mine thinks he knows who your mystery man on the beach is. He’s gone off to Ko Phi Phi for the New Year, but he’s gonna tell me more when he gets back.’
‘Right.’
‘See ya, Cee,’ he said as he trudged off towards the kitchen, following Nam with his tray like a little lamb behind Bo Peep. That big, butch man who could scale a rock face faster than anyone I’d ever met . . .I just hoped I never treated any future partner of mine like that. But I’d seen so many men being bossed about by demanding females, maybe they liked it.
Did I boss Star around? Is that why she left?
I hated my brain for planting the thought in my head, so I decided to ignore it and get on with a day that was meant to herald new beginnings. I comforted myself that whatever Jack’s mate had to tell him about Ace was bound to be nothing. Out here, on a peninsula in the middle of nowhere, the fact that someone had eaten an ice cream instead of a lolly was news. Small communities thrived on gossip and people like Ace who kept to themselves sparked the most rumours. Just because my host hadn’t sounded off to anyone and everyone during a drunken conversation didn’t make him a bad person. In fact, I thought he was a very interesting person, with intelligent things to say.
As I walked back down the alleyway lined with stalls that led to my other life, I realised I was starting to feel defensive about Ace, just like I’d felt about Star when people had asked me if she was okay, because she was so quiet and didn’t say very much.
I arrived back in my room and after showering and creaming – which I was worried was becoming a daily habit I must lose before it took hold for good – and then dressing in my old kaftan, I wandered out onto the terrace. Ace was already there, wearing a crisp white linen shirt.
‘Hi. Good day?’ he asked me.
‘Yeah, except the art’s still going nowhere. I can’t draw a square at the moment, let alone anything else.’
‘It’ll come back, CeCe. You just need to get all the negative stuff they said out of your head. That takes time.’
‘Yeah, it sure seems to. What about your day?’
‘The same really. I read a book, then went for a walk and thought about what it said. I’ve realised that none of these “self-help” books can help, really, because at the end of the day, you’ve got to help yourself.’ He gave a wry grin. ‘There are no easy solutions.’
‘No, there never are. You’ve just got to get on with it, haven’t you?’
‘Yep. Ready for dinner?’ he asked me eventually, breaking the silence that hung over the table.
‘Bring it on.’
An enormous lobster appeared in front of us, accompanied by numerous side dishes.
‘Wow! Lobster is my absolute number one favourite seafood,’ I said happily as I tucked in.
‘For a traveller whom I met sleeping on the beach, you seem to have seriously ritzy taste,’ he teased when we’d both cleaned our plates and moved on to a dessert of fresh fruit and homemade sorbets. ‘From what you’ve said, I presume your dad is rich?’
‘Was, yeah.’ I realised I hadn’t told Ace about Pa’s death, but now was as good a time as any, so I did.
‘Sorry to hear that, CeCe. So, this is the first Christmas and New Year without him?’
‘It is.’
‘Is that why you’re here?’
‘Yes and no . . . I lost someone else close to me too, recently. Like, my soulmate.’
‘A boyfriend?’
‘No, my sister actually. I mean, she’s still alive, but she decided to go her own way.’
‘I see. Well, we are a pair, aren’t we?’
‘Are we? Have you lost someone too?’
‘You could say I’ve lost just about everything in the past few months. I’ve got no one to blame but myself.’ He took a gulp of water. ‘Unlike you.’
‘It wasn’t my fault Pa died, no, but I think I drove my sister away. By being . . . bossy.’ I finally voiced the word. ‘And maybe a bit controlling. I didn’t mean to be, but she was really shy as a kid and didn’t speak much, so I spoke for her and I guess it never changed.’
‘So she found her own voice?’
‘Something like that, yeah. Broke my heart actually. She was my . . . person, if you know what I mean.’
‘Oh yes, I do,’ he said with feeling. ‘When you trust someone implicitly and they let you down, it’s very hard.’
‘Has that happened to you?’ I watched as he looked upwards and saw real pain in his eyes.
‘Yes.’
‘Do you wanna talk about it?’ I asked him, realising that he was always encouraging me to tell him my troubles, but whenever he started to talk about his own, he’d suddenly clam up.
‘I can’t, I’m afraid. For all sorts of reasons, including legal ones . . . Only Linda knows the truth,’ he murmured, ‘and it’s best you don’t.’
There he went again, being the mystery man, and it was really starting to irritate me. I decided it was probably something to do with a woman who was taking him to the cleaners for his millions in a divorce and I wished he wouldn’t feel so sorry for himself.
‘You know I’m here if you ever want to talk,’ I offered, thinking that this was turning into a fun evening so far. Not.
‘Thanks, CeCe, I appreciate it, and your company tonight. I was dreading spending New Year’s Eve alone. As you said, it’s just one of those nights, isn’t it? Anyway, let’s toast to your dad. And to friends old and new.’ We clinked our glasses of water. Then he glanced down at his watch – a Rolex, and definitely not picked up from one of the fake stalls in Bangkok. ‘It’s ten to midnight. How about I pour us both that glass of champagne we’ve promised ourselves and we’ll take a wander down to the beach to see in the New Year?’
‘Sure.’
While he was gone, I took a moment to text Star and wish her a Happy New Year. I was tempted to tell her about my new friend, but thought she’d probably get the wrong end of the stick, so I didn’t. Then I texted Ma and sent a round-robin message to my other sisters, wherever they all were in the world tonight.
‘Ready?’ Ace stood there with a glass sparkling in each hand.
‘Ready.’
We walked to the gate and Po jumped up to open it for us.
‘Five minutes to go . . . Any New Year’s resolutions?’ Ace asked me, as we stood on the shoreline.
‘Blimey, I haven’t thought of any. I know! To get back into my art, and to find the balls to go to Australia and discover where I came from.’
‘You mean, your birth family?’
‘Yeah.’
‘Wow! That’s something you haven’t told me about.’
‘And your resolution?’ I eyed him in the moonlight.
‘To accept what is to come, and to take it with grace,’ he said, not looking at me, but staring up at the heavens. ‘And to make sure that this is the only glass of champagne I drink tonight,’ he added with a grin.
A few seconds later we heard the hoots of horns from the fishing boats moored out in the bay, then saw the flash of fireworks from nearby Railay Beach visible over the top of the limestone pillars.
‘Oh wow!’ I gasped as we saw Chinese lanterns floating gently upwards into the sky from the other end of the beach.
‘Cheers, CeCe!’ he said, clinking his glass of champagne against mine. I watched as he drained the lot in a couple of mouthfuls. ‘God, that was good! Happy New Year!’ Then he threw his arms around me and gave me an enormous bear hug, which sent most of my champagne flying over his shoulder and onto the sand. ‘You’ve saved my life in the past few days. I mean it.’
‘I don’t think I have, but thanks anyway.’
He pushed me gently back by the shoulders, one hand on each of them. ‘Oh yes, you have.’ Then he put his mouth to mine and kissed me.
It was a nice kiss, quite strong, yet soft at the same time. Like a hungry werewolf on Valium. My rational brain – the bit that normally recognised all the warning signs of such a move – did not respond, so the kiss went on for a really long time.
‘Come on.’ Ace eventually dragged his mouth away from mine and began to pull me by the hand back up the beach. As we passed Po, who must have got an eyeful of us kissing, I smiled at him and wished him a Happy New Year.
As Ace guided me to his room, his hand still holding mine, I felt like it really might be.
That night . . . well, without going into detail, Ace obviously knew what he was doing. In fact, he seemed to be a bit of an expert, while I definitely wasn’t. But it’s amazing how quickly you can learn something when you want to.
‘CeCe,’ he said as he stroked my cheek after what must have been a few hours, because I could hear the faint twitter of birds, ‘you’re just so . . . delicious. Thank you.’
‘That’s okay,’ I said, even if I did feel like he was describing the flavour of an ice cream.
‘This is just for now, isn’t it? I mean, there can’t be any future involved.’
‘Course not,’ I replied lightly, worried that I’d given him the impression I was clingy.
‘Good, because I don’t want to hurt you, or anyone, ever again. Night, sleep tight.’
With that, he rolled away from me, in a bed that I reckoned was even larger and comfier than mine, and went to sleep on his side.
Of course it’s just for now, I told myself as I too rolled over into my own space, realising it was the first time I’d ever shared a bed with a man, as all the other previous fumbles had taken place in the great outdoors. I lay staring into the darkness, glad that the shutters on the windows were letting in tiny strips of New Year light, and thinking that this had been just what I needed. It was perfect, I told myself – a morale booster with no strings attached. I’d go off to Oz in a few days’ time, and maybe me and Ace would keep in touch occasionally by text. I wasn’t a Victorian heroine who had sacrificed her virtue and then got locked into marriage. My generation had been given the freedom to do what we liked with our bodies. And tonight I had liked . . .
Very carefully, my fingers moved towards him of their own accord, to find and touch his skin and to make sure he was real and breathing next to me. As he stirred, I drew them away, but he rolled back towards me and enveloped me in his arms.
Warm and safe with the weight of his body against me, I eventually fell asleep.
* * *
It transpired that New Year’s Eve hadn’t been a one-night stand. It became a regular morning, afternoon and evening stand . . . or more precisely, a lying down. And when we weren’t horizontal, we did fun things together. Like Ace dragging me out of bed at the crack of dawn to see the monkeys, who announced their presence with a loud thump on the roof as they invaded the palace in search of leftover food. Once I’d taken photos and one of the security guards had frightened them off with a miniature catapult, I’d skulk back to bed. Later on in the morning he’d wake me with a tray of nice things to eat. During the long, hot afternoons, we’d suck at pieces of pineapple and mango and wade through his collection of DVDs.
One sunrise, a plush speedboat had appeared in the shallows of the sea in front of the palace. Po helped us aboard, then whipped out a camera and offered to take a photo of us, which Ace immediately and vehemently vetoed. As we set off, Ace told me he was taking me somewhere special. Having driven my family’s own speedboat up and down Lake Geneva, I soon took over the reins from the captain, steering the boat effortlessly over the waves and doing the odd wheelie just to scare him. When a wall of limestone pillars loomed above us in the middle of the sea, I let the captain take over again. He steered the boat expertly into a hidden lagoon, protected on all sides by vertiginous rocky walls. The water was green and calm, and there were even mangrove trees growing inside it. It was called Koh Hong and it was paradise. I was the first to jump into the water, but Ace soon followed and we swam across it as though it was our own private swimming pool, cast away in the middle of the ocean.
Afterwards, we sat on the boat deck drinking hot, strong coffee and basking in the peace and tranquillity of this incredible place. Then I drove us home and we went to bed and made love. It was a wonderful day and one I knew I’d never forget. The kind of day that happens once in a lifetime, even to someone like me.
On the fifth night that I lay next to Ace in bed, my own room abandoned since New Year’s Eve, I wondered if I was in a ‘relationship’. Part of me was terrified, because it wasn’t what I had intended, and Ace had made it clear he hadn’t either. Yet, another part of me wanted to take a photo of the two of us looking romantically at each other on the beach and send it to all my sisters so that they would realise I wasn’t a loser after all. This man, for whatever reason, liked me. He laughed at my jokes – which even I knew were really bad – and even seemed to find my funny little body ‘sexy’.
But most of all, he ‘got’ me in a way that only Star had before, and had arrived in my life just when I’d needed him. Both of us were adrift in this world and had washed up together on the same shore, not sure of what was coming next, and it was comforting to hold on to someone, even for a little while.
On the sixth day, I woke up of my own accord, looked at the clock and saw it was almost one in the afternoon. Ace’s usual delivery of fruit, croissants and coffee was late. I was just about to get up and find him when he opened the door with a tray in his hands. I would have relaxed, except for the look on his face.
‘Morning, CeCe. Sleep well?’
‘Yeah, from four till now, as you know,’ I said as he set the tray down.
Normally, he’d come and lie next to me, but today he didn’t. Instead, he sat on the edge of the bed.
‘I’ve got some stuff to do. Fancy taking yourself off somewhere for the afternoon?’
‘Of course,’ I said brightly.
‘See you for dinner tonight at eight?’ He stood up and kissed me on the top of my head.
‘Yeah, sure.’
He left with a wave and a smile, and being a novice at this whole relationship thing, I couldn’t work out whether this was normal. Was it because he had ‘stuff to do’ and the world was finally getting back on its feet after New Year, or should I panic and pack my rucksack? In the end, not wanting to look as though I had nowhere to go and couldn’t amuse myself, I walked back down Plebs’ Path to Railay with my sketch pad. As I walked up onto the veranda of the Railay Beach Hotel, I saw the beach was less crowded than it had been at New Year. Nam was serving at the bar, so I ordered a mango shake just so she would have to make it for me. Then I sat on the bar stool, watching her with a smug look that I wasn’t proud of.
‘You need room?’ she asked me as she peeled the mango and dumped it into the blender.
‘No, I’m fine, thanks.’
‘Which hotel you stay at?’
‘The Sunrise Resort.’
Nam nodded, but I saw a glint in her eye. ‘Not seen you for a while. Nobody seen you.’
‘I’ve been busy.’
‘Jay say he seen you on Phra Nang getting onto speedboat with man.’
‘Really? I wish.’ I rolled my eyes as my heart thumped. Jay was a guy I knew in passing from last year – a friend of Jack’s. He’d helped out behind the bar sometimes, but was a full-time drifter who went wherever he could earn a crust. Someone had told me he’d once been a big-shot journalist until the drugs got him. I’d seen him sitting in here bold as brass, smoking a joint. Drugs were not something I approved of and here in Thailand, whether it was a joint or an armful of heroin, possession carried the same harsh penalty.
He’d also had a thing about Star, making a beeline for her every time we’d come in for a quiet drink. She found him as creepy as I did, so I’d made sure she was never alone with him.
‘He say he saw you,’ Nam persisted as she passed over the mango shake. ‘You got a new boyfriend?’
She said it as if I’d had an old one . . . and then it dawned on me that perhaps she thought that Jack and I had been having a thing, what with me sleeping in his room. Christ, women could be so pathetic sometimes. It was obvious to everyone that Jack was putty in her small, slim hands.
‘Nope,’ I said, then drained my glass as quickly as I could.
‘Jay say he know man you were with. Bad man. Famous.’
‘Then Jay needs a new pair of glasses, ’cos it wasn’t me.’ I counted out sixty baht with a ten baht tip and put it down on the bar as I stood up.
‘Jay in later. He tell you.’
I shook my head and rolled my eyes at her again as though I thought she was crazy, then left, trying to act casually. Instead of turning right along the beach back to the palace, I turned left, where I’d told Nam my hotel was, just in case she or Jay, or anyone else for that matter, was watching. I dumped my shoes and towel on the beach in front of the hotel I’d said I was staying at, and walked into the water for a swim and a think.
What had she meant when she’d said that Jay had called Ace a ‘bad man’? In Nam’s book, that probably meant he was a womaniser, nothing more. I knew Ace hadn’t been short of girlfriends when he’d lived in London – he was forever mentioning different women he’d shared good times with. As for him being ‘famous’, maybe he was, but I wouldn’t know because I never read newspapers or magazines, due to my dyslexia.
I waded out and lay back on the sand to let my skin dry in the sun, and I wondered whether I should tell Ace. It was obvious he was paranoid about his privacy . . . What if he was some famous celebrity? I could always ask Electra – that was the world she lived in every day. And if he was, that would make her shut up for once – the ugly D’Aplièse sister, bagging herself a famous boyfriend. It was almost worth texting to ask her just for her reaction.
But I knew that if I did tell Ace someone was on to him, it would only worry him. And besides, Jay didn’t know where he lived – or, at least, I hoped he didn’t.
Perhaps I should tell Ace . . . but I only had a few days left here before I had to make my way to Australia and I didn’t want to spoil our time together. I finally decided that once I was back inside the palace gates, I’d stay put and not come out until it was time for me to leave for the airport. And today, I just had to hope that no one was watching as I went back in.
Choosing a time just before sunset when Phra Nang Beach was beginning to empty but I could still remain inconspicuous amongst the throng, I went for another swim, then sat on my towel very near Po, who, when he saw me, immediately tried to press the keypad to let me in. I ignored him and lay down a few metres away. I’d slip inside when all eyes were turned on the sunset in front of me.
Twenty minutes later, the show began and I scurried up to the palace gates like a hunted animal.
I didn’t know what to expect when I walked up the path to my room, but at least if Ace had suddenly gone off me and asked me to move out that night, the New Year rush was over and there was plenty of room in the hotels along the beach. Opening the door to my room, I smelt a flowery scent wafting on the air.
‘I’m in here, come and join me.’
I walked into the bathroom and saw Ace lying in the huge oval bathtub, which was surrounded by numerous tea lights giving off a softly scented glow. On top of the water floated hundreds of white and pink flower petals.
‘Join me?’
I giggled.
‘What’s so funny?’
‘You look like a surrealist’s version of that famous painting of the dead Ophelia.’
‘You mean a hairier and uglier version? Cheers,’ he said with a grin. ‘And there was me trying to be romantic. Granted, the maid went over the top with the flowers, but never ask a Thai person to run your bath or you end up picking petals off yourself for days afterwards. Come on, climb in.’
So I did, and lay there with my head resting upon his chest and his arms holding me tight around my middle. It felt fantastic.
‘Sorry about earlier,’ he whispered into my ear and then gave it a soft kiss. ‘I just had some stuff to sort out on the phone.’
‘No need to apologise.’
‘I missed you,’ he whispered again. ‘Shall we eat in tonight?’
‘We always do,’ I replied with a smile.
Much later, when we’d finally made it out of the bath and had tucked into a fresh fish in tamarind sauce, we took a stroll down to the beach and lay there looking up at the stars.
‘Show me which one your star is,’ Ace asked me.
I located the milky cluster and pointed to it. ‘I’m the third one down from the top, at about two o’clock.’
‘I can only count six.’
‘There are seven, but it’s really hard to see the last one.’
‘What’s her name?’
‘Merope.’
‘You’ve not mentioned her before.’
‘No. She never turned up. Or at least, Pa only brought six sisters home.’
‘That’s weird.’
‘Yeah, now I think back, my whole childhood was weird.’
‘Do you know why he adopted all of you?’
‘No, but you don’t really wonder when you’re a child, do you? You just accept it. I loved having Star and my sisters around me. Have you got brothers or sisters?’
‘I’m an only child, so I never had to share anything.’ He gave a sharp laugh, then turned to me. ‘You don’t talk much about your other sisters. What are they like?’
‘Maia and Ally are the two oldest. Maia is really sweet, and so clever – she speaks about a million languages – and Ally is amazing, like, really brave and strong. She’s had a bad time recently, but she’s getting through it. I really admire her, you know? I’d like to be like her.’
‘So, Ally is your role model in the family?’
‘Maybe, yeah, she is. And Tiggy . . .’ I thought for a second, wondering how best to describe her. ‘Other than Star, she’s the sister I’m closest to. She’s very . . . what’s the word for someone who seems to understand things without you saying them out loud?’
‘Intuitive?’ Ace guessed.
‘Yes. She’s got this incredibly positive way of looking at the world. If I painted it the way she saw it, it would just be the most beautiful thing. And then there’s Electra,’ I mumbled, ‘but we don’t get on.’ Then I turned the questioning back on him. ‘What about your childhood?’
‘Like you, I didn’t think it was weird at the time. I loved my mum and being brought up in Thailand, then shortly after she died I was sent to school in England.’
‘That must have been hard, being away from everything you knew.’
‘It was . . . fine.’
‘What about your dad?’ I asked.
‘I told you, I don’t know him.’
The timbre of his voice was terse, and I sensed not to ask him more, even though I was seriously curious.
‘Have you ever wondered if Pa Salt was your real father?’ he asked eventually out of the darkness.
‘I’ve never even thought about it,’ I said, even though suddenly I was thinking about it. ‘That would mean he travelled the world collecting his six illegitimate daughters.’
‘That would be strange,’ Ace agreed, ‘but surely there must be a reason?’
‘Who knows? And actually, who cares? He’s dead now, so I’m never going to find out.’
‘You’re right. No point dwelling on the past, is there?’
‘No, but we all do. We all think of mistakes we’ve made and wish we could change them.’
‘You haven’t made any mistakes to change, have you? It was your parents who did that by giving you up.’
I turned to look at Ace then, and maybe it was the moonlight, but his eyes seemed too bright, like he was holding back tears.
‘Is that what your dad did? Gave you up?’
‘No. So, are you going to search for your birth parents in Australia then?’
It was the patented Ace method of question-tennis and the ball had been expertly returned to me. I let him have this one because I knew he was upset.
‘Maybe,’ I said with a shrug.
‘How did you find out that’s where you were born?’
‘When Pa died last June, he left all us girls something called an armillary sphere, which had the coordinates of where he’d found us engraved on it.’
‘Where was yours?’
‘A place called Broome. It’s on the northwest coast of Australia.’
‘Right. What else?’
‘He told me I should go there and find out about a woman called Kitty Mercer.’
‘Is that all?’
‘Yes, from him anyway, but I also found out a few days later that I’d been left an inheritance.’
‘ “Curiouser and curiouser”, as Alice once said. Did you ever try to look up this Kitty Mercer on the internet?’ he asked.
‘Er, no.’ I was glad that it was dark so he couldn’t see me blush. I was beginning to feel like I was being interrogated. ‘It’s not really fair that you’re asking me all these questions when you won’t answer any of mine.’
He chuckled then. ‘You’re great, CeCe. You just tell it how it is.’ Then he rolled me on top of him and kissed me.
* * *
Two days later, I woke up realising I had no idea what the date was and knowing I’d completely lost track of time. I climbed out of bed and rifled through my rucksack to find the printout of my tickets back to Bangkok and on to Sydney. Then I checked my mobile for today’s date.
‘Oh shit! I leave tomorrow,’ I groaned, feeling horrified at the prospect. I slumped onto the bed just as Ace came through the door with the habitual tray. Perched amongst the croissants was a book.
‘I got you something,’ he said as he set the tray down.
I stared at the book. On the front cover was a black and white photograph of a beautiful woman. She was wearing an old-fashioned dress with a very high neckline, fastened with rows of tiny pearl buttons. It took me a good few seconds to work out the name on the cover.
‘Kitty Mercer, the Pearling Pioneer,’ I read out loud.
‘Yes!’ Ace said triumphantly, jumping under the covers with me then handing me a cup of coffee. ‘I looked her up on Google – she has her own Wikipedia page, CeCe!’
‘Really?’ I nodded dumbly.
‘She sounds incredible. From what I read, she achieved a lot in an age when women struggled to be in charge. So I ordered her biography and had it express delivered by speedboat from a bookshop in Phuket.’
‘You did what?’ I eyed him.
‘I’ve already skimmed through it and it’s such an interesting story. You’ll love it, really.’ He picked up the book and pushed it towards me and it was all I could do to stop myself recoiling from both him and it. I set the coffee down on the side table and climbed off the bed.
‘Why have you gone to all this trouble?’ I asked him as I pulled on my T-shirt. ‘It’s none of your business. If I’d wanted to find all this out, I’d have done it myself.’
‘Christ! I was only trying to help! Why are you cross?’
‘I’m not cross,’ I snapped, even though we both knew I was. ‘I haven’t even decided yet if I want to find out anything about my original family!’
‘Well, you don’t have to read it now, you can keep it for when you’re ready.’
Ace tried to hand me the book again and I pushed it away.
‘Maybe you should have asked me first,’ I said as I put on my shorts and immediately lost my balance, which didn’t look as dignified as I’d needed it to.
‘Yeah, maybe I should have.’
I stomped out of the room and went upstairs to sit on the roof terrace, needing to cool down alone for a while.
Ten minutes later, he came to sit next to me on the silk sofa, one hand still clutching the book.
‘What’s really wrong, CeCe? Tell me.’
I chewed on my lip for a bit, staring out at the people swimming in the ocean below us. ‘Look, it’s really cool of you to go to the effort of getting that book. It can’t have been easy to get it so quickly. I just . . . I’m not good with books. I never have been. That’s why I haven’t looked up anything about Kitty Mercer. I’ve got . . . dyslexia, really bad dyslexia actually, and I find it hard to read.’
Ace put his arm around my shoulders. ‘Why didn’t you just say so?’
‘I dunno,’ I mumbled. ‘I’m embarrassed, okay?’
‘Well, you shouldn’t be. Some of the brightest people I know are dyslexic. Hey, I know, I’ll read it out loud to you.’ He pulled me to him so I was nestling into his shoulder. ‘Right,’ he said, and began turning the pages before I could stop him.
‘Chapter one. Edinburgh, Scotland, 1906 . . .’