Chapter 12
Study Hall
Edge
Someone should have mentioned that kissing could be as good as fucking if you did it right. There was something about trying to communicate your every thought, your every feeling, with nothing more than the alternating pressure of your mouth and the flick of your tongue. It was heady and powerful to know you were getting to the other person when you heard their breathing change. It was a new experience for me to crave the way another person tasted. I was used to kissing because it was expected if I wanted to get my dick sucked. I never kissed because I wanted to, or because another person wanted me to before. I think I was getting addicted to it.
Don’t get me wrong; I was beyond ready to move on to fucking. I’d been ready since Bash’s birthday party, or rather since I woke up alone in bed with a raging hard-on, and no place to put it. I’d been ready to hunt Bash down so I could bend him over and finally take what he was offering, but the boy brought me breakfast in bed, kissed me like I was something special, thanked me for his party, and was so damn charming and sweet about it all I couldn’t bring myself to use him that way. Even though my body was screaming at me to. Instead, I managed to lure him into the shower—that was very dirty, despite the soap and water.
Then Bash mentioned that Cutter was gone and had left in a supposed huff. Admittedly, that was strange. He never left me unsupervised the morning after, and he never abandoned me to my own devices when I was with a new guy.
The mood was definitely dampened after that, and I accepted the offer of a ride back to school with Bash and Mac, figuring I would find Cutter at our dorm and would demand the chance to work out whatever the hell was wrong with him. We obviously needed to talk. Only, Cutter was nowhere to be found. He didn’t show up until the middle of the night, too wasted off his ass to do anything but stumble into bed. I tried to pin him down the next morning, but he somehow managed to get up and leave before I crawled out of bed. Now, almost a week had gone by and I still hadn’t talked to him other than terse exchanges in class. Worse, I still hadn’t gotten laid because I was spending all my free time trying to nail down what was going on with my best friend. Bash had been totally reasonable and understanding about the situation. He was nice. I would have been a moody bitch if our situations were reversed. I could tell by the way he kissed me back, and the way his hands pulled me closer—always closer—he’d had his fill of being patient as well.
I ran my hands under the black blazer that looked ridiculous on him. His body was made to wear studded leather and distressed denim, not this stuffy uniform. The material of his pressed button-down did little to keep the heat of his skin from burning into my palms. And I could feel the hard metal of his nipple piercing through the fabric, as I ran one hand over his chest and twisted my other hand in the tie he wore so he couldn’t pull away. I wanted to wrap the silk in our school colors around his wrists and tie him to a bed. Mine, his, whoever’s bed it was didn’t matter.
Bash let out a little moan as I shifted my hand so I could use my thumb to tease that tight little point and he shifted his hips against mine. I’d backed him into a locker and refused to let him go until he gave me a kiss. I was making a habit of tracking him down between classes and making him late to his next one. Our classmates were getting used to the PDA, but the teachers and staff still futilely tried to get me to back off whenever they happened across one of our sexy displays. It was adorable how they thought they could tell me what to do. They reminded me it was my ancestors who put together the code of conduct we were all supposed to abide by. I reminded them my family were generally the last people on the planet I wanted to be compared to.
The hair on the back of my head was tugged on and my lower lip stung as the edge of Bash’s teeth left an indent. I pulled back so he could breathe, but I didn’t let go of his tie or his nipple ring. I took an inordinate amount of satisfaction in the glazed, unfocused look in those dark eyes of his. The pink flush that tinted his cheeks made me want to give myself a high-five. There was no more pretending to be distanced and removed from everything and everyone around him. He was right in the thick of it… with me.
“I have to get to class and I’d rather not have to walk in while trying to hide an erection.” His dark eyebrows quirked up in an adorable way, and the look in his eyes and the rasp in his voice told me he was as reluctant as I was to go our separate ways.
Our uniform pants were garbage when it came to disguising any kind of excited bulge, so I took pity on him and backed off. Almost instantly, I missed the heat of his body pressed against mine. I sighed as he smoothed his tie down his chest and took a second to paw his wild hair back into somewhat of a style.
“What are you doing after class today?” I leaned a shoulder on the locker next to him and watched with satisfaction as he struggled to get himself under control. I was glad having my mouth on him scrambled him up as much as having his on mine undid all my composure.
“I have a history test to study for. I practically failed the last one. I have to ace this one to bring my grade up. The teacher might as well turn the lights out and give us all pillows as soon as he starts his lecture. His voice is so monotone it works better than Nyquil at putting people to sleep.” His lifted eyebrows dropped down and a frown tugged at his mouth. He was really cute when he was concerned about something. “What about you? You and Cutter work things out yet?”
He asked every day, and I could tell he cared about the answer. He didn’t want me to be on the outs with my only friend. It mattered to him that one of the only people I cared about was avoiding me. He’d mentioned more than once he felt responsible for Cutter’s sudden cold-shoulder, but I assured him the issue was with my bestie, not with him. I wasn’t sure what had crawled up Cutter’s ass, but I was finding out and putting a stop to his hissy fit today.
“We will. I’m cornering him where he can’t get away from me. Don’t worry about it.” I wiggled my eyebrows up and down and gave him a suggestive leer. “How about I help you study after classes are done? I took that one last year and I think I remember the main parts the test covers.”
He narrowed his eyes at me and huffed out a breath. “Why do I think I won’t get any studying done if I agree to that?”
I chuckled and lifted a finger so I could trace the feathered curve of his brow. He shivered under my touch and it made my dick twitch. “No funny stuff. I’ll help you study, and after, I’m sure you’re going to ace the test, I’ll reward you handsomely. You can come to my dorm. It’s less crowded than yours.” And less likely to have a roommate wandering in and interrupting the good stuff.
He made a face and shifted uneasily, eyes darting away. “I think it’s better if you come to me. Theo and Klein have practice and won’t be back until late. We might have to kick Mac out, but ever since the party, he’s more determined than ever to get The Odd Couple on the same page. He’s practically stalking both of them.”
There was an undercurrent in his tone I couldn’t quite place, but he was definitely avoiding coming to my place. This wasn’t the first time he’d deflected an invite into my much roomier, more secluded room.
“I don’t mind coming to you, and I know how to deal with Mac if he makes a nuisance of himself.” He nodded and there was a flash of relief that crossed his face before he could hide it.
He pushed off the locker behind him and reached up to catch the hand I was absently running over different parts of his face. He put a soft kiss in the center of my palm and offered a tiny grin that reached nowhere near his unreadable eyes. “I’ll see you later then.”
I didn’t like him walking away, but it was a pretty nice view watching him go. He had a special kind of swagger that was different from the rest of the rich kids we were constantly surrounded by. It wasn’t an air of superiority or entitlement he carried, but one of self-confidence and self-acceptance. Bash liked who he was and where he was going. He didn’t need anyone else to approve of his choices because he was happy with them, and that was something rare in the elitist environment we’d grown up in. Everyone was always looking to the richest, most well-connected person in the room to give the thumbs-up for every little thing. I was usually the guy giving the go-ahead, so it was nice to have that pressure removed.
I dragged my hands over my face and took a deep breath, as I pulled my thoughts out of my pants and put them back on the task at hand. I needed to get things with Cutter figured out because I had a sneaking suspicion the reason Bash wasn’t coming by my room was because of my best friend. I wasn’t about to choose between the two of them or let either one ignore the other. Of course, the two people I’d met, who I couldn’t control or dictate to, were being difficult and stubborn. If anyone else were acting like this, I would simply demand they get their shit together and act right. Sadly, that wasn’t going to work with Cutter. In fact, he would put me on my ass if I tried.
I skipped my class and headed down to Cutter’s. I was pretty sure he was in a study hall this period. I should know, he kept track of my schedule so he always knew when I was coming and going. If I was a better friend, not only would I know what class he was in, I would know what in the hell was bothering him without having to force it out of him.
I walked into the eerily silent classroom, and all eyes lifted to look at me. The teacher was scrolling through something on her phone and barely reacted to my intrusion. Cutter was sitting in the back of the room. He had a baseball hat pulled down low on his forehead, which wasn’t part of the uniform. He wasn’t the type to pick fights he couldn’t win so I was curious and slightly worried about his blatant act of defiance.
“Can I help you, Mr. Darby?” The teacher fluttered her long eyelashes at me.
I fought an eye roll and schooled my features into my most charming smile. “Cutter and I are working on a project for chemistry. I’m here to borrow him for a lab we need to finish up.”
She stared at me for an awkward minute before flicking her gaze to Cutter. My friend was glaring at me from the back of the room, and I could practically feel the anger radiating off him. I couldn’t remember a time when Cutter was pissed at me. Sure, I annoyed him, pushed his buttons, usually on purpose, but he always shook it off because he knew it was just part of who I was. This hostility was new, and I wasn’t sure what to do with it.
“Is that true, Mr. Cunningham?” She looked back at me with narrowed eyes. “If I call down to Professor Green’s classroom he’ll verify this information?”
“He will.” At least he would once she mentioned my name. Green was scared to death of me, as he should be. His family had worked for mine in some capacity or another since my great granddad’s heyday. He knew all it would take was a phone call from me to the administration to get him axed.
Cutter heaved a sigh and lifted his massive frame from the desk he was trapped behind. “We are lab partners, Ms. Morris. Trust me, it’s better for everyone if you let me go with him.”
She looked back and forth between the two of us and finally gave in with a heavy sigh. “Fine. You have half an hour. I expect you to check in with Professor Green, Mr. Cunningham.”
Cutter took his time walking toward me and he stomped out the door in a huff. I followed behind, baffled by his antagonistic behavior.
He walked down the hallway, not bothering to check if I was following. He slammed his way through doors and marched into the gardens of the school. They were currently dead, waiting on the arrival of winter in the mountains, so it was an apt setting for his ugly, dark mood.
“I’ve been trying to talk to you for a week. Clearly, you’re avoiding me and angry about something. At this point in our friendship, I would think you’d simply tell me what’s bothering you and not make me have to chase you down and pull it out of you.” I crossed my arms over my chest and watched as he copied my pose. “What gives, Cutter? This behavior is bullshit and you know it.”
He wouldn’t look at me and it was starting to piss me off. I was getting ready to say something about it, when he suddenly pulled the hat off his head and threw it across the garden with a growl. He tugged on his shaggy, black hair and glared at me as he barked, “Have you ever heard of doing a thankless job, Edge? It’s when someone works their ass off with little or no reward.”
I scowled at him and let my arms drop. “So, being friends with me is work now?”
He bit out a laugh that held zero humor. His pretty face was twisted up into something ugly and totally unrecognizable. I had no idea who this guy in front of me was, but he wasn’t my best friend.
“Have you met you? Of course, being friends with you is work. Nothing about you is easy.” His eyes were flinty blue and cold.
Coming from someone else, those words wouldn’t matter. Coming from him, they stung like a son of a bitch.
“So, how is that new? I didn’t suddenly change overnight, Cutter. I’m the same as I’ve always been.” I was hurt and confused. I hated the way both of those emotions felt. It was much easier to keep all those feelings frozen away in the dark where I didn’t have to deal with them.
“But you did change overnight.” He pointed a finger at me and I noticed it was shaking. “The new kid pops up, doesn’t tolerate your normal bullshit, and all of a sudden you realize you have to treat other people like they matter. I’ve been trying for years to get through your head that you need to show people you care about they are special to you. And I get nothing and move nowhere. New kid flashes some ink, and gives you attitude, and it’s like you suddenly open your eyes to the rest of the fucking world. Clearly, I’ve been doing something wrong this entire time.”
I blinked at him in shock, because I would have had to be deaf not to hear the jealousy and resentment in his voice. I was trying to get my thoughts in order to respond when he suddenly took a step back, shaking his head. “I can’t deal with you right now. I need a break, Edge. Being your best friend is tiring, and I’m fucking exhausted.”
In the silence of the space that surrounded us, I swore I could hear my icy heart shatter. The pain was so sharp, I involuntarily put a hand to my chest. I was having a hard time breathing, but none of that seemed to matter to Cutter.
“Look…” He seemed to be searching for words that wouldn’t cut me open. “I’m happy you’re happy. I really am. I just don’t think it’s going to last and I don’t think he’s the guy for you in the long run.”
I gasped and shook my head. “You think I can do better?” He was never a snob, but then again, maybe I didn’t know who he was anymore.
“I think you both can do better.” He started to walk away, but stopped when he reached the doors leading back into the school. “I’m not going anywhere. I’m still around if you need me. I just need some space to get my head on straight. You have been the center of everything in my life for so long, I think I’ve forgotten who I am without you.”
He didn’t give me a chance to say anything else. He left me standing there feeling gutted and empty, my entire world upside down. Cutter was my constant, my stability. I wasn’t sure I knew who I was without him either, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to find out.
Swearing under my breath, I found one of the carved stone benches that decorated the garden and sat down.
For a guy who was supposed to have it all, it sure felt like I was losing everything.
It didn’t occur to me until he was gone that I should have told him I would be there for him no matter what as well. Shit, who could blame him for walking away? I’d never given him a reason to stay.