CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Ashley spent the first hour of her flight to New York crying, the second hour giving herself a pep talk, and the last four hours calling herself an idiot.
Matthew loved her and she loved him. The job with Logan was better than being a society reporter in New York. The job in Washington, D.C. was everything she’d ever wanted, but what she wanted had changed. If she accepted the position, she would be starting a hectic, high-pressured job that could easily take over her life.
Congressman Welsh and Jasmine Alfredo had given her a taste of what investigative journalism involved, and she wasn’t sure she was the right person for the job. No one had won when the story about Gareth Welsh’s fraud had been exposed. Jasmine’s misdirected trust in a crooked congressman had cost her everything she’d worked toward. The Reaching High Foundation’s integrity had been compromised, and the young people who used the youth center could have lost everything.
If she hadn’t written the articles about the impact the youth center had on the local community, there would have been no feeling of satisfaction, of a job well done.
And that, above everything else, was what Ashley wanted. She needed to know that what she was doing was making a difference. Matthew had found that sense of satisfaction from working on his family’s ranch. Tess had found it in her café, and Bonnie and Harry had found it in each other and the careers they’d chosen.
Matthew had asked her what she wanted, and she’d told him she didn’t know. She did now. All she had to do was work out how she could make it happen.
***
Four weeks later, Ashley was still in New York, working for the society editor at The Daily Times and feeling more and more worried about the decision she’d made.
“You need to look at this.” Bonnie turned up the volume on her TV and pointed to the screen. “Can you believe the cheek of the man? He has to be the biggest con-artist in Washington, D.C.”
Ashley sat on Bonnie’s sofa and listened to the speech Congressman Welsh was making on the steps of the courthouse. “What does he mean, it was all a conspiracy to intimidate him? He stole thousands of dollars from The Reaching High Foundation.”
Bonnie sat on the arm of the sofa, peering at the TV screen. “His wife isn’t beside him. That tells you how she feels about everything he’s done.”
“They aren’t living together. Stephanie took their children to Oregon and started divorce proceedings.”
“I hope she’s got a good lawyer,” Bonnie muttered. “She needs to take every last dollar that’s left to his name.”
“I don’t think there are many dollars left. Stephanie’s sister said their house was mortgaged to the hilt.” Ashley frowned as more words spilled out of the congressman’s mouth. “I wonder what his lawyer thinks of his speech.”
“He’s probably hoping it will change people’s perception of the congressman. I can’t believe he hasn’t been booted out of Congress.”
“If he’s convicted of everything he’s been charged with, he will be. Whoever posted his bail should be worried. I wouldn’t trust him to stay in New York.”
Bonnie turned down the volume when the news story finished. “Jasmine has been keeping a low profile.”
“She’s got more common sense than Congressman Welsh.”
“Have you heard from her?”
Ashley shook her head. “No, and I don’t expect to. I’m just relieved that I don’t have to testify at their court cases.”
“I don’t blame you. Being cross-examined by Congressman Welsh’s lawyer wouldn’t be great. Have you heard from Matthew since you’ve been back?”
“Not a word. He’s probably getting on with his life.”
“He wanted you to stay in Bozeman. Have you told him what you’re doing?”
Ashley bit her bottom lip.
“You’re kidding! How is he supposed to know how you feel if you don’t tell him?”
“I want it to be a surprise.”
Bonnie’s eyes widened. “You did that once before and it nearly backfired on you. What if he’s dating someone else? You can’t expect him to wait around for you.”
“I thought you were my friend.”
“I am your friend. And as your friend, I’m telling you to get your butt to Montana and speak to Matthew.”
“I’ve got two more days at work before I leave. My editor has been really understanding about the amount of time I’ve taken off. I don’t want to repay his kindness by not doing my job.”
Bonnie sighed. “We’re talking about true love. Even Mr. Phillips can’t argue with that.”
“He will if I don’t give him my last stories by Friday.”
“What about Logan?”
“He’s been awesome. I’ll enjoy working for him.”
“Maybe you could call Tess. She knows everything that’s going on. If Matthew is seeing someone, word would have gotten to the café faster than she could bake a cake.”
“Tess is already helping me. Everything will be okay.”
Bonnie patted her shoulder. “I hope you’re right. A lot is riding on what happens next.”
Ashley knew how important her first day in Bozeman would be. With Tess and Logan’s help, she was hoping Matthew would realize how much he meant to her. If she was too late, she didn’t know what she would do.
***
Matthew glared at his twin brother. “I’m not going.”
“Of course you are. Catherine and Toby have been talking about it all week. You can’t let them down.”
“Nathan and Amy will be there. They’ll be happy going with them.”
Sean stuck his hands on his hips. “You promised Catherine and Toby we’d take them to The Festival of Light. They’re looking forward to being spoiled by their two favorite uncles.”
In the past week, downtown Bozeman had been transformed by truck-loads of metal frames. Gradually, each frame had been covered in lights. The Festival opened tonight, and if the Bozeman Chronicle was correct, no one would want to miss it.
Sean threw Matthew’s jacket at him. “Amy said they’re leaving in fifteen minutes. If you want to follow them into town, I’d suggest moving off the sofa.” To make his point, Sean turned off the TV. “The living room lights are next.”
Matthew pulled himself to his feet. “I’m only going because I don’t want to let Toby and Catherine down.”
“That’s good enough for me.” Sean peered at his face. “You need a shave. You look like a caveman.”
He ran his hand along the stubble on his jaw. “It will be dark by the time we get there. No one’s going to notice if I haven’t shaved.”
Sean pushed him toward the bathroom. “Shave. I’ve got a reputation to maintain. If you look bad, it reflects on my appeal to the ladies. It’s not my fault we’re twins.”
“We’re not identical, so I don’t know what your problem is,” Matthew grumbled. “I thought you weren’t interested in dating anyone.”
A blush skimmed Sean’s cheeks. “I changed my mind. Now stop stalling. Amy won’t wait if you’re not ready.”
Within the space of eight minutes, Matthew shaved three days’ worth of hair off his face and passed Sean’s inspection.
“You’ll do,” his brother said with a frown. “Tomorrow, you’ll appreciate the effort that went into making you look normal.”
Matthew grabbed his hat off the hall table. “You’ve been spending too much time in the sun.”
The front door banged open. Catherine and Toby skidded to a stop beside Matthew.
“Are you ready?” Catherine asked.
Toby held onto Sean’s hand and sent him an excited smile. “We ready.”
A quick knock on the door made everyone turn around. Nathan stood on the porch, smiling at his children and brothers. “Is everyone ready for the best night of their lives?”
Catherine and Toby filled the hallway with a resounding yes. Even Sean looked more excited than he should have been. Whoever he was meeting must have made a big impression.
Nathan’s smile disappeared when he looked at Matthew. “Are you wearing that shirt?”
Matthew looked at his plaid cotton shirt. “What’s wrong with it? Mom bought it for me.”
“She gave it to you years ago. Haven’t you got something that doesn’t look as though it’s been washed a few million times?”
“When did you turn into the fashion police?”
“The day after Ashley went back to New York. You’ve been moping around the ranch so much that’s it’s a wonder you remember to get changed each morning.”
“I haven’t been that bad.”
Sean snorted. “Believe me, you have.”
“The shirt stays,” Matthew muttered. “Come on kids. It’s time for Uncle Sean to drive us into town.”
Catherine held his hand and Sean swung Toby into his arms.
Nathan didn’t look impressed.
“I’ve done my best,” Sean said as he walked past their older brother. “It isn’t easy when you haven’t got a lot to work with.”
Matthew frowned at his brothers. “I don’t know what the two of you are up to, but it better not be a blind date. I’ve got my girl right here.”
He squeezed Catherine’s hand and her grin warmed his heart.
“Can we have some hot chocolate while we’re in town, Uncle Matthew?”
“Of course we can. Uncle Sean might buy you and Toby a cookie, too.”
Catherine’s big brown eyes looked up at Sean, and he smiled back. “We’d better get you and Toby buckled into my truck. It sounds as though we’ve got a busy night ahead of us.”
Everyone seemed happy with Sean’s plan except Matthew. He would sooner have stayed home, drowning his sorrows in coffee while he wondered what Ashley was doing.
“It’s all right, Uncle Matthew,” Catherine said far too seriously for a seven-year-old. “You’re going to love the lights.”
He picked up his niece and gave her a hug. “I love you more.”
Catherine grinned at her dad. “I told you Uncle Matthew would be okay.”
Nathan’s gaze dropped to Matthew’s chest. “If he’d changed his shirt he’d be near perfect.”
Matthew ignored his brother’s not-so-subtle dig at his dress sense and carried Catherine to Sean’s truck. Apart from spending time with Catherine and Toby, the only other highlight would be seeing the woman who had the power to make Sean blush.
That, if nothing else, was worth a night in Bozeman.
***
When Ashley arrived in Bozeman two hours ago, she didn’t think she would be helping Tess bake muffins and cookies. But one sick employee and hundreds of people coming into town for the Festival of Light had changed her plans.
Tess walked into the kitchen from the café. “The fireworks will be starting soon, so I’ve stopped taking orders. How far away are the muffins and cookies?”
Ashley picked up a tray and handed it to Tess. “I’ve just finished frosting some gingerbread cookies. The muffins are five minutes away.”
“What would I have done without you? You’ve been a lifesaver.”
“It’s the least I could do.”
Tess smiled at the star-shaped cookies. “These look wonderful. Can you bring the muffins into the café when they’re ready?”
“Sure. I’ll see you soon.”
Ashley rinsed the bowl of frosting and placed it in the dishwasher. With quick hands, she wiped the counters and carried the powdered sugar and food coloring across to the pantry. By the time the muffins were ready, the kitchen was much tidier.
She slid the lemon zest muffins out of the oven and inhaled their tangy sweetness. Tess’ customers would love them. They would be perfect with a cup of coffee or eaten on their own. She quickly arranged them on a plate and took them into the café.
“Ashley?”
Her smile disappeared. This couldn’t be happening. She hadn’t planned on seeing Matthew until tomorrow. The chance of running into him in town had to be slim at best, but here he was.
She turned toward him and tried to smile. “Hi.”
“What are you doing here?”
His stunned expression would have been comforting if she knew he was pleased to see her. But after coming and going from his life so often, she didn’t know where she stood with him.
“I flew in from New York a couple of hours ago.”
“Table four needs a refill of coffee.” Tess, God bless her little cotton socks, came to her rescue. She handed Ashley a coffeepot and nodded at the far side of the room. “Take two muffins with you. There weren’t any left when Mr. and Mrs. Searle arrived.”
Ashley kept her gaze focused on Tess’ customers. Once the man and woman were gratefully munching on the muffins and sipping hot coffee, Ashley left their table. By the time she made it to the front counter, her coffeepot was empty. Matthew was sitting at a table with his family, looking even more confused.
Tess touched her arm. “I didn’t know Matthew would be here,” she whispered.
“It doesn’t matter. I had to see him sometime.”
“But that time was supposed to be tomorrow.” Tess looked at her watch. “I’m closing in ten minutes. If you want to finish now and talk to him, I’ll be okay.”
Ashley shook her head. “I’ll stay with you. Logan wouldn’t be impressed if he knew I’d left you on your own.”
A deep male voice cleared his throat.
Sean stood in front of her, a worried frown on his face. “It’s my fault. I saw Logan after you arrived. He said you were helping Tess at Angel Wings Café, so I suggested we have hot chocolate here.”
Ashley looked at the Gray family. Catherine smiled and waved. Toby was enjoying a banana and Amy was staring daggers at her husband. Matthew was heading toward them.
“It doesn’t matter.”
“It does matter. My brother has been like a bear—”
Matthew poked his brother in the back. “I can speak for myself.”
Sean pulled out his wallet. “I’ll pay our bill.”
With Tess helping Sean, Ashley couldn’t think of anything to say to Matthew.
“How long are you staying in Bozeman?” he asked.
She swallowed the lump in her throat. “For a while. I was going to call you tomorrow…to explain why I’m here.”
Another man stood in line to pay his bill.
Ashley moved away from the counter, hoping Matthew followed her. She wiped her hands on her apron and tried to calm her racing heart. “I accepted the job at the Bozeman Chronicle. I start working with Logan and his team on Monday.”
Matthew’s frown tied her stomach in knots. She’d made a mistake. A big mistake. She’d let him down once too often, and now it was too late to do anything about it.
She looked at the front counter. With the café closing soon, more people were waiting to pay their bill. “I need to help Tess. I’m sorry. I should have called you when I realized that I…”
A siren sounded from outside. Ashley looked through the front window, expecting to see a fire engine racing down the street.
“It’s not a fire,” Matthew said. “It’s to let everyone know that the fireworks will start in fifteen minutes.”
The high-pitched wail did its job. Everyone in the café grabbed their hats and jackets, wanting to make a quick exit to Bogert Park.
Ashley moved toward the counter. “I really need to help Tess.”
“I could wait for you.”
Her eyes widened. “I…that would be great.” Ashley’s body felt as though it was on autopilot. While Tess stayed at the cash register, she cleared the empty tables and loaded the dishwasher.
Matthew’s family left the café, but not before Amy, Catherine, and Toby gave her a hug.
She didn’t deserve their kindness. It had taken her a long time to work out what was important. While she’d been chasing the story of her career, they’d let her stay on their ranch, protected her from a private investigator, and shielded her from the worst of what could have happened with Jasmine and Congressman Welsh.
Through it all, Matthew had stood beside her, helping to make her dreams come true, even if it meant losing his.
The kitchen door swung open. “Do you have a dishcloth?” Matthew asked. “I could wipe down the tables.”
“You don’t have to do that.”
“I want to help. We’ll have to hurry if you want to see the fireworks.”
She grabbed a dishcloth off the stainless steel counter. “This one’s clean. I’ll rinse it with hot water.”
He waited, then left the kitchen.
The breath that Ashley had been holding whooshed out of her lungs. She pushed a strand of hair off her face and tightened her ponytail. If she was going to tell Matthew how she felt about him, she needed to be strong and courageous.
With one last glance at the kitchen, she headed into the café with another dishcloth. By the end of the night, she’d either be the happiest person in Bozeman or buying a dozen boxes of tissues.
***
The first time Matthew remembered seeing fireworks was when he was about Toby’s age. His dad had driven their family to a festival on the outskirts of town. They’d parked in an open field and waited for the first big bang.
He’d been amazed at the way each burst of color appeared and disappeared. For months afterward, he’d drawn pictures of the fireworks. His mom had kept some of the crayon drawings, storing them in her special box of family treasures.
Tonight’s fireworks were just as incredible as the first ones he’d seen. But what made them different was the woman standing beside him.
“Oh, wow. Look at that one.” Ashley pointed to a huge starburst of pink and blue lights. “Whoever chose the fireworks did an incredible job.”
“The fire department hired a company from Great Falls. There was a story about them in the Bozeman Chronicle.”
Ashley stood silently beside him. He could see her thinking carefully about her next words. “How do you feel about me working for the Chronicle?”
Knowing she was going to be living in Bozeman wasn’t the problem. It was what would happen between them that was worrying him. “I’m happy you’re here, but are you sure it’s what you want?”
A wobbly smile lifted the corners of her mouth. “It’s better than being surrounded by smog and waiting in rush hour traffic.”
“It won’t be as busy as the job in Washington, D.C.”
Ashley shrugged. “It doesn’t matter. I’d lost who I was in New York and it would have been worse in Washington, D.C. My work had become my life, and that’s not the way I want to live.”
“What do you want?”
“Horses, weekend sleep-ins, and to work on stories that won’t keep me awake at night.”
“Is that all?”
Ashley shook her head. “No.”
Her quiet voice m ade his heart race. “What else?”
“You.”
Everything inside of him stilled. It was as if he’d stepped into a giant vacuum. The chatter of the crowd disappeared, the fireworks exploding overhead were silent, even the light breeze had vanished.
All that was left was Ashley and the pounding of his heart.
She buried her hands in her jacket pockets. “I never stopped loving you. I worked hard and tried to forget how much you meant to me. I wanted to be the best reporter The Daily Times had ever hired, but nothing I did was better than what we had in Bozeman. I missed everything about you.”
“Why didn’t you tell me how you felt?”
“If I’d spoken to you, I would have come home. I promised mom I wouldn’t second-guess myself, that I wouldn’t live my life with regrets. Until a few months ago, I thought she was talking about my career, but I was wrong. She wanted me to be happy. I’m happy when I’m with you.”
He wanted so badly to believe her, but she’d told him more than once that she loved him. That hadn’t stopped her leaving or stopped his heart from breaking each time she did.
“I don’t know what to say.” He had to look away, had to focus on something other than the hurt in her eyes. He couldn’t live his life thinking she would leave when the going got tough or when she got bored. Because deep down, he knew the life she thought she wanted would never be enough.
“I love you.” Tears spilled down her face. She brushed them away and tried to look brave.
She was offering him everything he’d ever wanted. But he didn’t know how they could ever have anything more than what they had now.
“I can’t do this anymore, Ashley. I want to be part of your life, but I’m not sure it’s worth the pain of when you leave. I’m sorry.”
Her mouth dropped open. “I’m not leaving. I want to stay here with you.”
“It wouldn’t work.” A ball of grief lodged in his chest. He looked away from the tears falling down her face. “I’m sorry if you made your decision to work here because of me. If I’d known, I would have— ”
“I understand.” Ashley took a deep breath and pulled back her shoulders. “I shouldn’t have expected you to feel the same way. I’ll call Tess. She’ll take me to her house when she leaves with Logan. Goodbye, Matthew.”
If he thought it was hard watching Ashley leave, it was more difficult seeing her return. Whatever they had was over, and this time he was the one running away.