Chapter 34
Lew had put the case and the box in his car. The boot was still open for the holdall.
‘Put it in here and let me drive you,’ he commanded. ‘We can pick up your car later.’
‘No,’ said Bonnie. ‘I want to take it now so I don’t ever have to come back here.’
‘Are you all right to drive?’ She didn’t look it.
‘I’ll be okay. I’ll take it steady.’
‘You go first,’ he said. ‘I’ll follow close behind and make sure he doesn’t come after you.’ Lew thumbed behind him at the house. ‘What sort of car does he have?’
‘A blue Mondeo,’ Bonnie informed him and reeled off the reg number.
Bonnie turned the engine and immediately stalled it. Her leg didn’t seem to have a bone in it when she pressed down the clutch. She forced herself to concentrate and not look any more of a fool in front of her boss than she did already. She adjusted the rear-view mirror and caught sight of her face. Death warmed up didn’t even touch on it. What on earth must he think of her? Shame rushed into the spaces which the adrenalin had vacated. She looked every inch the wreck outside that she felt inside.
She pulled up in Spring Hill Square car park with Lew at her rust-bucket heels in his polished Audi. She felt shaky and weak as she placed her feet on terra firma but she willed some strength into herself. She couldn’t bear that he might see her as a victim.
‘Let’s take your things into the shop where they’ll be safe. You okay?’ asked Lew, opening up his boot. The warm concern in his voice made her feel even more embarrassed that he’d seen her so low and needy.
‘I will be,’ she said, trying to smile and fearing she looked demonic instead.
‘Come on.’ He handed her the holdall and they walked towards the shop where, once inside, he locked the door behind them and didn’t turn the closed sign around to open. ‘I’ll put the kettle on,’ he said.
‘Oh don’t keep the shop closed because of me, I . . .’ she protested, but Lew was having none of it.
Bonnie sat down on the chair behind the counter and let the tension relax in her body. She was out of that house yet half an hour ago she had been trapped in a room about to try and pull a sink off the wall. It felt as if she had just slid out of a bad dream too fast and was disorientated. She shouldn’t have tried to threaten Stephen with the police. He would see that as a battle line being drawn. She should never have mentioned the police. He wouldn’t, her mind argued. He wouldn’t do what he could do. He would be damaged in the process. But didn’t bees sting even though they knew they would kill themselves too?
Lew returned with two mugs of milky coffee.
‘I think you might need this,’ he said with a gentle chuckle.
Bonnie smiled, wishing he wasn’t looking at her so intently. She wouldn’t want to view herself through his eyes.
‘Thank you,’ she said. ‘I don’t know what I’d have done if you hadn’t come. There’s no one else who would have realised I was missing. Not for days anyway.’
‘You haven’t told any of your friends what you were planning?’ asked Lew, pulling a packet of Florentines out of his pocket and peeling the opening strip.
Friends? One by one she’d lost them all over the years. There was just Valerie and she wouldn’t have wanted to burden her with all this.
‘No, I didn’t tell anyone,’ said Bonnie.
‘Have you put any furniture in storage anywhere?’
‘All I have, I brought with me.’ Bonnie looked at the holdall at her feet. The handle, resting on top, looked like the curve of an upside down smile, as if it knew it held a pathetic dearth of possessions for the life of a forty-two-year-old woman.
‘What are you going to sit on? Or sleep on?’
‘I’ll go shopping,’ said Bonnie.
‘Do you want me to come with you?’
‘God no,’ Bonnie protested. She didn’t want Lew seeing her buying crap, cheap sticks of furniture. ‘But thank you anyway,’ she added quickly.
Lew was about to press his offer to help but stopped himself. Bonnie was a woman with much-valued pride in tatters and he knew she must be feeling uncomfortable and ashamed, though she had no reason to be: he genuinely wanted to help her. He’d have driven her up to Houseworld in Penistone and bought a bed, a sofa, a table for her, but he knew she would never have agreed to it. He wondered what the outcome of the scenario with her husband would have been had he not driven up there, and was so glad he’d followed his instinct.
‘There’s someone looking in the window,’ said Bonnie, pointing to a couple outside. ‘You’d better open up.’
‘I will, but I want you to go home,’ said Lew. ‘To your new home.’
‘No,’ said Bonnie. ‘I had a plan. To get out, come to work and then go to my new house when I finish. Please. That’s what I really want to do. To get back on today’s track. As I wanted it to be.’
Lew waved at the couple and unlocked the door, greeting them warmly as they entered. ‘Yes, we’re open, we were just finishing off a stock-check,’ he said as an excuse.
Bonnie recognised the couple. They’d been in the previous week asking about the Queen Anne-style walnut writing desk. They smiled at her when they saw her.
‘I’m so glad you’re here,’ said the woman. ‘We’d like to buy the desk. I could have kicked myself when we came away without it. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it. We didn’t know if you were on commission so we wanted to make sure we bought it from you, just in case.’
‘Bless you,’ said Bonnie, warmed by their thoughtfulness. ‘Well, it’s here and still available, but it’s certainly been a piece of interest.’ She had slipped into work-mode, which was a blessing for her because it was normal and normal was tantamount to a home.