Chapter 76
It was the oddest sensation sitting opposite a woman to whom he had been married for fourteen years, been intimate with, trusted, loved, honoured his vows for . . . and yet be looking into the eyes of someone he had no feelings about at all. They hadn’t even cheek-kissed when she arrived at the table. Lew had directed that one. In retrospect he thought maybe he should have, out of courtesy, but the moment had passed.
Adriana de Lacey had thought that it would be a good idea now the divorce was in full swing for Lew to meet with his wife and converse civilly, if that were possible. The more a couple argued over the nitty-gritty, the richer it made her, but she was of the school that believed that the more a couple sorted things out between themselves, the easier it made her job – and life for all concerned.
Charlotte was in full designer offensive: the Roland Mouret dress and jacket which Lew always said he liked her in the best, the Tiffany jewellery which Lew had bought for her, and she was carrying the red Lulu Guinness handbag, the present that Lew had left on her pillow the night of ‘Cakefacegate’ so she would have something nice to come back to if the evening hadn’t been quite up to standard. He could have laughed about that, had it not been so tragic. She had lost even more weight, he noticed. He wasn’t sure if that was by design or stress, but either way it didn’t interest him enough to ask.
‘I have to say it was a surprise to hear you wanted this face to face meeting,’ said Charlotte, blue eyes sparkling, red lips glossy and smiling. She picked up her glass of white wine and sipped it delicately. She crossed her long legs and he knew that every movement she was making was especially deliberate and chosen to show her off at her finest.
‘I thought it was best that we were civil. We have a lot to sort out. We could make it relatively painless or throw all our money at the solicitors,’ he said, then lifted his half-pint of diet cola to his lips; a drink that said both this is not a cosy social meeting and I don’t intend for it to last very long.
‘I agree,’ said Charlotte.
‘Have you found somewhere else to live?’ The Krugers wanted to be in by mid-July.
‘I’m going to move in with a friend for a while and then look for something when I get my settlement.’
He wondered which friend. He guessed it wasn’t Gemma, which would only leave Regina. Surely not.
‘I think a full and final settlement would be best, don’t you?’
Charlotte tilted her head at him and then she laughed. ‘Do you now?’ Regina had warned her not to accept this. Lew expected that answer and had prepared for it.
‘This is what I propose.’ He reached in his jacket pocket, pulled out two sheets of folded paper and pushed the top one across the table at her. ‘I’ve been generous.’ And he had, but not stupid. Charlotte picked the sheet up, opened it and read it, long chocolate fingernails showing at either side, like bear talons. ‘It’s a one-time offer. I don’t want any financial association with you, Charlotte. I want a clean break. This, however,’ and he put the second sheet down on the bar table, ‘is what you are entitled to and the most your solicitor will get for you. You can stick your claws into my pensions if you wish, but you’ll be much worse off for it. Your call.’
He saw her throat rise and fall with a small swallow. She flashed a smile at him then, a hurt, brave one. A little part of her had been clinging to the hope that he’d called the meeting to stop the divorce, not accelerate it. Regina had told her to stick her crampons in until he bled, milk Lew for all he was worth, haunt him and make her presence felt every day for the rest of his life. Charlotte thought she would find a little love still left for her in his eyes, but there was nothing. He was looking at her as if she was a client and they were conducting some business. And he would forget about her as soon as the dotted line was signed.
Charlotte had done a lot of thinking in the four weeks since Lew had walked out on her. She missed him terribly, but with her hand on her heart, she didn’t know if she loved him. It wounded her that he didn’t want her any more, but that wasn’t the same thing. She missed the attention he gave her, his company, the chivalrous way he treated her and the lifestyle they had much more than she missed his arms around her. She had been at her wits end when he had his heart attack, but on more than one occasion, she had sat by his hospital bed and mulled over how she would spend the enormous amount of money she’d receive if he didn’t make it and she had to claim on his life insurance policies. She’d had the decency to hate herself for those thoughts.
She hadn’t lied to Lew about sleeping with Jason because she could. She’d been to see him in all honesty about a car problem. He looked like the cock of the walk in his showroom, and she’d been unsure if she was imagining the little flirtations when he asked her into his office for a coffee. So she went back the week after to ask something else, and realised that her intuition was spot on. He’d taken her on his office desk and it had been dirty and raw, dangerous and thrilling and she hadn’t once thought about the gold band on her finger. She didn’t fancy him at all, but he made her feel powerful, sexy, desired, and a little bit evil because she’d got one over on his Miss Goody Two-Shoes wife whom she had never – and would never – be as virtuous as. Just as Jason would never be as fine a man as Lew. He was the best she could have ever had.
Charlotte had also learned that there wasn’t that much in Regina’s life to envy, apart from her money; and Charlotte could have enough of that without having to tear out Lew’s innards and have him think of her often, but with nothing but spitting hatred, which would have been a result for Regina. As soon as she had bought another house, Charlotte had decided that she would never see Regina again.
She looked at the figures on the first sheet once more. He had been more than generous.
‘Okay, I’ll agree to this. I’ll take it in to my solicitor.’ She smiled, desperate to see a little of the old Lew, the one who looked at her with eyes full of love. But he didn’t exist any more. This was another Lew, one that had grown from the ashes of the man she had destroyed. She had no place in this Lew’s life.
‘I thought you would.’ Charlotte heard it as, I thought you would because you’re a greedy cow. He might as well have slapped her.
‘It wasn’t all bad, was it?’ said Charlotte, gulping back a throatful of tears with the last of her wine. ‘We had some lovely times.’
‘We did,’ agreed Lew, but he wasn’t sure any more. He had loved Charlotte very much, but when he stopped to think about it, he couldn’t honestly say he felt loved by her. So many memories were tainted with the stain of the lies bleeding through them now. Moving into The Beeches because they both wanted a large family, the perfect holiday in Bali – he had taken her there to recover from the ‘miscarriage’ . . . he couldn’t unpick the nice memories from the needles, the hidden barbs, the thorns. And he had no intention of even trying.
When Lew got back to the Pot of Gold, the couple with the guide dog were hovering by the entrance. He’d had to shut up shop when he went to meet Charlotte because there was no one to man it whilst he was away.
‘Sorry about that, hope you weren’t waiting long,’ he said, unlocking the door, switching off the alarm, turning the sign around from closed.
He needed an assistant but he’d kept holding off from advertising for one because he hoped Bonnie would come back. Come home. Much as he loved the Pot of Gold, there was something missing because she wasn’t there busying around, making coffees, dusting, arranging, just being there with her coloured dresses and her sunshiney smile. The Pot of Gold had reduced charm when there was no Rainbow Lady there. He had posted the letter through her door only eleven days ago, and yet it felt like forever. He hadn’t lied when he’d said that no one else fitted. Not in the shop, not in his heart. They both had a Bonnie-shaped hole in them.
‘Where’s that lovely woman that works here gone?’ asked the couple.
‘She’s having some well-needed time off,’ said Lew. He said more or less the same thing to Stickalampinit, Long John, Stantiques, Clock Robin, Butterfly Barry, all the traders and dealers who were her friends and wanted to know why she wasn’t there because they were worried about her. They’d asked him to pass on the message that if there was anything she needed help with, she only had to ask. Every time they came through the doors, they’d enquire when she’d be back. Tell her to hurry up, they said. Tell her the place isn’t the same without her. He’d told them all that she was having a couple of weeks away to ‘sort things out’. He left the reason vague. He didn’t want to admit that she’d gone for good because saying it aloud would make it real.