~17~

Raj lowered his tumbler slowly, his eyes fixed on me.

“I didn’t think you wanted to,” his tone was so soft, so gauging.

“When do I not want to fuck you, Ragee?” my voice dropped from the emotion in the memory of MaMa’s name for me when it came to mind. I swallowed and licked my lips. “I mean…”

“You had a rough time with—”

“That has nothing to do with you. What she said about me being a…”

“Ain’t true,” his words were matter of fact. “I’ve been with whores. I know a whore when I see one. You’re a woman aware of your sexuality, just like your grandparents taught you to be.”

“She only said that because it was no secret…” my damn voice cracked again. “…what Sheldon and I did. We were caught twice in her house. She doesn’t know anything about me. She doesn’t even know another lover other than you. She’s just—” The waiter returning quieted me.

Raj quickly raised his hand, dismissing him. And without a word, he retreated out of the dining room.

“It wouldn’t matter to me, Wynter. What you did before me wouldn’t change my feelings for you.”

The first tear slipped, and I hated it. I was wearing makeup for goodness sake!

I snorted, needing an escape from this weighty conversation. “You sound like Jesus.”

“‘Cause we stay about our Father’s business.”

He didn’t crack a smile. In fact, Ragee’s expression resembled a glower. It made it difficult to maintain eye contact with him.

“Raj—”

The table shifted and the dinnerware on top rattled as he leaped from his seat. My neck swayed back as he neared me, towering me. I knew what he was there for. There was no room for ambiguity. I wanted him. My body craved him. I jumped up to rope his neck with my arms and captured his mouth. My tongue pushed inside his brandy-lined lips and swiped wildly. He joined me in no time and pulled me against his hardness by my ass. The long gown prevented me from wrapping my shaking legs around him. On a flash decision, I dropped my arms, leaving my weight to him so I could gather the material of the gown in my hands. I lifted it over my hips and straddled him.

He fucking moaned. Moaned in my mouth and automatically, my hips began to thrust him. I couldn’t breathe and withdrew on a pained groan. His mouth descended my neck, teeth scraping down my skin, causing a severe shiver down my spine as I heaved. My head rolled back and eyes fluttered. That’s when I noticed we were in movement. Raj’s grip on me tightened familiarly. My hands went to the back of his head and my hungry pussy pushed against him deeper.

There was a rough thump and we stopped. He lifted me more on his torso and his mouth reached to my cleavage. My fingers clamped down on the back of his neck, lifting my heavy breasts up for his feeding. I was hot, mouth salivating from heavy concentration. Damn, I needed him.

Then he dropped back, and I was straddling him. My eyes opened, and I saw we were back in our room. The door was closed, but for the balcony. My hands rushed greedily to the back of my gown for my zipper. I couldn’t get it past a point near my shoulders and was too rushed to fight it. My hands moved to cup him at the beard and pulled his mouth to me. My tongue glided forcefully against his. His hands went to my back to finish the zipper. My fingers went to his waist between us, vehemently detaching the flap and jerking down the zipper.

His hands disappeared, and we lifted from the bed. That’s when I realized he’d pulled down his pants and boxers. I squatted on my feet to assist. That heavy dick jutted out, slapping my bare ass. The metal of his Apa smacked my nail, causing a sting. But nothing could rival the inferno burning in my groin. I fisted him, my breathing crude in his face. His matching mine. He was lost to my touch, leaning back with his eyes squeezed closed.

I positioned him underneath my soaked lips and roved his head around my juices. Then I sat on him. Recklessly, plopping down without fitting him. I bit my lip, feeling the Apa bar pushing against my walls.

“Shit…” I cried.

The pain and incredible sensation couldn’t be alienated in my mind. I lifted then dropped back down, grabbing him at the breastplate. I did it again, ready to ride him. A storm growing already. I swear, he felt so good as I stroked him up and down I wanted to cry. I opened my eyes, ready to tell him I was going to come. But at the same time, Raj roughly yanked down my bodice, exposing my bouncing breasts. The brewing intensified and imploded.

“Fuck!” I screamed, increasing my thrusts.

My dives turned rabid as I bounced on him, dizzied by an all-consuming orgasm I thought would break me. The metal bar banging at that sensitive spot, rendering me unhinged as I bucked over him. Then I was flipped over onto my back. His mouth was on me hungrily, not giving me a chance to catch my breath. Not wanting to. I didn’t want to. I wanted him to devour me, pound into me to the point of breaking. Raj made me feel more than his body. He made me feel real, valued beyond more than I thought I was worth.

“Daughter, even though sometimes it may feel you were brought here by happenstance, God wants you to know each strand of hair on your head was planted by Him…the time for Him to reveal His purpose for your life is upon you.”

His mouth was at my left ear as he drove powerfully into me. “I didn’t tell the truth earlier. Music…” he puffed. “…ain’t all that appealing because…I ain’t gotta hide in nothing no more.” Then his breathing wasn’t audible, his words were crisp. “Now I can hide in you like this. I don’t need to escape my life when I got you in it.”

My spine arched over the mattress and chin lifted toward the ceiling. “Oh!” I exploded all around him.

My eyes flickered open. A deep breath left my lungs and I kicked one leg over the other. I was bare from head to toe and my skin felt amazing against the sheets. My eyes swung ahead and I saw Raj out on the balcony in just lounge pants. He was leaned over the railing in a brooding posture. I wondered how long he’d been out there under the darkened sky.

As though timed, he rose and turned to come inside. When he slid the door closed, his eyes locked with mine. He crossed the room, dropping his pants along the way. I was insatiably happy to see he was bare underneath. Raj shuffled under the sheet but didn’t come as close as I would have preferred, missing the heat of his big frame in the air-conditioned room. He lay on his back with one arm under his head as he stared up at the ceiling. 

“Another nightmare?”

Thanks to the streak of light from the bulbs on the deck, I could make out his head shaking. He didn’t communicate much more.

“Please talk to me.” My voice was firm, though soft.

“You.”

I gulped hard.

“What about me?”

“You mean so much. Now.” His voice was as deep as the sea we motored through. “We started off wrong. Something feels so…off.”

I couldn’t find my voice to tell him I knew what he meant. I was too afraid to, needing peace with Ragee. A victorious ally, not a fellow-victim of happenstance. Those haunting words of Pastor McKinnon echoed at the most eerie time, leaving me anxious about its meaning.

“I’m scared.”

“Me, too. But you have everything you need.” Me on the other hand…

“Do I have you?”

“Raj—” My entire frame cringed with an unidentified fear.

“Are you in love with me?”

My back shot from the bed and I straddled him, covering him in all I knew I had. “Shhhhhhh…”

Damn…

I hummed, heart filled with a contentment I never knew. The sun beat down on my skin relentlessly. My oversized sunglasses were no match against its rays. But I didn’t mind. The salted breeze pressed against my dampened frame, the waves of my hair flying in the air behind me. My feet were submerged into the cooled turquoise water. And rivaling the wonder of the serenading ocean were the fluid chords of one Ragee McKinnon.

He galloped in front of me on an all white steed, similar to my CoCo back on Arnie’s ranch. This even-tempered pony I straddled was a rich chocolate hue. We’d been out in the ocean with them for a while now, enjoying the contrast of events.

“You good back there, Blue?” Raj’s neck twisted to his right, but he didn’t turn back.

“What’s that you’re singing?”

He faced forward and his head tilted slightly. “Marvin Gaye.”

“Yeah? What’s the name of it?”

There was another pause. “Falling In Love Again.”

“Is that what we listened to in your tub the other day…in Sparta?”

Raj had turned brooding again. Today was day six of our “getaway” that turned out to be a full blown vacation. Last night, we stayed at a small, exclusive bed and breakfast on a private beach called Long Island, here in The Bahamas. It was strange how we passed this region of the Caribbean only to circle around and end our week-long excursion here. But it was just as gorgeous as I’d seen of the other islands this week.

Raj was up before me, running on the beach with Danny G. Then he and Lil Bruh sparred some out there. I watched from the window of our small, cottage style room. He didn’t have breakfast with me. Once I was done, he came into the dining room area saying he had a call that would take about twenty minutes, so be ready in thirty to go out. This was our out. Riding horses in the ocean.  

“Yup. We’re heading in.” He pointed ahead. “You see Ronnie over there?”

“Yeah.” I sighed quietly again, saddened this ride was coming to an end.

I swear this vacation was what I needed. It changed my life goals. Raj was the first to jump into the water then wade over to assist me down. We strolled to the shore with his hand possessively on my ass. There was a lounge set waiting on the empty beach and we each took to a chaise. In an instant, we were being served slushed alcohol I couldn’t get enough of.

As I stretched out, swinging my arm under my head, Raj finally broke.

“I wanna run something past you.”

Squinting, I tossed my glance his way. “I’m listening.”

“For over a year now, I’ve been sponsoring three kids from the state.”

“Sponsoring?”

He nodded. “I heard of a specialty pilot program created to…circumvent the foster care program by taking certain kids into a house in the middle of Nowhere, New Jersey and giving them an education, counseling, and therapy through music and art.” Oh…

“One of the details of the grants is subsidized funding and a three-year-pilot period. I’m paraphrasing, but that’s the gist of it.”

“How’s it been going? What exactly do you do? Just write a check?” I pulled in another sip through the straw.

“It could be that way. I don’t think there are a lot of sponsors—the program’s small. But I specifically chose my three based on their stories.”

“What do you mean?”

“All three are boys and they were molested.”

I turned to find him facing me. Raj always watched me for my reaction. It made me super self-conscious and unfairly gave me little time to adjust. But this time, I rolled with it.

“Okay,” I murmured thoughtfully. “That would make sense. You put your money on things you can relate to.”

“They were all molested by women.”

I nodded, hoping by him knowing I accepted it, it would provide comfort.

Raj looked away, eyes squinting behind his sunglasses as he gazed into the sky. “The program got the ax, thanks to the new governor.”

“Oh, wow.” My face tightened with sympathy. “What does that mean for the kids?”

It took a few long seconds, but finally Raj turned to face me again.

“Adoption or foster care.”

Shit…

That’s when I understood his pensiveness all damn morning.

My legs strained as they floated in the cool water. I could feel the muscles in my arms curl into hard bolts as my elbows were planted on the ledge of the pool, leveled with my shoulders. My toes curled when she gained the rhythm of her hands, fisting me so snuggly.

“Yo, Raj, we ‘bout to get a game going in the billiard room!” I heard from the back of me, and quickly figured if I ignored him, he’d go away.

Her jaws sucked in the Apa bar, pulling it up toward her throat. I had to swallow the glob of saliva collected in my mouth. My lips pressed hard against my teeth and gums as I squeezed my eyes. Her tongue swirled around and around the head of my cock. 

A few seconds later… “Raj, you hear me out there, homie?”

She did it again, added pressure on the bar. I could feel the blood rushing to the tip. My head fell backward and I used my legs to pull her into me.

“Ragee!” He called again, this time louder. Closer. “You ‘on’t hear me?”

I tossed my arm in the air as my head whipped around, seeing Lil Bruh head my way.

“Hold!” I shouted and watched the smile drain from his face.

When he saw my mouth ball tightly and lift as I tried to tell him to scram, Lil Bruh’s eyes blew up and he started to back away with his palms in the air.

She sucked the bar again, bringing that yanking sensation border-lining pain, and I grunted. Then her mouth was gone. Wynter was coming up for air. She emerged from the water with a big smile and curled lashes. My chest clenched at the sight of her.

“Told you I could get you up.” Her hand clutched my shoulder to anchor herself as she untied the string at the back of her neck. The thin white material of the top of her bikini fell from her tits, revealing the hard tips of her chocolate areolas. Her smile disappeared as she rubbed them against my chest. The way her lips were parted and the tip of her tongue pushed through her teeth had my body heating all over. “Could you cum with me down there?” she whispered before pushing her tongue in my mouth.

My hands curled into fists on the ridge of the pool.

When she pulled back, Wynter’s eyes were slanted. “You need a place to put it?”

I knew what she was talking about. Before she challenged herself to go down on me in the pool, I told her I didn’t want to soil the water. I didn’t expect her to swallow down there.

I nodded, glad she saw it my way.

Then her hand was on my dick beneath her. Wynter wanted it in the pool. We were outside, on the second deck from the top. The only thing above was the master suite and the black sky.

She tossed her head to the right. “Move to the steps so I can slide down.”

I had no idea what she meant, but her hot mouth was on me again and all I knew to do was obey. I shifted to the steps and went up a few until we were mostly out of the water.

“Stop,” she whispered against my lips and adjusted herself onto me.

I groaned as she wiggled over me.

Her head swiped softly to the left. “Let’s go back so I can ride the shit out of you.”

I grabbed her face and kissed her like a savage while stepping down until we were more than waist level.

Wynter used my shoulders as an anchor and danced on my cock until we both grunted, our bodies smacked wildly against each other.

We got caught. Just as we were coming down from orgasms we endured together and celebrated it with a passionate kiss, Danny G’s friend walked out to the lounge chairs surrounding the pool, looking for her cell phone. As she walked back once finding it, she saw us. It wasn’t hard to figure out, seeing I was topless, straddling him. Raj was completely naked, and my bikini bottom was jacked, half on my ass. We knew it when she stopped and shrieked. We’d startled her and could see when she registered our copulation. Raj was still lodged inside of me.

The idiot had the nerve to snort and call out, “Worldstar!”

Whether it was a joke or not, it was inappropriate to use around a paranoid celebrity like Ragee. Needless to say our time in there was over. We dressed, and I went straight up to our room to shower. Raj went to look for Danny G. I could imagine the conversation he’d have with his date. Danny G was an old friend of Raj’s. They went way back, which explained his protectiveness.

Now, as I sat here dressed on the main deck waiting for Raj, so we could grab dinner off the yacht, I felt horrible. While Raj never pushed me and my adventures away, he never asked for them either. I felt I took advantage. I knew deep within my psyche I could get that man to do whatever I wanted, and that frightened me. It was a heady dose of power that became clear to me on this trip.

As I chewed the inner lining of my lip, careful not to disturb my lipstick, I fought with the whore label MaMa lodged against me last week. I didn’t want him to believe it, though he swore he didn’t.

For fuck’s sake, the man’s six feet, two inches and weighs an athletic two-hundred-thirty pounds! How could I not want to fuck him sunup to sundown?

Exhaling hard, I reclined in the seat, my eyes closed and hand covered my face. I could have passed on this eating off the boat and fucked him up in our suite instead. Attraction was no problem between my fake husband and me.

Movements nearing had me sitting up. It was Danny G.

Shit!

He nodded my way, passing by in a blue suit with a black tee underneath, looking suave. I watched as he stepped off the yacht and down to the village of shoppes we were apparently about to venture to. I saw a sign that said Marina’s Village earlier. My eyes gazed around and realized we were in a parking lot for yachts. They all varied in size, though only one other rivaled the size I sat on.

Lil Bruh zipping past me and into the same path Danny G just did moments ago startled me. My hand was literally over my beating heart. What the fuck was going on?

“Ready, Blue?”

Raj was at my side, towering over me. He looked good as fuck in a white v-neck t-shirt, blue jeans and Ase Garb flip flops. Fuck! His toes were out, giving flair to his virile appearance. I loved it.

I loved him.

Yeah… I’d decided to stop fighting fear a few days ago and give in to it.

I stood nervously, taking his proffered hand. Raj smiled dangerously, deceptively calm, considering what I’d just seen of his staff. But I let him guide me off the boat and down the pier designated to us. As soon as we hit the busy walkway of the retail village, heads began to turn. My nervousness kicked in. If Raj’s security had already left the boat, who would help if he was mobbed? I turned over my shoulder as we walked at a determined pace. Jashon was on our heels with a squinty smile and friendly nod.

Taking a breath, I decided to go with it. Ignoring the stares, points, gasps, and camera flicks, I kept up with Raj. We passed a candy shop, ice cream parlor, restaurants, and kiosks in the middle of the glossed stone patterned concrete. Live music was performed in front of a restaurant, many were distracted with that act and I was grateful. We rounded the curbed walkway and finally moved toward a shop.

A jewelry shop. Ah… Lil Bruh and Danny G were at the door, closing it behind us, my eyes brushed the small place from wall to wall. It was damn near empty. There were men and women behind each of the circular display booths, employees of the place. There were also two women, who looked like customers with their noses in a display case. Before we stopped at one ourselves, I caught one of the women elbow the other.

“Can we see your diamond bracelets?” Raj asked, leaning against the glass.

“Sure,” the man replied, thickly accented. “Any particular number of carats?”

Raj’s auburns landed on me. His eyes smiled. “How many can your ankle hold?”

Huhn?

It was clearly a joke, but I felt like so much of this experience was over my head. I smiled, my head slowly rocking from left to right, not knowing how to respond. From my peripheral, I could see the two women headed for the aisle. They seemed to be on their way to the door to leave.

“Are there ankle weights available to try on for size?” I shrugged with my lips.

“Maybe Meks can help you,” his voice was elevated with that proposal.

My eyes shot over to the salesman. What the fuck was a meks? A universal term for jeweler?

“How you know my damn name?” one of the women uttered, her Bahamian accent thicker than the salesman’s.

Raj straightened, frame now towering mine as we both peered over to the two women. One wore glasses and had thick, perfectly arched brows. She looked like a mother about to whoop her child’s ass.

“The same way you know things about me, I guess,” Raj’s tone was cavalier. “Only difference is I’m sure my intel is more reliable than yours.”

“Oh, you think so?” She swayed to one hip.

My eyes bounced between the two. What the hell was this?

“Facts. I’m here. Right?” Raj grinned with charm. “You’re here, too. On target.”

“I live here, motherfucker.”

Raj shrugged without a care, taking no offense. “Part time. You go to school in the U.S., though. From what I hear, you’re here copping PawKid a gift?”

The woman sucked in a hard breath.

Okay. This was turning downright weird.

“And what’s it to you?”

“Nothing at all. You find everything you need? I can help you out if you need me to.” His smile broadened.

“Man, I don’t need shit from you!” Her face folded and she cried. “You don’t know me!”

“You right. I don’t. But you don’t know me either.” His hand was at the small of my back. “You don’t know my wife either. I appreciate your hustle. Celebrity drama’s always a hit. But when you’re doing it, remember we’re real people.” Her eyes landed on me again then lit with recognition. “Gossip can be fun and all—and yours’s been the most accurate I’ve seen—but it hurts innocent people.”

“You came all the way here—chased me here from the States—for this bullshit here?” her accent was thick and tone so high pitched in her agitation, I almost missed a few of her words. “We’re fair to you. I got mad shit I could post, but I don’t because I use discretion!”

“Really?” Raj’s mouth balled to the side.

“Really!” Her index finger swung in the air. “I have pictures of you and that LeRoy in the gay club from years ago, before you got put on!” My whole body flashed with heat. “And the only reason why we haven’t posted it is because if we do, we have to include the part where you knocked out the guy for tapping you on your shoulder. The poor man only wanted to ask you if you knew where the bathroom was!” My eyes narrowed as she took a step closer, leaned over. “You remember that, Ragee?”

Her accent made her pronunciation of his name humorous and I would have laughed if this was all a game, but it wasn’t. Raj—we—had just descended upon a blogger. A blogger who apparently got underneath his skin. And from what I could deduce since knowing him, only one was close enough to the facts portion of the rumors to be that entity.

Spilling That Hot Tea?

“You knock out a guy asking about the bathroom? I could post that, but we have journalistic integrity, man!”

That sounds homophobic, Raj…

My face fell into my palm. I knew it was better than the story sounding homosexual, but still. Raj’s temper needed to be addressed.

Raj snorted. “Journalistic integrity. You really have that?”

Her neck circled. “You need me to email you the pictures to show proof?”

Raj’s face stretched wide, the first sign of anxiousness from him.

Meks shook her head. “I’m not gonna stand here and argue with you. I don’t post you gay. We know you ain’t gay. Only them thirsty ass fucks of blogs wanna run with that story.”

“Then why do you come with stories at all?” He challenged. Then he switched stances. “Okay. I’m here. My wife’s here. Ask us what you wanna know. We’ll answer it.” I swallowed hard. “You wanna know about Teke? Ask her.”

Meks placed her heavy gaze on me again, peering over her frames. The woman with her maintained a ghosted expression resembling mine. The good news for me was that the menacing security, blocking the doors were with our party.

“She won’t tell me if she slept with him or not. And I don’t need you to confirm him and B City got shelved because of you to believe it.”

“Okay,” Raj croaked as though unbothered by that reveal. “They did.” He shrugged. “Not exclusively me, but yeah.”

Meks shook her head, mumbling something under her breath I couldn’t understand as she rolled her eyes. “That was an insecure move, Ragee.”

“Love’ll do that to you, Meks,” he sang playfully.

Back to charming Ragee…

And I’ll be damned if it didn’t work. With a tilted chin, the woman tossed her head over to challenge him, but she forgot to erase her blushing smile.

Raj broke out in laughter, perceiving the same thing. He moved toward her, towering her frame, too, and hugged her. With his long legs spread wide, he rocked her left and right. The woman she was with giggled. I could hear a second feminine cackle happening in front of Raj’s broad torso.

He stepped back, smiling brightly. “I’m serious. My marriage is delicate. Look at the industry I’m in; everything’s stacked against me. I don’t need the lies, too, especially from someone who actually fishes for the ounce of truth that’s in them.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” she hummed dismissively.

“What’s gonna be the next story?” Meks asked. “A baby?”

“No!”

“No!”

Raj and I replied at the same time.

Meks looked at her companion and they both laughed. “Well, damn!”

Raj and I shared an exchange. It was a mutual understanding, but with so much in tow. He wanted to adopt three boys, only one of which was black. All boys who had survived sexual trauma. They needed so much. More than I was sure I had, especially if I was committing to Raj and his baggage.

“Look,” Meks called his attention. “I ain’t saying we won’t post about you. You do some shit, we sharing it. But I will say you got some balls rolling up in my home like this.” She made some smacking sound with her mouth while rolling her eyes at Lil Bruh and Danny G by the door. “Just watch your back, man. That shit with Mike Brown could’ve been ugly if you wasn’t so pussy whooped over this one here.” With balled lips, Meks gestured to me.

Raj snorted as he glanced my way. “I’m pussy whooped? What if she’s strung off the D?”

“Maaaaaaan,” Meks cried, a phrase I quickly coined as hers. “You done had a couple that was strung off the D. The word is you don’t eat pussy, but they still want you. It’s got to be you that’s whooped.”

Raj nodded, conceding with that theory. I couldn’t believe there was an underground world where truths of celebrities existed.

“What are y’all getting into while in my playground?” Meks asked. “My partner ain’t gonna believe you here, man.”

Raj reared backward toward the counter where the salesman had laid out sparkly diamonds. He pointed toward one and nodded at the man.

“We’re gonna have a bite before we board up and ship out for home.”

Meks made that sucking sound. “You came all this way just to pounce on me in the jewelry store?”

“Nah. We stayed at ya mom’s place on the private beach last night. Was there most of today.” Raj winked at her, arrogance hard at play with that move.

Meks’ eyes went wild as she gasped. “No shit!”

“Nah. No shit. Dope spot. Mad private. The way I like my life.”

Meks stood frozen with disbelief. It was laughable.

That’s when I knew this was all calculated. She was why we bypassed The Bahamas just to end our cruise here. He had her schedule. He knew when she’d be in town and apparently for what.

That night, Raj bought a few pieces. Something for Meks, her mother, her partner at Spilling That Hot Tea, PawKid, and a little something for me, of course.

We had dinner at a restaurant there in the village. It was lively and hella entertaining. Meks had a few drinks and began to spill crazy tea. Like how that infamous blowjob tape of Young Lord wasn’t leaked by Ameerah, but Ameerah was happy about it, wanting the world to know she’d had a piece of Lord. She spilled about retired NBA player, Stenton Rogers’ wife. Her ex-fiancé was allegedly gay, though he recently released a gospel album that flopped. Next she said Stenton got his wife pregnant on purpose when she was in college. Why? Why would a millionaire want to impregnate a broke college student? She even mentioned how Jackson Hunter from L.I.T. Music may have a sister with so many disabilities that she lives in a facility. That was cold!

Meks slurred about Raj’s friend, Azmir Jacobs, being a reformed drug kingpin. Un-fucking-believable! She said he was a millionaire before becoming a CEO, and a documentary was being worked on to prove it. That angered me. Why couldn’t a black man simply be a legitimate businessman? She was losing credibility with me by the story.

When she said something about Trent Bailey’s father-figure dying of AIDS recently, I’d checked out and began plotting how I’d spend the night working off the diamond bracelet I’d just been given.