~9~

 

Word on the street is Ragee got into a fight with Teke from B City. STHT’s connect in Cedars-Sinai said Teke’s face looked like a Mack truck it hit. No police reports have been filed, but I wonder how far this will go. And we all know the reason. #McKinnonGirl

The hell…

My entire frame tensed on the couch.

“Bitch, you ‘bout to wait! I’mma get my full time in!” Van’s growling in my ear to another inmate snapped me out of my shock.

It’s out. The fight… The public knows about it. Shit!

“You there, Wyn?”

With squeezed eyes and after a long exhale, I nodded. “Yeah, Van. I’m here. You barking at people? After the day you’ve had in court today you better be on your best fucking behavior.”

“Nah. That’s this nigga that’s always starting shit up in here, but he know. I’ll knock his punk ass the fuck out,” he grumbled more to himself. “Anyway, you told MaMa, right?”

“No. I told Wanda. Called her as I walked out of the courthouse. She said she was gonna tell MaMa.”

“Why ain’t you? That woulda been a better look coming from you.”

With my legs curled underneath me, I lay the iPad on my lap and pushed my head into the sofa. “Because I’m tired of trying. Tired period. I got so much shit on my plate, I’m willing to forfeit this thing with her. At some point, I gotta accept her for who she is. I have to respect her position. It’s been over ten years now, Van. She’s keeping her stance. It’s time for me to finally get my…place,” A cry croaked and I barely caught it.

“You…” he hesitated. “You crying, Wynter?”

Tears slipped.

“So what if I am?” I tried sounding tougher than I felt.

Van was quiet for a while. That helped me regain myself.

“It’s just that I ‘on’t think I ever seen you cry.” Another long pause. “I ‘on’t think you cried at Daddy’s funeral…”

Because I didn’t.

“I’m fine, Van. Let’s move on.”

“Nah the fuck you ain’t. Since when yo ass start crying an’ shit?”

“I’m married!” I charged. “Of course, I cry.”

“But you said everything’s good witchu and ol’ boy.”

“I’m married, Van.” And so happy you’re coming home so I can have my confidant back…

“You good with him?” His tone was threatening.

I sniffled, dropped my feet to the floor, and straightened to lean over to place the tablet on the coffee table where my laptop and stack of bills were.

“I’m perfectly fine. We need to find out about your job because just like your lawyer said, there’s some fines and fees associated with your minor charges and release.”

“Yeah. You right. I’mma have MaMa call about that tomorrow. In the meantime, you good on my party?”

I rolled my eyes. More money…

“I don’t believe in welcome home parties, but I’m doing this for you. It’ll be something simple, though. We have to get you back to work, Van. That’ll be the biggest success to your release.”

“I know! I know! It’s gone be some low, low type shit. But just something to get all my peoples together at once. Man, Wyn I miss all y’all. You the only one I feel like been here with me through this shit because you that one for me. But even other people I’m tight with. I just gotta see all my peoples—my kids in one place to remind me of who I am—was before this shit.”

I nodded. “I get it. Just walk out of those gates without any problems, Van.”

“I gotchu. I’mma get you fucked up, too. When I get fucked up, you gone be right there with me. But I’mma leave with some pussy. Hope you able to keep up.” He thought quick. “And I ‘on’t mean it the same way, witcha nasty ass, Wyn!” he barked again.

I shook my head. “I don’t understand why the people closest to me call me nasty.”

“Speaking of that: Ragee coming through. Right?”

My belly did a nose dive again at that mention. I could feel my face contort. “I doubt it. He’s getting ready for his tour.” I took a deep breath, rolling the tension from my neck. “And I gotta go. Wanda’s coming over and I need to address my bills at some point now that I’m back.”

My errant curiosity had me tapping on the iPad again, opening Instagram.

“Oh, you good on that front.”

Going down the comments in search of the page’s responses to them, I chuckled with sarcasm. “Not until you get back to work and I find another job, I’m not.”

The line beeped and the automated voice informed us of having twenty seconds left.

“You good with that, baby girl. I thought you knew. I’ll holla at you in a couple of days.”

“Okay,” I half way heard.

“Oh, and Wynter!” his voice had added bass. “Call MaMa! Y’all gone have to talk for the party anyway!”

As I offered a noncommittal, “Yeah,” the line disconnected.

My search was in vain, but I saw Spilling That Hot Tea posted again. It was an update to the last one about Raj and Teke. According to their source, Raj and Teke fought two nights ago at a bar in West Hollywood where L.I.T. Music threw a party for its staff. Supposedly, Ragee got mad because Teke was asked to sing and I was “too” into his performance and Raj blew a gasket and went into a full on rage, beating Teke to a pulp, the B City guys jumped in and fought Raj.

Oddly, that false story made me feel slightly better. It helped me understand this blog didn’t have a telescopic view into my personal life.

It had been over twenty-four hours since I returned to the East Coast and I had yet to speak to anyone from boot camp. Not only was I too embarrassed to, I’d been busy with re-sorting my own life.

As promised, my car was available this morning, parked down in one of Raj’s assigned spots in the garage. I was able to make it to the courthouse and sit through other cases until Van’s came up. Seeing him shuffling into the room shackled like an animal made my stomach lurch. The only relief from that place was hearing the judge agree to the motions for dismissals on most of the erroneous shit they tried to pin on him. Van could be released in less than two weeks. That piece of victory was assuaging.

After court, I ran over to one of his babies’ mother’s house to check in and make sure she saw me in the flesh as a sign of support in his absence. It was still late morning, which meant the kids were still in school. I’d have to arrange time with them soon. They were by different women and therefore needed to be collected and brought together to interface with each other, something Van was good at. I’d do it at least once before his release.

Next, I made a trip over to Ivie’s job to make up for standing her up at the airport yesterday. She brought it up last night as they were preparing to leave. Although she then knew the story, I still felt bad about it. So, I brought over food from her favorite Spanish restaurant, and we chowed down in her small office.

Taking a deep breath, I was now exhausted—mentally and physically—thanks to feeling jet-lagged. As I reached up to scratch my itchy scalp, I was reminded of my desperate need of a hair appointment. This weave had to come out. The problem was I’d become addicted to ShawnNicole’s professional services and the inviting and spa-like atmosphere at the Hair Lounge in the City. It didn’t take long for me to learn why Myisha went so hard on my weave installation when we first met. Her skills were award-winningly unparalleled and bedside manner was that of your girl next door. Accoutrements I couldn’t afford with my dwindling savings. In another month, there’d be no savings to speak of.

My eyes scrolled down to my awaiting bills next to the open laptop, I was prepared to pay the minimum on them again online. I wondered why I hadn’t received my student loan bill email on schedule earlier this week. The moment I plopped down on my knees to log into my email, the elevator bell rang.

I glanced up from the coffee table.

Already?

While toeing toward the foyer, I could hear the doors opening up.

“This fancy, Mommy!” I heard the familiar trill of a child.

My face opened as wide as my heart expanded and I moved faster. Upon my approach, I could see their heads were lifted and eyes bouncing against the large gold framed artwork hanging from the tall black walls. Their bodies reflected in the shiny checkerboard marble floors. Wanda was holding a folded B-Way Burger paper bag and Asia’s legs seemed to have doubled in height, though I knew it was impossible. But man, what a difference a few months away from family could do!

“You’re going to be able to fit into your momma’s shoes soon, missy!” I extended my arms as I stretched them wide for Asia.

She smiled, but not as unbridled as I was accustomed to from her. In fact, her lackluster demeanor was not what I’d gotten from her over the phone recently. Miss Asia hugged me back, but not too long and she didn’t speak, only giggled.

I pulled back, still holding her at the arms. “What’s the dealy, yo?”

She chewed on her bottom lip as she smiled. “Nothing.” Her eyes kept sweeping up and around.

“This place is bad!” Wanda whistled from above me.

Oh!

“Is that why you’re acting shy? Because you’re in a new environment?” I asked Asia as I held her by the arms. “You think I’m new because this place is to us?”

“No,” she chirped rapidly.

I didn’t believe her, though. Asia had never been so subdued with me.

“You been crying about wanting to see Wynter. Now you here and acting shy, Asia?”

“No.” Asia was just as quick with that syllable.

I stood to my feet and took her by the hand. “Come on. Let’s go to the kitchen. You got some good food, I see.”

“I got some for you, too,” Wanda announced behind me. “I know you love their double cheese.”

“You look skinny,” Asia finally exposed her true nature.

I turned to her and blushed. “I know, right? I lost weight because I gave up B-Way Burger.” Then I peered over to Wanda, whose eyes I still hadn’t caught as she scoped the place out. “Sorry. I’ll pass. Mya and Ivie brought some yesterday in a moment of my weakness.” Wanda didn’t respond, still lost in exploration.

We arrived into the kitchen where I took Asia’s jacket and gave Wanda a plate for her food. Once we were all seated, Asia began to eat her cheeseburger and onion rings.

“Your hair looks great, girl,” I complimented Asia.

“We just left Ms. Tootie’s from getting it braided,” Wanda shared. “You believe she went up to fifty-five dollars now?” She sucked her teeth.

“She must be popping now,” I joked. “Anyway. So, how are you?”

“I’m good.”

My brows lifted. “Things didn’t work out in PA?”

Wanda shook her head. “I’m over him.”

“No, you ain’t,” Miss Asia garbled.

“Watch your business, Asia!” Wanda scolded.

Asia rolled her eyes and pulled out her device to escape into. I couldn’t stop gaping at her new mature appearance. Had it been that long?

“I told MaMa about the party. She said we gotta have it at her place.”

“Oh, okay.” It was fine, seeing her place was bigger than Van’s first baby mother’s.

“She said we should buy a grill to barbeque some food. It should be warm enough.”

I nodded. “If not, people could stay inside and whoever’s manning the grill can stay out there with it.”

“Yeah. She want Sheldon to do it.”

At hearing her mother inform me of that, Asia’s eyes cut to me. Wanda stayed busy toying with her cuticles. Apparently she had a hangnail.

I tried playing it off. “That’s cool!” I breathed, convincingly. “She talk about who’s paying for what?”

“She asked. She said she wanna do the salads, but that’s it.”

“That’s it, huhn?” I sat back and considered that.

“I can do drinks, but not alcohol. I’ll bring water, juice, and soda. My money’s tight, tryna find us a place to stay out here.”

I nodded. “How’s work?”

That concerned me about Wanda. It wasn’t exactly ideal or safe for a forty-seven year old to jump around in employment. Wanda had been at the bank for close to ten years now. She had gained her legs in terms of being vested.

“I didn’t get my same location back, but they got me in Newark. I hate that shit. It’s too much of a commute for one, and the branch ain’t in the safest place.”

I nodded again.

“I’m just glad you’re working. That’s independence.” My eyes skirted quickly over to Asia, fastened to her device as she stuffed an onion ring into her mouth. “I’m really sorry things didn’t work out between you two this time. Relationships are hard.”

One side of her mouth lifted warmly. “I’mma be alright. I just gotta focus on me and my daughter now.”

“You be kissing your husband?” Asia shot out of nowhere.

My forehead tightened. “I think that’s what marriage is. Right? Kissing and fighting.”

“Well, Mommy and Daddy kissed and fought and they ain’t married.”

Wanda grunted, holding her head in her hands as she closed her eyes. “Be quiet and eat, Asia.” Then her torso popped up. “Oh! I forgot. Your mail I got yesterday from the P.O. Box.”

That’s why they were over. She went for her jacket and pulled out a few mail pieces from the inner pocket. I’d forget about the P.O. Box from time to time, because most of my bills and other communications came electronically. I’d gotten the mailbox not too long after I moved in with MaMa and them because I didn’t always get my mail from her address. It would get lost somewhere in the house and sometimes couldn’t be located for weeks. When Wanda and Asia moved in with me, I allowed her to use the P.O. Box and gave her a key. She’d pretty much taken over it similar to the way I gave her dominate share of my apartment.

Just as I was about to toss the mail to the side and catch up with Asia, the bank’s name who held my biggest student loan caught my eye. The envelope was thin—unusually thin, subconsciously causing me to grab it. Wanda’s phone chirped, and she began addressing it.

My mouth dropped after I read the first two lines then skipped down to the tables filled with numbers. The balance of my loan was zero dollars?

“Whoa shit…” I whispered.

“Nice language, Blue,” Asia sassed.

“What’s wrong?” Wanda asked.

I shook my head, mentally doing the same. “This says my loan is paid off. They need to quit before people take them to court when they stop paying,” my tone was dry, but mind boggled.

“Oh, that’s why Van wanted your account information?”

“What?” My face tightened again.

“A couple of weeks ago, he had me go by his place and get some of your old mail. I ain’t think nothing of it ‘cause I knew y’all pay each other’s bills. He had me drop it off to some guy in the Starbucks downstairs. That’s how I knew where this place was when I told you I’d drop the mail off.”

“Guy?” I asked. “What guy?”

“Some light skinned kid with a fade.” She shrugged. “Pretty boy.”

That sounded like Jashon. He called last night on assignment from Raj. Why Jashon? He was an assistant’s assistant.

“Daaaaamn,” she hummed. Wanda sights sailed around the kitchen. “Is every room black and white? This is nice shit…” she murmured.

“Pretty much,” I whispered just as low as her, but my mind was on what the hell was happening.

“I ain’t even know Jersey City was popping like this!” Wanda continued as I slipped into my own thoughts of what I’d just discovered. “I remember when I used to come out here with ya daddy, Junior.” Junior? That name gave me pause. It wasn’t a name or reference I heard often. I fought to school my expression. “He used to love some damn JC girls! They lived in decent houses bigger than ours. But nothing like this fancy building. Shoot! Maybe I should be looking over here for a place. Well, not this. I can’t afford this!”

Her phone rang, mercifully interrupting her. Wanda stood to answer and walked across the room. I left to grab my laptop. When I came back, I logged onto my account.

You’re shittin’ me…

My online account reflected a zero balance, too. Did they send this acknowledgment electronically? No. I hadn’t received a thing from them, I reminded myself. As Wanda chatted secretively on the phone and Asia engaged her device, I thought hard. Wanda said bills. Van knew my credit card information, too. He’d paid on that often because much of it was his charges for the kids, babies’ mothers, and their homes and cars.

That’s when I went to my MasterCard account and saw there was a zero balance there, too. Next, I went to my Visa. Paid in full, too!

“Oh, my God,” I breathed, holding my chest.

“You okay?” Asia asked.

I nodded, out of breath.

Who paid this?

That answer should have been obvious. Van had no money to pay this off. The only way he could have would have been through illegal means. That fool knew I’d cut his balls off for that. This had to be—

“Your husband ain’t here?” Asia asked.

Something about her tone and delivery told me she felt a way about the concept of me having a husband she didn’t know. And that was likely why she was restrained this evening.

I shook my head. “He’s at his other place, out west. Sparta.”

“Never heard of that.” She twisted her lips.

“I wouldn’t think you have.”

“Y’all mad at each other?”

“Why you ask that?”

“Because he shouldn’t be in another place while you living here.”

My face folded. “Why do you think I live her—” I caught myself asking a stupid ass question.

Asia was eight years old. She came over to the place where I was dressed in hot yoga shorts, a tank with no bra underneath, and ankle socks. Why wouldn’t she assume this was my home?

“I think you made him mad.”

My head dropped to the side. “Why?”

“‘Cause you ain’t even like boyfriends. Remember? And girls who don’t like boyfriends don’t get husbands.  You told me it was hard to bypass one step to get to the other.”

My mouth dropped at that. Kids remembered the damnedest things. I did say that to her the night I told her I quit my job.

“You know, I really talk to you too much.” My eyes closed and I whispered to myself, “That’s not healthy.”

“What’s not?”

I shook it out of my head. “Nothing.” Swallowing hard, I took a deep breath. “It’s complicated, but there is an order to dating; you’re right. Because when you miss a step, you can screw up the whole thing.”

“Did you and Ragee skip a step?” I hardly believed Asia was following me.

But she tried. She always tried.

“Lots of them. He reminded me yesterday when he said some mean things and dropped me off here while he went his own way.” I shrugged.

“I think he loves you.” Her expression was deadpan.

What did this little girl know about love?

But I entertained her. I always entertained Miss Asia. “Why do you think that?” my tone was doubtful.

Her little head twisted as her eyes perused the plush, state of the art kitchen. “Because he dropped you off here, at his place. He didn’t get mad, cuss you out then kick you out like my daddy did my mommy,” she whispered the last part. “You don’t get mad and kick people out if you love them.”

My heart tore. Asia’s parents fought a lot. As strange as I found her father, I didn’t think him to be cruel. Van and I analyzed that a lot over the years while they rode the breakup to make up ride. They were hard lovers, but she was right. It was cold of him to throw his child and her mother out. Maybe Asia only understood what a child could when it came to relationships between adults.

“Asia, couples say ugly things to each other lots. That’s why they’re called fights. You toss words to hurt. It’s wrong, but not unheard of.”

“Then why you still mad at your husband? You said he said mean things to you yesterday.” She shook her head in a “duh” manner. “At least, he didn’t kick you out. He brought you to a fancy place.”

I slapped my face, feeling like I walked right into that. “I say a lot of crap I shouldn’t.”

“So do Ragee.”

My eyes opened to find her catatonic expression. Asia reminded me of her old soul, which was why I’d been so drawn to her. When she widened my line of vision beyond just my bootleg ass relationship, she had a point. What Raj and I had was pretend, unlike Wanda and her daughter’s father. They chose each other and still couldn’t get it right. Ragee and I were forced together under unusual circumstances and he could have easily decided to terminate our agreement and send me off broke and packing. Instead, he paid off my debt?

If he did it.

Who else would—could?

And he gave me full rein of his luxury apartment.

I was still angry, still felt betrayed about him leaving me the way he did before Arizona. There were so many unanswered questions.

“Wrap that back up if you’re gonna finish it later.” Wanda popped up at the table. “We have to go, baby. MaMa fussing about her Pick 6.” She rolled her eyes. As she went for her jacket, she sighed. “Let me go get these numbers before the store close and all hell break loose in Garfield.”

After wrapping up what was left of Asia’s food, I walked them out, promising to hang out with Asia more. She needed an occasional break from being underneath an overwhelmed mother all the time. I missed hanging out with her.

When I made it back into the living room with my laptop under my arm, I gazed at my phone lying on the coffee table where I left it earlier. I needed to call Raj. He could explain why he arranged to have my bills taken to Jashon. Why was my business put out there like that?

That’s when it hit me. Van!

“You good with that, baby girl. I thought you knew. I’ll holla at you in a couple of days.”

He’d hinted over to it earlier. They’d been in touch. Since when did Van and Raj communicate? Instantly, I was pissed as fuck I couldn’t call Van for these answers. I had to call him. My eyes didn’t move from my phone as I approached it. I grabbed it from the table. But I paused. Did I really want to reach out to him after his fucking bravado yesterday?

I decided to go for it and tapped to call him. The phone rang a few times before an automated voice mail sounded. At the beep, I sighed before thinking it was best to not leave a message.

I hung up.

My eyes opened to total darkness. The silence of the room rang harshly in my ears. My mouth was crazy dry, and I was thirsty, but still strong. Lifting my face from the floor, I straightened my spine and rolled my neck. I didn’t know how long I’d been at it this time. When I reached for my phone, it lit brightly with the time.

Four hours.

Day two…

Briefly, I scrolled through the notifications for emergencies, though I doubted there would be many. I had thought of that beforehand. My thumb scrolled and scrolled with things that weren’t important. When I got to Wynter’s name, my heart began to beat faster. The temptation to hit her back was strong. But my will had to be stronger.

I caught a blue dot next to Ezra’s name.

Ezra: I haven’t heard from you in days. The song is on rotation on all the stations, I see. That turnaround is pretty astounding. On another note, I feel a tug in my spirit. Please contact me when you’re available.

I moved down the dozens of new texts to see if there was anything from Jashon. When I saw there were none, I hit the sleep button, turned the phone on its face, and slid it away.

Against hearing my stomach growl, I swung my body down, stretched my arms out, and when my face touched the floor again, I began to pour out.

I ran in place while watching one of her soap operas on the floor model screen. I was so engrossed, I forgot what I was doing.

“Girl, you’re like the energizer bunny! I’m getting tired just looking at you.”

I browsed over to her and smiled affectionately. “Grandma, you’re tired because you’re on a treadmill,” I pointed out as she walked at a mild speed right next to me.

She shook her head. “You’re gonna stay skinny, keep it up. I used to be small like that. Your mother, too. I don’t know what them Williams’ genes are like, but even without them being tiny, you’re going to be. Keep it up.”

“She’s going to make a man very happy, too,” my grandfather’s jovial tenor startled me.

Before I could react, he was kissing me on the forehead. Next, he leaned over the treadmill bar and kissed my grandmother square on the lips. I began my run again with a jog before speeding up the pace.

“Oh, what are you talking about, old man?” She playfully pouted.

My grandfather wiggled his fingers on my head, gripping my scalp. He then winked at his wife.

“She’ll never tire of pleasing her husband like her grandmother does me.”

My grandmother’s fair skin reddened like cherries at the cheeks. I didn’t exactly know what my grandfather meant, but knew it was gross. They always carried on like this. We were an affectionate and loving family. I was used to it. The confidence I had at such a young age didn’t come from my mother. It came from her parents, loving me and constantly speaking candidly around me, making me feel a part.

I was hardly interested in boys. It wasn’t a topic they shoved down my throat, but one they didn’t shy away from.

“Well, in that case, it’s true.” My grandmother gave a firm nod then closed her eyes briefly as she held on to the front bars of the machine.

My grandfather laughed with merriment.

Then at my ear he whispered, “Not until he makes your legs shake.”

My brows met. I had no idea what that meant and didn’t give it further thought. While he walked away and into the kitchen, I continued enjoying my day off from school, next to my favorite lady on the planet.

“Look at those legs go!” she cheered. “Keep it up, sweetheart!”

And I did just that as my legs burned.

Now, my thighs were burning as I counted down my last minute and twenty-two seconds on the elliptical. My legs ached from my workout yesterday, but I pushed through it today. I loved the after pain of working out. That memory of my grandmother came to me as I twisted and turned in bed this morning. It was that recollection that propelled me to get my ass up and get back at it today. She was onto something. I enjoyed being active. I got off on being physical. The mountain hike in Arizona thrilled me, though it was a mild pace. But if I were alone, I’d have shot up the rock at high speed—or as fast as my legs would take me.

Since beginning this weight loss journey, it evolved into something more. Fitness. It was the physical aspect that intrigued me and fulfilled a deep ache I never knew I had. After much thought over the past few weeks, I realized the fitness portion was a part of my frenzied attraction to Ragee. He was virile, strong, and active. I’d caught glimpses of him working out before we could stand a civil conversation with each other, but that night I saw him box solidified my attraction to him.

I groaned to myself. Thinking about that man kicked off my anxiety. It had been two days since I called him, and I still hadn’t heard from Raj. No, I didn’t leave a message, but I was sure he saw I’d called. I needed to know about this student loans and credit cards payoff. I was technically a debt-free woman…other than what I owed him for helping me with Van and my budding music career. Besides, how long would he keep me here. I was now his “direct employee.” What did I have to do to keep up with this charade?

When I saw my time was up, I snapped out of my thoughts and stopped the clock on the elliptical. Out of breath, I gingerly stepped off, catching the New York City skyline from the glass floor to ceiling wall ahead. Man, it was nice up here. This gym wasn’t as big or loaded as the one in Sparta, but Raj lived on top of the world here.

My phone pinging caught my attention. I let go of a long breath when I saw Reign’s name. Knowing it was about MaMa, I answered.

“Yes,”

“So, you answer her calls and not mine?” A deeper timbre than Reign’s challenged.

I felt my face harden. “Why are you calling me from her phone?”

“Because you don’t answer from mine. You won’t even text back!”

“That’s because you have no reason to call me!”

“See! You be on that bullshit, Wynter. Why you holding on to shit?”

“Holding on to shit?” I grabbed my forehead, still panting, sweating all over, and now becoming lightheaded from this call. “I’m not the one holding on to shit. I closed a door. You keep fucking knocking!”

“You being stubborn as hell. Why can’t we just be cool? I don’t get that shit. Everybody moved on except for you.”

“Sheldon, I haven’t read the manual for what to do when your ex-boyfriend fucks your family—the family closest to you—yet, but I’m quite confident it covers losing contact with that ex. You made your choice; Reign did, too. Three times!” I jabbed about their children. “In case you need to hear it officially; I’m fucking over it, so don’t fucking call me!”

His menacing chuckle had me positioning my thumb over the end call button.

“I know shit got a lil wild for us back then. But what’s done is done. I’m still in the family—”

I scoffed, “Let’s make one thing clear: you are not in my family. Maybe—”

“My kids is. And you need to get with that shit.”

“Can you give me one logical reason I should?”

“Because like now, Wynter, we gotta do this party for Van. MaMa said you was taking care of it and she wanna barbeque. I’m hitting you up to say I got the grill. I can work that.”

My shoulders sunk. This was crazy…sick. It was exactly as I’d thought. Sheldon had no real reason to call me. And his announcement instantly soured my desire to participate in the party. It reminded me of the sick perpetuation of his toxic existence in the family. It brought back the deep sense of betrayal I felt when I learned of his affair with Reign. The way the family responded… Crickets. No one defended me. No one spared Reign. MaMa I got, but I felt the family at large should have been up in arms. No one protected her. No one stuck up for me.

And when I got my first job in the social work field, I saw how relative yet minor my family’s actions were. I’d met men with sexual deviant stories causing terror in my sleep for days. But they all involved one thing: secrets. No one speaking up on behalf of the victim. Now, while I didn’t consider myself a victim with Sheldon, as our relationship was one-hundred-percent consensual, what he did with Reign was a different story. It also highlighted his predatory undertones in our affair. And no one said shit! With me, I understood. But with Reign, it was a downright travesty.

I recalled Van apologizing the other day, and while I was still confused about why, I never forgot his stance. Sheldon was not exterminated. He was still here with access to us all. Perhaps my escape from my old world these past seven months had provided clearer lenses. Maybe my level of stress with my current world didn’t leave me much patience for the trash in my old. Whatever it was, this felt so wrong.

As I stood, facing the service elevator that would lead me down into the apartment, my mouth hung agape. And a revelation was dropped upon me.

I didn’t have to take this shit anymore.

“Don’t ever call me again. I’m blocking your number and Reign’s to be sure of it.” And I tapped to end the call.

It took a few moments for me to collect myself, but when I did, I felt different. I felt stronger and settled. Finally, I moved for the elevator. On my way down, I realized although I hadn’t been in love with him, for so many years, the issue of Sheldon was a huge weight on my heart. Not because I wanted to be with him, but because it reminded me how alone I was, even in my family. Van was so much, but when it came to Sheldon, I felt like I had no one in life to protect me.

And for the first time in my life, I was hit with a barrage of emotions that had built behind a weakening levee, and I sobbed. By the time I made it into the apartment, I was a blubbering mess. I cried, barreled over the kitchen counter. I didn’t fight the weak emotion, I allowed it. And when I was done, I felt more drained, but not an ounce of regret for it. I grabbed a few paper towels to dry my face and blow the rest of my yesterday out. Then I hobbled my way out of the kitchen and down the hall for a needed shower.

My phone rang again. Wearily, I lifted it to my face. It was Jashon. Though I was in no mood to deal with anything associated with Myisha, Wanda mentioning her meeting up with Jashon had me inclined to answer.

“Hello…”

“Mrs. McKinnon—”

“Wynter,” I corrected weakly, though I was too damn exhausted for another battle.

“Mrs. McKinnon, I was instructed to reference you as such. I’m sorry,” the confidence in his voice momentarily waned. “I’m calling to make you aware you’ll need to prepare for an event with Mr. McKinnon.”

“Can we just call him Raj?”

“Fine. Raj,” he relented.

“When? And what?” I was anxious.

“He’s been invited to a birthday party. It’s business casual. And it’s the day after tomorrow. An evening affair.”

My thoughts went to my closet and hand went to my hair. I was nowhere near prepared to play arm candy. I looked a mess.

“Ummm…”

“I can make you an appointment at the Hair Lounge if you like?”

I skipped a breath. My hair had been something I’d been wanting to address but couldn’t. I didn’t have ShawnNicole money. Using the credit card Raj had given me in Arizona didn’t seem right, especially after clearing all of my cards. I was still stuck on that.

“Please,” I squeaked. “And I’ll find something to wear here. Hopefully, it’ll be appropriate.”

“You don’t have to do that. I’ll have a few dresses dropped off…a few pairs of shoes, too. Pick what you like. Raj’ll be there at six-thirty to pick you up from the garage.”

Garage…

The garage was underneath the building, which meant privacy. I didn’t think paparazzi hung out here in Jersey City, but it wouldn’t hurt to be safe. Of course, he didn’t want the public knowing we were estranged.

“Okay.”

“Good. I’ll get on that right away. And Mrs. McKinnon?”

“Yeah.”

“Please don’t hesitate to call me if you need anything. I’d be more than happy to help.”

“Why?” I recoiled at my absentminded remark.

But was so confused by the changes.

I could hear the masculine chuckle underneath his breath. “Because it’s my job.”

“To help Myisha?”

“No. To assist Ragee.”

“Where’s Ragee? I tried calling him two days ago and haven’t heard back. I’d like to talk to him.”

“He’s away, at a conference of sorts.”

A conference? What type of conference? This was fucking weird. All of it, including Jashon contacting me.

“Where’s Myisha?”

“I don’t know. I’ll text you with the Hair Lounge appointment time and when the clothes will be delivered. Ut!” he chirped. “I don’t have your dress size. Could you text it to me along with your shoe size?”

I was between sizes now and hadn’t done any real shopping lately to know.

But I acquiesced. “O—okay.”