~19~

I lifted my hand over the bubbles and watched the water trickle down again. The staccato of her heartbeat against my shoulders provided a calm I didn’t understand. The bathroom was cooling, but still a little humid from the tub. On top of that warmth was her body heat as she was wrapped around me, her legs looped over my thighs like a pretzel.

Her soft lips pressed against my neck, just beneath my ear. “You sure you’re okay?” Her voice, low, breathy, and authoritative like it was earlier at Grandmother’s.

I nodded.

“You were brave,” she complimented. “And in so many ways.”

“What do you mean?”

“You didn’t tell her the details of your…abuse.” She struggled with the word. “You still want to protect her.”

“I didn’t want her to find out that way.”

“I see.”

She rubbed the body sponge girlie thing she used down my shoulders. It felt like heaven.

“You think Myisha’s going to be okay?”

After calming Myisha down to where she stopped crying, I tried to calm my grandmother. Evangelist Mary had been working on her for a while, but when I was able to make it to her, I sang one of her favorite hymns. It seemed to do the trick after a while. She agreed to go to bed. Evangelist Mary made her tea to take up to her room before we left.

Myisha and I shared a few words. I missed her. A lot. I wasn’t ashamed to admit if it weren’t for Wynter being the best kind of distraction, I would be lost without Myisha. We’d been tight for so long. But Grandmother was right: It was time to leave and cleave. When she used to tell me to clean house, I knew a part of that was Myisha, but I didn’t want to let go. We were co-dependents according to Ezra.

“She has to be.”

“What do you mean?”

“The longer My stayed underneath me, the longer her growth was stunted. She didn’t have to get uncomfortable telling someone who cares about her, about all the craziness she’s been through because I was her comfort. I provided her business and leisure. I cushioned her world. That ain’t been working out well for her. She needs to get shaken up a bit. To learn how to trust someone else.”

“Is that what you did with me? Get uncomfortable.”

“I’m still uncomfortable. Being shaken up every day. And I love it. Need it.”

She drew in a deep breath through her nostrils and readjusted her body beneath me. Legs tightening around my trunk.

“I need you, too.”

That made my dick pulse underneath the water. I still couldn’t believe she loved me. It was something I didn’t think would come for a while, but I didn’t mind keeping her around until it did. I needed this girl. God, I was strung out with need for her and no one else. It felt like a daily task to stay out of my shell of comfort to be in each moment with her. It was something I wanted.

I needed.

“I wish you would’ve told me about Heather being here that morning. I could have nipped this all in the bud right then and there.”

“Yeah. But you still would have let me leave. Myisha’s threat was lethal. She may have been busted, but your hand would have still been pushed.”

I felt my lips going hard. “But I would’ve dealt with Heather. I had dinner with her a couple of weeks later, not knowing she was in my house. And then you said she was upstairs?”

The only time Heather had been on this floor was her first visit to come peep the place before I had it furnished.

“Yeah.” She kissed me again, this time on the forehead. Her hands moved to my chest and she trailed them down to my abs. “Wanna hear something funny?” I leaned my head back to see her face. “I can understand her regret. Like she said, she was a kid when you were victimized. She didn’t know why she lost her friend. She was forced to move on. Then when you got the heart to share it with her—”

“She showed no compassion. You know how hard it was for me to cop to something like that? To trust she wouldn’t tell nobody. I couldn’t sleep through the night for weeks after that.”

“But ultimately, that was Patty’s diabolism that did that. Depravedness of that nature has the longest arms. Look at you,” her voice hiked. “You don’t want children.”

My head whipped around and up to see her. “You want kids now?”

She made it clear she didn’t.

Wynter chuckled from her belly. “What is up with this paranoia with wanting kids. I don’t want kids, Raj. I doubt if I ever will. I don’t think I ever did.”

“So, the boys from Bearing Love?”

She was about to break the news. The boys were a no go.

Her chin dipped as her eyes danced toward the ceiling. “I’m willing to meet them. Low key excited, to be honest.”

I couldn’t help my smile. “Why?”

“Because they’re a side of your passion no one knows about. I’d like to see that.”

Wow…

I couldn’t fully digest those weighty words. I guess helping them out was a passion. It was something I’d been wanting to do for a while but didn’t know how. I wasn’t sold on adoption myself, but at the end of the day, if Wynter wasn’t down, I wouldn’t do it. She had to be on board. 

“You need to call Ezra tonight?”

My forehead tightened. “For what?”

“To talk about what happened today. I know it was a lot on you.”

I lifted my head to look her in the eyes again. “I don’t need Ezra for that. That’s what I’m doing with you right now. It’s why I have a wife, Blue.”

“Ugh!” she groaned and I laughed. “Is that what I have to expect from you? The nickname from my kid cousin?”

“Your kid niece,” my tone turned serious. Every time I thought about how illegitimate Wynter was forced to be all her life, a flutter lanced through my stomach and I got angry. “It’s time to start speaking the truth. No more secrets, remember?”

This time when my eyes crawled up to her, a slow smile spread across her face.

“Time for bed now.”

A grin exploded on my face. “Why does that scare me at my age?”

Wynter’s so nasty…

“Because you know I’m drunk and ready to blow your damn mind.”

When we’d made it to the house from Grandmother’s, she was insistent on us taking shots of Mauve. I didn’t like to gulp my brandy. I preferred sipping it. But she made it seem so adventurous, I couldn’t deny her. I didn’t believe she was drunk, but knew she was oiled.

“Think I wanna start here. Let you lose yours first.”

“I sense a challenge.”

“Nah. That’s my sure thang swelling underneath ya leg right now.”

His scent roused me first. But that was nothing new. I memorized all of his scents, burnt them into the meninges of my mind months ago. Sometimes I’d smell him when he was miles away.

Then his mouth was on me and the dream turned wet or my reality was he was here, wanting me. But I was angry with him and he knew it. Why would he want me? When his slithery tongue roved from my shoulder to just beneath my ear, my eyes fluttered open. As I lay on my side, my head swung over my shoulder to face him.

His auburns glittered with adoration and exhaustion, impossibly. But it was understandable. We’d had a long night.

“Damn, you beautiful!” Mischievous humor sparkled in his tight eyes. “Your makeup is just as perfect as last night.”

“That’s because I fell asleep before washing my face.” Revelation hit. “Ugh! I didn’t sleep with my retainer!” He snickered behind me, causing me to shoot him angry eyes. My eyes squinted and I noticed he was still in his clothes from last night. His tuxedo shirt was unbuttoned at the top, exposing the wiry hairs of his chest above his stark white tank. Then his face dived into my neck, his tongue twirling, causing sparks of pleasure to pop in my groin. “You ain’t even been to sleep yet and you want morning ass.”

“Nah. I need Blue.”

But I was still mad from last night. I had to sit through a long and playful debriefing of last night’s event between him and his old friend. We didn’t get home until close to four in the morning. On top of that, we had guests coming to the house today. I had to prepare mentally for that.

But this negro…

“You wanted me while you were all up in Tori McNabb’s face, kee-keeing it up?” I rolled my eyes.

Raj lifted. “You still on that?”

The deadly stare I gave him answered it for me.

“Come on, boo-boo.” His hands rubbed his eyes like a big ass kid. “You know all my eyes’re for you—the heads, too.”

“I wondered that last night when you were dancing with your old crush,” I grated, sitting up.

I needed to brush my teeth before taking part in a petty, jealous ass argument. Dignity needed to be in store for this.

“Last night was a fundraiser, Wynter. It’s something Tori and I do every year. Our sponsors were there, of course we had to interact. Besides that, we go way back. My pops—”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” I hushed him. “He used to be her trainer.”

“He’s still her consultant.” He rested casually on one arm over the comforter with his pants and socks still on. “We’re like family. Been that way for mad years.” 

“Not when you had a crush on her.”

“You not gonna let me live that down, are you?”

“You haven’t forgotten it or else you wouldn’t have mentioned it when you introduced me to her!” I charged, swinging my feet onto the floor.

Where did this jealousy temperament come from? I’d never been the jealous type.

But I’ve never had much to protect either…

Tori McNabb was the latest female boxing sensation. I swear, before her, the only female boxer I heard anyone making noise about was Laila Ali, but look who her father was. Apparently, Tori hadn’t only been talented in the ring. Her business acumen had garnered her unprecedented endorsements, shining light on the world of female boxing again. Ironically, she was signed to Jackson Hunter’s sports agency, another subsidiary of his public relations firm. It had been astounding to see how small the industry, in fact, was.

But she was kind. She smiled when she addressed me, engaged me a lot, likely sensing my unease. Suddenly, I felt silly. They were like two teenaged boys interfacing: rapping, performing old school dances, and even cracking jokes on each other. Deep down inside, I was insecure about seeing a rare side of my husband with another woman. His dynamic with her was even different than that of Myisha.

As Raj ran his nose provocatively across the skin on the back of my neck, I tried to reconcile my anger and jealousy against the primal need of him he revved when he was this close. Or across the room, musing, lost in his dark mind. Or the artist behind the microphone, hiding behind a mellifluent harmony. Or the businessman, on a conference call about sheetrock and cinderblock wholesalers. I’d been spending copious time with this man over these weeks, learning so much about him. He wanted me close. Needed me, according to him, to feed his obsession.

In the meantime, I took mental notes. Raj had emotional deficiencies, mood swings, and trauma triggers. We still didn’t make love in his beds, here or in Jersey City, regularly. When we did, Raj would likely be on top, in control. I didn’t have a problem with that as long as there was progression in his healing. He’d had a horrible nightmare a couple of days after leaving his grandmother’s, likely because being in that house was a horrific trigger for him. But we got through it. I held him close and whispered words of our shared experiences together to remind him of his present: me, and our future. I rocked him on my bosom until he fell asleep.

As daunting as the experience was, my commitment to him hadn’t wavered. My attraction to him hadn’t weakened. But that voice of reality whispered in the back of my psyche that we’d only just begun. My stamina for his issues was still strong. I was a realist. I knew this would be an exhausting venture. But in my gut, I believed he was worth it. 

“…happiness hasn’t consistently progressed with the years, but our strength together has.” Laura’s words played in my mind often.

But I was happy. I was committed. And our strength together had grown each day.

I stood for the bathroom, needing to relieve myself and wash this makeup off. Shit, now I was soaked between the legs. But I was caught before I could take the second step. Raj’s big frame towered me, snaking around me. His mouth was on that sweet spot beneath my ear. I could feel the muscles around my eyes jump as my lids squeezed closed, trying to mentally escape his nirvanic scent and heat.

“You can act as unaffected as you want. You ‘bout to feel this three-eyed monster, Blue.”

A moan escaped and I involuntarily gave in. Within seconds, I was bent over, holding onto the nightstand while Ragee beat into my sex until I could no longer remember Tori’s connection to my very real, very legitimate husband.

I watched Leech help Harry, one of the grounds guys, with the gas heat lamp post on the back deck. They were spacing them out. In the second week of May, the air was a bit chilled and we were planning to have guests out here. Leech kept an eye on the studio and the grounds people, amongst other things, for me. I watched him work with Harry to figure out why a particular post wasn’t lighting.

In my peripheral, I could see Wynter and Earl stepping out with food for the tables. She mentioned being tired after waking from a nap earlier. When I was done with her, we showered and she crawled back in bed with me after running downstairs to check in with Earl about this afternoon. I’d kept her up late last night, but she had to get used to it. My sleeping patterns varied according to whatever project I was working on. And I was constantly working on something.

Leech was able to figure out the problem after climbing up the post with his pocket gadget. I watched as he screwed something inside, hoping he didn’t fall and hurt something. To be real, I was happy he was distracted. He’d had a rough couple of weeks after losing his mother. She stayed in a home out in East Orange where they were from. They didn’t have much family around, and no money. I wrote the check for a modest homegoing service at a funeral home, specifically what he requested. Leech didn’t want anything more than to lay her to rest respectfully. The cost was low, and nothing was too much for my guy.

“Well, hello, your majesty.” I recognized LeRoy’s voice.

It would be just like him to arrive first. He kissed both of Wynter’s cheeks while holding her at the arms. He examined her from head to toe, something he’d been doing to people strategically since working in the industry. I knew it was his way of leveling them because he didn’t believe he fit in. So he insulted their intelligence by putting them on front street.

As his people filed out onto the patio behind him, he went over to an anxious Earl to do the same. That crazy Earl crushed on the guy so pitifully. After all these years, he refused to get the memo LeRoy wasn’t interested. My cook wasn’t rich enough to capture LeRoy’s attention. They made small talk as they always did when LeRoy had been away for a while.

My attention went back to Leech, who was crawling down the post. Compared to his short stature, the gas lamp was as tall as the Statue of Liberty. I listened while he and Harry spoke about replacement parts when I felt a slap on my shoulder.

“So we’re eating puss now?” LeRoy delivered more like an announcement.

Leech busted out laughing, in spite of his natural inclination to disappear into the wallpaper. Harry’s face turned red. When I turned to LeRoy, I peeped Earl’s bottom lip on the concrete floor. Wynter covered her mouth, frozen in place.

LeRoy stood with his hands cupped at his waist. “I’ll wait.”

I leaned my head to the side. “For your chin to get cracked? ‘Cause that’s all you ‘bout to get.”

He rolled his eyes and found a lounge chair to sprawl into. “All I’m saying is things are changing, and too quickly for my taste.”

“What would make it slow to your pace?”

LeRoy shrugged like a kid, pretending to shift his attention to his cuticles. He did this when he was jealous of me making friends outside of him.

“Well, I’ll wait till you answer that.” I stepped off. “Oh.” I turned back. “This lil gathering is for invited guests only. Tresse and Tab are gonna have to sit it out.” I didn’t wait for an answer about his assistants before walking away.

As I walked toward one of the food tables for a drink, Van, Ivie, and Mya stepped onto the patio. Mya’s eyes were wide with wonder. Ivie hid her reaction well, but couldn’t control her eyes bouncing all around, including out into the gardens. Van looked cool and controlled. I was glad they were prompt. I had to be in the City in less than three hours and didn’t have much time to spare.

I spoke to the three of them right after Wynter did.

“I’m so glad everyone’s on time!” Wynter’s smile was infectious.

She seemed excited about this. Had been talking about it for about a week now. We watched the ladies grab food and Wynter got Van a drink. He eyeballed LeRoy like crazy, probably until it was settled in his mind he wasn’t a threat. Leech and Harry left like LeRoy’s assistants. At some point, Wynter nudged me. That was my cue and I put my empty cup on one of the coffee tables.

“Aye, blessed people!” I slapped my hands together to get their attention. “So glad you were able to make it today.” Wynter was at my side and I pulled her closer by the arm. “The lady here wanted a private moment with our closest friends and family. There’re a few things we need to clarify and catch you up on—”

Mya gasped and smiled so big I thought she was going to pop something in her face. “Are we expecting a baby?” Her shoulders lifted dreamily.

Van’s eyes narrowed.

“No!”

“Nah.” Wynter and I answered at the same time: me with a smile, her with her eyes closed.

“You joining the illuminati?” Ivie asked with a suspicious tone.

My face went tight. I hated that accusation. It was a growing allegation for when success happened for celebrities. I was a man of God: illuminati where?

Wynter laughed, waving her friend off. “Would you quit with that shit! No, girl! I’m trying to become a follower of Jesus, and you wanna bring that craziness up!”

Her joking aside, I was happy to hear her share that out loud. Wynter had been asking me mad questions about Christianity lately. She said it was something she wanted to know more about, but I never pressed her for why.

“Man,” Van mumbled. “Then get to the damn point.”

“Ookay!” Wynter sassed him back. Then she looked up at me before diving in. I tossed her a wink. She was smart, articulate beyond my wildest dreams. Wynter was the perfect one to represent us. The McKinnons. “So, we’d like to first start off by apologizing. We kicked this thing off way wrong, and for every reason but the right one.”

I gave a neck bow to emphasize my apology. LeRoy’s eyes went narrow.

Wynter continued. “You are all aware of the story about how Raj and I were arranged and did not choose each other, some of you are more conversant with the deets than others. It’s been a fucking rough eight months.” I squeezed her shoulder to shun that mouth of hers. We had work to do on it. The only time I didn’t mind the filth flowing from those lips was when she sucked me off, spewing every nasty word in the dictionary about how she enjoyed it and knew I did, too. “But we’ve made it through…stronger. Each day has come with a task, it seems. And each day we’ve chosen to fight.”

She looked up at me again, unable to hide her smile. “Raj and I are together now. It’s still weird to acknowledge we’re married, but we are. Yeah, we know that title is leaps and bounds from where we are, but we’re keeping it until we grow into it.” Her voice cracked.

God…

Wynter was crying again. I pulled her into me more, using both arms to try to comfort her.

“When the fuck did you start crying?” Ivie demanded.

Mya nudged her. “Stop it!”

“Nah. For real, though.” Van sat up in his seat. “This still hard to get used to. You going soft on me now, Wynnie? I ‘on’t like this shit a lil bit.”

Wynter sniffled and wiped her face. “I swear I told myself not to cry during this, but…” Her wet eyes climbed up to me. “As corny as it sounds… I just love the shit out of this human.”

My belly fluttered.

Mya started to stomp her feet into the concrete. My eyes blinked to clear when I noticed she was crying, too. Her fist went to her mouth. “That’s right, Wynter! Claim your love!”

“No!” Ivie argued. “Tears like that is what you do when you’re claiming the D!”

Van and Mya’s heads whipped over to Ivie. I laughed, and LeRoy sat up in his seat. I knew that look. Ivie had awakened the sleeping predator.

“Anyway. We want you guys to know, as our true circle of friends, this is very real. There are no more secrets, no more gray areas.” Her eyes were on me again. “Just pure love.”

“Damn,” I heard Van whisper. “This nigga went poetic on me, too.”

“One question.” Ivie raised her hand. “You still living in Jersey City?”

“Both,” I answered. “but she moved back here for the time being.”

“Oh!” Wynter chirped. “And Raj’s tour kicks off in three days in England…Sunderland. I’ll be going.”

“To just that concert?” Van asked.

“Nah. The whole tour.” When Wynter looked up to me again, I realized I was squeezing her again.

I wanted it clear she would be with me, not behind.

“Damn, Wynter.” Van’s face scrunched. “For how long?”

“Six weeks,” LeRoy answered with his eyes on Ivie. “You can come with if you’d like. I’d love to show you around Dublin—or perhaps Navigli for a retro and romantic excursion.” His voice shifted to baritone and cleverly.

I shook my head. Ivie didn’t know what had hit her. As I glanced down at Wynter, who was biting her bottom lip with wide eyes, I knew she agreed.

I was down to my last domino, my hand covered it as I watched with twitching anticipation for my opponents to finish their go’s. Ragee was able to play on his own hand, an eight.

Cool. Next…

Benjamin—what he asked me to call him when we were introduced an hour ago—pushed his meaty olive hand up and played on the Mexican. A double five.

Damn!

There went my chance of winning in the next round if no one could satisfy it.

“But because I’m a master Domino player. You know I can handle it. Right?” His one brow peaked and lips pouted haughtily. I covered my mouth when I snickered. “Watch closely, folks.”

He slid a five to satisfy it. Whew! And he still had four dominoes left.

Next was Mathew. His top lip pressed into his crooked teeth that pushed from his little mouth as he concentrated hard on reviewing his dominoes. After a few seconds, I knew he’d have to pluck. His shy little eyes darted at me before he leaped up and reached to the side of the table for another domino to hopefully help him out. His head shook, silky chestnut hairs shifting about, telling of his defeat.

Yes!

I rejoiced as the board progressed, but deep inside, I wouldn’t have been mad if he’d won. That Mathew was adorably shy. He even flexed the muscles around his mouth repetitively and I was sure subconsciously, a telling symptom of a disorder. But he was adorable, and his aura was peaceful. Those long eyes warmed my chest every time they rose to me.

The last opponent before my winning play was soul brother Devon.

He took a deep breath, blowing it out with wide eyes as he peered down at his hand.

One domino? What the hell?

Did he tap? I couldn’t recall. Had I been that lost in fighting to my victory that I missed he was down to one before me?

“Y’all know there comes a time in every man’s life when he has to separate hisself from the boys”—He gestured toward me with his forehead—“and ladies. I’m a man!” he spoke up. “And if y’all mans, too, you can take this beating like men!” He slammed the domino down on his thread. “You know! Domino!”

Devon had all the head movements to match his excitement. Raj and Benjamin sighed at their loss. Benjamin knocked his standing dominoes over. I laughed at Devon’s victory dance, his facial expressions with his tongue pushing from his mouth resembled a grown man. Clearly, he had lived a long life, longer than his natural age. I wanted to dance with him but thought it to be inappropriate. It was easy to forget these were broken souls at the table with me when their souls were so bright and pure.

Molly, the woman Raj introduced me to today, stepped inside the living room.

“Okay, guys.” She smiled at the varied moods in the room. “It’s time to say goodbye. Mr. Ragee and his wife have to go.”

“Ah, man!” Benjamin cried. “Only one game? I can’t let this guy sleep with that W!”

“I would show you how it’s done, but you gone have to sleep with two Ls tonight if I did,” Devon continued to gloat.

I couldn’t help my giggle at that. Raj’s laughter was louder.

“Wait,” Mathew muttered, standing to his feet. His big eyes on me. “I gotta go grab something. Stay right here!”

He scrambled out of the living room of their home and jetted up the stairs. Molly’s confused expression matched mine.

“Benji. My dude!” The happiness on Raj’s face couldn’t be any more conspicuous. It melted my heart. “You saw how many dominoes we all had left. You shouldn’t’ve satisfied that double five. Shoulda made us sweat it out.”

“Yup. ‘Cause look.” Devon lifted his winning domino. “This ain’t no five. Ha!” That little tongue pushed out again.

This kid!  

And he was so cute! Just adorable. They all were. And they all had their unique and charming features, making them stand apart. Devon reminded me so much of a young Van. The things that would come out of his mouth made you believe he had wisdom beyond his years. It was just that, in the case of Devon from what Raj shared with me before we got here today, it was likely true. His eyes had seen and mind had been exposed to so much.

Raj shared all of their stories with me to prepare for this visit. It was an inconvenient time, but I pushed to meet them before we left for Europe tonight. Since deciding to give Raj a try, I’d been dying to see what captured a special chamber of his heart. I’d only been here just over an hour and I could see.

They were his mirror. People he could identify with.

She had not stopped smiling since she shook hands with all three of them. There was a twinkle in her eye as she spoke with them, engaging them in conversation I found challenging my first time with them. Wynter even suggested the game when she got Benji talking enough to learn they just played last night and some other kid had won.

I was nervous about Mathew. He was the least trusting one. He didn’t speak a lot again this time, but I could have sworn I saw him smile at her. Benji had a birthday last week and we brought up a few things to celebrate it. And Devon and Mathew both had collected a crazy number of points earned by good behavior measure, according to Molly. So we brought them a few things, too.

But deep down inside, I was nervous. I still found it crazy I told her about this. It was something only Ezra and LeRoy knew. Having her here with me as I got to know them better meant a lot. I didn’t know if it would help with my obsession issues with her or hurt. But we were giving it a try.

While I followed the back and forth between Devon and Benji, clinking from the stairs caught my attention. Mathew was carrying something too big for his little frame down the stairs. Automatically, I stood, passing Molly to help him.

A keyboard…

It was a small one attached to a stand, way too much for him to carry down a flight of steps, but the kid seemed determined. When he made it off the last step, he shot in front of me, pointing to a seat on the sofa where he wanted me to park it. I hooked him up, placing it where he asked. When he sat behind it, I knew he didn’t bring it for me to play and was even more curious.

His little fingers tapped the keys, creating a loose melody to warm up. I remembered those days. Then his head came up and he looked straight across the coffee table to Wynter, who had just finished packing the dominoes back in the box.

“This is for Ms. Wynter.” His little mouth tightened around his teeth as he swallowed.

He had to be nervous because I saw his hands trembling. Then after a few rusty chords, I recognized a melody. It took a minute to recall the exact one. It actually happened at the same time as he began to sing.

“I see us in the park….

Strolling the summer days of imaginings in my head.

And words of my heart…”

I smiled with a pride I didn’t know.

Stevie Wonder…

He was romancing my lady with one of the masters. Mathew’s face stayed down, eyes on the keys, and his harmony was off. He still needed to work on that, but his cadence was more confident than last fall. It was clear he wasn’t a singer, but he definitely was a better key player. He was out of tune most of the time, but something inside wanted to make this a moment for him. So when he got to the chorus, I joined to help him with the key. Devon clapped according to the pace I set with my foot tapping, but little Mathew couldn’t follow, so I constantly made adjustments. That didn’t bother me one bit.

Squatting in front of the coffee table, Wynter’s arms were crossed as her clasped hands rested against her shoulder and she swayed back and forth. The gleam in her eyes told me little Mat had scored. I wondered if he knew. Beyond her, Molly wore basically the same expression.

Mathew may not have been a vocalist yet, but the kid had soul. The song he picked alone spoke to that. By the second chorus, I was lost to days before the pain. I was back to when my heart, desire for romantic love, and passion for music had just begun. Back when I realized I could use this “heavy interest” in instruments to impress the ladies. I’d already known God was pleased when I played—horribly back then. My grandmother made it clear when I picked up an instrument or sang a chord, it was an act of worship. It was a time when I was poor but had no concerns about getting rich. I just wanted to play, to love. To worship.

My eyes lifted to a smitten Wynter Haile McKinnon.

Long before I understood the rhythm of blues…

As we gaited to the truck with me under his arm, Raj hummed “Knocks Me Off My Feet.”

My gaze crawled up to his handsome face hidden beneath a hat and beard. “That was so sweet of Mathew.” I couldn’t help my gushing. “Did you notice how you threw him off for a minute when you started to help him out? It was so cute. His face turned red and it looked like he got an extra boost of confidence.”

“Nah. But I noticed he called you Ms. Wynter instead of Mrs.”

“Raj!” He was incredulous. “He’s an eight year old.”

“Why do you think age and mental capacity kill a male’s libido? You think Arnie’s understanding of you is the same as what it would have been if you were born from the same womb?”

“You’re being ridiculous, and you know it!”

He shrugged as we made it to the truck. We needed to head straight to the airport. Today had been another long day of packing and prep for him. I’d have to make sure he slept for a while on the plane.

He opened the door, but I didn’t get in.

“Aren’t you going to ask me my thoughts about adoption?”

He shook his head. “Nah. Plus, it wouldn’t be fair. I know you got your work cut out for you with me and this tour. Shoot, when we get back in July, we’ll be in L.A. for half a year.” Raj was shooting the movie he was promised all these years. The role that brought him to this crazy arrangement with me. He’d gotten a call from the studio with the green light. I couldn’t be prouder of him. “I’m not one-hundred-percent sold on adoption either. That’s a big step for me. I’m just riding it out, making sure these kids have a little bit of godly favor after their storms.”

I stepped up to him, leaned on the tips of my toes and grabbed him at the sides of his beard. My lips brushed against his soft, moist ones then pressed tenderly into them.

I pulled back with weakened eyelids. “You’re teaching me,” I muttered.

The muscles in his forehead tightened and his eyes contracted with curiosity. “What?”

“The rhyme of love.” Slowly, a smile spread in his eyes, reaching his cheeks. He was thinking of the racy lyrics in the single he, Ezra, and their friend, Dwayne, wrote and released last month. “The rhyme of love is learning relationships aren’t packaged perfectly. Unconditional love can’t be pledged; it has to be acted out obstacle after obstacle. Sex—good sex—is paramount but isn’t a factor. It’s working every day to protect what you value, even in those moments when it’s ugly.” My hands flew into the air defeated—or sure of this theory. “It’s a rhyme because the bad is a part of the composition of love.”

He pulled me into his chest, crushing the lapels of my blazer. His mouth mere centimeters from mine. “You taught me the rhythm of blues, I put you up on the rhyme of love.”

“Oh!” My eyes shot past his nose, into the air. “That’s a song title: Love in Rhythm & Blues.”

“Ha!” His lips were on me.

Tongue in me.