During the carriage ride home Mr. and Mrs. Shepherd attempted to engage Cora in various topics of conversation, no doubt to distract her. But no matter how hard Cora tried, she could not pry her thoughts away from Jonathan. Had he truly gone to the Pembrokes? Had they convinced him that he was a fool for harboring feelings for Cora? Had his feelings towards her changed? She had no way of knowing what had occurred. He had not returned to the Biddings and would most certainly not visit them at Knotting Tree at this late hour. It would therefore be tomorrow before Cora would know anything more. How dreadfully far away that seemed.
The carriage lurched to a stop and the three occupants exited in a far more somber mood than they'd entered. With a sigh, Cora lifted her beautiful blue skirts and wearily climbed the steps to the house, thinking what a waste of an expense all her new gowns had been. Jeffries held the door as they entered. When Cora passed by, he tucked a letter in her hand. "This missive arrived by courier for you about an hour ago, Miss Notley."
She accepted it with a frown, wondering who might have written. The only letters she had exchanged thus far had been with Lady Harriett, but her replies had always arrived with the regular post, not by courier.
A petrifying worry assailed her. Had her parents finally discovered her whereabouts? Had they written to demand her return?
With shaky hands, she quickly tore open the letter and read the signature before breathing a sigh of relief. "It is only Lady Harriett," she said to no one in particular.
"It must be urgent if it came by way of courier," said Mr. Shepherd with a furrowed brow. "Is everything all right?"
Cora scanned the first paragraph only to shake her head with amusement. Lady Harriett had received an invitation for a ball and could not decide if she should wear the green silk or the blue taffeta. Which do you suppose would make my eyes sparkle more? she wrote. I really must have your opinion because I cannot decide on my own. It is a conundrum of the worst sort.
Cora sighed and tucked the letter under her arm. "'Tis only a fashion emergency," she said. "Lady Harriett can be dramatic at times."
"Yes," said Mr. Shepherd. "We are well acquainted with Lady Harriett's dramatics. I am glad to hear it is nothing serious."
Mrs. Shepherd laid her hand on Cora's arm and gave it a gentle squeeze. "Enjoy your letter and try to get some rest, my dear. Tomorrow will be a new and better day, I promise.
"Will it?" Cora tried to smile, but she did not feel it. Tomorrow would most certainly bring a new day—there was no way around that—but a better day? How could it, especially if Jonathan came bearing even more distressing news after his visit with the Pembrokes? Did he truly believe he could convince them to have a change of heart?
From where Cora stood, the only person who could improve the situation for everyone was her, and the only way that she could think to do that was to leave Askern and begin afresh someplace else. Only then could the matter be put to rest.
But that was not the answer either, not when the mere thought of leaving caused her heart to melt into something resembling the muddy slush that came after the snow. She did not have the strength to leave unless Jonathan came as well. Perhaps they could embark on a new life together where no one knew of her folly. Could she ask such of thing of him, or would that mean she did not love him as she should? Which scenario would be better for him? To stay and fight for some sort of life with him or leave quietly on her own and allow him to go on without her?
A mass of dread consumed Cora's already raw stomach. She could not think on this anymore tonight without severe repercussions. Perhaps Mrs. Shepherd was right and the morning would bring a dawning of a different hope—one she could not conceive at the moment.
"Thank you for being so wonderful to me," Cora said, needing to take herself and her sorry disposition off to her room.
Mrs. Shepherd's gaze narrowed. "That sounds rather like the beginning of a goodbye. You are not thinking of leaving, are you, my dear? Because I will not allow it."
Cora managed a smile. "Not when I have nowhere to go at present."
Mrs. Shepherd opened her mouth to say something more, but Mr. Shepherd held up his hand. "Let us not discuss anything more tonight. It would be better to wait and see what tomorrow brings."
Cora nodded in agreement, thankful for his intervention. Her body ached for a soft bed. "I wish you both a good night."
"Goodnight, my dear," said Mrs. Shepherd.
Cora dragged her body up to her room, where she gratefully submitted to Katy's ministrations. Before long, she was tucked under the covers with a warm cup of tea on her bedside table.
Once Katy had slipped out the door, Cora took a sip of the soothing liquid and opened Lady Harriett's letter once more, allowing her head to relax into the pillows. The note could not have arrived at a more timely moment. If anyone could distract Cora from her solemn mood, it was Lady Harriett and her ridiculous fashion woes.
Cora skipped ahead to begin reading where she had left off.
You must think me the most silly and trivial of creatures. While you arise at an inhuman hour and slave away over household duties, I bemoan my fashion troubles. I am beginning to think I need to discover a cause of some sort. If I continue on as I have been for much longer, I will likely become as dull as Lady Rosemont, who can speak intelligently on only two subjects: fashion and the latest on dits. It has been said by some that she has feathers for brains, and I would so hate for people to think the same of me, and yet I do not wish to be considered a bluestocking either. Hmm…
Oh goodness, there I go again. Perhaps I do have feathers for brains after all. (You must write immediately and assure me that I do not. I shall not sleep a wink until I hear from you.) Speaking of which, is all well with you? Has Mr. Ludlow found it necessary to dismiss you again, only to ask you back? Oh my dear, how your last letter made me laugh. I have met Mr. Ludlow, you see, and he struck me as being altogether too serious for his own good. You merely solidified that aspect of his character in my mind. I pray you will instruct him, by your own wonderful example, on how to go about smiling more. Life should be an adventure and not a chore, as you and I both know. Despite the many duties and hardships you must endure, I am certain you find something to smile about every day. That is your gift, and it is my greatest wish that Mr. Ludlow will find the emotion infectious. Perhaps he will fall madly in love with you, and the two of you can create a delicious scandal by wedding—or even better, eloping. Oh, how I should love to hear such news! My opinion of Mr. Ludlow would greatly increase if he proves himself such a romantic.
You are likely blushing furiously, so I will stop my teasing, though you must admit it is a lovely notion, is it not? Perhaps that should be my new cause—to put my pen to paper and write a daring romantic novel. I would be very good at it, you have to admit. Of course, it would be necessary to publish incognito, for I could never admit to doing such a scandalous thing, but it would be great fun nonetheless.
Sadly, the time has come for me to go down to dinner. I wish you were here to advise me on next week's ball as your taste is always impeccable. But alas, you have gone and left me to my own devices. I miss you greatly, my friend. Please write soon so that I may know you are well.
All my love,
Harriett
At the end, there was an added note, written in what appeared to be great haste. The letters, while still in Harriett's style, were not nearly as neat and composed as the rest of her note.
Oh, my dear, Mama has only just returned from town with the most distressing news. It seems the banns have been posted for Sir Gowen and your sister, Miss Rose Notley. Is she not but sixteen? What could your parents possibly be thinking? I am sending this letter to you directly so that you are made aware as soon as possible. I do not know of the time and place of the wedding, only that it could be as soon as a fortnight away. Please write with haste and tell me what you will have me do. I shall act on it straightaway.
Cora's entire body went rigid as she stared at the last paragraph. Rose was to be married to Sir Gowen? Could that possibly be true? How could her parents allow such a union to take place? If Cora had known her flight would result in Rose's capture, she would have stayed or taken her sister with her. Rose was too sweet, too timid, too submissive to ever defy their parents as Cora had done. And now, because Cora was not timid or submissive, it was Rose who would sacrifice her life and marry the horrible Sir Gowen.
Why could you not defy them too, Rose, why?
Without another thought, Cora tossed the letter aside and jumped from her bed. She must return home at once to put a stop to the wedding. How she could do that remained a mystery, but Cora would not stand by and do nothing while her young and innocent sister took her place.
After searching through her room, she located her small portmanteau at the back of her wardrobe and tossed in one of the gowns she had brought with her, along with some underthings. Then she sat at the small secretary's desk and penned two notes: one to Mr. and Mrs. Shepherd and another to Mr. Jonathan Ludlow. If she waited to explain in person, they would insist on accompanying her, which is something she refused to allow them to do. She had burdened them enough.
Her hand shook as she wrote the letter to Jonathan, knowing their future had become even less definitive now. Cora could make no promises or propose any plans. She could only explain what had happened and why she must leave so suddenly, concluding with an apology and "All my love, Cora." Even if Jonathan still wished to marry her, Mr. Notley would never settle for an untitled gentleman when one of his daughters could be wed to a baronet. She signed her name without a flourish and stared at the letter. Her heart had never felt so damaged. It continued to beat on, but with a slow and lifeless cadence. Perhaps she had been right not to expect the blissfulness to last.
Cora crawled back into bed and dosed fitfully until the cloud-coated skies began to lighten. With a yawn, she dragged her weary body from bed once more and dressed in her dependable white muslin gown and matching bonnet. Then she slipped into a warm pelisse, pulled on some gloves, and grasped the handle of her small portmanteau. She gave her lovely room one last glance before leaving it behind and making her way quietly down the stairs and out the door.
The morning air was damp and chilly, but no new rain had fallen, and she was grateful for that. The walk to town would be relatively dry. With any luck she could board the stage and be on her way before the Shepherds discovered her gone.
Jonathan had just finished dressing when Watts knocked and entered his room. "Mr. Shepherd is here to see you, sir. He says the matter is of great urgency and asks that you come at once."
Jonathan frowned and followed his butler out of the room and down to the drawing room where Mr. Shepherd paced in front of the fireplace. He stopped and held out a sealed letter, saying nothing.
Jonathan's frown deepened when he recognized Cora's handwriting. He tore open the seal and quickly read the note before muttering a curse.
"My sentiments exactly," said Mr. Shepherd.
"She's gone then?"
He nodded. "Katy informed Julia as soon as she found an empty bedroom and two notes. While we dressed, I sent a footman to town to delay the stage, but it had already left. I had a feeling the letter she received from Lady Harriett contained some serious news, but Cora looked so frail last night that I thought it best not to meddle and let her rest."
"Why did she not wait? I would have sent her with a maid in one of my carriages and accompanied them," Jonathan said, even though he was not at all surprised. Cora had a mind of her own and would stubbornly behave any way she pleased. It was a quality he found both admirable and frustrating.
"I am certain she did not want to burden us with her problems."
Of course she did not. What Cora failed to realize, however, was that Jonathan would never consider her a burden. She was a bright light in his life, one he did not wish to see diminished. It was the reason he had been so angry with the Pembrokes last night. Cora was the least deserving person of anyone's distain.
"I shall go after her," he said, striding towards the door.
"Would you like me to accompany you?" offered Mr. Shepherd.
Jonathan halted and looked back, wondering why it had taken so long to further his acquaintance with Mr. Shepherd. He was a good man and over the past few weeks had become a good friend. "I thank you, but no. I will go alone."
Mr. Shepherd nodded as though expecting that answer. "As I left, Julia had begun a letter to her daughter, informing Lady Drayson that a Mr. Jonathan Ludlow would likely visit them soon. I hope you do not mind. They are not far from Mooreston and will happily see to your needs while you are there. We will send the letter posthaste so it will arrive before you."
Jonathan swallowed, grateful for their thoughtfulness. "I would like that very much."
Mr. Shepherd walked towards Jonathan and clapped him on the shoulder. "Godspeed, my friend. I hope to see you and Cora back in Askern soon." He placed his beaver on his head and strode out the door.
Less than an hour later, Jonathan did the same.