The days began to fly by in a flurry of shopping, fittings, and more shopping. Christmas and all it entailed came and went fairly quietly, with Mr. and Mrs. Shepherd attending only a few social events and only for the specific purpose of putting the word about that a close friend of Lady Harriett's had come to stay.
Most evenings the Shepherds preferred to dine en famille at Knotting Tree, where they could attend to Jonathan, who visited daily and often returned for dinner or a special event, like lighting the Yule log or collecting greenery to be placed around the house. He even created a kissing bough, which he hung above the drawing room doors and put to use every now and again when Mr. and Mrs. Shepherd were not attending.
They foursome dined a time or two at Tanglewood as well. Upon Cora's arrival, she would sneak away for a few moments to visit her old friends in the kitchen. Sally, with her improved speech, had earned Jonathan's trust once more. He had made her the new housekeeper and Alice one of the housemaids. A new girl had been hired to assist Sally in the still room, and at last, all seemed content at Tanglewood.
Mrs. Caddy and Watts welcomed Cora with smiles of affection, while Harry found it necessary to continue his teasing.
"'Ave you changed your name yet again, Miss Notley?" he said. "Or is it Mrs. Notley now? 'Appen we'll soon be callin' you Mrs. Ludlow, eh? Please say you'll be keepin' that name for at least a time."
Cora tried her best not to blush but failed miserably. She wagged a finger at Harry. "I'll not say anything of the sort and neither should you, Harry. Will you never learn to hold your tongue?"
"Afraid not, Miss—or is it Mrs.? No, it's Miss, but only for now, isn't that so?"
Mrs. Caddy barked out a laugh and the others chuckled as well. Cora stifled her own giggles and attempted to glare at Harry, not that it did much good. He knew all too well that she liked him in spite of his incorrigible nature. She liked them all. They had become very dear to her and would always remain that way.
At the end of her visit, Cora wished everyone well before returning to the drawing room, where Jonathan greeted her with a smile that set her heart to pounding.
He immediately stood and gestured for her to take the vacant spot next to him on the sofa. "Should I be envious that you wished to seek out my servants first and not me?" he teased.
"Very envious," she said with a solemn nod as she sat down. "They are quite a lively bunch in the kitchen."
"I beg your pardon." Mr. Shepherd feigned offense. "Do you mean to say that we are not?"
"Heavens no," said Cora. "I mean to say that you are not as lively."
Mrs. Shepherd laughed, and Jonathan arched an eyebrow at Mr. Shepherd. "I believe Cora has given us a challenge, sir."
"It sounded rather like an insult to me."
"Apparently you do not know her as well as I. Cora is incapable of casting insults. It must therefore be a challenge."
"If you say so," said Mr. Shepherd. "How do you propose we rise to such a challenge, Mr. Ludlow?"
Jonathan pressed his lips together as though giving the matter some thought. "I do know that Cora likes to be entertained. I wonder… do you dance, sir?"
"Only when necessary."
"Juggle?"
"Only figuratively."
This earned a laugh from the others. "What about music. Do you sing?"
"Never."
"Recite poetry?"
Mr. Shepherd made a face, and Cora took the opportunity to intervene. "You may not, Mr. Shepherd, but Jonathan has an ingenious way with words when it comes to poetry. Isn't that right? I seem to recall a very entertaining poem you once composed about a goat." She grinned at him, daring him to deny it.
"You are a poet?" Mrs. Shepherd said, clasping her hands together in a show of delight. "How wonderful. Do tell us about this goat."
"Yes, do," added Mr. Shepherd, settling back with a wicked grin on his face. "Something tells me this evening is about to become very lively indeed."
Jonathan directed a look of challenge at Cora. "It is an entertaining poem, I will admit. However, I will only agree to recite it if Cora will agree to give us a pastry demonstration. Or perhaps instruct us on what she puts in her tea to make it so… restorative."
Cora tried to keep her mouth in a straight line, but she could not contain her laughter for long. "Touché, Jonathan. You have certainly put me in my place yet again."
"If only you were not so quick to leave said place."
His teasing always made her heart glow like a flame on the tip of a candlestick. She liked that he knew her so well and found her weaknesses endearing rather than irritating.
Mr. Shepherd relaxed against the back of the sofa and folded his arms. "I believe we will no longer be privy to a poem about a goat, my dear Mrs. Shepherd. Pray tell, what shall we do now?" He immediately brightened. "What about a reading? Do you have any good books, Mr. Ludlow?"
Mrs. Shepherd placed a hand on her husband's arm and shook her head. "This evening is meant to be a lively one, remember?"
"I propose a game of cards," said Jonathan. "Instead of wagering valuables, we can wager kisses."
"Yes, that would definitely make for a lively evening." Mr. Shepherd grinned at his wife. "What do you say, my dear?"
"I'd say you are both incorrigible wretches," she replied, making everyone laugh. "But a game of whist is always lively, even without a wager."
With no other ideas forthcoming, Jonathan retrieved a deck of cards and the not-so-lively group spent the remainder of the evening pleasantly engaged in a game of whist. They laughed, they talked, they teased, and after the game, when Mr. Shepherd helped Mrs. Shepherd with her coat, Jonathan stole a brief kiss from Cora.
She left with her slippers barely grazing the floor, thinking she could not remember a happier time in all her life. If only it would last forever.
In early January, on an overcast Monday morning, an invitation addressed to Mr. and Mrs. Shepherd and Miss Coralynn Notley arrived in the post. Cora was seated in the drawing room with the Shepherds and worried over her lower lip while Mr. Shepherd scanned the missive.
"Mrs. Bidding is hosting a soirée at her home on Friday next and would like for all of us to attend."
Mrs. Shepherd considered the invitation with pursed lips and a thoughtful nod. "I should have liked for Cora to make her debut at a larger event, but Mrs. Bidding is a dear friend and we cannot decline. Perhaps it is for the best." She paused and looked at Cora. "Mrs. Bidding's parties are usually tepid affairs and therefore not very well attended, so we can ease you in slowly. There are likely to be no more than twenty people in attendance, wouldn't you agree, Stephen?"
He nodded as he perused another letter that had arrived.
"What do you say, Cora?" asked Mrs. Shepherd. "Shall I accept for all of us?"
Large party or small, Cora could not muster any excitement about the prospect. She had little experience with social outings and did not know what to say to people who would likely look down their noses at her.
Mr. Shepherd peeked at Cora over the top of his reading glasses before setting his letter down. He leaned forward, taking her hand in his and giving it a light squeeze. "The Biddings are kind and gracious. They will adore you on sight and welcome you into their home. As for the rest, I do not know how they will react or what they might say. But there is no need for you to admit to being a housekeeper, my dear. People will hear what they will hear and think what they will think, but if Julia, Mr. Ludlow, and I remain silent on the subject, no one will ever really know what truly transpired, will they?"
Cora could not argue with that, but she was fairly certain that if asked, she would not be able to hide the truth. Had Jonathan not said that her eyes were too honest and her expressions too telling? As things stood now, Cora was far more likely to add fuel to the gossip than stifle it, but she also knew she could not stay hidden away at Knotting Tree forever. That would be an act of cowardice, and she refused to think of herself as a coward.
She lifted her chin and nodded. "Let us send our acceptance for what is sure to be a delightful evening."
"I would not count on it," said Mr. Shepherd with a small smile. "Julia was being kind when she described the Bidding's parties as tepid. In reality, they are much like reading a dictionary."
Cora decided to take comfort in that. A small party would definitely be the preferable place to begin and she would be grateful for it. But as each day passed, bringing them closer to the day of the soirée, she could not quiet her anxiety. Though she was no stranger to a good snubbing, she had never been able to ignore the sting that came with it. Mr. and Mrs. Bidding had been kind to invite her, but what if all others in attendance only accepted because they wanted to get a look at the woman who'd behaved so scandalously? Once they'd seen for themselves that she was no one of importance, would she be forever ostracized from the community? Would rumors spread about her and Jonathan? Would he come to realize that she was not worth his notice?
By the time the day of the party came, Cora's stomach had wound itself into the most intricate of knots. She stared at her reflection in the mirror as Katy pushed a few last pins into place, creating a lovely coiffure.
"I'm shaking," Cora said, holding out her quivering hands for inspection.
The maid wasn't overly sympathetic. "What do you expect after eatin' practically nothin' all day? Course you're shakin'!" Katy had brought up a tray earlier and Cora had not touched it. She was certain that if she ate even a single bite, it would come right back up in the most unladylike of ways.
"I am not at all hungry," said Cora.
"'Tis your nerves trickin' your belly into thinkin' that, Miss. You need to eat somethin' or you're like to faint."
Trickery or no trickery, Cora could not even look at the food without feeling queasy. She glanced at her maid, hating that she needed to ask the question she had promised herself she would never voice out loud. But she had to know. "Katy, will you tell me what is being said below stairs about me?"
Katy frowned for a moment, then shrugged. "Not much anymore, Miss. Some used to think you took to bein' a 'ousekeeper so as to catch Mr. Ludlow's eye, but I set 'em straight and told them to stop their tongue-waggin'."
The maid seemed quite pleased with her answer, but it did nothing to settle Cora's nerves. She should have left the question unasked, but it was too late now.
Cora mustered a kind smile. "Thank you for saying so, Katy. And I don't know how, but you've performed a miracle with my hair. It has never looked more lovely."
Katy blushed rosily. "Thank you, Miss, but we both know 'tis you who makes it lovely. Now don't keep Mr. and Mrs. Shepherd waitin' any longer. Off you go now."
Cora picked up her wrap and slowly made her way to the stairs. Mr. and Mrs. Shepherd waited in the great hall below, talking quietly. As soon as they heard Cora's footsteps descending the stairs, Mrs. Shepherd looked up and clapped her hands. "Oh, my dear, it's just as I suspected. That blue is ravishing on you. It puts a sparkle in your eyes and makes you look most angelic. Don't you agree, Stephen?"
"Heartily."
When Cora reached the bottom step, he held out one arm to his wife and the other to Cora. "I shall be the envy of every man in attendance tonight."
"Let us pray there will not be many of them." Cora pressed her palm to her queasy stomach. "I don't think I have ever felt more nervous, not even when I first set off for Yorkshire."
Mr. Shepherd patted her hand. "You have nothing to fear. We are running a bit behind schedule, so you will not be forced to mingle overly long. Then we will partake of the blandest meal you will ever eat and be subjected to the dullest entertainment you could possibly imagine. Our last experience involved listening to an extremely long reading of Lady of the Lake. Being an avid reader, you would think I would have enjoyed such a performance, but the man's lifeless and monotone voice put me straight to sleep."
Mrs. Shepherd nodded her agreement. "He is speaking the truth, I'm afraid. Every time Stephen began snoring I had to nudge him awake. It was most taxing, believe me, and I'd never been more relieved for any performance to end."
Cora smiled as they descended to the waiting coach. If she had to make a debut, at least she could make it with Mr. and Mrs. Shepherd at her side and not her own parents. That thought alone gave her some comfort.
The cold air nipped at her nose and whipped across the back of her neck, sending shivers down her spine. She tugged her wrap tighter about her before climbing inside and settling in the seat across from the Shepherds. Her gaze immediately strayed to the small window, where she peered into the darkness. The snow had not lasted more than a day or two and they had seen no more of it since the evening that had changed everything for Cora. There had only been overcast skies, rain, sleet, and fierce winds that had rattled the window panes and woke her up at night.
It all felt like a dark omen now.
While Mr. and Mrs. Shepherd conversed quietly about a book he'd recently read, Cora remained content to watch the shadows play across the landscape, swaying back and forth as the coach rattled onward. Jonathan would be in attendance tonight as well. The thought should have given her some comfort, but Cora did not know what to expect from him either. Would he speak briefly and casually to her, as though they were mere acquaintances, or would he look at her with warmth and tenderness as he did when they were together at Knotting Tree or Tanglewood? It was not the thing to hang on a gentleman's arm all evening, but she hoped he would attend to her for a least a time. She needed to know that he did not regret loving her.
The coach slowed and turned, making its way up the carriage path towards the house. Cora watched the building grow larger and larger as they approached. Light spilled from every window, casting a yellow glow across the stone. It looked warm and welcoming, and Cora could only pray those already inside would be the same.
The coach stopped, and the door creaked open. Mr. Shepherd descended first, followed by Mrs. Shepherd, and then Cora. As before, Mr. Shepherd took both ladies by the arm and led them to the entrance, where a butler ushered the party to where Mr. and Mrs. Bidding waited. Cora had to clench her teeth to keep her jaw from dropping at the sight of their hostess. She was the tallest woman Cora had ever seen and appeared so very grim. Her features were almost more manly than womanly, but her burgundy gown was stunning. It had a delicate silver overskirt that glittered with every movement the woman made. At her side stood a slightly shorter, more portly gentleman with a balding head, a sharp nose, and the same grim expression.
"Mrs. Bidding, Mr. Bidding, what a welcome sight you are," Mrs. Shepherd said brightly, even though their host and hostess looked anything but welcoming. "Please allow me to introduce our dear Miss Notley." She gestured to Cora, and Mr. Bidding managed a pained smile.
Cora forced her lips upwards as well, all the while wondering at the cold reception. Did Mrs. Shepherd not claim them as dear friends? Had Mrs. Bidding not included Cora's name on the invitation, written in her own hand? Why then, did the Biddings seem so displeased to see them? Cora had expected this reaction from others but not her host and hostess.
"Mrs. Bidding, whatever's the matter?" inquired Mrs. Shepherd, apparently unable to ignore the tension any longer.
Mrs. Bidding heaved a sigh and frowned. "I wish I did not have to tell you this, but it appears as though our party will be much smaller than expected. All of the other guests, with the exception of Mr. Ludlow, have been sending their excuses since this morning. We received the last of them not twenty minutes ago."
"What?" breathed Mrs. Shepherd at the same time Mr. Shepherd muttered a few select words that earned him a glare from his wife.
Mrs. Bidding's gaze drifted to Cora for a moment. "Only yesterday, Lord and Lady Pembroke became suspiciously ill and sent a note around saying they would not be able to come after all. Apparently, whatever ails them is quite catching, for today everyone seems to be affected by it, other than us of course."
"How very fortunate that we are still in good health," said Mr. Shepherd dryly.
"Indeed," said Mrs. Bidding, looking at Cora once more. She must have thought Cora required additional enlightenment because she added, "The Pembrokes are the highest ranked family in the province and carry a great deal of influence."
Cora had already surmised as much, but that didn't stop her fingers from tightening around Mr. Shepherd's arm as something resembling anger stirred inside her. What a ninny she had been to worry about making conversation with others. It had never occurred to her that she would not be given the opportunity to speak with them. She felt the cut as keenly as she had felt it numerous times before, only this time it ran deeper because it extended to the Shepherds, Jonathan, and even the Biddings. How could people be so callous and cruel? She would never understand it.
"This is all my doing," said Cora woodenly. "You should not have invited me, Mr. and Mrs. Bidding, or I should not have accepted."
Mrs. Bidding sighed. "Of course we should have. It's just these dratted circumstances. I am beginning to think that Tanglewood inspires scandal in anyone who occupies it."
Mr. Shepherd uttered a mirthless chuckle. "That seems to be the case, doesn't it? And speaking of Tanglewood, has Mr. Ludlow not arrived yet? I had thought we would bring up the tail."
"Oh, yes. He has come and gone, I'm afraid," said Mrs. Bidding with a huff. "Once he heard the news he decided he would pay a visit to the Pembrokes and make certain they are not suffering too greatly. I did my best to discourage him, but of course he would not listen to reason. He will no doubt ring a peel over their heads and be forever ostracized by the family as well."
"It's a sorry business indeed," added Mr. Bidding with a shake of his round head.
"Please tell me you are jesting," said Cora, wide-eyed at the news. Why did Mrs. Bidding wait until now to reveal that bit of information? Why did she not meet them outside and tell them to go after Jonathan with as much haste as possible? Good heavens, what had he been thinking? A confrontation with such an esteemed family would only worsen matters.
Her knees suddenly felt weak and shaky, for she knew what he'd been thinking. He had wanted to defend her honor. No doubt his anger at the situation overcame his good sense, and she could only pray the cold air would chill his temper before he arrived. People like the Pembrokes did not forgive easily.
Mrs. Shepherd shook her head, looking as downtrodden as Cora felt. "What a perfectly wretched thing to have happen. I am truly sorry, Cora. I suppose I should have known better, having experienced a similar situation in my past, but I had hoped more from the people in Askern."
Cora could only swallow and wish that she was anywhere but here. She was well aware of the rules of society and the repercussions that came from breaking or even bending them. Perhaps all would have been forgiven in time had she been born to a genteel family. But that was not the case. She had nothing but the patronage of the Shepherds and the attentions of Jonathan to inspire forgiveness, and though she had held out hope it would be enough, deep down she had known it would not suffice. All she had done was bring the people she cared most about down with her.
"I do hope you will stay," said Mrs. Bidding. "I refuse to tell my cook that she has labored all day for only Mr. Bidding and me."
Mr. Bidding must be a man of few words and even fewer opinions. His nod was almost habitual, as though he was used to agreeing with his wife on any and all matters.
"Of course we will stay," said Mrs. Shepherd firmly.
Cora nodded her acquiescence as well. She was the reason behind this fiasco of an evening and being gracious was the least she could do. She only wished Jonathan had stayed as well.