By the time Jonathan had come to terms with Sally's reinstatement and went in search of Mrs. Notley, she had already gone. Her room had been cleared of all personal effects and only Mrs. Caddy and Alice knew of her absence. Apparently, she had asked them to convey her goodbyes to the rest of the staff before slipping out the door.
"Where has she gone?" Jonathan demanded of Mrs. Caddy, annoyed that Mrs. Notley had taken herself off so quickly. Surely she had known that he would come around eventually.
"She wouldn't say, sir," said the cook as she pounded out a large piece of beef with some sort of mallet. "She only said that inexperience finally got the better of 'er and it was time ter go." She set the mallet down and wiped the back of her arm across her perspiring forehead. "Is that true, sir? I thought, after last night, that—"
"No, it is not true," interrupted Jonathan. "We had a bit of a… misunderstanding is all. Which is why I must learn where she has gone."
Mrs. Caddy harrumphed, a sure sign that she had returned to her usual self. Though Jonathan was glad to see it, her seeming indifference annoyed him. Only last night the woman had made an argument on behalf of Mrs. Notley, and now she didn't seem to care a fig that the housekeeper had gone.
"Will she be comin' back then?" Mrs. Caddy asked as she rubbed the meat with some sort of seasoning.
"It is my hope that she will."
"Glad to 'ear it," said the cook to Jonathan's surprise. Apparently he'd obviously been too hasty in believing the worst of the woman, just as he'd done with Mrs. Notley and Sally.
"Truth be told, I was sorry to see 'er go," added Mrs. Caddy.
Not as sorry as I, Jonathan thought with a sigh. He had a great many things to do today, but now all would have to be put on hold so that he could seek out his elusive housekeeper. How was it possible that she could pack her things and leave so quickly? Every task she attempted to complete typically took twice the amount of time it should.
He glanced at the timid still room maid and gave it one last try. "Alice, can you think of anywhere she might be?"
Alice stared at the floor, and in a voice so quiet he could hardly hear, said, "She seemed ter know some folks at Knottin' Tree. 'Appen she went lookin' for work there?"
Of course! Why hadn't Jonathan thought of that himself? Knotting Tree was the obvious place to begin his search. Mrs. Notley had mentioned she knew Katy and even seemed to be acquainted with Mr. Shepherd as well. Surely someone there would know something more about Mrs. Notley.
"Thank you, Alice," he said. Not wasting another moment, he pushed through the service door and strode towards the stables. With any luck, he would be able to track down his housekeeper and return to Tanglewood within the hour.
Jonathan followed the elderly butler into the drawing room at Knotting Tree, where, much to his astonishment, he discovered Mrs. Notley enjoying a cup of tea with Mr. and Mrs. Shepherd. Only hours before, she had been wearing a gray dress and white apron, appearing every inch a young and attractive housekeeper. Now she wore a lovely peach gown that complimented her figure and made her eyes sparkle in the most captivating way. Jonathan could scarce refrain from staring at her. She looked beautiful, refined, and stately, as though she belonged in this very setting. It brought him back to their first meeting, and not for the first time he wondered about her past.
When the butler announced his presence, Mrs. Notley watched him warily.
Before either of them spoke, Mr. Shepherd came to his feet and cleared his throat. "Mr. Ludlow, how good of you to call. Please join us and forgive our informality. I must say that we were not expecting visitors at this early hour."
"And I was not expecting to find my housekeeper in your drawing room," answered Jonathan, his eyes still on Mrs. Notley. The question in his words weighed heavily between them, bringing with it an awkwardness that caused her to shift uncomfortably. She obviously knew what had brought her here. It was he who did not.
"I am your housekeeper no longer, sir," she finally said, casting a pleading look at Mr. Shepherd, who wasted no time coming to her aid.
"Cora has been telling us about the recent happenings at Tanglewood." Though he spoke with an air of nonchalance, there was an underlying sternness in his tone. "Mrs. Shepherd and I are quite captivated by the tale, are we not, my dear?"
"Quite," she agreed, gesturing to the tea tray. "Would you care for some refreshment, Mr. Ludlow? As you can see, our cook has sent up enough to feed an entire regiment."
Jonathan wasn't the least bit hungry, but he took a seat beside Mrs. Notley—or was it Miss Notley? Cora? He no longer knew what to call the woman. And what, exactly, had she been telling the Shepherds?
As though perceiving his thoughts, she said, "You have rather good timing, Mr. Ludlow. I had just arrived at the moment in the story where you bestowed upon me your ultimatum to either send Sally away or leave myself. Perhaps you would care to take it from there?"
She appeared so calm and collected and perfectly comfortable in this home. He could not make sense of it. How had she come to be Tanglewood's housekeeper if she was in a position to take tea with his nearest, and most distinguished, neighbor? Had this all been a great lark to her—a way to pass the time? Had she thought it would be great fun to play at housekeeping for a few weeks, stir up trouble, and return with the most entertaining of tales?
In Jonathan's confused and cluttered mind, it was the only explanation that made a modicum of sense. The thought did nothing to improve his disposition. It had the opposite effect, in fact.
"Yes, I would very much like to continue the tale," he said, his jaw tightening. "Only this morning, Mrs. Notley—" He glanced pointedly at her, his eyes cold and hard. "Or is that not your true name?" For all he knew, she could be Miss Spencer, Lady Arabella, or an illegitimate daughter of Mr. Shepherd's who made a living as an actress. If so, she should never be cast as a housekeeper. She was deplorable at it.
"No, it is not my true name," she confirmed.
Jonathan felt his nostrils flare as a rush of anger filled him. If there was something he detested more than anything, it was being deceived and taken for a fool, and he was beginning to feel very taken.
"As I said before," she continued. "It is Miss Notley now. Miss Coralynn Eliza Notley, to be precise."
Jonathan's jaw clenched. Why must she be so aggravating at times? What game was she playing at, and why did he suddenly feel like a pawn? Did she keep him in suspense for her own amusement?
"And who is Miss Coralynn Eliza Notley?" he demanded.
"You need not answer that," said Mr. Shepherd in a calm, but firm way. "Mr. Ludlow has no right to demand anything of you any longer."
Miss Notley sighed and relaxed against the back of her chair, smoothing her hands over the fabric of the armrests. After a few moments, she said, "Perhaps he does not have the right, Mr. Shepherd, but after the many kindnesses he has shown me during the past few weeks, I believe he deserves an explanation."
"Very well," said Mr. Shepherd, settling back in his chair with his arms folded. He obviously had no intention of leaving the room. It was apparent he did not trust Mr. Ludlow to behave like a gentleman.
Mrs. Shepherd must have perceived the situation differently, for she laid a hand on her husband's arm. "I am certain Mr. Ludlow and Cora have much to discuss. Perhaps they would prefer to do so without an audience?"
Mr. Shepherd didn't seem overly keen on this idea, but he raised a questioning eyebrow at Miss Notley. When she gave a slight nod, he answered with a curt nod of his own, then rose to his feet and extended a hand to his wife.
"Please ring should you need anything, Cora," he said before he and Mrs. Shepherd took their leave. As soon as the door had closed behind them, Jonathan twisted towards Miss Notley, wondering what sort of explanation she would give him.
She glanced briefly his way before drawing in a long breath and exhaling slowly. When she was ready, she began spinning an intriguing and sad tale of a young tradesman's daughter who had been raised in a life of luxury by unfeeling parents, only to be bartered off to the first titled gentleman who came along. It did not matter that he was twice her age and the most disagreeable man she'd ever met. All that mattered was his title.
"If I had been a good daughter, I would have agreed to the marriage, but alas, I was too headstrong and obstinate to go along with such a plan," she continued. "My friend, Lady Harriett Cavendish, and her family are connected to the Shepherds. It was she and Lady Drayson who arranged for me to travel to Yorkshire and stay here at Knotting Tree. When I first arrived, the Shepherds wanted to take me in and introduce me into local society with the hope of finding me a good match. But it was my wish to seek employment so that I might have the freedom to choose the direction my life should take. You were good enough to offer me such an opportunity, at least for a short time."
A hint of a smile touched her lips. "And so here we are, with me once again at the mercy of others and you… well, I'm not certain why you have come, sir."
As he listened, Jonathan's frustration ebbed. He knew how it felt to leave a comfortable life and travel to an unknown place with the hope of beginning anew. But Jonathan had done so with the means and ability to take care of himself. How much more difficult would it have been to set out with nothing as Miss Notley had done?
"So," Jonathan finally spoke, "you have sought your independence by entering into service."
She laughed lightly. "You make me sound like a widgeon when you phrase it that way."
Jonathan would miss hearing that laugh. He'd miss her gentle voice, her lovely blue eyes, and the way she frowned and bit her lower lip whenever he'd called her to task. No other servant had ever been as candid and direct with him, and he realized how much he'd enjoyed it.
When Jonathan had first come to Askern, he'd immersed himself into society. There had been a time he had attended each and every social function and had hosted many of his own. But as time passed, and mothers and daughters began suffocating him with various matchmaking antics, he'd sought relief by withdrawing and focusing on his estate instead. At first it had been the distraction he'd needed, but Miss Notley's presence—or rather, her absence—had served to remind him exactly how lonely he'd allowed his life to become.
Perhaps it was time to change that.
"Might I ask what you have decided to do about Sally?" Miss Notley's question pulled Jonathan's wayward thoughts back to the present.
He cleared his throat and frowned at the unhappy reminder of this morning's events. He still did not care for the outcome, but it was done now. "She will stay for the time being, but only on a trial basis. One more incident and, child or no, she will no longer be welcome at Tanglewood."
The instant approval in Miss Notley's eyes, the lovely smile that touched her lips, and the warmth in which she gazed at him made Jonathan feel as though everything would turn out all right in the end. He had to wonder at the effect she had on his disposition. From the first time he'd laid eyes on her, she'd been able to make him feel things he hadn't in a long time—both good and bad. It was as though she'd stumbled upon the key to his locked emotions and had wasted no time in freeing them.
"Is that why you have come?" she asked. "To tell me about Sally?"
"No," he answered, conflicted. The reason he had come was no longer valid.
When he said nothing more, Miss Notley leaned forward in her seat. "Mr. Ludlow." She paused, her fingers twisting together the way they did every time she grew nervous about something. Any moment, she would draw her lower lip into her mouth and—ahh, just like that.
Jonathan held back a smile. "Yes?" he prompted.
She released her lip and raised her gaze to his. "I wonder if… well… if you will not grant me another chance at Tanglewood as well? If I promise to never again retain a servant that you have recently sacked?"
He tried his best not to grin. "How long is recently, exactly? Do you mean to wait a fortnight before retaining said servant?"
Her lips twitched. "Let me rephrase. I promise to never again retain a servant that you wish to remain sacked. Is that better?"
"It's clearer," he conceded, settling back in his chair as he wondered what to do from here. Only this morning he had left Tanglewood for the express purpose of returning his housekeeper to her rightful position, but now that he was aware of her situation, he felt hesitant to follow through with that plan. Why did she wish for such a thing, anyway? Did she truly believe that a servant's life was a freer life? A better life? Why was she so opposed to entering into society? And why did he suddenly wish that she would?
The truth of the matter was that he no longer wanted her to return to Tanglewood. He wanted her to do as Mr. and Mrs. Shepherd wished and take her place where she truly belonged. He wanted to be able to stand up with her at dances, play whist with her at soirées, accompany her into dinners, and pay court to her.
If she returned to housekeeping, an imaginary line would come between them—one that the rules of society dictated he could not cross, at least not in the way he now wished to cross. She would be his servant and he, her master, and never the twain shall meet for Jonathan was not one to take certain liberties with anyone on his staff.
"If I say no," Jonathan hedged, "what would become of Miss Notley?"
She straightened her shoulders and lifted her chin. "I would seek employment elsewhere, of course."
"You would not allow Mr. and Mrs. Shepherd to take you about in society?"
"Certainly not. I would never wish for such a thing."
"Why?"
"I do not belong in that world."
"Nonsense," he said. "We are not in London. This is Askern, where several respectable families are involved in some sort of trade. You would fit in quite nicely."
Miss Notley frowned at her hands. After a moment or two, she said, "What I meant to say was I have no desire to belong in that world."
In other words, she had no desire to belong in Jonathan's world. The thought injured him. "Why is that?"
"Because, sir, it is a world in which men hold all the power and women hold none. The life a servant may be rigorous and demanding, but there is a great deal of satisfaction in earning a fair wage and knowing that what I have earned is mine and mine alone. I need not answer to anyone or require permission to do as I please, go where I may, and marry whom I choose. My life, sir, is my own, and that is how I prefer it."
Jonathan looked deep into her eyes—eyes that shone vibrantly with stubborn pride and determination. There would be no changing her mind.
"And who will you one day choose to marry?" he asked, not sure he would like her answer. "A footman, perhaps? A butler? A stablehand? Possibly a farmer? Do you not see that housekeepers are limited in their choices? Would you be happy married to someone who was raised so differently than you?"
"I do not care for wealth or position," she defended. "I believe I would be better off married to a footman I respected than a detestable philanderer who's only interest is my father's money."
"Not every gentleman is like that, you know."
She let out a breath and offered him a pained smile that seemed to say, Let us agree to disagree and be done with this conversation.
"I do know," she said. "Lord Drayson, Mr. Shepherd, and now you have taught me that there are many good men in society. But I am still determined to make my own way. If you no longer wish to retain me as your housekeeper, I will understand and began my search for employment elsewhere. But Tanglewood holds a special place in my heart, and I would very much like to return."
Jonathan steepled his fingers under his chin. That was not the answer he wanted to hear, and yet he was not surprised. He was coming to learn that once Miss Notley's mind was set, she would not be swayed. It was both a strength and a weakness—one he didn't care for at the moment because it left him with only two options. He could allow her to return as his housekeeper or he must let her go with the knowledge he'd likely never see her again.
Actually, there was only one option.
"If that is how you truly feel—"
"It is, sir," she insisted.
"Then… consider yourself welcomed to Tanglewood once again, Mrs. Notley."
The smile that beamed from her lips caused Jonathan's heart to pound in an erratic fashion. He felt his world tilt and wobble precariously, and he wondered how he would navigate this new, unchartered situation. She had found her way into his heart and mind, and he knew that something had changed. There would be no returning to the way things were before today.