Jack
TWO WEEKS LATER, we were on our way to Flagstaff, and then we’d move on to a few smaller venues until we hit our biggest gig at Red Rocks for Cramfest 2017, where we’d be sharing the bill, not only Roses for Anna, but The Clergy, Atom Smashers, and several other bands from back in the day. We were at the tail end of the tour and I noticed Hadley starting to withdraw. I didn’t like it and planned to talk to her about it once we were at the hotel.
Pulling into a roadside diner, everyone piled inside and Lucy and Hadley sorted out seating, and that’s when I noticed Ray hovering around… again. He pulled Hadley to a table and held a chair for her. I knew she wouldn’t feel comfortable saying no to him.
I was so fuckin’ over him and his need to harass my woman, I started toward him, rage building.
But I was stopped.
By a petite redhead who stepped in my path.
“Uncle Jack, can I talk to you for a minute?” Lucy was suddenly standing directly in front of me.
“Uh, sure. I’m just going to go clean up really quickly.”
“No, you’re not,” she countered.
“What?” I asked.
“Let’s take a walk,” she said, and quickly ushered me out the front door.
“What’s going on? Why are we in the parking lot, Lucy?”
“Because, I figured you wouldn’t want anyone to hear what I’m about to say, and I’m positive whatever it was you were planning on doing after marching up to your girlfriend’s table wasn’t going to end well for anyone.”
“Girlfriend? Wait a minute, I’m not sure what you think—”
“I don’t think anything. I know something is going on between you and Hadley. I just don’t know how much has happened yet. I’ve been watching you two for days now, and I’m not an idiot. Before you say anything more, just know that I haven’t said anything to Hadley. I didn’t want to ask her and have her lie to me. Even though she’s the most honest person I’ve ever met, I know she’d lie, because if she is with you, she’d be loyal to you. I didn’t want her to have to lie for you, so I’m asking you directly. Are you and Hadley sleeping together?”
“Lucy.”
“Yes or no, Jack?”
“Yes.”
Lucy pursed her lips and turned around sharply in place. She took a few deep breaths and after a few moments, slowly turned around to face me again.
“Lucy, I know this is not an ideal situation, but I promise you this isn’t just a hookup for me—”
“Not ideal? More like, what the hell are the two of you thinking? Not to mention, it’s one of my closest friends and my uncle. Ew!”
“Thanks a lot.”
“You know what I mean, and don’t change the subject,” she snapped. “I’ve worked too hard to put this tour together and so has Hadley. And quite frankly, I’m disappointed that the both of you would put it at risk with your… your… tom foolery.”
“Luce—”
“I’m not done.”
It was adorable being dressed down by Lucy who I still imagined as a ten-year-old in pigtails, but I couldn’t help but respect her, and as much as I didn’t want to admit it, I knew she was right.
“I will agree with you that this isn’t a hookup, because this thing between the two of you, whatever it is, is over.”
“Wait a minute—”
She jabbed a finger toward me. “Over, Jack! She’s the manager of your support act and one of my husband’s most trusted friends. What exactly do you think is going to happen when they all find out?”
“Don’t say anything to anyone. I’ll talk to Hadley and we’ll figure this out.”
“I mean it, Jack, end this now or I will, for all our sakes.”
“I understand.”
She headed for the entrance and added, “And stay away from Ray! He’s a great drum tech and I’m sure you don’t want Hadley to have to hire a replacement.”
I wasn’t worried about his replacement; I was only worried about where I was going to hide his corpse.
* * *
Hadley
I watched distractedly out the window while Lucy gave Jack a talking to, and the reason I was distracted was because Ray would not stop talking. I’d politely laughed at his lame jokes and successfully fought back the urge to kick him under the table when he put his hand on mine.
“So, then—”
“Will you excuse me for a second?” I asked, not waiting for a reply as I slid out of the booth and walked toward Lucy.
She grabbed my hand and dragged me back outside and around the corner of the building.
“What’s up?” I asked.
“Okay, I don’t want to sound judgey—”
“Ohmigod, what?”
“You and Jack have to stop whatever it is you’re doing.”
Well, crap. “We are.”
“That’s not what he just led me to believe.”
“Okay, wait. Lucy, I love you, you know I do, but this isn’t really any of your business.”
“It is if your actions drive him back into the hole that he, not to mention my family, has dug him out of.”
“Wow. It’s nice to know you think so little of me.”
“Oh, Hadley, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that.”
I blinked back tears. “If you think that I would do anything to jeopardize his sobriety… or anyone’s for that matter, then you don’t know me at all.”
“I’m sorry. I’m just worried about him. He was lost after Pam, and if he gets hurt—”
“You’re right. I shouldn’t have been so careless.” I took a big breath. “I’ll see you back in there.” I walked toward the front door, but headed back to the bus instead. I had a key, so I let myself in and then closed myself into the tiny bathroom, where I proceeded to sit on the lid and sob until I thought I might throw up again.
I jumped when someone banged on the door and silently screamed to myself. Could a woman not get a little privacy to deal with her broken heart?
“I’ll be right out,” I called as cheerily as I could.
I sat there for another few minutes, hoping the person knocking would give up and go away.
“Goddammit, Hadley, open the door,” Jack snapped.
“No.”
“I’ll break it down if you don’t.”
“Don’t be so melodramatic,” I ground out. “I want some privacy, please.”
“I’m not leavin’ until you come out of there, Hadley,” he warned.
“Bossy, growly, pain in the ass,” I grumbled, pulling open the door.
“Why the fuck are you crying?” he snapped. “What did Lucy say?”
“Absolutely nothing she didn’t say to you.”
“Fuck me, it’s none of her business. I have a mind to take that girl over my knee.”
“Well, that would be highly inappropriate and bordering on sexual harassment.” I pushed past him and headed for the door.
He grabbed my arm and turned me to face him. “Stop. We’re gonna talk this out.”
“There’s nothing to talk about.”
“Bullshit.”
“Bottom line… we can’t keep doing this. It needs to be over now. I’ve had a wonderful time with you and I hope that you have as well. I can’t wait to see you play tomorrow night.”
“Are you fucking kidding me?” he growled.
“What? I am looking forward to seeing you play.” I slapped away the tears that wouldn’t stop falling down my face.
“Fuck!” he snapped and dragged me away from the windows and back to the bunk room. “Come here,” he said gently and pulled me against his chest.
I tried to pull away, but he held firm. “You can’t do this, Jack.”
“Baby, you’re upset, I’m not leavin’ you feelin’ like shit… especially when there’s no reason for it.”
“I do not want to be the reason you start drinking again.”
“Holy fucking Christ, is that what Lucy said?” he bellowed.
“Hadley?” Bam called.
“Damn it!” Jack snapped.
I put distance between us and tried to push him out the door. “Just go, Jack. This is over. It’s better that it ends now.”
“What the hell is going on?” Bam demanded.
“Nothing,” I said. “It’s all good. I’m PMSing and had a little bit of an emotional moment. But it’s over now. You boys can go back to the restaurant. I’ll be right there.”
Jack scowled. “Had—”
“Jack. Go.”
He let out several choice curse words then stormed off the bus. Bam did not, however.
“You gonna talk to me?” he asked, crossing his arms.
“About my PMS? That’s kind of personal and not really something you need details about, is it?”
“Hadley, spill.”
“Fine! Every twenty-eight days or so, the mature, unfertilized egg leaves the ovary and makes its way to the uterus via the fallopian—”
“Hadley,” he snapped.
“I don’t want to have this conversation with you.”
“I get that, but it doesn’t mean it’s not gonna happen.”
I bit my lip, but stayed silent.
Bam sighed. “Lucy told me what she said.”
I blinked back tears. “She didn’t mean it.”
“That’s really gracious, Hadley… not sure it’s what I’d be thinkin’ right now.”
“Since Lucy’s your wife, and you know her better than anyone, you obviously know she doesn’t have a mean bone in her body, so I’m pretty sure you would be thinking that right now.”
“Back to the subject at hand,” he directed.
“No. I’m good. Just go ahead and go back inside, I’ll be there in a minute.”
Bam pulled me into a bear hug and even though I squirmed, he held tight. “We’re gonna talk this out, Hadley. Whether you like it or not.”
“We don’t have time. Everyone’s going to be back here in—”
“They won’t be coming back on this bus until you and I have solved this crisis, so you might want to talk fast.”
So, I did. I blurted everything out. Because I was sad and Bam always made everything better.
He stroked my back. “So, this is why Lucy’s been antsy for the past couple of days.”
“Probably,” I said, dropping my face against his shoulder. “I really screwed things up, Bam.”
“How so?”
“Oh, I don’t know,” I deadpanned. “Falling for the drummer of the headliner on a tour that could make or break Roses for Anna.”
“Jesus, did you bomb Pearl Harbor as well?”
“I’m serious.”
“Jack’s probably got as much culpability in this as well, Hadley, don’t take this all on yourself.”
“God, that makes it sound so sordid.”
“Sorry, buddy,” he said, giving me a gentle squeeze. “I didn’t mean it like that.”
I burst into tears and buried my face in his chest. “I fell in love with him, Bam, and screwed everything up. I’m so stupid.”
“You’re not stupid.”
“I should have waited to do that ’til the end of the tour, then I could just disappear,” I cried. “Now I have almost two weeks of seeing him every day and wishing…” I shook my head. “I think I’ll keep that part private.”
“’Preciate it, bud.”
I smiled slightly and let him hold me for a few minutes. “I’m good, Bam.”
“I’m not,” he said.
I giggled and wrapped my arms around his waist. “You need a sisterly hug?”
“Yeah, that’d be good.”
Before we could pull away, the doors to the bus opened again. “Now, what?” I whispered.
“Bam, you need to see to your wife,” Jack said.
I leaned around Bam and tried to ignore the irritation on Jack’s face.
“You comin’?” Bam asked.
“No. She and I are gonna talk,” Jack said.
Bam craned his neck and said, “Hadley’s gonna do whatever the fuck she wants to do, and you’re gonna respect that.”
Jack fisted his hands at his side and took several deep breaths. “Hadley, can we please talk?”
Bam looked back at me and I nodded. “Five minutes.”
Bam kissed my temple, then walked off the bus, but I knew he wouldn’t go far.
“Sandwich.” Jack handed me a paper bag. “You puked up your breakfast so I figured you’d be hungry.”
God, he was so sweet. I had been sick that morning, but I didn’t think he’d noticed. I forced back tears again, cursing my girly emotions. “Thanks, Jack.”
“I talked to Lucy.”
“Why?” I asked, avoiding eye-contact.
“Because what she said was both wrong and unacceptable.”
“She didn’t mean it, Jack. You know her.”
“I don’t care. My sobriety is my fuckin’ business and it’s my responsibility. You don’t have any power in whether or not I choose to fall off the wagon. It was unfair of her to put that on you.”
“I still think it’s unwise of us to continue this. I think we’ve dodged a bullet and it would be a good idea to separate before it hurts.”
“You don’t think this hurts?”
“I think it hurts a lot less than if we were in love.”
“Fine,” he snapped. “You’re probably right. I’ll see you around.”
He walked off the bus and I slipped back into the bathroom and sobbed for another few minutes, before I gave myself an internal talking to, stuffed my feelings then proceeded to eat them in the form of the sandwich the most wonderful man on the planet bought for me.
I died a little inside, but refused to dwell on that as the rest of the band filed onto the bus.
* * *
Jack
For the next twelve days, I proceeded to rage inside as Hadley took on the persona of Mary Fuckin’ Sunshine. She had a smile for everyone but me, and I had a curt response to every question anyone asked. For the most part, folks kept their distance, but I know Rex and Roxie were watching me closely. I couldn’t care less. I threw myself into my work and played better than I had before, making it easier for people to leave me alone, since no one could fault my drumming.
We had just arrived in Colorado, having already hit Southern California, Vegas, and Arizona, and we had another rare day off. This is when I got a good look at Hadley and nearly lost my mind. Fuck, she’d lost weight and I could tell she wasn’t sleeping. A burning pain hit my chest like a hot poker and I realized what I’d been tryin’ to shove to the side.
I was in love with her.
Completely. And because I was in love with her, the pain she was obviously experiencing cut me to the core.
I tried to get her alone, but every time I walked toward her, she’d find a reason to walk the opposite way, and by the time everyone had planned to meet at the pool, I was about to drag her back to my room and force her to eat, then sleep, then fuckin’ marry me.
Since all of that was frowned upon in this century, I went looking for the only person who could help. The only other one probably watching her as closely as me.
“Bam!” I called, seeing him and Lucy heading for the side doors.
He faced me and threw a towel over his shoulder. “Hey, Jack.”
“Got a minute?”
He nodded, kissed Lucy quickly, and then closed the distance between us. “What’s up?”
“Is Hadley okay?”
“Not really, but that’s to be expected.”
“She’s losing weight. I think she’s sick.”
He sighed. “Yeah, man, I noticed. Lucy and I forced her to go to the urgent care a few blocks from here. She actually took one of the cars about twenty minutes ago.”
We had two cars with us in case we needed to go somewhere fast and didn’t want to have to haul a bus some place.
“You let her go alone?” I snapped.
“Dude, there was no lettin’ her do anything. She said she wouldn’t go if we went with her, and since Sully’s on vacation, I had Ray follow her.”
I took a few deep breaths to control the rage that flooded me.
“She got there safely, Jack. It’s all good. She’ll tell me what’s wrong when she gets back.”
“Will you let me know how she is?”
“Only if she wants me to.”
“Listen here, you—”
He raised a hand with a grin. “Jack, I’m sorry. I know how you feel about each other, but she’s my best friend. I’m not gonna betray her trust. But I will let you know when she gets back here safely, okay?”
I dragged my hands down my face. I couldn’t expect more from him than that, so I nodded, and then headed back to my room. Fuck me, I wanted a drink.
* * *
Hadley
The doctor was convinced everything that ailed me was altitude sickness, so I was given some oxygen and told to stop at the cantina before I headed out to eat. He took a few other tests as well, but said he’d call me with those results as soon as he had them.
The oxygen actually made me feel a lot better than I had since entering Colorado yesterday, so I was glad the doctor had been able to solve the issue so quickly. Ultimately, the only way to fully recover from altitude sickness, was to get to lower ground, but I didn’t have that luxury, so the oxygen would have to solve it until we left the day after tomorrow.
I decided to forgo the cantina, dying for a bath and a nap, so I climbed in the car and pulled up my GPS, heading back to the hotel. We had less than two weeks left on the tour and I just had to get through it without another breakdown, so I could go home and lick my wounds.
Seeing Jack everywhere was killing me, but I was determined to make sure no one knew that. I cried myself to sleep every night, but during the day, I was happy.
I had to be.
For two more weeks.