Kade sat staring out at the Boston skyline, watching the snow fall. He hadn’t seen this much snow since he’d left Russia. He missed it, really. Memories of his childhood swirled in the floating mess outside the massive wall of windows. He and his brothers had spent hours building snow forts for their epic snowball wars. The twins were evil minions when engaged in snowball warfare, so he’d taken it upon himself to protect the little ones.
He missed his family. The thought strummed like a broken string in his heart. Maybe after this case, he’d go to Russia and visit his parents and grandparents. He hadn’t seen them in a long time. Maybe being around Nikoli so much these last few weeks had brought up the need to surround himself with his family. Or maybe it was seeing Angel. Either way, he needed to get off his ass and visit them.
A noise sounded from upstairs, and he shot a wary look that way. Angel had kicked him out, and he’d sat here staring at the snow since then. He still couldn’t figure out what had possessed him to pin her to a bed and kiss her. It had to be all of Nikoli’s kinky stupid shit in that damn closet. He wasn’t into that sort of thing, but he doubted any man could see it and not have a fantasy or two. Add in the gorgeous woman laughing at him, and maybe it had been inevitable.
He’d never been able to leave her alone. Peter had warned him off his sister, but Kade couldn’t stay away. He’d told himself to leave her alone, it would only complicate the situation, but like an ass, he’d completely ignored his own advice.
Their first date was embedded in his memory.
He showed up dressed in jeans and a button down shirt, but he hadn’t expected the fist coming at him as soon as the door opened. It was so fast, he didn’t have time to duck, and it landed squarely on his jaw. He hadn’t stumbled back, but absorbed the blow.
“You fucker.”
Kade rubbed his jaw, but didn’t step back. “Peter.”
“I told you to stay away from her.”
He was nervous enough without Peter trying to go all big brother on him. “I like your sister. I just want to spend some time with her, get to know her. Do I look stupid enough to do anything to risk our friendship? I got nothing but respect for her, Peter.”
“Kade?”
The soft, musical voice that had been haunting his dreams for over two months floated to him from behind the brick wall that was Peter. He could barely see the top of her head. She wasn’t overly short, but next to him and Peter, she looked like a petite fairy.
Peter shot him another warning glare, but moved out of the way. His breath caught in his chest and he stood, unable to do anything but stare. She had her hair up in some kind of loose knot, but several tendrils escaped to tease her neck. Her simple black dress highlighted her curves without revealing too much skin. It was made to inspire a man’s imagination.
Peter let out something like a growl, and Angel laughed at her brother. “I’ll see you later. And no texting me!”
Peter looked ready to throw her over his shoulder and ban her from leaving the house. Kade wouldn’t put it past him either. She looked up at him and must have seen some sort of alarm on his face, because she hurried toward him.
A burst of air left him once they’d closed the door on Peter’s judgmental hostility. “Your brother wants to beat my ass.”
She giggled. “He might do it too.”
Peter and he were about the same size, and they were both brawlers. Kade and his brothers had toughened each other up by beating each other’s asses growing up, but he dreaded fighting Peter. It would be like fighting his brother, Viktor. Neither of them could take the other. He had a feeling Peter would be on par with Viktor.
“He might, but it would be worth it.” He gave her what he hoped was his most charming smile while he spewed what had to be the cheesiest line to come out of his mouth. Kade was usually smoother than this, but she made him nervous, and he floundered the simplest of things when she was around.
She arched a brow, laughter dancing in her eyes. She recognized how lame the line was, but to her credit, she didn’t remark on it. “So, where to?”
“I made reservations at Keellies, and then I thought we might take a walk on the beach. It’s not crowded at night.”
“That sounds nice.”
Kade shook his head to clear it of the memory. She’d been so young. Hell, he’d only been a year older than she was. Two kids not really understanding the intense and all-consuming attraction that sprang up between them.
“Hey.”
His head snapped up to see her standing at the bottom of the stairs, looking a little lost. Her green eyes were wide and luminous, the worry in them bright. She’d pulled all that unruly hair of hers back into a loose ponytail, and her pajamas clung to her in a way clothes only do after a shower. He wet his lips and tamped down his feelings. She needed Agent Kincaid, not Kade the bastard who’d left her.
“Feeling better?”
She nodded but didn’t move farther into the room.
“Can I get you some coffee? I made a fresh pot.”
Again, she nodded but didn’t move a muscle.
“Well, grab a seat at the island. I’ll make it for you.”
He got up and made his way into the kitchen. She’d come in when she was ready. Angel refused to be rushed. He found an empty mug and poured it halfway full of coffee, then he took out the last of the milk from the refrigerator and filled it up. He’d been shocked to find milk when there wasn’t so much as a full salt shaker in the cupboards. He guessed Nik and Lily were keeping it to a bare minimum.
She sat and accepted the mug from him. “You remember how I take my coffee?”
How could she be surprised? He remembered everything about her. She was his best and worst mistake. He’d loved her.
“You’re the only person I know who drinks milk with just a taste of coffee.” A short laugh escaped. “Remember the morning I brought you coffee with creamer in it? You turned up that pert little nose of yours and demanded I go out and buy real milk.”
“Creamer is nasty.” She wrinkled her nose in disgust and took a sip. “Is there anything to eat?”
“No. Lily cleaned the place out. They’re getting it ready to put up for sale.”
“That’s right. They’re leaving Boston after graduation. New York, I think.”
She really did know his brother. He wasn’t used to his brother having friends who were female.
“I can order either Chinese or pizza. I know a few places open all night. Tomorrow we can get some real groceries.”
“Pizza. Explain this whole police protection thing. I have to work tomorrow night, and I have finals next week.”
He pulled out his phone and found the number for the pizza place. “Typically, you get two police officers who will go wherever you go.”
“So, no one’s trying to keep me locked up in the Ivory Tower?”
“No, Angel, no one’s holding you prisoner. I would prefer you stay away from the bar until we catch the guy, though. It’s a risk every time you go outside this place.”
“I have to work, Kincaid. I have bills to pay.”
He put up a finger while he placed the order for pizza. He laid the phone down on the counter before answering her. “That’s what I thought you’d say. When I can’t be here, you’ll have two plainclothes on you at all times.”
“You don’t have to be here at all. In fact, I’d prefer it if you weren’t.”
He worked to rein in his temper. She had been through a very horrifying experience and needed patience, not a full-blown fight with him. “We’ve already had this conversation. You’re not getting rid of me. Deal with it.”
Angel narrowed her eyes and fought the urge to do him bodily harm. Kade had always been bossy, but now that he was older and used to having more authority, he’d gotten worse.
“About earlier…” He cleared his throat, looking anywhere but at her. “I’m sorry. I had no right to do that.”
“No, you didn’t.” Her voice came out small and quiet. He didn’t need to know every nerve in her body sang when his skin had met hers.
“It was that damn closet.”
Another smile slipped out despite her best efforts. It was so rare to see him this out of sorts. And over sex.
“Just don’t do it again, okay? Neither of us wants to be here, so if we can keep it professional, I’d appreciate it.”
“I can do that.” He ran a hand through his hair. “You said you had finals next week?”
“Yeah?”
“What did you end up studying?”
She took another sip of coffee, debating whether getting into an actual conversation with him was wise. Rage still curled in the pit of her stomach, but another part of her struggled to break free of its prison. She craved his attention. It couldn’t hurt to have a civil conversation with him, could it?
“I studied business management. I graduate this May.”
“Business?” He fiddled with his coffee mug.
“I want to own my own bar.”
“Not a strip club?”
Her eyes narrowed at his tone. He’d never made any secret that he hated her stripping. He didn’t respect anyone who did. It was the biggest bone of contention between them.
“You know, Kincaid, I was thinking of a bar with strippers.”
“You’re better than that, Angel.”
“There’s nothing wrong with stripping. It pays better than any other job I’ve ever had, including bartending. What is your problem with it?”
“I have a problem because I hate that you let total strangers play grab ass with you for money?”
Angel closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Conversation was a bad idea. “I was a stripper, Kade, and I’m proud to say that. It fed me, it clothed me, it paid for my brother’s funeral, and it gave me the money to get the hell out of Miami. Don’t try to make me feel bad about it, because you can’t.”
“It paid for Peter’s funeral? Didn’t he have life insurance?”
She shook her head. “No, I doubt it was something he even thought about at his age.”
“Did you sell the house? Surely that paid for…”
She shook her head again. “No. The state seized everything he owned. I had nothing but the money in my personal bank account.”
His face went white, and a small corner of her mind cheered. “Why didn’t you tell me? You could have called…”
“You walked out that night and didn’t look back. I got the distinct impression you never wanted to see me again. Why would I have gone looking for you even if I knew where to find you?”
“Because I cared, Angel, about you and Peter both, even if you don’t believe me.”
“You cared?” The bitterness boiled over and erupted in hysterical laughter. “You cared? You arrested your best friend, and then you left your wife alone and crying after the worst moment of her life. You cared? Don’t you dare tell me you cared.”
Faster than she could blink, he’d moved around the counter and hauled her up, only to wrap his arms around her. She fought hard to get away, her fists landing with brutal efficiency on his chest, his arms. She wanted to hit him, to beat him, to make him feel the way she’d felt every day since he’d walked away from her.
“Shh, moye serdtse.” His whispered words barely penetrated the enraged fog of her grief. “I am so sorry.”
“Don’t you think it’s a little late for that?” Sorry couldn’t erase the hurt, it couldn’t bring her brother back, it couldn’t do anything. Sorry was a worthless fucking word.
“Yes, Angel. It is too late, but I’m saying it anyway. I’m sorry. For everything.”
He held on and let her hit him, let her cry, let her rage. Once the tears started, they wouldn’t stop. She’d told him not to call her his heart, and he fucking did it anyway, damn him. Didn’t he realize how much it hurt her when he said that, knowing he didn’t mean it? The fight left her when her pain finally pushed through. Feeling his arms around her brought it to the front and she couldn’t push it down. It washed over her like a storm.
“That’s it, baby, just let it all go.” His hand swirled in soothing circles on her back. He held her for the longest time, and then moved her to the living room, easing her down on the couch. She watched him as he went to the kitchen and wet a paper towel he then used to clean up her face.
His phone blared at him and he picked it up. “Kincaid…yes, thank you. I’ll be right down.” He ended the call and shoved the phone in his pocket. “Pizza’s here. I’m going to go get it. Will you be okay?”
She nodded, a hiccup escaping. He gave her a cautious smile and let himself out of the apartment. She curled up on the couch, her knees tucked under her chin. Exhausted. Embarrassed. Her mom once told her sometimes the only person who could fix a terrible hurt was the one who caused it. She did feel better after he let her whale on him, and the crying had cleared some of the fog of rage surrounding her.
Not that she wasn’t still angry with him. A good cry wouldn’t fix that. But at least she could breathe without wanting to scream. That had its own drawback, though. Some of the fear she’d been repressing all night slithered its way into her subconscious.
She’d faced down a serial killer.
And lived.
What the hell had she gotten herself into now?
Angel rubbed her eyes, trying to dispel some of the weariness. Sitting here feeling sorry for herself was accomplishing nothing. She got up and wandered into the kitchen, snagging her mug so she could rinse it out then load it into the dishwasher.
Nikoli had a very swanky place. She’d never thought the boy could afford something like this. All she really knew about him was that he was Kade’s little brother who sometimes wandered drunk into her bar when he needed to talk. Sure, he tipped her well, but she put that down to him having a decent job or maybe his folks sending him money while he was in school. She never would have thought he owned his own business.
Small, painful tingles raced up her back as she leaned down and opened the dishwasher. She was starting to feel the effects of a long night on her feet. If she didn’t get some sleep soon, working an eight hour shift at the bar tomorrow was going to be hell. One thing bartenders and servers alike learned early on was to take care of your feet and your back.
Angel heard the key in the lock and looked up to see Kade come in, three large pizza boxes balanced precariously in one hand. Alarm spread across his face when he saw she wasn’t on the couch where he’d left her.
“Angel?” He kicked off his shoes and glanced toward the stairs first.
She turned toward the cupboards and started looking for plates. She wasn’t ready to talk quite yet. Exactly four plates sat alone in the cupboard. Kade hadn’t been joking when he said they’d cleaned the place out. Taking out two of the heavy white plates, she turned back to Kade, who had found his way to the kitchen.
“Are you okay?” His concern was etched in his face.
She nodded and put the plates on the island. How many more times was he going to ask her if she was okay tonight, and how many more times would she lie and say she was?
He held up a two liter of Mountain Dew. “They didn’t have any Coke, so I got the next sugariest thing. Are there any glasses?”
Kade watched her as she hunted through the cupboards. Her silence worried him. Shock was a concern. He hoped getting some food in her would help. He opened the top box and loaded both their plates with pizza. Spicy Italian sausage and pepperoni. Her favorite.
She came back and sat down, glasses in tow. She picked up a slice of pizza and took a bite, her movements stiff and wooden. Her pale skin was blotchy and red from crying, and her eyes were wide and shell-shocked. The depth of pain in them hit him at his core. He’d put that pain there.
“I was thinking, Angel. I know this is a tough situation, but I thought maybe we could call a truce and be civil with each other? I’m not asking you to forgive me. I’m just asking for us to try not to fight about everything. My job is to keep you safe, and that’s easier if we’re not screaming at each other every five minutes.”
“You’re not going to leave, no matter how many times I ask, are you?”
“No, I’m not. Your safety comes first. Be as mad at me as you want, but I won’t leave.”
“I guess I can try to be civil. I won’t promise, Kade, but I will try.”
He let out the breath he’d been holding. He’d expected a fight from her, but was glad she’d agreed. It might only be because she was tired, but he’d take it.
Maybe after a good night’s sleep, they could start over in the morning.
Maybe.