Kade slipped off the bed after he was sure she’d fallen asleep. Exhaustion had finally claimed her after she’d cried enough to fill a river. He’d never seen Angel cry like that. It did something to him, and he didn’t like how he felt. He knew her tears were because of him, and he hated it.
Maybe he should tell her the truth. Would she even believe him after all these years? As much anger as she had bottled up, he doubted hearing the truth would make any difference. There was no point in waking up sleeping dogs that might only hurt her worse.
He opened the closet and sidestepped Nikoli’s freaky shit and found a blanket on the top shelf. He covered her up then left the room, closing the door behind him. Sleep was the best medicine for her right now.
He found a note from Nikoli downstairs. He and Lily probably left when they figured out he wasn’t coming back downstairs. It simply said:
Food in the fridge, call me.
His stomach growled, reminding him he hadn’t eaten all day. The clock on the microwave told him it was 11:19. Wow. He’d been upstairs with Angel since a little after four.
A raid of the fridge yielded a pan of lasagna and a plate of garlic bread. He cut himself a very large chunk and took a couple pieces of the bread which he consumed while he waited on the microwave to nuke his late supper. It smelled divine. Had to be Lily’s. The boy couldn’t boil water. He’d seen Nikoli burn a pan once trying to do just that. He’d forgotten he’d put water on and scorched the pan when it boiled dry.
Once he had his food in hand, he grabbed a beer out of the fridge and settled himself on the living room couch. Nikoli’s white cushions be damned. He was tired, cranky, and would pay for the cleaning if he spilled anything.
He fished out his phone and opened the FaceTime app. He needed to talk to his brother. Dimitri shouldn’t be asleep. It wasn’t that late in L.A. Kade had come to a decision holding Angel while she slept, and he needed advice. Dimitri was the one person who might be able to help him.
“What’s up, bro?”
Kade shook his head at his brother, who had his arm wrapped around a very pretty brunette. “You busy?”
“Nah. Babe, go find us some drinks. I’ll be back in a few.”
The image shook as Dimitri walked into what looked like his bedroom. The soft sounds of the radio played in the background. Booty call music, his babushka called it. Where an eighty-year-old woman heard that phrase, he did not want to know. It always cracked them up when she said it, though.
His brother’s face popped back up on the screen. Dimitri was the only Kincaid brother to look more like their mother than their father. He even had her white blond hair and sky blue eyes. The odd man out in photos. He used to tease Dimitri mercilessly about that. Until he got old enough to beat Kade’s ass.
“You look like shit, motherfucker.”
“Good to see you too, D.” Kade rubbed his chin. It was a fair assessment. He probably did look like shit.
“What’s going on?” Dimitri sat, giving Kade a view of the headboard. “You don’t look good. Is it the case you’re working on?”
“I fucked up. Big time.” He ran a hand through his hair. “You remember that undercover case I worked in Miami?”
“Yeah.” Dimitri nodded, his eyes crinkling with concern. “You were fucked up when you got home. I’ve never seen you like that, brat, before or since. You refused to talk about it, even when I threated to beat it out of you.”
“I made a bad decision, and it fucked everything up.” He leaned back against the couch, not caring that the plate of lasagna was sliding off his knee onto Nik’s pearly white fabric. “I don’t know what to do.”
“First, slow down and calm down. What happened?”
“I met a girl while I was there.”
“A girl?” Dimitri looked away from the phone. “No, I’m busy. I’ll be down when I’m done.”
“Real smooth, there. If Mama heard you talk to a girl like that…”
“She never will.” Dimitri grinned, reminding him so much of Nikoli. “Besides, she’s lucky I didn’t tell her to get the fuck out. She’s being clingy. I can’t stand a clingy woman.”
“You’re starting to sound like me and Nik. I thought we were the only two assholes in the family when it came to women.”
“I guess I’m just bored with women who see a pretty face and fat wallet and think ‘goldmine.’”
“They’re not all like that, you know.” Angel certainly wasn’t. Neither was Lily.
“I know. I just haven’t met one yet who looks past the face and expensive car and sees me.”
“Well, maybe if you didn’t flaunt said expensive car?”
“Fuck that. I’ve worked too hard to get where I am.”
Dimitri was an author. A romance author, much to his brothers’ astonishment and mock contempt. They loved to tease him about it, but even they couldn’t dispute the fact he did well. Kade never realized how much an author had to actually work. He’d assumed it was all sitting on your ass at the computer, typing. What really went into a writing career blew his mind when Dimitri had walked him through what he did on a daily basis.
“No lecturing tonight. Tell me what’s going on with you. What about this girl you met? You run into her or something, and she recognized you? You’re not in any danger, are you? I mean, that cartel still has a hard on for you.’
“How do you know that?”
“I’m omniscient.” He preened until he realized it hadn’t impressed Kade. “I asked Viktor to keep an ear to the ground. Your name still gets mentioned in certain circles. So if this girl made you…”
“No, it’s not that.” Good to know he was still being hunted by Miami’s biggest drug cartel. His handler assured him there weren’t any feelers out. Kade checked in from time to time to be certain.
“Then what is it?” Dimitri regarded him curiously. “You’re starting to worry me.”
“I married her.”
“The fuck you say!” Disbelief warred with shock as Dimitri struggled to digest Kade’s little bombshell.
“She’s the sister of the guy I was told to get close to.”
“Sounds like you got a little too close, brat.”
“Yeah, you could say that.” Kade laughed, but the sound was hollow, empty. “I could never stay away from that girl.”
“Did you love her?”
“I still do.” That was the problem, wasn’t it? Being away from her, refusing to think about her, dulled the ache to a bearable level. Being this close to her? There was no dulling it. It was an open, bleeding wound. One that couldn’t be patched up. It just bled.
“So what’s the problem? She married now or something?”
“No.” Kade took a deep breath. “We’re still married.”
“Back up, Romeo. You’re still married? You need to start from the beginning.”
Kade sighed, but he did as Dimitri asked. He told him everything about Miami, the baby, the miscarriage, and then brought him up to date on the current events.
“You’re fucked, motherfucker.”
That, right there. In a nutshell.
“I don’t know what to do. She hates me.”
“I’d fucking hate you too if I were her. You screwed up, man. I don’t know if you can fix this.”
“You’re the romance expert. I called you for advice, not for you to tell me what I already know.”
“Well, she fell for you once, didn’t she?”
“Yeah.”
“Then make her fall for you again.” Dimitri yawned. “Charm her. I’ve seen you at work. You’re as deadly as Nik when it comes to women. Make her remember why she loved you in the first place.”
“How the fuck am I supposed to do that when she won’t even have a civil conversation with me?”
“You two are holed up together until you catch this psycho, yes?” When Kade nodded, Dimitri continued. “Use that. Do what you need to. Talk to her, even when she refuses to talk to you. Fill the silence. It’s Christmas, for God’s sake. Do some holiday stuff. Women love all that Christmas shit. My point is, stop sulking like a girl feeling sorry for yourself.”
Leave it to Dimitri to be blunt.
“Look, I gotta go. Charlene is probably ready to kill me. Do you want me to fly out there? For support and backup? Romance writers are the perfect wingmen in this kind of situation.”
Kade started to say no, but changed his mind. Christmas was just around the corner, and with Nik here, it’d be nice to have another brother around. “If you think you can get away, I’d appreciate you coming. You can’t stay here, though.”
Dimitri laughed. “Fuck, no. You need all the alone time you can get with your wife.” He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, and Kade laughed.
“Fucker, get lost. I’ll see you when you get here. And, Dimitri, keep this to yourself. No telling the rest of the family. If this all goes to hell, well…”
“I got your back. Don’t worry. See you tomorrow, and good luck. You need it.”
Kade turned off the app and stared up at the ceiling. There was so much he needed to apologize for. So much he wanted to tell her. So much he’d always wanted to tell her, starting that day in the ER when he found out she was pregnant.
He’d driven like the hounds of hell were on his heels when he’d gotten Peter’s text saying she was hurt and at the ER. That was all his text said. No details, just that she’d had an accident and to get his ass to the emergency room.
The fear that nearly crippled him was the first big wakeup call. He’d argued with himself, told himself it was too soon, that she was just someone to hang out and have some fun with while he was there. But the thought of her being hurt, in pain, somewhere that wasn’t with him…he understood what it meant that day. Seeing her sitting on the exam table, pale, bruised, and crying drove the knowledge home. He loved her.
She’d been alone when he found her. She looked up, her green eyes wide and terrified. His first thought was that someone had attacked her. Her arm was a purple mess. The fear in her eyes made everything inside him bristle up. Whoever had fucking hurt his girl would pay for it.
“What happened?” He came into the room, working hard to control his temper at seeing the sight of her arm. “Who hurt you, Angel?”
She looked at her arm and shook her head. “It was an accident.”
“Who?” His anger bled through the whispered word, and her eyes widened.
“I fell in the bathroom and Peter broke the door down, not knowing I was right there. It bounced off my arm.”
“Peter fucking did this to you?” Red. He saw red. Peter did this?
She reached out and caught his arm. “He was trying to help me, Kade. He didn’t do it on purpose. I swear. He’d never hurt me.”
“Is it broken?” Her touch helped to soothe away some of the anger.
“I don’t know. They haven’t come back yet.”
He pushed her over a little and sat next to her on the hard surface. What little padding there was had been worn thin by countless others. He wrapped an arm around her and tucked her into his side. “Are you okay? Do you need anything? Do I need to go roust a nurse for pain meds?”
“Um…about that…” She kept her head down, refusing to look up at him.
“Hey.” He tilted her head up with his index finger. “What’s wrong, baby?”
“I need to tell you something…”
A knock sounded at the door, and they looked up to see the doctor come in. He was an older man, in his early sixties and all smiles. “Miss Lemoraux, you’ll be glad to know there are no broken bones.”
Kade felt Angel exhale, her relief palpable.
“It is, however, an extremely deep tissue bruise and is going to be quite painful. Given your pregnancy, I can’t prescribe anything but acetaminophen for the pain. I am giving you a prescription for prenatal vitamins to get you started until you see your OBGYN. Do you have one?”
“No.” Her voice was quiet, hesitant.
Kade barely registered any of it. His mind got stuck on the word pregnancy. The doctor gave him a curious look, but continued to talk to Angel. Pregnant? How? They’d been careful, and she said she was on birth control. How could she be pregnant?
It. Was. Not. Possible.
No. This couldn’t be true. He was an undercover police officer. He wasn’t supposed to get involved like this. No. No. No. What the hell would his handler have to say?
He closed his eyes. Shit. What was Angel going to say when he busted her brother? It would devastate her. She’d hate him.
Pregnant.
There had to be a way to make this right. Some way to make her understand what was about to happen. How was he going to fix this?
Would she even let him near his kid when the truth came out?
“Kade?” Angel nudged his arm. “Are you okay?”
Pregnant.
Hell fucking no, he wasn’t okay.
They were too young; neither of them knew how to take care of a baby. What the fuck were they going to do? He pinched the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath.
Fuck. Pregnant.
Kade slid off the table and stood there, shock raging.
“Kade,” Angel whispered.
He turned to face her, and all his shock was mirrored in those cat eyes of hers. She looked lost, alone, and so very sad. This wasn’t her fault—well, no more her fault than his. She didn’t need to see him freaking out. She was hurt and scared. That trumped his own fear of what a pregnancy meant.
His hand cupped her cheek. “Hey, now, it’s all going to be okay.”
“I’m sorry.” Her misery washed over him like a tidal wave, and it helped to clear some of his own shock away. She needed him to take care of her right now more than she needed him to be freaking out.
“You don’t have anything to be sorry for, Angel.” He gave her a smile, trying to reassure her and fight back the panic at the same time. It probably came out more of a grimace, if he was honest with himself.
“She sure as fuck doesn’t.”
Peter’s angry voice sounded right behind him, and he turned. Damn, but his friend looked pissed. Kade might be in for a beat down. Not that he blamed him. The fact they had no sisters was one of the few things the Kincaid brothers thanked God for. The poor girl would never have survived six brothers. Nor would any guy she ever dared to so much as glance at. What if he had a daughter? God’s sense of humor would surely bite Kade in the ass in the form of payback.
“Peter, don’t.” Angel’s plea made her brother’s expression harden.
“Outside. Now.” He turned and stormed off.
Kade gave Angel a quick kiss on the forehead and followed his very pissed off best friend to an empty hallway away from the staff and patients. Peter’s fist was balled and ready to land when they finally came to a halt.
“Wait.” Kade held up his hand. “I know you’re mad…”
“You think?” Anger vibrated off Peter, and Kade winced, hoping this would end better than he thought it would.
“No one expected this. We were always so careful.” Kade shook his head. “It is what it is, and…”
He barely registered the fist that swung at him with brutal efficiency, let alone have time to dodge it. The blow landed squarely on his eye, and pain burst to light amid an array of stars. He staggered backward, the wall breaking his fall. Damn, that hurt.
“You stupid, irresponsible…”
“Look, Peter, I don’t know what we’re going to do, what Angel wants to do. This is her decision."
“But what do you want to do?” Peter eyeballed him, begging him to say the wrong thing.
Hell, what was the right thing to say? He didn’t know. This was too fast, too soon, everything sprung on him with no warning. Did he even want a kid? Could he take care of one? What if Angel didn’t want to keep it? He swallowed. He knew he wanted the baby to have a chance, but he also knew ultimately it wasn’t his decision.
Did he want the baby? He loved Angel, and he knew as panicked as he was right now, he’d love the baby because it was a part of her.
“I want what she wants.” That was the best answer he could come up with.
“And if she wants an abortion?” Peter relaxed slightly, but only slightly.
“As much as that bothers me, I’d support her if that’s what she decided.”
“So, you want the baby?”
“Shit, Peter, I don’t know what the fuck I want.” Kade felt sick, his fear bubbling. “I just found out a few minutes ago there even is a baby. Can I have five minutes to process before you finish the Inquisition?”
“No. You can’t have five minutes, because she’s in there twice as freaked as either one of us, scared to death you’re going to walk out…”
“I love her. I wouldn’t walk away from her because she’s pregnant.”
“That’s all you had to say.” Peter cracked his knuckles. “You’re going to marry her.”
Whoa, what? Marriage?
The air went out of his lungs, and a few spots of darkness crept up around his vision.
Pregnant.
Marriage.
Peter snapped his fingers in front of Kade’s face, bringing him away from the brink of darkness. “No passing out. I mean this, Kade. You knocked my sister up, and you damn well will marry her.”
“But…”
“You said you loved her.”
“I do, but…”
“Then that’s the end of it. You’ll get married. I’ll call Father Joe when I leave. Two weeks should be enough time for you to get the marriage license.”
“Slow down, Peter.” Kade braved Peter’s ire. “You’re making plans for your sister. She might not want to marry me. Have you thought of that?”
Peter frowned then marched back the way they’d come. Kade stared at his retreating back, dismayed, but then took off after him. God help him, what kind of situation had he gotten himself into? His mother and grandmother would kill him.
“Angel, do you want to marry Kade?”
Peter’s harsh question hit his ears as he crossed the threshold into Angel’s room. Real smooth, Peter.
Her pale, bloodless face turned from Peter to Kade and back again. Her eyes hardened. “I don’t want to marry anyone because they feel forced into it, Peter.”
“He’s not being forced.” Peter crossed his arms. “Now answer the question.”
“Peter, get the hell out. Your sister and I need to talk, and you’re not helping.” Kade pushed his way past Peter.
“No. I…”
“Out. Now.” Kade spread his legs, taking up his best fighting stance. “I’ll bring her home in a while.”
Peter’s lips thinned, but he nodded. He turned and walked out, his back ramrod stiff. Kade sighed and turned around to face Angel.
“So, a baby, huh?”
She nodded and looked away.
He walked over and leaned into her good arm. “How far along are we?”
“About seven weeks.”
“The shower, then.” He supposed he should have known better, but he didn’t regret that afternoon at all.
“Yeah, that’s what I thought too.” She cleared her throat. “About Peter…”
“He’s just looking out for you.”
“I know, I…you don’t have to marry me, Kade,” she blurted. Her face flushed crimson, and she looked all of the nineteen years old she was in that moment. Young, vulnerable, and ashamed.
It was the last thing he wanted.
“You tell me what you want, Angel. Do you want the baby?”
“I…I was so scared when I found out, but…”
He grasped her chin and made her look at him. “Whatever you decide, Angel, I will support you. Do you want the baby?”
“Yes.” Her green eyes sparked defiance.
“Then marry me.”
“No. Not because of Peter…”
“Hey, have you ever known me to do something I didn’t want to do?”
“No.”
“Then answer me. Will you marry me?”
“You might hate us both later, me and the baby, if you marry me because I’m pregnant.”
“But I’m not marrying you because you’re pregnant.” He leaned in and brushed her lips with his. “I’m marrying you because I love you, Angelique Renae Lemoraux.”
A small gasp left her and her eyes widened. “You love me?”
“Yes. I realized it while I was driving over here, terrified you were in some kind of accident and you might die. I couldn’t bear the thought, and that’s when I knew I loved you. Do you understand? I love you, Angel.”
“What if I don’t love you?” The sparkle of devilment was slowly leaching back into her eyes, and a small fission of relief settled in his stomach.
“You do.” He kissed the corner of her mouth.
“Is that so, Kincaid?”
“Yes, it is so, moye serdtse.”
“And why’s that?”
“Because you love me too.” He leaned back and smiled, his body warming with the sight of her own smile.
“So, you’re telling me how I feel now, are you?”
“If I have to, yes.” He brushed her nose with his. “But you do love me.”
“But what if I don’t?” She leaned forward, her lips meeting his.
“Then I’ll just have to work a little harder.” He kissed her, his lips stealing over hers in a swift assault.
“Ahem.” Someone cleared their throat.
Kade reluctantly pulled back to see a nurse staring at them, amused. “I take it you are the baby daddy?”
Kade laughed outright. “Yeah, that’d be me.”
“Let’s get her all signed out so you can take her home.” The nurse smiled warmly, and Kade stepped aside as she went to work having Angel sign papers and explaining to her about swelling and medications.
It wasn’t lost on him that she hadn’t answered either of his questions. Did she love him? Maybe it was too soon for her. They’d only been dating six months. It was a new revelation to him and one he’d come to on his own. Maybe she needed more time.
It was a sobering thought. They didn’t have all the time in the world. They would be parents in a few months.
Parents.
Damn, how had he gone from being dumbstruck over the word pregnant to thinking the word parent so easily?
The more he thought about the baby, the worse his panic got, but not at the actual pregnancy itself. It had more to do with all the lies surrounding his and Angel’s relationship. He needed to tell her the truth, but if he did, she’d kick him out, and the thought of losing her…it was more than he could take.
No. He’d marry her. He’d show her how much he loved her. If he could convince her of that, maybe she wouldn’t leave him.
The buzzing of his phone snapped him out of his memories. He picked it up off the table and saw the front desk’s number flashing at him. What did they want this time of night?
What if it was another package?
He swiped the bar and answered. “Kincaid.”
“Mr. Kincaid. I have some people here who would like to see you. They are from Kincaid Securities. They said they’d be handling security for Miss Lemoraux? If that is the case, then they need to fill out the proper paperwork, but…”
“But?”
“But they are being difficult.”
Of course they were. He glanced at the stairs. She should be okay for a few minutes. No one could get up here without a key.
“I’ll be right down.”