CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN - DANNY
“Christine?” I say, feeling like I’m stuck on repeat. But she’s not answering me, and this is making me very fucking nervous. “Fucking say something or I swear to God, I’ll pick you up by your ankles, tip you upside down, and shake the words right out of you.”
She smiles. Because I used to say this to her back in that first foster home where we met. I knew she was holding a lot of shit inside and I needed to know what it was. Because I was holding shit inside too and I wanted her to need my story as much as I needed hers.
But she didn’t need anything back then.
It’s scary to meet a kid who needs nothing.
I mean she needed food, and shelter, and all that other basic crap. But she was already at that late stage of neglect where one decides they don’t need love.
I was there too. But I was fourteen and she was ten. It just felt like I should’ve been way ahead of her in the whole no-love thing, not on equal footing.
So I wanted her story and she didn’t want to give it up.
This was my threat. Gonna shake it out of you, Christine.
I never did of course. Or maybe once or twice I’d actually pick her up by her ankles and make her squeal. But I never hurt her, and I never shook any words out of her.
The story came, eventually, but she was the one who shook it out, not me.
She sighs loudly in the here and now and says, “There’s more.”
And she looks ten again. No, she looks eight. Or six. Or four. She looks like some version of Christine I never saw but always knew existed.
“Yeah, no shit,” I say, taking her hand and pulling her towards me. “I know that.” She sits down on the wall and kinda… slumps into herself. I put my arm around her shoulder, and she leans against me.
“I can’t talk about it here. I can’t stay here.” She straightens up again, turning a little so she can look me in the eyes. “I need to leave this place right now and never come back.”
I nod my head. “OK. I mean, I never figured we’d be staying so I texted our driver to come get us. He should be here in a few.”
“But I’m not sure Alec should come with us.”
“Whoa,” I say, putting up a hand. “No. We didn’t just fucking break that asshole out of a fortress to leave him behind with Eliza fucking Watson.”
“He needs to decide—”
“Fuck you,” I say. “Just fuck you, Christine. He did decide. He’s with us. These Watson assholes can do whatever the fuck they want, but he’s with us.”
She sighs again. “That’s his daughter.”
“I know that. He knows that. And if we go in there right now and say, ‘Let’s go, man. We’re out,’ he’s gonna leave with us.”
“You can’t know that.”
“Let’s go test it out.”
She deflates again. Shakes her head just a little bit. “I don’t think I can.”
“I’ll do it.”
“No,” she says. “I don’t think I can take it. I don’t think I could stand those empty seconds where he thinks about it and makes a decision.”
“He’s gonna choose us,” I say. So fucking sure of this.
“Maybe. But there’s gonna be a part of him that wonders if he should stay and I can’t deal with that right now, Danny.”
“He doesn’t love Eliza, Christine. He loves—”
“It’s not about Eliza,” Christine snaps. Rage in her voice. “It’s not about her kid either.”
“Then… what?”
“I just need to leave.”
Now it’s my turn to sigh. “Well, that’s the plan. Let’s grab Alec and go.” I see her words before she speaks them and hold up a hand to shut her up. “Fuck you. We’re not leaving him behind. He’s not here for Eliza. Or the kid. He’s here because we brought him here. I’m sure he’s got lots of questions and I’m sure his answers will be coming. But I want my fucking answers too. Right the fuck now. And if you can’t give them to me here, then we’re leaving. So get up, put on your big girl panties, and stop acting like a goddamn child.”
Footsteps on the path make us both look up. Christine tenses up so bad, I have a moment of panic that the interloper is Eliza.
But it’s not, it’s Charlie.
“Dude, I thought I told you I got this.”
He doesn’t even look at me. He only has eyes for Christine.
“You never told him, did you?” Charlie asks.
“Shut up,” Christine snaps.
“Told me what?” I say. “Did you two—”
“No,” Christine says.
But Charlie says, “Yes,” in that same moment.
And I don’t how I know they’re talking about two different things, so both these answers make perfect sense, but I do.
They didn’t do what I was asking about. Meaning they didn’t date, or fuck, or whatever.
They did something else. Something Charlie seems to want to talk about and Christine clearly doesn’t.
How much did I miss in those four empty years?
“You got something to say?” I ask Charlie. “Because now would be a really good time to fill me in.”
“Don’t you dare,” Christine seethes.
Charlie puts up his hands. A gesture that says, I won’t. But you need to.
My phone buzzes a text. I glance down at the screen and read it.
“OK,” I say, getting up and pulling Christine to her feet. She resists for a second, which is dumb—she’s the one who wants to leave—but relents. “The driver’s here. So we’re going inside, grabbing Alec, and going somewhere else.”
I don’t wait for an answer, just tug Christine past Charlie and head back toward the house on the dark slate path. Inside it’s quiet and we find Alec and Eliza at some sort of standstill in the kitchen. Christine yanks her hand from mine, picking up her pace, and marches on through towards the front door.
I say, “Come on, Alec. The driver’s here. We’re leaving.”
And then the moment does come. The one Christine was dreading. I’m glad she’s not here to witness it, because there is a split second where Alec considers this.
It’s fair, his consideration. Because anyone, in any situation, even ones that don’t involve ex-girlfriends and secret babies, would need this split second to decide if they were staying or going.
But I get her point.
To Alec’s credit he just says, “Hundreds,” and heads after Christine without a second glance back at Eliza.
She stares at me. Glares at me. A look of hate that’s probably meant for Alec but lands with me since he’s already gone.
I just turn and follow him outside. Christine is already getting in to the back of the limo, but Alec is saying something to Russell as he walks past. “Get them somewhere safe. I’ll be in touch.”
Then it’s Russell’s turn to glare at him.
Alec doesn’t even notice. He’s already reaching for the door handle on the opposite side of the car.
I slow my steps as Russell’s eyes turn to me. “I don’t know, dude.” I say in way of explanation. “Lars, I guess.”
“I got that part, mate. thanks. But the part I don’t have quite yet is… what the fuck does he think he’s doing?”
“I have no clue,” I say, passing him by. “Just… get them somewhere safe.” But then I turn and add over my shoulder, “And tell that tiny one that I’m sorry I couldn’t stay.”
I don’t know why I say it and I’m pretty sure it was a bad idea. Pretty sure that Uncle Russell isn’t too keen that Uncle Danny has suddenly shown up out of nowhere.
But fuck it.
Alec’s kid, right?
And we’re a team. So…
I just know what it’s like to be left behind without a second thought and I made myself a promise many years ago that I’d never do that to a kid. Ever.
That was the whole reason I took to Christine in the first place. Someone bailed on her just like someone bailed on me and it’s not right.
“I’ll do that,” Russell murmurs.
And when I reach for the door of the limo, I look back at the house. The seemingly perfect happily ever after that Eliza is living here. And I get it. I do.
This is something Christine and I never had but always wanted.
That has to be what’s eating at her. That has to be why she’s acting this way.
I tell myself that as I open the car door to find Christine’s shattered emotions staring up at me.
“Scoot over,” I say, motioning her to take the middle between Alec and me.
But she doesn’t. And that’s how I know I’ve got it all wrong. I’m missing too many pieces. This puzzle hasn’t been solved.
She gets up and takes the seat across from us.
When I get in, we’re a triangle all right. Each of us taking one point in the shape of our love in the back seat of this limo. But it feels wrong in this moment. Feels false. Because there’s more to us now than there was before. A new shape has formed.
Some kind of square that includes Eliza and her daughter.
Three is hard enough to maintain in a relationship. Four… just doesn’t happen. And five?
We’re fucking doomed.
But that’s not it either. Not all of it, anyway.
Christine is not missing her childhood or comparing it to the one Alec’s daughter is living out. She’s not worried about Eliza and Andra coming between us.
It’s something worse.
Something much, much worse.