JULIA WAS GONE FOR the entire week and showed up at the close of the day at Chris’s job site on the eighth day. They were in the final phase of construction and it felt like everything needed to be done all at the same time. The site was all aflutter with completion of the last minute items. Multiple subcontractors were now at work on-site. Electricians were installing the electrical outlet covers and adjusting the speed of the ceiling fans. Interior details were getting done too, from touching up the painting to polishing the woodwork and hanging all the signage. Outside crews worked on the landscaping, lighting, and endless cleanup. Chris was never busier. Moving like a whirlwind for long, ten-hour days, he still couldn’t get all the work done. It helped him though. It took his mind off the gut ache that chronically plagued him. It also helped when he pretended that in two days, when Lloyd came back on-site, he wouldn’t be fired.

In an odd sort of response after he flubbed up the airport, Chris worked harder and longer hours to make the building—Lloyd’s building—come together on time and budget. The final inspection before occupancy was foremost in his mind and he gave it his all to achieve the best results for Lloyd. Perhaps it was guilt that pressed him forward. It was Chris’s best way to apologize, by giving Lloyd something significant that he could remember him by. After all the things Lloyd did for Chris, he wanted to repay him in kind. But that was all for naught too.

Chris waited diligently, expecting Margaret, Walter, or even Judy Ann to give him the pink slip from Lloyd. Surely, Lloyd must’ve called them, although he could have called Chris directly from Hawaii if he intended to fire him. But nothing happened. Not a word. Not a damn word in eight days. Chris was wearing his heart out with regret, nervousness, and anxiety although he still couldn’t understand how he managed to keep his job.

Eventually, he concluded that Lloyd must have wanted to fire him in person. Oh, the glee the man would receive from it. But Lloyd deserved to have his moment. Chris was ready to hand it to him on a beautifully engraved, gold platter. In the meantime, he couldn’t walk away. His humiliation would be swift and real and soon. But Chris refused to leave his last job undone. Not after working so long and hard on it, not to mention all the skills and techniques he gleaned from it.

Despite his current failure, at least he had one success. This building. And he was determined to finish it right.

Glancing up at four-thirty on Thursday afternoon, he saw Julia. She was standing just inside the door to the job shack. He left the door open to circulate the air and draw a breeze inside the stuffy area. He was reviewing the final site plans with the landscaper, examining anything that could have been missed.

His head jerked up suddenly when she appeared.

His mouth went dry, and his thoughts scattered as his tongue grew thick in his mouth.

“Chris? The line? Here?”

He was startled at the sub’s voice interrupting his speeding thoughts. “What?”

“Here?”

“Uh. Yeah. Sure. I’m sorry, do you mind if I make some calls before we go any further?”

The man’s face scrunched up. “Yes. I do mind. If we’re to finish by next week, we need to complete a review of this.” Chris set a hand on the guy’s shoulder and subtly edged him towards the door.

“Okay. I’ll be back here at six. Come whenever you can, and we’ll finish up.”

The guy sputtered his displeasure as he resisted Chris’s suggestion, but he couldn’t keep it up for long. Finally, with a glare, he turned and jerked his arm out of Chris’s grasp, muttering obscenities as he exited. Chris was left standing right next to Julia, and unable to move or breathe. He stared longer than necessary at the quickly retreating and angry sub.

“That’s not how to make friends in this industry.”

He sucked in a sharp breath at hearing her voice. A sense of peace began filling him. Her voice seemed to echo in his head, softly and cool, to the point of being seductive. At least it seemed that way to his inflamed brain. She seemed dwarfed beside him, staring at the angry sub as he jumped into his truck and slammed the door.

“That’s okay, I doubt I’m long for this industry anyway. Surprised I’m still here.”

“You haven’t spoken to Lloyd yet?” Her head tilted up to look at him.

Okay, might as well get right down to it. He sighed, stepping back, needing oxygen. She entered the job shack and he closed and locked the door. They might as well have it out now, get it over and done. He had a lot to tell whomever ended up finishing out the job for him.

“No. I haven’t spoken to him yet. Are you here to officially release me? Or was that something Lloyd intended to do himself?”

Julia walked away and sat down at the table. “No, not that I know of.” That was all she said as she crossed her arms over her chest. She wore her hair back, with minimal makeup and a t-shirt and jeans, looking even more casual than usual. Her breasts, all pointy and perky, stuck out beneath the white cotton material and he had to force his eyes to look away.

“Do you think lifting weights will make up for the fact that you are a giant, emotional wimp? Some people say muscles as big as yours are only to compensate for something you feel inferior about. Only it’s not your dick, is it? It’s your balls.”

His jaw clenched. “Okay, fine, Julia. Let’s do this. I fucked up. Both before you left and what I said to you and then… worse, showing up at the airport. I shouldn’t have gone to the airport. I shouldn’t have said those things… and I expect to get fired for it. Go ahead, say what you need to say. I deserve it.”

She dropped her hands and balled them into fists at her sides. Raising one, she seemed to be hurling it at him. “You fucked up, all right. But it was because you showed up at the airport and did nothing. And you said nothing. What is wrong with you? Who does things like that? Who goes that far to say and do nothing?”

“Me, I do. I couldn’t handle facing my—” Father. The word was hanging on the tip of his tongue, but he caught himself in time. “Facing my boss. It was much easier to imagine going there and doing what I went to do when it only existed inside my head. Because there was Lloyd. Right there. Beside us. How could I… what could I say? He was obviously your choice. I realized that moment how stupid it was for me to show up like that and what? What could I do?”

She slid off the table edge she was sitting on. “He’s not here right now. What would you have said if he weren’t standing there?”

“Nothing. I was about to leave when I accidentally ran into you two.”

“You were still there, however. Tell me why.”

“To stop you from leaving. I didn’t want you to go to Hawaii. Not… with Lloyd.”

“Why?” she asked, her voice sounding husky with emotion. “Why would you care, Chris? You’ve never indicated to me that you cared.”

“Yes, I did. I yelled at you pretty epically when first you started traveling with him.”

“Maybe, but not for the right reasons. That was more about my reputation, my job…”

He turned and crossed the room to avoid further eye contact with Julia. Leaning his hands on the table atop the thick pile of plans, the feeling under his palms both calmed and hurt him. All the work he’d done and learned how to do was over. And he’d never get a chance to do it again. Take a concept from paper blueprints to an actual building, like the one that now stood outside the small, plywood shack.

“It wasn’t about your reputation. Or your job…”

“Then what was it about?”

“You.” Chris answered her honestly. His voice was quiet, and his head tilted down.

He heard her release a slow breath. She was standing directly behind him. “Me? How? Tell me, Chris. How was this all about me?”

His shoulders slumped forward as he hung his head. “You knew the moment you saw me in that airport what it was. Don’t make me explain it. It’s not fair.”

She stayed silent, then said, “You haven’t asked me how my vacation was.”

Something slammed his gut and he flexed his fist. “Don’t. Please, Julia. I get it. I fucked up. I showed up when I shouldn’t have. I probably made things incredibly awkward and more difficult with Lloyd, and now you’re angry about that and want to punish me. But believe me, I’ve been punished severely already. Don’t tell me anything.”

She continued as if he hadn’t replied. “It was so hot. Surprisingly hot for October. But quite pleasant after all the cool temperatures over here. I even got a tan.”

“Julia—” Chris all but groaned. He was surprised to see she could be so cruel about his feelings and his amateurish mistake.

“Why don’t you ask me where I went?”

He shut his eyes. “I prefer not to hear the details of your vacation with Lloyd.”

“Ask me. Then I promise I’ll leave.”

His spine shuddered. “Fine. Where did you go? Which island was so hot that you got tan?”

“Phoenix. Arizona. Never been there before. Have you? You should go there sometime. I found lots of stuff to do. I had to make slightly altered arrangements. But it was good. Relaxing. Spent a lot of time by the pool. Thinking. Processing. Examining… things. Feeling a lot of new things.”

His entire body jerked upright and he shook his head. Were his ears full of cotton? He whipped around. “Did you say… Phoenix?”

Biting her lower lip with her front teeth, she squeezed her mouth in a flat line and gave a small shrug. “I did. I said Phoenix.”

He stared at her face, studying her mouth, then her neck, her chest and back up to her face. He was confused. Her dark eyes were shining, but slightly mysterious.

“Why were you at the airport, Chris?” she asked him again.

He stared at her. “I didn’t want to see you get hurt. Like the others.”

“I wasn’t. I’m not. Never was. Besides, Lloyd got hurt this time.”

Chris’s neck jerked back. “You mean, you…?”

She nodded. “He wanted a lot more than I did so I broke it off. I wasn’t looking for anything serious. I’m not ready for commitment. At least, not with him.”

“Then… with who?”

She squinted her eyes at him. “Why should there have to be someone?”

He flushed. “Right. No. Of course not.” He stuttered over his words. “Uh, so, are you staying on here then?”

“What Lloyd wanted was not part of my job description.”

“Right. So you can just… what? Continue to work with him?”

She tilted her head. “Yes, I can still work with him.”

“Duh. Yeah. You’re right. I’m sorry… it’s just…”

“Just what?” she challenged.

“No assistant stays on to work for him and be around him. If they do, it must be because they were hurt and can’t accept his rejection. It’s never happened to him before, not that I’ve heard.”

“Why is this such a big deal to you? From the very start? You must work and meet dozens of people who go home and have sex with other people. Why is it so hard for you if I do? You act as though it bothers you? Why do you care so much about what I do outside of work?”

He glanced down at his hands and cracked his knuckles. “Uh. Well, I didn’t mean to appear like that.”

“Then what did you mean? I’m not asking you again, what did you want to say to me at the airport?”

Chris didn’t answer at first because he was tongue-tied. As always. It seemed to be a chronic condition.

 Chris couldn’t resist anymore and he grabbed her in his arms, pushing her into the door before planting his lips on hers. He slid both hands down her torso and back, slowly bringing them up again and cupping her face. His massive body loomed over hers. Their lips connected and moved against each other with hard, fast, and explosive passion. His tongue swirled into her mouth as hers responded sliding along his and making him moan in pleasure. On and on their lips touched and tasted. Their mouths danced a tango of conquering and retreating. They would kiss with heavy tongues and groans to then soften it to more subtle, soft smooches of lips until they were back to tongues again. They were wild, lost, unable to stop.

The passionate kiss calmed and he retreated from her mouth after three more lingering kisses with his hands cupping her jaw and both thumbs touching the delicate bone structure. He lifted his head and saw her eyelids blinking fast while her mouth stayed open.

“That’s what I meant to do. I don’t know how to say that to you, Julia. Months ago, at the hotel room, I chickened out. I chickened out again at the airport. I meant to tell you not to go. Don’t go anywhere with Lloyd. Stay at home. Stay with me. And be with me.”

She didn’t answer him at first. His lips left hers to pepper a line of kisses into her smooth, straight hair as he trailed towards her ear and gently nibbled and licked her ear. His warm breath made her shiver. He kissed her cheekbone, below her eye and then moved down to her lips again. She groaned and her arms clutched his shoulders.

He let her go, resting his hands on her waist. “Julia?”

Her eyes were still closed. “You couldn’t have led with something like that? Either time?”

He smiled and leaned forward to press his lips on hers. “I didn’t know it was welcome.”

“What about knowing I was with Lloyd? You’re just going to forget about that and deal with it?”

He bent down, beginning to nibble her neck. She leaned her head back. “I don’t care anymore. I did at first, I cared a lot. I was tormented with jealousy. But now I… I just don’t care. I want to care, I want it to be a deal breaker. That way, I could stay on here and keep my job and the life I had before you showed up. I liked that life. A lot. But… I like you more. More than all of it put together. I wish I did not want you. But I can’t stop.”

She jerked her head up and pushed on his shoulder. “And now you see me as tainted goods?” Her eyebrows rose, challenging him.

“No. No. I never thought that.”

His hand grasped hers and he held her head in his other hand. His thumb rubbed the soft skin between her thumb and forefinger. His hands looked like huge baseball mitts next to hers. They engulfed her hands. But it felt so different… and so good.

“Because I was afraid you could end up with him. Or be so devastated that anyone you dated after him would just be on the rebound. I didn’t expect you to control what happened or dump him. You’ll end up okay… but he won’t. I couldn’t afford to lose even the most remote chance I could have with you.”

“You already had your chance and you didn’t take it. You acted like you wanted nothing to do with me.”

“What are you talking about?”

“At the hotel room. I asked you several times what you were really doing there. You insisted more than once that you were seeking forgiveness. What was I supposed to do? I had to believe you were there for that because you refused to say anything different.”

“How could I? Lloyd came to the door. The man you were sleeping with. What could I do? Declare my attraction and tell him I wanted you? And what would you have done? Just shut the door on your old man lover?” He gritted his teeth, trying to keep calm. He had to keep it all about them… not Lloyd. Fucking Lloyd. Forget the past. This was not about yesterday, or nine days ago even. Now. From here forward. But… he remembered Lloyd.

“I didn’t sleep with Lloyd that night. Or the next… or the next. It took a good three months after that night. After he began to value me as an exemplary employee and after… long after I believed you wanted nothing to do with me.”

“So you had to sleep with our boss?” Chris flung it out, and his tone was nothing less than sarcastic. His chest began heaving.

She stepped back and hit the door she was up against only a moment ago. “You’re not going to let it go, are you? Now I’m tainted goods. That’s what you see me as.”

His shoulders slunk downwards. “I don’t at all. No… I… Shit!” he muttered to himself in utter frustration as he stepped back. “No. I’m still trying to understand that night… You’re saying that all those nights ago, I could have had you? All I had to do was speak up? I came there to speak up and when I saw you walking down the hallway, in the middle of the night…”

“You naturally assumed I was taking the walk of shame?”

“Maybe not the walk of shame, but yeah, I believed by speaking up, my intentions would be unwanted and frankly, unwarranted too right then.” He suddenly whirled around from his pacing and came closer. Ducking down, he wrapped his arms around her in the most gentle embrace, and it startled her. His action was directly opposed to his tone of voice. “You have nothing to be ashamed of. I came there because I wanted you, Julia Lindstrom, and I have since then, regardless of Lloyd or anyone else you may sleep with.” He sucked in a breath. “If you’ll just live in the present with me now, who cares who you were with before or who I was with? It’s only now that matters. Us. You and me. If—if that’s what you want.”

 She touched his face and her heart was hammering hard. “I didn’t know it was before. But…”

“But?”

“Being with you always makes me smile. You never cease to cheer me up. I look forward to seeing you and right now, my heart might beat right out of my chest I’m so full of emotions. I don’t even know what all the emotions are. I didn’t feel like this at all, not even close, when I was planning to go to Hawaii.”

He shook his head. “How did you end up not going to Hawaii?”

“Well, seeing you was like having a glass of ice water thrown over us. What could we do? Just proceed as planned? No, I realized I wanted to follow you, and go back to this dirty, old job shack much more than I wanted to lie on pristine Hawaiian beaches with Lloyd. We sat in a small café and I told him I had deep feelings for you. We broke up and I waved him off to Hawaii. It was kind of sad. I watched him walking alone down the boarding ramp, and he turned only once to wave at me, and his face looked long and sad. He pressed his lips together in a small smile but I could tell how badly he was hurting. I think I must have hurt his feelings. Or his ego, at the very least.” She shrugged. “It might just be his ego that got bruised. I’m not sure he’s had much rejection from women in his life.”

“Did you ever think… you could love him?”

“No. Not even for a day. I always knew that. He knew it too.” She walked towards the plans table and flopped in the chair. “Sit down. This might bother you.”

He sat near her and leaned forward, taking her small hand in both of his, and playing with it. He folded it between his hands, then looked at it as he ran his fingertips over her knuckles. “Your hand looks like a child’s hand in mine.”

She smiled slightly, also staring at their joined hands. “I feel like a child with you sometimes.”

“You weren’t ever attracted to me. My bulk. I’m too big. And too bald. You like guys who look like Lloyd.”

“He does have a nice head of hair. All that silvery gray, you know, the silver fox and all,” she said wagging her eyebrows as a soft smile appeared on her face. She leaned forward and touched his hands with her lips. He stared down at her bent head, surprised but relieved to feel her soft lips on the back of his hand while her blonde hair grazed his arms. She glanced back up at him. “But he doesn’t have a heart like you, Chris.”

“I didn’t expect you to say that.”

“What did you think I’d say?”

He smiled. “Nothing dirty.”

She blew out a breath. “Let’s just say it then, get it out, and then it’ll be you and me. From here forward. Okay?”

He shut his eyes. “Okay. Let’s say it.”

“I liked you. From the very start. There was no one I liked working with more. You helped me and supported me. You made sure I didn’t become a laughing stock and kept me from getting anyone coffee.” She smiled up at him. “Believe me, I’ve appreciated that so much and even more the longer I stay working in this industry. You made it possible for people to respect me, and they trusted my skills, and no one asked me to get their coffee.”

“But I’m not what you were looking for.”

“You’re going to have to change your mindset. And you’re not going to like this. But here it is. Truth?”

He nodded, pressing his lips together and letting her speak. She wanted to be honest now and Chris did not want to sound juvenile about it from jealousy. “Truth.”

“I wasn’t looking for anyone. Not you or any other man in this place, the job site, the office or otherwise. I was strictly here to learn. And not make a fool of myself. I did notice you, Chris, because you’re like a freaking boulder in a bed of gravel. I mean, you get that, right?”

He had a small smile. “I get that.”

“I liked you right off. You were gentle, easy, calming, and half as intimidating as you look. Your eyes said otherwise.” She lifted a hand and dragged it over his cheeks. “They’re so beautiful. They seemed to pop out and reach down into my soul.”

He knew although he didn’t interject it, that his eyes were not enough for her to desire him, however.

“I liked Lloyd too. His confidence, knowledge and power. Yeah, of course it’s appealing. But I wasn’t thinking about either of you that way. Certainly not at first. Then, when you got angry at me, I didn’t understand it. It made me so mad. And I thought how dare you? I flung all of your accusations and innuendo at Lloyd, which put him into a near panic because he worried I’d leave. He wanted to do the right thing, and still does. I didn’t consider him anything but a dirty old man at first. But I started to believe him eventually, and yes, I slept with him. I had sex with our boss. I don’t know what to say to you about that except sorry?” She shrugged. “I have a very limited sexual history. Remember, I was homeschooled for half of high school.”

He looked startled. “I thought you went to Calliston High School.”

“No, I exaggerated. Only for two years. I had problems with anxiety when I was younger. I was in counseling for a few years, and started getting over it, and growing stronger and better. It worked better for me to learn at home. So I never dated any boys my age. In my early twenties, there were two guys. Neither offered anything profound or important to me. Lloyd was very interested in me, however, and he tried pretty hard.”

“Where I didn’t.”

“Chris—” She raised her eyebrows in warning. “This isn’t about what you did or didn’t do. It’s about what I did. Let me finish.”

He threw his hands up. “Sorry. Please continue.”

“So I was flattered and curious. I wanted to have sex with him. Lloyd made it easy. It was just too easy. I wanted to experience it. That’s all. I don’t know if you can live with that, but it’s the truth.”

“I can live with that.”

“You answered too fast. You need to think about it longer. I’m not going to keep reassuring you about me and Lloyd, because I have no intention of quitting my job here. I will still be working with Lloyd. You will still be working with Lloyd, and you’ll have to live with that. If he can do it, so can you and you’re going to have to.”

“That’s a moot subject. He plans to fire me.”

She shook her head. “I told Lloyd if he fired you over me, I’d sue him for sexual harassment. He can’t do that and he’s not going to.”

He blew out a breath. “I didn’t foresee that. How can it work though? How can the three of us… I mean, how can he and I…? I think you are underestimating the delicate egos of men.”

“Not yours, Chris. I never underestimated you. You’ll have to rise above this, Chris. For me. I expect you to work at it. He lost the battle and he’s hurting now. Give him that. Let it go. You won.”

It shamed Chris to realize how much he loved the sound of that. He won. “But how did you end up in Phoenix?”

“I had the time off already and I needed to think. Relax. Decide what my goals were.” She squeezed his hand. “And to punish you.”

“You did a phenomenal job of that. I never thought… you’d do that. I thought you went with him. No one’s heard a word from him.”

She sighed. “I’m sorry about that part.”

“But he started all of this when he hired you with the sole intent of seducing you. Don’t forget that.”

“So again, Chris, what did you want to say at the airport? Please tell me what you planned to say. Say it to me. I need to hear it.”

He smiled sheepishly but leaned forward to kiss her lips. “Would you like to go on a date with me, Julia?”

Her eyebrows shot up. “I was expecting…”

“What? Why skip over all the fun stuff? The real stuff? The stuff you deserve. An active dating life. I think we have a lot of work to do.”

Her smile was soft and sincere and she seemed quite pleased. Chris pleased her. He ran his hand through her hair. “Tonight? I don’t, however, want us to wait any longer or…”

“Choke? Chicken out? Fail to perform?”

He laughed, messing up her hair around her scalp affectionately. “Deserved. But Julia?”

Her lips tilted up. “What?”

“There is one area that I never choke, chicken out, or fail to perform. So make sure you are good and ready when that time rolls around.”

She widened her eyes and the smile on her face got huge. “Tonight then?”

“Seven o’clock. Sharp. I’ll pick you up.”

She slid onto her feet, rubbing her hands on her thighs. “Okay.”

“Okay.”

They shared a smile as she backed up to the door and Chris’s was so bright, it could have blinded anyone who saw them.