CHRIS SPOTTED HER BLONDE head across the dining room. It was Julia, of that he was sure. He sprinted towards her, but the elevator closed before he could make it. After weaseling her room number from the clerk—he lied and said he was her brother and forgot his key—the man at the desk hadn’t cared enough to try to stop him. Chris quickly found the stairs and started a full run straight up them. Sweating, huffing, and puffing, he finally hit floor number seven and opened the door, his heart hammering. No one was about. The plush carpet muffled any noise.

He found her room number and sucked in a breath, trying to ease his hammering heart. Mustering all of his courage and strength, he knocked.

And knocked.

And knocked.

No one answered. He listened at the door, but heard no sounds. He waited, but no one came.

 She wasn’t back. She hadn’t returned to her room yet.

He leaned forward, wilting against the door. So, was she with Lloyd? She had to be, there was no other reasonable explanation. Anger riled his gut. He fisted his hands, flexing his fingers and clasping them. No. This wasn’t right. He shouldn’t have been freaking out at Julia for doing whatever she chose to do. She was young, single, unattached and had every right to be with whomever she chose. He rationally knew that. His mom was right, though; he never told her how he felt. He never once suggested a different option. She was attractive, interesting, cool and pretty hard to figure out. An air of mystery made her intriguing, and a challenge to understand. She wasn’t any typical blonde, bimbo, or airhead. She might not have known what she was doing when she first started working, or anything else about the construction industry, but she already proved that she was eager to learn, and she retained and applied any information that was supplied to her. She had good initiative and followed through. Qualities that were as valuable as experience or education.

That’s why Chris never should have insinuated, okay… he pretty much outright accused her of getting hired strictly because of her youth and looks. Then he bluntly implied that Lloyd only wanted those things from her. But that was before she had flourished in the job. She owned it now. And she was quickly becoming an indispensable asset to most of the field superintendents. She was their go-to person, before anyone bothered the project managers or Lloyd, or any of the other upper management and important people. They didn’t have time for all the nuts and bolts of construction that Julia did.

Suppliers and subcontractors didn’t often respond to a job superintendent’s call. A call from the main office always got things done quicker, cheaper, and better. Julia had become the person they called for those instances.

And now Chris annihilated her confidence and status in the company. What he did was wrong. Whatever she did, even if he strongly disapproved, she wasn’t doing anything wrong.

It also meant—He couldn’t find the words to describe it without flinching. No. Nope. His brain refused to go there, no matter how logical and rational he tried to be. That would mean, from there forward, he could never have a ghost of a chance with Julia. Nope, not after she slept with his father! He shuddered. There was no going back from that. There was no way he could turn that wrong into a right. He could never consider any kind of relationship with her after that, not anything. But that wasn’t her fault, since she didn’t know how he felt. He refused to speak up about it. And it might have cost him the only possible chance in his twenty-eight years to be with a woman that made him feel the way she could. The mere thought of her felt like an unexpected punch to the gut. Never mind when he was in her presence. Chris adored Julia. And he never once dared to tell her. He got a few whiffs of Lloyd’s interest in her before now, but he never considered she might feel the same for the older man. And why shouldn’t she?

Chris blew it. Forever. His heart dipped lower than his guts.

However, he still owed her an apology. If he left there without doing that, his mother would have most likely disowned him. He had to be punished for taking out his hurt and what his mother referred to as his fragile ego because Julia chose someone else instead of him. That was his problem, not hers.

And of course, it wasn’t her fault that he wanted to sleep with her so badly.

Sighing, he slid down the wall onto his butt, beside her door, his legs outstretched. He had to pull them in whenever someone walked by. Leaning back, he stared up at the ceiling while ruminating over his lost chances and the ache of regret it left in his heart. Huge regret. But Lloyd was his biological dad. His own flesh and blood. Jesus, they couldn’t possibly… share a girl? He shuddered. Ugh. Yuck. Even if Lloyd had no clue about the identity of his son and Julia had no idea about his secret relationship to her boss, and now, most likely, her lover, Chris knew.

Then again, what proof did he have that Julia ever wanted anything with him? Not even remotely. She wasn’t blown over by him, that was for sure. She called him a friend and had grown comfortable enough with him to ask the questions she might not have asked anyone else. So he was a fraction of a degree above some of the other workers, he certainly was astute enough to know he was not her bucket list fantasy. He got that. She was too hung up on how big he was. Not her preferred type, which he suspected from all the comments she made and her stolen glances. He slid his hand over his bald head and fingered the few earrings that outlined his ears. His nose was a little too large for his face and slightly crooked. He had very bright blue eyes, and more than one woman had gushed about those. Some women told him that his shaved head seemed to highlight all of his other features, but mostly, his eyes. Still, he wasn’t what Julia was looking for.

She probably would have been attracted to someone like his father. Polished. Well-dressed. Massive locks of hair. He sighed, leaning forward, and feeling more glum and depressed as he waited in the generic hallway.

Eventually, he drifted off to sleep, but approaching footsteps woke him up. Startled to see the attractive blonde coming towards him down the long hallway, he clambered to his feet. From quite a way back, Julia paused and then stopped. Her mouth opened into a surprised “O” as her eyes rounded out with astonishment. With unmasked surprise, she said, “Chris?” Her tone suggested she couldn’t believe her eyes. She blinked a few times as if to make sure she wasn’t imagining his presence there.

Sheepishly, and feeling worse than before, he nodded. “Yeah. It’s me.”

Julia’s eyebrows dropped down and she started walking again, her left hand holding a pair of high heels and in her right hand, her room card-key. She seemed ready to plow right through him if he didn’t move. He stepped to the side and didn’t fail to notice she was wearing the same dress from the first day he met her. His heart dipped down. She looked so pretty in it. Petite, and so well put-together. The back dropped down to a sharp V that ended in the middle her back. His fingers twitched with desire. He longed to run his hands over, the smooth, tanned skin he glimpsed there. She unlocked her room and opened the door. Only then did she glare up at him.

“What are you doing here? At…” She glanced at her wristwatch, adding, “At two o’clock in the morning?”

Chris winced. It was much later than he thought. If she were this late, there was no doubt in Chris’s mind as to where she’d been. But why did Lloyd send her out all alone in the middle of the night? What a damn prick.

Rubbing his neck, Chris dropped his face downwards and blushed with shame, while his neck and cheeks grew flaming hot. “I came… I just came to apologize. For saying the things I said to you. It was all wrong of me and I had no right.”

Her eyebrows twitched and her scowl deepened. “Well, of course you didn’t. But why would you drive all the way over here to say that? I mean, what did you do? Just sit here waiting for me? How did you know it was my room?”

“I convinced the clerk that I was your brother. He wasn’t as concerned about your privacy and the hotel rules as you might have hoped. He didn’t even bother to question me. And yeah, I came all the way here. I felt so lousy and—”

“And you were waiting here to what? Confirm or deny your accusations? Maybe now you’re just a plain, old-fashioned stalker?”

“No. No, not a stalker. My mother insisted I—”

“You told your mother what you said to me?”

“Yeah.” He stared down at the multicolored patterned carpet in the hallway.

“Why would you do such a thing?”

He shrugged his shoulder muscles, tightening up with anxiety. He wasn’t sure how to reply. “She realized something was up. I can’t lie to her and she just told me everything that I already knew. I was a dick. And an asshole. I don’t deserve your forgiveness but I still have to ask for it.”

Julia tossed her shoes through the open doorway and angrily crossed her arms over her chest. “You were. What are you? A mama’s boy?”

He nodded, shrugging. “Well, I guess so. Yeah.”

She stared up at him until her lips twitched. “You don’t look like one. You don’t live with her too, do you? Down in her basement? With your cat?”

He might have been ashamed, tired, and mortified over where Julia was tonight but his lips twitched in response. She always made him laugh. “You mean, like you? Should I remind you where you live? And no, I don’t live with her. Just me and the cat.”

The door next to Julia’s burst open and a head poked out. “Some of us are trying to sleep!” They glanced at each other in surprise after the head ducked back in and slammed the door shut.

She sighed. “I guess you better come in.”

Julia entered first, setting her key and purse on the dresser top. She clicked on the floor lamp next to it. Her room was as neat and tidy as it must have been on check-in. She had a small bag on the suitcase rack that was open but nothing seemed to be taken out or put away.

She turned towards him. The closed hotel room made it much more intimate and exciting. Her gaze traveled over him until she eyed him wearily. “What are you really doing here, Chris? This is insane. I can’t believe you’d come up here like this. Duh. You owe me an apology, okay, but a simple text or a phone call would have been the logical start.”

“I shouldn’t have suggested you were coming here for the reasons I did. Or let you think you weren’t good at your job and important to the company. You are. I know how often you help out and that’s because you help me out the most.”

Her mouth flattened to a mean line. “And before I returned? You realized I wasn’t downstairs or in here, so do you have any questions? Or comments?”

“No.” He shook his head, sucking in air. “No. Whatever you choose to do with yourself in your personal life is strictly your business.”

“No matter what I do or don’t do, it isn’t any of your business.”

“No. It isn’t.”

Her mouth puckering with disdain, she stared at him for a few moments before muttering, “I refuse to confirm or deny anything to you about anything or anybody.”

“Okay.”

“Is it okay? Or am I somehow sullied now? Changed? My ability to do the job I was hired to do is not hampered by the partner I choose to have sex with, is it? Isn’t that what got you so bent out of shape? Why don’t you ask if I’m still as pure as the driven snow as I was then?”

He shook his head. “I was way out of line. Nothing is changed about you… or us… regardless… of ...”

“Having sex with Lloyd? Is that what you mean?”

Shuddering, Chris tried to keep it from showing. “Yes.”

“I walked the site with Lloyd, along with three other men from the Orson Group. Do you know who they are? It’s a large dental chain who intends to build a branch in Oregon to use as their headquarters. So it must include both the corporate offices and the practicing offices to treat dental patients. That makes it a complicated building. Their discussion went on for hours, long past dinner, and after they finally left, Lloyd and I had drinks until now.”

“Except… you don’t drink.”

Her mouth flashed the tiniest smile. “How shrewd of you to remember. No. I don’t. I had water, but Lloyd drank. Before we continue this discussion, you should know that I confronted him about what you said. Turns out, you were right. He admitted hiring me for the exact reasons you stated before. Stupid me, I should have seen it. But I didn’t. I assumed better of him. Harboring those salacious intentions towards me, he intended to use his symbolic position just as you said. So I suppose you shouldn’t apologize for telling me the truth. And I must admit, I might have overreacted to it. That’s because it hurt and humiliated me. But that is what Lloyd wanted from me. However, he also said I was the first assistant to actually do the job, and do it well, and now he admits that I’ve become a valuable employee. He named off all the specific problems I caught or helped find solutions to. That was enough to convince me he noticed something beyond my boob size.”

How did the smooth-talking bastard do it? Lloyd could somehow spin such a terrible habit he had into something not so bad and even manage to work in a few compliments for her. Maybe they were talking until two in the morning. Maybe not. But Chris witnessed them exiting the bar and that was hours ago. He also saw them going into an elevator. His stomach tightened at the nasty images flashing in his brain. Stop. No. No good could come from picturing what might have happened.

“Whatever. It has nothing to do with you. I guess I needed to know what others thought of me and I intend to work harder to change that perception. But whatever I do with my body and my time, outside of work, is my damn business. At work, I will remain as professional as I always am.”

“Unlike me. I regret saying what I did to you. I’m sorry, Julia.”

She glared at him, her eyes glinting in the overhead light. She sighed. “Well, I guess you earned some brownie points tonight for literally coming after me. I don’t get it though.”

He shuffled his feet, which were still in his work boots. His super-sized worn boots seemed so ridiculous next to her soft, small feet. He was no more than a gigantic lout. Not just in physical appearance, but also in his behavior. No wonder she showed no interest in him. It was all directed at Lloyd. Why shouldn’t she? He was educated, polished, well-spoken, highly regarded for his skill in financial procurement and he owned his own corporation. Julia witnessed his leadership, and the fine impression he made on the people he associated with. Chris internally laughed at himself. What could have possessed him to even think of coming there to plead his case to her just to get her to like him? She didn’t want him. Ha.

There was a knock at the door and she jumped while Chris turned with surprise towards it. Rushing forward, she glimpsed through the peephole. “Shit. It’s Lloyd.” She glanced around as if in abject panic. In desperation, she jerked her head toward the bathroom. “Hide in there. It’ll be too odd to explain why you’re here.” She shook her head. “I still can’t believe you are.”

He gaped at her. Hide? Like a common criminal? Or… or a pervert or something? Why? So what if he was there? It was their business just as much as the damn relationship between Lloyd and her. Business or otherwise, it was theirs. He stepped into the bathroom as she requested, however, and she slammed the door behind him. “Be very quiet,” she hissed. He turned and stared in the mirror before perching on the tub lip. Unfortunately, he could hear them as clear as day.

“What are you doing here?” Julia asked, her tone sounding rather annoyed. He grinned. Good. Put the old, slimy bastard in his place.

“Just checking on you. Making sure, you know, things stay okay. Between us.”

“Yeah. Just as long as you can separate the personal from what is not. No lines will be crossed, or get blurry, and then I’m fine. I can separate the two. Can you?”

“I can separate them too, no problem. I’ve never had anyone speak so articulately. I meant it when I told you, no one can do the job like you have. I’d hate to lose you for any reason. And yet it feels like years since any employee has drawn me so inexplicably as you have.”

“This is exactly what I don’t want you to say to me.”

“I get that. I quickly learned that. Julia, this is very different than—”

Chris plugged his ears. There was no other response he could do. He could not listen to another word. He hated Lloyd’s tone of voice. Because fuck. Even Chris was ready to believe him. Lloyd had become… decent. He noticed and understood the same things that Chris did about Julia. He sounded so sincere and real and convincing. He might have even meant his own bullshit because Julia was different. Maybe even Lloyd, that vapid ass, saw and felt it. Chris’s heart ached at realizing she decided to give him a chance. She was willing to surrender to him. Despite how she started and what he was after. Sounded like she did confront him though. Bully for her. Chris told her the truth and in the process, he might have inadvertently pushed her even closer to Lloyd. By confronting Lloyd, it sounded as if they got real honest with each other, real fast. Perhaps they got to a place they had never been before that conversation. The same place Chris thought they were. Unfortunately, it seemed he was the very catalyst to make it happen. He leaned forward, resting his head between his knees, sickened at the thought of it.

“Chris! What are you doing in there? Open up.”

He heard a loud knock and popped his fingers from his ears. They must have finished. He got onto his feet, feeling old, unhurried, and pretty down over the latest developments.

Opening the door, he found Julia frowning up at him. “I called you at least six times. What were you doing?”

“Plugging my ears.”

“Oh.” She frowned and turned her face away. “Do what you want with what you think is happening. Tell whomever you want. I know what this is. I’m not a dumb idiot being used by Lloyd. I’m well aware of his many faults and his womanizing history and I could see how he tried to use it on me.”

And yet, here she was. But Chris pressed his lips together to avoid saying the obvious. What needed saying and begged to be said. But… NO! He’d already hurt her the first time he crossed that line. If he did it again, he’d lose their delicate thread of friendship and that was all he had left to save. But he knew it was worth saving.

“I should let you get some sleep.”

“You should.”

Hollow and feeling empty, all hope of receiving her forgiveness vanished in a poof. Did she have sex with Lloyd? Even worse, it sounded like they were starting a damn relationship, when he’d never before known Lloyd could have a relationship.

Thirty years ago, when Lloyd first seduced his mother as well as the dozens of women since, Lloyd never meant it. He had to be running a con game, a smooth play, another version of his manipulation. He was acting sincere, contrite, and caught in the act, but he still expected to get what he wanted. Julia caught onto his act and he managed to spin it around to prove she was like no other woman, and perhaps convince her she had changed him. His stomach soured.

What a brilliant way to get what he wanted. For a sociopath.

He hated Lloyd. He should have quit. He really should have. He fisted his hands. But released them.

He wouldn’t quit. Not yet. He couldn’t know where it would lead with Julia. Or not. Maybe he should tell Lloyd his true identity. Possibly pursue something more with the man. Forget Julia altogether. Keep Julia as his friend forever then.

But somehow, Chris knew he wouldn’t do either. Not yet.

He nodded as he stepped around her to leave. She flipped over as if she were tracking him. “That’s it? You have nothing more to say?”

“No. You deserve an apology from me and you have it. I’m sorry. You also deserve to know you are very much valued by me and many others as a coworker. That is what you deserve and I took it away from you. So I hope when you come back you’ll be fine to work with me again.”

“Don’t you have any comments about Lloyd? And my being here? After all, you had a lot to say about it before.”

“No. Julia, I shouldn’t have said anything. I won’t ever again.”

Her eyebrows rose and lowered in obvious confusion. “Are we… still friends then?”

His heart lifted. “Were we before? Friends, I mean?”

“Well, yes. At least, I thought so. Didn’t you?”

He nodded, sighing with relief, joy and a bitter dose of regret. He’d been relegated to the friend zone by her. Perhaps it would stay that way for a while until after the older, predatory man used up his wealth, position and prestige to seduce her and capture her undivided attention. Her interest. Her heart’s desire.

Did nice guys always finish last? Bitterly, he wondered if this would be any different. He didn’t believe she realized that he was a nice guy. His looks threw more than a few people off and suggested a quite different impression.

They were friends.

He’d far rather hold onto that than what he had before he got there. He didn’t want her to dislike or disrespect him. Nodding, he smiled. “I did. And I do. I thought I ruined that.”

“And you came here to fix it?”

“I sure did.”

He turned to go, and stopped when she said one last time, “Chris?”

Hesitating, he glanced back at her and she approached him. The hallway was unearthly quiet. Like a church after hours or an empty library. He raised an eyebrow. “Yeah?”

“Are you sure that’s all you came for? Just to apologize?”

His heart sped up, and his breathing suspended. No. No, he also came to tell her he cared about her. He wanted to date her. But mostly, he didn’t want her to date anyone else. Specifically, Lloyd. And he wanted her to know the real reason why he didn’t want her to sleep with Lloyd Cartwright. But it was too late now.

Gruffly, he muttered, “Yeah, that’s all I came for.”

Her gaze was riveted on his. He cleared his throat.

“You’re sure? Nothing more?”

“Nothing more,” he echoed, but it was false and unconvincing. He didn’t wait for her answer but walked off. He had to be at the site tomorrow and by the time he drove home, he would not even have enough time for a catnap. It would be a long day. At least his numbed brain could zone out, and maybe his heart wouldn’t shatter from the bitter disappointment and pain.

His father’s girlfriend would return soon and he had to be better. At least he had to appear like he was coping with it. Gotten over it. Sure, no problem, easy enough. Don’t fall in… maybe not love… but like and lust, with your father’s girlfriend. Seemed so obvious. It felt, however, like a dagger was being twisted inside his heart each and every time that thought flashed through his brain.