26
T H E U N H I N G E D T R U T H
I watched you fade,
A star in the sky,
Too bright to carry on.
AN HOUR HAD PASSED IN unnerving silence.
Where was he taking us?
The question loomed and pulsed in my head, like a cobra ready to strike and inject me with the poisonous truth.
We were headed toward what I assumed was the mountains. I vaguely knew his family owned a house somewhere near Gatlinburg. It was a place they rented out year after year, drumming in income that kept Matt afloat while he continued to do nothing with his life.
I glanced over at him, arm wrapped around my throbbing side as my thoughts raced. “Matt?”
“What?” His voice was flat, but approachable.
I kept my voice calm, trying not to rouse him as my head pounded in pain. “Are you taking us to Gatlinburg?”
He looked over at me, eyebrows dipped, and then back to the road. I could tell he was coming off the high side of his emotions. Settling into a calmer state.
“What are you trying to accomplish here?” I asked, trying to feel him out.
“I thought I said no talking.”
Instinct took over my senses. I knew what he wanted deep down. I always had. Complete control. For me to bend until I broke.
I had to make him think he got me there if I wanted to gain any form of control.
“I’m sorry, Matt. I don’t want you to be upset with me.” I reached for his arm, placing my hand lightly against it.
He glanced at my hand. By the way his expression began to ease, I knew this was what he needed. Me to be apologetic. Sympathetic.
He squeezed the wheel for a moment, wringing his hands as if in indecision, and then said, “I figured if I could get you there, and we could spend some time without interruption, then you could see we could work this out.” He glanced to the backseat. “For Charlie.”
“You’re right,” I said, tucking my hair behind my ear, hoping he couldn’t hear my heart banging against my chest.
He looked at me again, searching my face for any sign of betrayal.
“I was wrong for filing the order. I never wanted to. I swear,” I added, meeting his gaze. Not giving him a smidgen of doubt.
His eyes moved back to the road.
I caught a glare of light bouncing off the window behind me from the corner of my eye. Charlie. He must be trying to contact someone. Matt was still focused on the road, trying to govern us through the rain.
“Are you taking Exit 407?” I asked, keeping my eyes on him.
He didn’t answer.
“I was thinking maybe you could take the scenic route instead.”
“407 is the fastest. We need to get out of this weather.” He leaned forward, staring up at the metal-gray sky. The clouds were moving fast, the wind still beating angry fists against the side of the sedan.
I hoped Charlie understood what to do. Hoped he knew to tell whoever he was talking to—if he was talking to someone—that we’d be taking that exit. It would help them pinpoint where we were going.
“I didn’t… I shouldn’t have hit you,” Matt said, jolting me back to reality.
The memory of his hand on my cheek stung.
In flames is where you were bred,
simmering, squirming, clawing your way out.
“It’s okay.” I rubbed my hand over the swollen parts of my face.
He looked at me again. This time, his eyes glazed over with regret. “No, really. I was wrong, Andrea. I just… I get so heated sometimes. I can’t… I can’t control it, and I know that isn’t a worthy excuse, but it’s true. I just snap.”
I chewed on the inside of my cheek and looked to my hands on my lap. Replaying the millions of times he had said this before. Every time he pushed me, he always followed up with apologies that felt so real and sincere.
“It’s like I have this button and you know just when to push it,” he continued, plunging a hand through his hair. “You don’t understand. The thought of you riding off into the sunset with our son with someone else…” He looked over at me, the longing in his eyes making my stomach turn. “I want to work this out. Maybe even try to start over.”
The thought of being with him again made me want to vomit, but I wouldn’t let him see that. I didn’t want him to return to his psychotic state.
“We can talk about it when we get where we’re going,” I assured, offering an amicable smile.
He gave one back. Touched a strand of my hair, almost reverently, as longing surfaced in his eyes.
All I had to do was keep him in that state, and I’d be able to find a way out. Maybe even find a phone to call for help. Matt was delusional and in serious need of psychiatric treatment. Of that I was sure. I just wanted to keep him from doing any more harm to Charlie. If I could—
Matt’s hand flew across my chest, jarring me in my seat.
The seconds after happened fast. A semi up ahead swerved left, then right, then jackknifed and flipped, sliding on its side down the highway.
“Charlie,” I shouted as Matt slammed on the brakes. As my heart leapt out of my chest.
The sedan hydroplaned forward. Matt jerked the wheel, trying to regain control, but he yanked too hard. We rolled over and over as I screamed for my boy.
And then the world went black.