The moment Erica and the kids walked into my house, I could tell something was different. Emma looked tense, and Ethan didn’t burst through the door asking what movie we’d watch before bed. Erica seemed to move in slow motion and was oddly friendly. Most of the time when she dropped off the kids for my nights, she practically tossed anything they needed at me and ran back out the door.

I figured there’d been an argument in the car on the way over. She probably told them they couldn’t watch a movie at my house that evening, which would explain Ethan not asking the minute he arrived. I hated when she did that, but it was the way we worked, even after the divorce. We were a unified front with our children. However, typically, Erica would launch into whatever the story was instantly. I waited for a moment, giving her a chance, but she didn’t look like she was ready to offer any directives.

“Trouble on the way over?” I took my cell from my pocket, placed it on silent, and put in on the counter. Chances were low I’d get any calls from clients, but no sense in having the phone go off if there were going to be fireworks of some sort.

“No.” She tilted her head. “Why?”

Okay, then. I knew better than to say what I’d been thinking. Instead, I turned to the kids. “There’s only a few more weeks before school starts, so I thought we’d have a late night. Maybe pick up a pizza and go to the beach, then stop off at the ice cream parlor on the way home. Sound like a plan?”

“Yes!” Ethan fist pumped the air, but Emma just smiled. Something was definitely up.

“Actually, kids, why don’t you go to your rooms and read or color or something for a little while. Give your dad and me some space.” Erica’s voice was sugary sweet. However, I didn’t hear the warning tinge of anger behind it. Which made me nervous.

Emma followed Erica’s directions instantly, but Ethan made a face. “Mom, can’t we—”

“Room, Ethan.” Her voice was firm now. “Thank you.”

Though he glared and darted an accusatory glance in my direction, he followed Emma down the hall and disappeared. After another second or so, both doors clicked shut.

I turned to Erica. “What’s wrong?” I tried to sound normal, though my nerves were jangling. Donovan and I had been careful, but not careful enough. I’d been willing to bet that Gilbert had figured out about us fairly easily, so it wasn’t a surprise when Donovan told me Gilbert had given him his blessing a few nights ago. But still, it just confirmed that we had limited time to figure out how to tell the children before our secret was out. Maybe it was too late. Somehow, Erica knew.

“Wrong? Why does anything need to be wrong?” Erica tucked a long blonde strand of hair behind her ear and walked toward the kitchen, talking over her shoulder. “We haven’t had a chance to catch up in a while. I thought it would be nice. Do you have any good wine? Champagne, maybe?”

Champagne? Okay, not what I was anticipating, unless she was planning on beating me over the head with a bottle. But that wasn’t her style. As well as I knew her, I was completely off-balance. I followed her warily. “I think there’s a Malbec in the fridge. I opened it the other night when Do—” Holy shit. I changed directions. “There might be a white in there somewhere. Maybe behind the milk.” There wasn’t, but it was the first thing I could think of. I needed to get my act together. I was a lawyer, for crying out loud. That thought helped. It was one I’d used with Erica countless times. Pretend to be in a courtroom. I wished I had on a suit.

Erica had already retrieved the Malbec and was pouring two glasses. I leaned against the far counter, making sure my back covered the knife block. She’d never shown any hint of physical violence before, but I didn’t remember the last time she’d offered me a drink, either. That wasn’t right; a memory resurfaced. She had given me a drink recently. On the night she admitted the rumors of her affair were true and that she was leaving me. That night had been wine. A Moscato if I recalled.

I took the glass she offered. “Thank you.”

She smiled, took a sip, and then leaned on the adjacent counter. She took another sip and scooted a touch closer. This was strange. Definitely strange. “So, how are you? How are things? Everything going well at the firm?”

Money, maybe this was about money. Lord knew she didn’t need any more, none of the Epsteins did, but maybe she’d gotten it into her mind that I’d received a raise and she wanted more child support. The notion actually relaxed me. Money I could deal with. Obviously she hadn’t caught wind of Donovan and me. If she’d heard that revelation, we wouldn’t be sharing wine. Money issues would be easy in comparison. I decided to just go with it. “Same old, same old. All’s good, nothing new.”

Her eyes narrowed but just for a moment, obviously not pleased that I didn’t offer more.

“Well, that’s great. I’m glad.” She took another sip, then perked up. “Maybe I’ll drive down there some evening next week. I’ll ask Donovan to watch the kids. I haven’t eaten at Saison in ages.”

“You want to go to dinner with me?” My confusion was evident, and once again I wished I had on a suit. I was doing a terrible job pretending to be a lawyer. Even if I was one.

“Of course I do.” She moved closer and ran a fingernail over my shirt, tracing my chest and my abs, pausing an inch or so above my belt. “Single life has treated you well. You haven’t had this body in at least six years.” Her gaze flicked up to mine, and I was transported back to what seemed like a lifetime ago—the night I met her at the bar. And suddenly it was perfectly clear what was going on. I just wasn’t sure why. “You’ve always been such a handsome man, Spencer.”

I grabbed her hand as her fingers dipped behind my belt, and I gently pulled it away. “What the hell is going on?”

She didn’t falter, as if she’d practice this conversation a thousand times. Knowing Erica, she probably had. “I miss you, Spencer. That’s what’s going on. And I know you miss me.”

The puzzle pieces fit. At least I was fairly certain they did. “What about—”

She didn’t let me finish. “I miss us, Spence. The way we used to be. We can get that back again.”

Yep, I had no doubt what’d happened. And for a split second, I considered being cruel. And maybe if it had been about a month ago, I’d have chosen that path. But I couldn’t really be mad at her. Couldn’t even be hurt anymore. She hadn’t meant to, but she’d answered my prayers. Just as surely as I thought she had all those years ago. And oddly or not, at that thought, I hurt for her a little bit. “Did things go badly with Cody?” If she was coming on to me, that only meant one thing. Cody had left her and not the other way around.

She flinched as she jerked her hand away. “I left him.”

I wasn’t going to argue; there was no need. “I’m sorry it didn’t work out, Erica. I’m sure you’re hurting.”

She sniffed and wiped a tear from the corner of her eye.

My God, she was actually hurting. I hadn’t seen her cry since Ethan needed emergency surgery years ago. Maybe she really had loved Cody.

“See? You’re a good man, Spencer Epstein. You even sounded like you’re genuinely concerned.” She sniffed again, but it was clear the tears were over. “I’m sorry I forgot that for a while.”

I hadn’t been expecting that. And the line hadn’t sounded rehearsed. “You want to tell me what happened? You don’t have to, but if it’ll help.”

She shook her head, but confessed anyway. “He cheated, left me for some redheaded bitch in Olema.” Her eyes flashed. “Olema, Spencer. Talk about adding insult to injury.” As if remembering her goal, Erica adjusted her tone, easily slipping back into her flirty nature. “It’s a blessing in disguise really. It got my head on straight. I admit, I’ve been a complete idiot. I had the world’s best husband and father, and I threw him away.” She stepped closer once more, her hand resting on my chest, her thumb caressing, but moving no lower. “I’ll make it up to you, Spencer, anyway you want, for as long as you want.”

I moved her hand away again. Though I kept my voice gentle, I made certain there was no tremor of question. “I’m sorry, Erica. That isn’t going to happen. We’re not getting back together.”

“But….” Her bottom lip quivered, then ceased as she changed tactics midstream. It’d taken me years to notice how practiced her manipulations were, but once I’d seen them, they were nearly embarrassingly obvious. “Our kids need their parents back together, Spencer. I’m sure you’re enjoying single life. But at this age, we need to put them first. And they need their mother and their father in one house.”

“Are you kidding with this? You’re going to lecture me about what our children need when you’re the one who had an affair and left?” She’d taken it a step too far, and I wasn’t able to keep the anger out of my voice. “Takes a lot of balls to say something like that, Erica, even for you.”

“Oh! Of course.” She flinched again, and this time her eyes flashed anger. To my surprise, though, she stuffed it away, and her voice dipped to a sultry alto. “We both know that it’s balls you need, balls and other things. Have you finally gotten a taste during our separation?”

I almost corrected her and reminded her that we were divorced, not separated, but the seductive tone she used as she spoke about my being gay weirded me out. “That is none of your business, Erica.”

She touched me again, making my skin crawl. “I won’t make a big deal out of it, Spencer. It’s the least I can do after the affair. You can be with men. We’ll have our marriage back. Just be safe and only do it down in San Francisco. I’ll still keep your secret.”

“Is it that impossible for you to be alone?” I moved away from her, though if there was ever a time in the conversation to not reveal the block of knives behind me, that was probably it. “So, what? You want us to get remarried?” I glanced toward the hallway, checking to make sure Ethan and Emma hadn’t emerged from their bedrooms, though I hadn’t heard the click of the doors. “And we make it an open marriage, until you find someone you want to leave me for again?”

Erica stayed where she was. “I don’t see what the problem is? You get the best of both worlds.”

I snorted in disgust. “I think it’s time for you to leave, Erica.”

The face she gave was one I’d seen directed at countless people during our marriage—the other women in town she didn’t like, Gilbert Bryant, and anyone who didn’t measure up to the Epstein standard, or worse, those who threatened it. It had never been directed at me until the very end. “I don’t think you understand, Spencer. I’m done keeping your secret. I held on to it for over ten years. Too long. I’ll let everyone know exactly why I had to stray. That you weren’t able to keep me satisfied because you’re gay.”

I laughed, a mixture of anger and relief. “Go ahead, Erica. At this point everyone in my office already knows. I’m dying to add Lavender Shores to the mix.”

She balked, clearly not expecting that, though I couldn’t blame her. After a second, she smiled again. “How about Daddy and Mommy Barton? I’m sure that’s something you don’t want them to know.”

She was right. I’d been dreading that conversation with them. More than almost any other thing. I knew exactly how it would go. I called her bluff, though. “They’re actually on my list to call. If you want to do it, it would save me a chore.”

Erica stared at me, maybe wondering where the man she’d known for so long had gone. It was a fair question. Knowing lit behind her eyes. In addition to being beautiful, Erica was smart; she always had been. It was part of the reason I’d fallen in love with her at the beginning. She really was the entire package. It had just taken me too long to see how mean she was to everyone else but me and a few select members of her family. Not that we weren’t doomed from the beginning anyway. “You’re already dating someone, aren’t you?” She took a step forward, eyes narrowed once more. “Someone here?”

I was certain she didn’t care, not really, but maybe somehow me dating a man in Lavender Shores would embarrass her. Actually, that’s exactly what it would be. At least after Cody left her. She couldn’t keep a man, and her ex-husband could. That wouldn’t look good at all. A billion thoughts shuffled through my mind—lying to her, refusing to answer the question. Donovan and I had been talking about the best way to go about this, the way to break the news to her and then to the kids. We’d decided it would be best to do it as a family, the three adults, or at that time four, presenting it together. This wasn’t even close to what Donovan and I had considered. But the time was right, and even if it wasn’t right, I just wanted it over. “Yes, Erica, I am dating someone. Someone here.”

Her glare burned. “Who?”

I changed my mind. This would hurt a little. Maybe a lot. Especially in the state she was in, having just been left by Cody. I knew she wouldn’t be hurt by me, though she wouldn’t like having her plans crumble. But she did love Donovan. When she’d been with Cody, it might’ve been little more than a hiccup, at least after a day or two. But now?

“Let’s not do this, Erica. Not tonight. We’re both stressed, things are a little strange. You’re upset over Cody, which you have every right to be. Let’s stick a pin in this, and I promise I won’t make any more announcements to anyone until you and I have had a chance to sit down when you’re ready.”

Again, Erica showed just how smart and intuitive she truly was. She would’ve made a cutthroat lawyer. In addition to her anger, she sounded nervous. “Who is it, Spence? Obviously this isn’t going to be good.”

“No, you won’t love it.” I softened my voice as much as I could, tried to make it sound soothing. “Tomorrow, when we’re both calm. I promise I will sit down and talk about it then, no matter what.” That would at least give me a chance to talk to Donovan first

She glanced toward the hallway as well, then back at me. “Who. The. Fuck. Is. It?”

“Tomorrow, Erica. We’ll talk about it tomorrow.”

“If you—”

My phone buzzed, vibrating across the butcher block counter.

Erica acted quicker than I did, she scooped it up as I reached for it, some of the wine spilling from her glass at her sudden movement.

Her expression was all the confirmation I needed. Fury morphed to confusion, then blazed right back into fury. She read from the screen with gritted teeth. “I love missing you.” She glared at me, holding the phone toward me in accusation. “Why is my brother loving missing you, Spencer?”

Shit.

She slammed the phone down on the counter, hard enough the screen cracked. Her beautiful face twisted like I’d never seen before. So she really hadn’t known, hadn’t realized. Part of me had wondered if she’d suspected how I’d felt through the years. “Donovan? Are you kidding me? Are you fucking kidding me? You and my brother?” She took a step forward, then halted. “How long?” Hurt washed over her. “How long, Spencer? Our whole fucking marriage?”

“No, Erica! No, I promise.” I reached out to her, stupidly, and she jerked away. “About a month, that’s it. Since—” I had to think back. “—Pride. Since Pride this year. The end of June.”

Erica shook her head again, as if trying to clear away the fog.

“I’m sorry, Erica. I would never do anything to hurt you. Not intentionally. We’ve been trying to figure out how to tell you in a way that wouldn’t hurt.”

She scoffed. “Oh, I’m so sure. Because there’s a way to tell me that isn’t going to hurt.” She glared, and her lips turned into a sneer. “I hate you.” She tossed the wineglass toward the sink and it shattered. Neither of us looked. “I’m getting the kids and leaving. Fuck you.”

I froze. Not sure what to do.

She headed toward the hallway.

My brain kicked in. I could just hear the things she would say to the kids on the drive back to the house. Probably all night long. We’d always been great parents together, but in that moment, I knew those days were over. I rushed around her and stood in the doorway. “You’re not taking the kids when you’re this angry.”

She shoved my chest, her voice thankfully dipping to a warning hiss instead of a scream. “Get out of my way. You’re not keeping me from my children.”

“They don’t need to see you this angry. You’re welcome to stay here as long as you want, but you’re not taking them on your own.”

“Try and stop me. I’ll call my lawyer.” She pushed again.

“It’s my night, and I am a lawyer.”

A third push, harder this time. “I said you are not keeping me from my children, you stupid faggot.”

It was like she’d slapped me. Or more like she’d slapped herself. Her eyes grew wide, and she stumbled back, covering her mouth.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say that.” Tears filled her eyes. She wiped them away, but they didn’t stop. “I’m sorry, sorry. I didn’t mean that. I’m sorry.” She was slipping into a panic.

“It’s okay. Breathe.” I’d seen Erica be cruel to countless people over the years. But never about their sexuality. Ever. In that sense, she was a Lavender Shores native through and through. And most of the people she loved the most were gay. Her uncles were gay, her favorite cousin, and two of her brothers, of which Donovan was her favorite. Or at least had been. “I know you didn’t mean that, Erica. Believe me, I do. And I will never tell anyone that word left your lips. I swear.”

Her gaze flicked over my shoulder toward the hallway.

“You weren’t yelling. They didn’t hear.” I let go of her, and we both stood there, studying each other.

After several moments she nodded and wiped her eyes again. Her voice trembled when she spoke. “Do the kids know? Have they been keeping it a secret?”

“No, of course not.”

“Okay.” She turned, walked through the living room, and headed toward the door, swiping up her purse where she’d set it on the floor. She paused and looked back as her hand grasped the knob, tears finally falling. “Don’t tell them. Give me time.”

“Okay.”

Then she was gone. I checked to make sure Emma’s and Ethan’s doors were still closed, and I called Donovan.