Chapter Ten
Over the next sennight, the storm that had crashed down upon them like an angry siege from the gods swiftly morphed into a relentless snowstorm, preventing Maggie from wandering into the woods to forage for food or practice daggers. The first few days, she had kept her distance from Flynn, forcing him to stay abed while he instructed her on her dagger throwing stance and technique. She was getting much better and a glow of pride had begun to emanate from her.
It had been hard to stay away from Flynn after the incredible experience they had shared. Every night, she longed to feel his body over hers again. He had consumed her inside and out, showing her more pleasure than she ever thought could exist between a man and a woman. In truth, she had only fallen more in love with him during those intimate moments. If she had not seen that fleeting look of regret in his eyes just after he rolled off her aching, sweaty body, she likely would have asked for more. She had seen it, however, and there had been no doubt in Maggie’s mind that Flynn had wondered what sort of mistake he had made in bedding her.
Suddenly, the best moment of her life had turned into the most humiliating. She could not stand being a regret to Flynn. The need to flee had caused her to bound out of the bed, but with naught available but a woolen blanket, she had no choice but to retire to her bed. Flynn had told her he could give her naught but that moment, and she had accepted that. To do so, however, she had had to leave before she begged him to show her the other ways he could touch her.
If she was to prevent herself from hoping for more with Flynn Mac Greine, her best chance had been to leave his bed and move on with life, carrying the memory of his touch with her always. It was too late. She harbored such a deep want for more with Flynn that her heart ached in her chest simply from looking at him, which she was forced to do all day, every day, due to this blasted snowstorm.
Food was scarce, and they had survived on what little dried meat, fruit, and grains remained in the wicker storage baskets in the home. The hearth fire burned every hour of the day, not only supplying warmth, but its smoke helped to dry and preserve their foods. Snow had been collected in the bucket and warmed in the cauldron over the hearth, usually supplying them with clean enough water. But porridge and dried boar meat were beginning to churn her stomach. She longed for a chunk of fresh baked bread and a cup of mead.
Two days before, Flynn had refused to stay in bed any longer, claiming his wound no longer bothered him. Maggie did not believe the man, but decided she would likely go mad being stuck in bed every day, as well. He was a man used to wilderness and travel. Surely, he could wander safely about the hut.
If she had harbored any hope for a future with Flynn, those hopes died at the casual way he spoke to her, as if nothing had ever happened between them. Perhaps she was just another lass he had bedded. She had practically begged him to take her. There was a very real chance that he had simply been accepting what she was offering. He had said he wanted her and cared for her deeply, and she believed that to be true, but as he shared more stories of his travels, the sparkle in his eye let her know that his love of adventure would rise above his love for any lass.
He spoke of the war between Tuathal and Elim, and how his family had helped win the High Throne of Ériu for their king. He spoke of his mother, her sisters, and the legend surrounding his family, particularly the one about a faery they all descended from. Faery blood, magical and legendary blood, ran through his veins. The blood of kings and gods. His entire life was one long adventure filled with excitement and she could see he thrived off his travels. It was ingrained into his blood. How had she ever hoped to turn a man with so much passion for adventure into a man who stayed in one place with a wife? She had been a foolish lass and berated herself for ever harboring any hopes where Flynn Mac Greine was concerned. This time together was just another story he would one day tell, if she was even worthy of his memories.
As shameful as she felt, she was desperate for his touch. She would never beg him to bed her again. She had asked for one night with him, and she had received it. Life moved on and yet, watching him move about their wee hut, usually without his tunic on, made it hard for her to concentrate on her practice. It was especially difficult when he came over to put his hands on her, positioning her legs or shifting her hips to improve her aim.
“You have grown quite good at dagger throwing,” Flynn nodded, his devastating smile widening beneath a stubbly beard. “I was not well enough before, but ‘tis time I showed you how to defend yourself against an enemy. Should a man come upon you, you must know how to do more than throw a dagger.”
His hands came down on her shoulders hard and his face grew serious. Widening her eyes, it took her a moment to realize he was suddenly playing the role of an assailant. Heart pounding in her chest, she froze, not sure what to do to protect herself. He kicked her legs out from beneath her, and before she knew it, she was on her back with his weight bearing down on her.
True coward that she was, Maggie covered her face with her arms and stiffened beneath him. She knew Flynn was only doing a demonstration to show her how very quickly a man could have her on her back, but the reality of just how easily she had given in, and how very little she knew about defending herself, shook her to the core.
A sob climbed up her throat as tears prickled her eyes. She had been so confident here in this hut with Flynn, throwing daggers at immobile objects. But in truth, if a man came at her, she would be helpless. That thought destroyed all the confidence she had worked so hard to achieve over the last fortnight with Flynn. He had been too sore to do more than guide her in daggers before but now, even in his weakened state, he had tossed her to the ground as if she were naught but a sack of grain.
“Och, Mags. Do not cry.” Flynn got off her and helped her to her feet, wiping a tear away from her lashes. “I did not mean to frighten you, only to demonstrate how swiftly a man can attack. I am sorry, lass.” Hurt and regret crossed his face and she knew he was disappointed in her fear of him, after all they had shared.
She shook her head and sniffled. “Nay. I was not afraid of you, Flynn. I trust you. ‘Tis only that I had been feeling so brave and proud of my dagger skills that I had not realized how very vulnerable I am to a physical attack. It shook me, is all.” She sniffled again and wrapped her arms across her chest to stave off the sudden chill.
“’Tis why I did that. I want you to be prepared. I promised I would teach you to protect yourself, to trust a man’s touch…” he paused, and she wondered if he was thinking of their night together. She wondered if he thought of it ever, for he seemed to never give it a second thought. “But I need to also teach you to defend yourself against an attack. I have failed you in this regard and I wish to work on self-defense next.”
Something akin to rebellion rose in Maggie, boiling in her blood. She knew Flynn meant well, but it suddenly struck her that she was little more than an obligation to him, perhaps a challenge to boost his ego and make him feel like her savior. How she wished to take his ego down a notch. Aye, Flynn was all those things to her and more, but the thought that he knew it rankled.
Straightening her shoulders and narrowing her eyes, she tapped her foot in irritation. “I am nay more than a project to you, am I? You are trapped in this hut with me and feel somehow indebted for my aid, so you are trying to fix me? You will teach me to throw daggers, protect myself against an attack, teach me to bed a man…” Her voice trailed off, feeling a war between defeat and resentment raging in her mind. “Then you will be done with me and move on with your life feeling like a better man. You were unable to finish your mission, so in your infinite pride, you have turned saving me into a mission while you heal!”
His beautiful green eyes widened at her sudden accusation and his strong jaw locked in irritation. He opened his mouth to speak, then closed it again, considering his words carefully. “’Tis all I can offer you, Maggie. You know that.”
“Och! I do know! And how arrogant are you for thinking I wish for more!” she roared, and shoved him back. Her small palms rested on his bare chest and she resisted the urge to run her fingers through the dark hair spattering across his darkened skin. “I got what I wanted from you, Flynn Mac Greine! So, do not feel so sure of yourself!” She shoved him back once more and he remained silent, taking her abuse with stony silence.
“Have you naught to say? You are content with what is to be? Your brother shall arrive and you will go on with your life, our time together nothing more than a distant shadow in the back of your mind? You will forget it was I who saved your life with my own skills, giving up my own life to save yours? Instead, you shall replace that truth with your own arrogant memories of how you helped me?” She shoved him once more, but this time, his hands came up swiftly to grip her small wrists tightly, thwarting her next attack.
“What do you want from me, Maggie?” Flynn asked through gritted teeth, tightening his grip on her wrists and giving her a mild shake. “I have been nothing but honest with you from the start!”
She chortled and tilted her head back in mock laughter. “Och, that you have been. You have made it clear enough that your position with the king is more important than aught else in your life.” Without warning, her knee came up to his groin in a feigned attack, making him grunt with surprise as he released her wrists, bending over to protect his nether region from a true attack. With him caught unaware, she kicked his legs from beneath him, watching as a man almost twice her size tumbled to the floor, utter shock and awe written across his every feature.
With a triumphant smile, Maggie leaned over his prone body with her hands on her hips. “Did I do well enough protecting myself, Flynn? Had you been a true threat, I would have kneed you so hard, you would be retching in pain at my feet. So, you see, I need nay help from you to protect my—”
“Is that so?” A feral grin spread across his face as he reached out with lightning-quick reflexes to grip her arms, pulling her down hard against his body. A thrill ran through her as she crashed down onto him, feeling his muscled body beneath her soft one. They seemed to fit together like cream and honey. Separate, they were well enough, but together, they seemed to melt as one, never knowing where one ended and the other began. Her mind reeled as his hot breath fanned across her neck and his hands gripped her waist harder. She felt the rise of his desire and had to catch her breath as her heart threatened to beat out of her chest.
“Very clever, lass,” he murmured. “You did very well.” His lids were hooded with lust and their mouths were so close, she could almost taste him. How had they suddenly ended up in this position? And why was she desperate for more? “You are beautiful when you are angry. I like that side of you.”
“Do you?” she purred, unable to resist the urge to push her hips into his, increasing the pressure of his stiff manhood against her core. He growled lowly in his throat and she melted further against him. How badly she wanted him again. Only a few thin layers of fabric lay between them. “I have a lifetime’s worth of angry. I can gladly share it with you.” She sighed, and he pushed himself harder against her, using his large hands braced on her hips as leverage.
Their lips connected in a fierce battle, teeth clashing and tongues urgently seeking each other. Gods, she wanted him, at least once more before they were separated forever. Was that so much to ask?
Moving her hand between their bodies, she sought out his hardness and reveled in her power over his body when he groaned at her contact. “Maggie,” he whispered as his hand found its way beneath her dress and immediately cupped her woman’s heat. She jerked at first contact, then felt a fire brew within her core. She loved this man. She loved him so much that she ached for a life they could never have and yet, she could never tell him of her feelings. He was not meant to be hers. If all she had was this fleeting moment, she would take it and cherish it with all she was, memorizing the earthy scent of his skin, the hard silk of his muscles, and the feel of his heart beating wildly against her own.
“Maggie,” he repeated, “I need to tell you that I—”
The door flew open with a crash, causing Maggie to scream in terror and struggle to climb off Flynn’s body, but he held her closely, suddenly sitting up as he wrapped himself protectively around her smaller body.
“What are you doing with my sister?” Maggie gasped, and clutched her heart as her brother stormed into the room.
“Àdhamh!” She tried to run to him, but Flynn continued to hold her captive in his grip. She furrowed her brow and frowned at him, wondering why he would not release her to the comfort of her own brother.
Àdhamh’s angry gaze shifted from Flynn to Maggie, and her eyes widened in shock. She had never seen him look at her with such fury. Suddenly, she was glad to be in Flynn’s arms, and cuddled closer to him for comfort.
Snow flurried inside the once-warm hut, sending a chill over her body. Brennain stood behind Àdhamh, arms crossed and an unmistakably amused look across his face.
“You… Och! Maggie!” Àdhamh stormed closer to her, ripping her from Flynn’s grip painfully, and she hollered out in pain.
Flynn got to his feet and snarled like a wolf at Maggie’s brother, his words spoken with a coldness that even made her shiver. “Do not ever touch her that way again. I care not if you are her brother. Nay man shall ever make her yelp in pain again.” His fists balled at his side, and Maggie looked between her brother and Flynn, fearful they would start to brawl.
Àdhamh’s anger visibly melted, but only slightly, as he regarded Maggie and released her arm. “I am sorry, Maggie. You know I would never hurt you.” She nodded and stepped toward him. She loved her brother. He was all things kind and gentle… on most occasions. Then his eyes widened, and he looked back at Flynn with shock. “You have told him? He knows of your… past?”
She nodded and looked up at Flynn, feeling so much trust and love for the man, and a strong sense of wonder that he should feel so protective of her.
She snapped out of the moment when Àdhamh began to shout at her again, causing her to flinch. He recited every curse word in their language for a solid minute, before roaring out his anger at her. “You… you cannot do that! You left the village without telling me! I have been worried out of my cursed mind, wondering where my sister was and how she fared! I am so angry with you, Maggie! How could you do that to me?”
She gulped and felt sudden shame wash over her. She had been in such a rush to save Flynn’s life, she had had no time to think about her brother’s feelings. “Did not the king tell you where I was off to?” she whispered.
“Aye! He told me my wee innocent sister had climbed on the back of a horse with one Mac Greine brother to ride into the middle of nowhere to save the other Mac Greine brother… and would likely not return for over a fortnight!” He was seething now, and she felt herself on the edge of tears as her body began to quake. How had she been so selfish as to not even spare him a moment for a farewell?
“I am sorry, Àdhamh. I was not thinking about anything beyond my duties as a healer. I had a life to save…”
“Nay.” Flynn stepped forward and put himself between her and her brother. “Do not dare to make Mags feel bad for doing the one thing she does best in this world. She is a healer unlike any other. She is selfless and would go to any length to save a life. Do not dare to turn her strength into a failing.”
“Mags?” Àdhamh repeated incredulously. “Since when do you call my sister by a name so familiar as ‘Mags’? And how dare you speak to me about my own sister! Och, I know she is a wee beauty. What I do not know is what you have been doing with her in this hut for over a fortnight! And I will kill you for what I did see when I opened that door!”
“Àdhamh!” Maggie hollered, but he continued as if she was no longer present.
Àdhamh looked Flynn’s bare chest up and down with disgust. “I care not who you are, or how powerful your family is! You walk around half naked around my wee sister? You are dishonorable! Have you touched my sister?”
“Àdhamh!” Maggie shouted again before Flynn could answer. “He was shot with an arrow in his side! He could not very well wear a tunic, now could he? He spent most of his days abed in recovery!”
“He looks well recovered now! Especially when he lay beneath you, doing… what was he doing?” her brother roared.
“He was teaching me to defend myself! Something you never took the time to do for me!” she roared back.
That silenced her brother, mayhap too well. His face went ashen and his mouth snapped shut as his body stiffened. “I… I…” he croaked, stumbling on his words. “I was always there to protect you. I knew you had had enough violence in one lifetime. I only ever meant to shield you from that pain, to protect you. I thought teaching you to protect yourself would only bring up more bad memories… Och.” Àdhamh ran a flustered hand through his long blond hair. “I am sorry, Maggie. I failed you.”
“Àdhamh. You have not failed me. You did what you thought was best for me. In truth, I was not prepared to learn such skills… until Flynn.” She looked over her shoulder and locked eyes with Flynn. He gave her a soft smile and stepped up beside her in support. “I never asked you to help me. I was too scared of my past to worry about my present or my future. I never trusted another man, until I met both Brennain and Flynn. They are honorable men, Àdhamh. I trust them both. Have you any idea how powerful it has been for me to learn to trust other men, and to have one of them take the time to teach me to protect myself? I can hunt now and throw daggers. And what you just witnessed as you came in was my successful attempt to throw a grown man to the ground!”
She beamed with pride. It was true. She had truly come a long way and had not even noticed until this moment. And, she owed it all to Flynn.
Narrowing his eyes, Àdhamh looked suspiciously at Flynn. “I am quite certain I saw more between you and Maggie just now than a self-defense lesson.”
Flynn began to answer, but Maggie spoke up first. “Nay. There is nothing more between Flynn and me. I treated his wound and in the meantime, he taught me a few other skills.” Her cheeks flushed at the thought of exactly which skills he had taught her. “We have simply been awaiting Brennain’s return so Flynn could continue his mission for the king. I suppose it is just as well that you have arrived. Now you can take me home with you.”
Even as she said the words, her heart shattered to pieces. She had not been prepared to leave Flynn so abruptly, and facing a future without his daily presence suddenly seemed bleak, filling her with despair.
Maggie refused to turn around. Looking at Flynn would only hurt more. What would she see in his eyes if she dared look? Would he be pained to separate from her, or would she see relief that he was finally getting back to his life of service to King Tuathal? Either way, it would not matter. They had their time, and it was over. Her heart ached with the need for more, but it also soared for all she had achieved. She had learned to trust a man, to love him and make love to him. Those were three achievements she never thought to accomplish in her life, and though losing him was the most pain she had ever felt, she also had to use her new strength to overcome her circumstances. She would never be with another man, but she would have her memories with Flynn.
“Why are you with Brennain, anyway, Àdhamh?” Flynn questioned as he looked between her brother and his own. “I thought you were to come straight here if you learned anything important. Did you find Mal’s camp, then?”
Brennain had been silent, smugly watching the tension between Flynn and Àdhamh while he leaned against the wall. Now, he stepped forward and his smirk turned into a serious line. “Aye, I found it, and I spent almost a fortnight there, earning their respect and trust until I was able to learn more of Mal’s plans. What I learned, however, was that Mal meant to kidnap his daughter back from Ráth Mór, by any means necessary. Forgive me for not coming here straight away, brother, but I felt it was necessary to let Tuathal and Àdhamh know of Mal’s plan.”
“Elwynna?” Maggie gasped, clutching her heart. Her sweet sister by marriage had been misused terribly by her father. Fleeing to Ráth Mór and meeting Àdhamh had changed her life, but her father apparently was not ready to give her up.
“Aye,” Àdhamh growled. “My wife has been through enough. I will not let him near her. But then Brennain informed me that he had to travel back here to collect Flynn… and I knew I had to come with him to make sure my sister was well. I would have come sooner, only I had nay idea where this hut was located, since you simply took off without speaking to me.”
Maggie took a deep, steadying breath. Her brother only had two lassies he cared for in this world, and now both had inadvertently caused him grief. “I am sorry, Àdhamh. I wish to get back to Elwynna. I assume you will go to Mal’s camp with the men?”
She felt Flynn’s gentle touch on the small of her back and she hesitated to look back at him. She did not know what his touch meant, but she had to steel herself against any onslaught of emotion for the man. Their time here was done. It took all her strength, but she kept her eyes determinedly on her brother.
“Aye. We shall all escort you back to Ráth Mór, then we will head to their camp with an army of men,” Brennain answered. “I was able to gather information and sneak away without being seen. Even if they suspect I was Tuathal’s man and move, I know enough to know where they will travel.” His gaze moved to Flynn’s and he flashed an arrogant smile. “Are you proud of me, brother?”
Flynn scoffed in a way that only a brother would at his own sibling’s boasting. “Aye, that I am, and most glad you did not get yourself killed.”
“Never,” Brennain said with a smile.
“All right, Maggie. We need to be off,” her brother said, changing the subject. “The snow has stopped for now, but there is plenty to contend with and it will slow our travels. Elwynna is distraught that her father is bringing more trouble to our tribe, though ‘tis nay fault of her own. I wish to be there to comfort her, as I would have had my sister not run off…”
“Had your sister not run off, I may be dead,” Flynn said in her defense. The edge in his voice finally made her resolve to ignore him wane. Looking over her shoulder, his burning gaze on her made a chill run up her spine and she looked away again quickly, before he could see her embarrassing flush. She would never be able to resist a blush when he looked at her that way. But after today, that would not be possible, for they would be separated again.
“Need you time to gather your things?” Àdhamh ignored Flynn’s barb and directed his question at Maggie.
“All I have are the clothes on my back, my cloak, and my satchel,” she pointed to the leather sack over by her bed. “I suppose we may depart anytime. I should pack rations. I do not have much, but nay sense leaving any behind.”
“I am glad to see you at least had your own bed in this hut. I can only hope you truly used it.”
“Àdhamh! ‘Tis enough of that now!” she scolded. She walked over to the bed, grabbed her cloak, and clasped it around her neck before slinging her satchel over her shoulder. “Let us quit this place.”
If her brother saw through her false desire to go back to reality, he was kind enough not to comment on it.