Chapter Eight
The house rang with familiar laughter. Smoke billowed out the top of the pointy thatched roof and Aislin smiled wildly before even opening the door to her family’s house. The heat and light from the hearth hit her in the face, as did the loud voices of her entire family. Even all her aunts, uncles, and cousins were in attendance.
“Lin!” they hollered joyously.
“You are late!” her cousin Alyson smiled as she held one of her wee twin daughters in her arms. Freyne held the other and looked at his wife with intense love in his eyes. Freyne had been in love with Alyson before she ever knew of his existence, and his devotion to her cousin always warmed Aislin’s heart.
“We are glad you are here,” Leannan said, walking up to Aislin and giving her a hug. “Greetings, Alastar,” she added.
He smiled and waved but was immediately handed a full mug of ale and dragged away into the corner with all the men. Brennain pounded him on the back as Flynn and Tuathal raised their drinks in salute.
“Nice tunic,” Eoin laughed as Alastar walked past him. Aislin’s eyes grew wide and she felt embarrassment wash over her. She hoped her family did not give him… or her, a hard time about her lack of sewing skills.
“Thanks, mate.” Alastar looked over his shoulder and gave her a wink. “Tis my favorite.”
Aislin felt her wall of resistance cracking more and more with every smile and word out of Alastar’s beautiful mouth. She walked over to her mother and aunts, giving them all hugs and smelling the stew. Her mother’s stew never disappointed and Aislin wished she had tried to pay better attention.
“How is marriage?” Alyson asked, swaying her hips to keep her daughter calm and content. Treasa looked at her silently and smiled mischievously. Aislin rolled her eyes and looked back at Alyson.
Thinking back on the evening she and Alastar had had so far, she smiled and felt a real excitement running through her body. “Our marriage is going quite well, thank you.” She knew that answer sounded vague and was not at all what her cousin had hoped to fish out of her, but it was all she could give… or all she was willing to give.
They had truly bonded more on this night than every other night combined. It had taken so long for her to decide to give a little of her own time, of her own self, but once she had the reward was immeasurable. There had been a point where she thought Alastar was going to confess his love for her. It had thrilled and terrified her all at the same time. In the end, he had not. Of course not. How could he love a lass who had distanced herself so much both physically and emotionally?
Though they seldom spoke at home, their time together with her family made everything feel more real than she had wanted it to feel. It was a good thing he did not love her, she decided. She did not love him, and she did not want to give him hope that this arrangement would continue longer than necessary. She thought she could continue to be in his presence and not let her guard down, but with every look and every touch, she felt herself slipping a little further in the wrong direction.
It was enthralling and terrifying all at the same time, and it was becoming more tedious every day to convince herself not to care for him or desire him.
Their evening flew by, full of laughter, stew that was edible, and lots of ale and mead. Alastar had, as usual, pulled her onto his lap at some point where she found herself more than willing to remain. Mayhap it was from all the extra drink she had consumed, or mayhap it was the faded blue tunic with new green stitching that he wore so proudly, or the way he placed his hand on her thigh just before he leaned in to give her the most tender kiss he had yet to give her. Aislin could not identify what was causing the ache in her heart or the throbbing of her core, but she found herself relishing her position on his lap and wishing for so much more.
Branwen, who had accompanied them, was making quick friends of her family while enjoying the scraps of meat her Uncle Liam continued to feed her under the table when her Auntie Gwynn was not looking. It felt real… but it was not real, and she had to keep reminding herself of that fact. Once they arrived home, would they go back to their separate beds as usual? Somehow that thought made her heart deflate. She still had no answer about why Alastar had been going down to the lake, staying so late, and arriving wet every night, or who he spent his time with while there. She let that question ground her, reminding her that she truly knew nothing about her husband and could not risk getting too close.
As they said their farewells for the night, Alastar helped wrap Aislin up in her long dark blue cloak lined with animal fur, before taking her hand and leading her out. To her surprise, even after they were out of view, he continued to clutch her hand firmly with his. The fresh snow crunched beneath her feet and her breath came out in mystical wisps as they walked in silence.
The night was peaceful, and she had been so focused on the silence, she had not realized right away that he was taking her somewhere other than their home.
“Where are we going?” she asked, Branwen trailing beside her quietly.
“I have a surprise for you,” he grinned down at her and squeezed her hand even tighter. His excitement was palpable, and her eyes widened with shock.
“What? Another? Was gifting me with a fully-trained wolfhound not gift enough for one day?”
Alastar scoffed playfully. “For my bonny wee wife? Nay. I should be giving you a new gift every day.”
“Then I would just be a spoiled wife and you know I do not wish that,” Aislin replied playfully. “I prefer fewer gifts, so when I receive them, they are truly special.” She meant it too. To have him surprise her with two gifts in one day was a true wonderment and excitement ran through her as she allowed him to guide her away from their home and into the forest.
“My gift is there?” she pointed to the dark wall of trees looming ahead. A full moon hung high in the sky and the snow beneath their feet seemed to glow blue all around them as mist hung in the thick winter air.
“Aye,” was all he said as he guided her deeper through the thick foliage and around to the opposite side of the lake that she normally bathed in. She wondered what he could possibly have to give her on the other side of the lake. She also prayed to all the gods that no wolves, boars, or other predators decided they were in need of a meal. Having a wolfhound by her side did indeed make her feel more at ease. Branwen would alert them of danger before they ever detected it themselves.
“I had meant to show you this during daylight hours, but it just feels right to show you tonight,” he explained as they stepped into a clearing near the lake. There was a wide-open space with trees along the border and as Aislin squinted into the darkness, she noticed unnaturally shaped circular objects attached to the trunks of several trees, some closer and some further away.
“What?” Aislin detached her hand from Alastar’s and he smiled with delight as he watched her try to figure out what she was staring at. Squinting, she took a few steps closer, coming face to face with a circular piece of wood painted with red and white circles and a red center. “Targets?” she asked and looked over her shoulder at her husband. “You made these?”
He stepped forward tentatively and nodded. “I have been coming out here by the lake every night. I chopped the wood, sanded it down, painted them, and hung them all around at different distances so you can come out here and practice. I intentionally chose to do it on this side of the lake, further away from the village so nobody, but myself of course, would know where to locate you. You can have your privacy and practice with your bow as much as you wish. And, I want to give you this,” he murmured as he pulled a short dagger from his leather belt. The handle was intricately carved, the details even noticeable in the dim moon light.
“Is this not Àdhamh’s dagger?” she asked, delicately running her fingers over the carved designs on the handle.
His eyes flashed with something she would have thought to be panic, only there was no reason for him to show such an emotion and it disappeared so fast, she decided it must have been a trick of the moon light. “It was his, aye. He gave it to me,” he said with a forced calm and his eyes shifted to the right slightly before landing back on hers. “I thought you could also practice throwing daggers, if you wish.”
He was acting strange, but he was likely nervous that she would reject his gifts, just as she had rejected him since the day they said their handfast vows. She wanted to ask why Àdhamh would give up such a lovely weapon but decided she should forget all the questions in her mind and simply enjoy this moment. Her heart beat in overtime. Her breath caught in her chest and she found it hard to swallow through the constricting of her throat.
“Aislin,” he whispered as he stepped closer and grabbed both of her hands in his. “This is meant to be more than just a place to practice. It’s a physical reminder of my promise to you. I want you to always know I support your love for privacy, independence, and your bow. I will never try to change who you are. I will only ever support you.”
Overwhelming gratitude and relief washed over her. He had not been meeting with another woman all this time. He had been out here in the cold dark night working on this special place just for her, to show his promise and keep his vow. Guilt sliced through her at that thought. She had kept herself so distant, refusing to open to him, insisting she would leave him in nine moons time… and he had been making her targets and training her a wolfhound.
A stifled sob escaped her throat and she launched herself at him, throwing her arms around his neck and burying her face into his neck. He smelled of pine needles, just like the trees that surrounded him. All this time, when she thought he smelled of pine, it was because he had been out here building her a sanctuary. “Thank you, Alastar,” she murmured into his hair, inhaling his musky scent. He was so strong, tall, brave, generous, kind, affable, tender… and what was she? Stubborn. Prideful. Unyieldingly closed off. No more. This man who now held her tightly against his chest, accepting her sudden embrace willingly, deserved so much more than she had given him.
“You like it?” she heard him murmur into her hair.
“Oh, Alastar. ‘Tis the kindest, most thoughtful gift you could have ever given me.” She choked back a tear, but chuckled just as Branwen barked at her as if insulted by her comment. “Of course, Branwen was also the most amazing gift,” she laughed as she continued to cling to him.
Just an hour ago, she had convinced herself to keep her distance, insisting she did not know him well enough, believing he had been meeting up with another lass. How very wrong she had been on all accounts. She may not know much about the man’s past, but how was that his fault when she had never opened up to him? Never given him a chance to share with her? It would take a fool not to see what a quality man her new husband was.
In that moment it was clear to her what she truly wanted. She wanted Alastar. Mayhap she truly could have it all. With him as her partner in life, he offered her companionship, laughter, affection, perhaps even love someday. Also, he offered her all the freedom to remain the woman she had always wished to be. She vowed to do better, and to be better. She would spend her days in the forest training and hunting, but she would make certain to be home a bit earlier to make his meals, learn how to mend his tunics… even learn how to use a loom to create fabrics for garments. He deserved all those things.
Pulling back slightly from his hold, she stared at him, knowing a small tear trickled aimlessly down her cheek and knowing he would see her raw vulnerability. Her old self would care, would see it as a weakness to cry, but these tears were tears of shame for her treatment of him and tears of awe for how deserving he was of this open emotion.
“Lin…” he whispered and released her with one hand to wipe away her tear.
She shook her head and sniffled. “I have been terrible to you.”
“That is not true. You have been evasive, aye. But never terrible.” He wiped away another tear. “I know you never wanted this arrangement. I cannot blame you for keeping your distance.”
“Nay. I have been unfair. I truly wish to start over again, if you will allow me. I wish to try harder to be deserving of you,”
“Och… Lin. You are des—”
She pushed her lips against his, cutting off any retort he may have had. He was much too kind. He could spend all night telling her that she had not been terrible, but she certainly had not been wonderful, either.
This was her first time kissing him. He groaned and wrapped his arms around her, securing her tightly to his body. She could feel his breath quicken, and feel his length hardening. To think she had avoided physical affection for fear of losing control. In this moment, she had all the control. Every groan he let loose into her mouth as she wrapped her tongue desperately around his. Every time his chest rose and fell, rubbing against the suddenly oversensitive breasts beneath her clothing. This was a power unlike anything she had ever felt, and she found it consuming her every sense.
They were alone in the middle of the night surrounded by nothing but nature and it all felt so wonderfully right. The cold wind whipped around them, sending her hair flying in all directions, but it did nothing to cool her suddenly overheated flesh. She ached desperately. Fighting it had done her no good. She was done fighting something that nature so clearly created her body for. It was as if her hips were desperate to push into his, to feel his manhood pressing between her thighs.
“I want you, Alastar,” she boldly whispered in between hot, wet kisses, allowing her hands to drift under the hem of his tunic and memorize the feel of his war-hardened muscles beneath her palm. Finding his nipple, she twisted it slightly and he groaned, instinctively thrusting into her. Then he pulled away, breathing heavily.
“Lin. I want you more than you can possibly know. I have dreamed of laying you down on this very spot more times than I can even recall… but you do not need to do this if you are not ready. I do not require a reward for my gifts.”
“I want to do this,” she insisted, fumbling with the ties on his trousers. “Not as payment for your kindness, but because I am a woman and you are a man. My husband. And I want you,” she insisted. “I want a true marriage,” she added quietly.
He groaned as her small hand reached beneath his trousers and made contact with his hard rod of flesh. By all the gods. It was so hot, large, and yet incredibly soft and smooth. She had never touched a man’s hardness before, but his clenching teeth and glassy eyes made her needy for more. How could she have ever seen the act of pleasing a man as anything other than empowering? But it was more than that. It was not power over Alastar that she truly wanted. She wanted him to feel how strongly she craved him. Aislin needed to share this with him, to connect in the most primal way.
Her hand fisted his erection and he thrust his hips forward again with a low groan. “We cannot do this here, Lin,” he struggled to speak.
“Why not?” she asked with a raised brow. “I can think of nay better to place to make love with my husband for the first time than right here,” she waved her hand around, focusing on the targets he had built and the lake in the back drop. “I am most at ease here.”
Silently, his blue eyes hooded and locked on hers, he brought his hands up to the clasp of her cloak and swiftly removed it, setting it on the floor of the forest beneath their feet. Because of the clump of trees, very little snow covered the earth in this spot. Only pine needles littered the ground and she would more than manage those if it meant she could fulfill the need in her body right this moment.
“You must release my cock before I finish too soon, Lin,” he growled. Realizing she still held onto him with a firm grip, she flushed at his crude language and smirked at the same time. Letting go slowly, she sighed at the loss of his heat but squealed instantaneously after as he swiftly grabbed her by the shoulders and laid her down upon her cloak. He came down with her and the feel of his body on top of hers made the flames of her desire burn even hotter.
His mouth crashed back down on hers. Her hands were all over his body, roaming up his tunic and over his shoulders, back, around to the chiseled muscles of his abs and then settling down onto his firm backside. Trousers loosely hanging below his hips, she used her hands to push them down further, feeling his length resting hotly against her bare thigh. She was suddenly grateful for her hide skin skirts that allowed her to feel more of him.
“Lin…” he whispered softly against her mouth then trailed his tongue down her neck. The heat of his breath against the sensitive flesh where her neck and shoulder met sent blissful chills all up her body, and she began to feel desperate for more. “Your skin tastes of salt and honey and I could eat every inch of you.”
His words were shocking, sending images of his mouth in forbidden places to her brain, and she could not help but squirm beneath him as his mouth reached her breasts, breathing hot and heavy over her dress. “I need this off,” he growled. “I have longed to see your breasts.” His open confession drove her mad. Had he truly wanted her all this time? Imagined himself making love to her in this spot? Imagined her breasts bared to him? Desperate to make imagination a reality, she lifted her hips as he loosened the laces in the front of her hide dress, making it easy for him to finally slip the garment over her head.
Cold air swept over the entirety of her heated flesh and she knew she was fully unclothed and exposed to his gaze. His eyes widened, then grew heavy with desire as he finally took in the full-length of her naked body. She had spent the last three moons desperately hiding her body from him, and now she was desperate for him to know every inch of her.
She swallowed hard as he continued to stare, looking her up and down slowly as his fingers trailed softly across her breast, then over the stiffened peak where he repaid her for her earlier tease, pinching it with his fingers. She shrieked in shock and then groaned. It was as if lightning had struck her breast and traveled directly down to her womanhood, melting her insides completely.
“You are…” he began to speak, then stopped, swallowing hard. Alastar’s voice cracked when he spoke again. “You are perfect. So beautiful in every way.” She licked her lips and watched as he lowered his head to her breast, flicking his tongue over one nipple and then taking her into his mouth with a long deep pull that made her head light with need. When he switched to her other breast and did the same, she yelped and bucked, needing something more, so much more.
Scrambling to get him just as naked, she grabbed the hem of his tunic and pulled it over his head, sending his dark blond hair in all directions before a strong breeze came and blew it away from his face. His trousers were already partially removed, but she needed them gone. Using her boot, she pushed them down his legs and he allowed them to slip off his ankles.
“Gods, I want to make love to you in nothing but those boots laced up your calf,” he groaned.
But she was not focused on herself. She was staring at the entirely naked man leaning over her, using nothing but his elbows to prop himself up. His erection stood proudly and she reached out to run a finger along its length. It jumped at her touch, but she only continued the light teasing stroke until his eyes were squeezed tight, jaw clenched, and his hips were moving in a natural rhythm, clearly seeking the same satisfaction her own body sought.
“I want to do so many things to you, but I need to be inside you,” he growled, adjusting himself into a kneeling position above her. She took in the entirety of his body and sighed. He was truly beautiful, and hard as stone all over. Years of training as a warrior had done that to him. She had felt the lines of scar tissue cutting down his back. War would do that, also. She longed to know his past, where every scar had come from, whether he had family somewhere else, and she silently scolded herself for wasting so much time. She should know these details about her husband, but she had time to ask them later. Right now, this moment was all about feeling and discovering, and she planned to do just that.
His large calloused hands grabbed onto both of her large breasts and he squeezed almost painfully, but she found she liked it because it was proof of his loss of control. She drove him as mad as he drove her.
Releasing her breasts, he moved one finger down her ribs, over her stomach, and through the curls just above her womanhood. Breathing became almost painful as she waited in anticipation for his next move. Still, she could never have been prepared for the feeling of his finger making first contact with her swollen woman’s flesh. The sensation sent her hips flying off the ground and a shocking gasp escaped from her mouth. “Oh gods, Alastar,” she murmured, feeling a sweat break out over her skin, despite the cold winter wind. He ran his finger through her folds one more time, then focused on one spot that made her jerk and moan. It felt so wondrous. It was better than she could have ever believed and, as he skillfully circled that one spot with the pad of his finger, it was as if a thousand stars suddenly fell from the sky all at once.
She shuddered uncontrollably and locked eyes with him as the waves kept coming over her. His face was so serious and intense as he watched her reaction to the play of his fingers. Before she could even speak, he slipped a finger inside her, then another, and began working to stretch her. “You know this will hurt at first?” he asked softly, moving his fingers in and out slowly. She nodded, not caring if it would hurt. She just needed him inside her already.
Then he did something so utterly shocking and delightful, she screamed at the intensity of it. He leaned forward and ran his tongue just once up her seam, groaning and licking as he tasted her on his lips. Her face flushed so red she thought she may die of embarrassment, but he smiled and licked his lips one more time. “So good, Lin. So good.”
Then, he took himself in hand and leaned back over her, pushing himself inside her with little finesse. His urgency was written in the veins protruding from his neck and she could not be angry at him as she felt a sharp stinging in her core. It hurt terribly, but only for a moment and she loved this side of Alastar, watching him get lost in their love making. His movement gentled and he finally opened his eyes, flaring his nostrils while he thrust over and over. His primal gaze locked on hers and it was all she could do to bite her lower lip and focus back on his eyes, watching his pupils dilate with lust.
Nothing in life had felt so right and suddenly she was grateful for her family pushing her so hard to wed. If they had not, she never would have been convinced to handfast with this man who was so gentle, yet strong. Giving, yet taking so much of her that she knew a piece of her soul had melded to his forever. It should frighten her to feel this way, but it only made her feel stronger. They were finally one and together, they were perfect.
“You are so beautiful,” he murmured when he leaned forward and took her mouth with his, mimicking his thrusts below with his tongue. She could feel herself ready to give over to the pleasure once more. Her body was taut and quickly reaching a new level of pleasure she never knew existed. “You feel so good,” she heard herself groan as she clenched down, letting her body carry her away on a wave of ecstasy.
His rhythm became frantic and Alastar began to push harder and deeper into her, grunting like a beast, his sweaty hair matted to his forehead. He roared his released and shuddered against her until he finally collapsed on top of her. Their sweat-slicked limbs wrapped around one another, holding on for life, as if at any moment they could be torn apart by the storm that had just shaken them, changed them forever. Her heart throbbed and threatened to crack beneath the pressure of her sudden emotion for the man hovering above her now, placing tender kisses on her forehead, cheeks, nose, and finally her mouth.
“I have nay words for what just happened,” he whispered, kissing her shoulder softly. He was still inside her, she realized, and that intimacy alone was just as strong as the act they had just shared.
“Is it always like that?” she asked in wonder, still panting to catch her breath.
He shook his head and his usually playful features stayed straight and seriously. “Nay. That was…” his voice trailed off as he tried to think of the right words. “Unlike anything I have ever experienced in my life.” Alastar rolled off her and ran his hands through her hair.
“Tis freezing out here. I need to get you back to the house, Lin.” With the loss of his heat and the end of their love making, the cold of the night finally hit her like a wall of ice. Something else that felt very much like despair roiled inside her. She didn’t want this moment to end and she closed her eyes, promising to remember every moment.
When he took her hands and lifted her to her feet, he picked up her cloak and shook it out before wrapping it around her body. She knew it would take longer to get into her hide dress and lace it up again than necessary and the cloak kept the cold at bay. Quickly redressing himself and gathering her dress in his hand, he whistled to Branwen who had been happily busying herself chasing her reflection in the black mirrored surface of the lake.
They walked back swiftly and silently holding hands, but Aislin could not stop the thoughts from spinning wildly around in her mind. What had just happened between them? It felt life altering. Any thoughts she had clung to about leaving this arrangement when the year was up no longer seemed realistic. One night in his arms, one night of seeing just how accepting he was and she was rethinking everything she had even known. How could a lifetime’s worth of conviction have suddenly been replaced with this overpowering desire for something bigger? Something better. Alastar had shown her tonight that she could have it all and be fulfilled.
***
When they arrived home, Alastar opened the door for her and immediately began tending the fire as she shivered beneath her cloak. There was a strange new tension in the air, he could feel it vibrating all around them and the longer the silence stretched, the more intense his apprehension became.
“Is everything all right?” she asked, watching him poke at the fire with an iron rod. She must have felt the same shift in their circumstances as he did, and he heard the anxiety in her voice. He stood up straight and turned his body toward hers, his eyes skimming over her shivering body.
“I am better than all right, Lin. Are you all right?” He stepped up to her, and ran his hands up and down the length of her arms. She was still naked under the cloak and now it gaped open in front, revealing her body to him again, except this time there was no darkness to mask her nudity. The hearth fire blazed in front of her, illuminating her flawless skin. She was the daughter of one of the Sisters of Danu, daughter of King Garreth who was a descendant of ancient High Kings of Ériu, descendant of Dana, the legendary faery who escaped the Otherworld to live amongst humans, and the blood of the goddesses Ériu, Banba, and Fodla ran through her veins. In this moment, he wondered how none of that had ever truly crossed his mind before.
To him, she had always just been Aislin, the beautiful woman with curves that drove a man wild and a mind to match. But she was so much more than that and now that he had finally had her, he found that once was not enough. He would always crave more. Her emerald eyes searched his and she licked her lips unconsciously as his hands slid up to her shoulders and slowly down again toward her breasts. They were much more than a decent handful, heavy in his palms as he tested their weight. Each was tipped with perfectly rose-colored peaks that puckered as his thumb grazed over their surface. Gods, he wanted her again.
His cock roared to life once more and if it were not for his trousers, it would be aiming straight at her, ready to nestle into her sweet curves again. She had willingly come to him and it made those torturous nights worth every moment to have her succumb to her own desires. He had not built those targets or given her Branwen for any physical reward.
He thought about the dagger he gave her and felt a pinch of guilt in his heart. Blast him and that cursed wager. Giving her the dagger felt like the best way to clear his conscience. She could benefit from its use and he would no longer have to be reminded of that foolish wager. Though he wished to tell Aislin the truth of why Àdhamh gifted it to him, he felt it a much wiser idea to let the entire situation go. If she knew he had so carelessly placed wagers involving his ability to wed her, it could make her question the truth of his feelings for her.
He cared for her, more than cared. He was achingly in love with this strong-willed woman standing before him in naught but her cloak.
The words were on the tip of his tongue, but he swallowed them down. Their relationship had only just started to turn in the direction he desperately wanted it to and he did not want to push her too hard. Yet, he was a man of action who had never once in his life hesitated to take that which he wanted most. Her chest began to rise and fall as he continued to silently fondle her breasts, and he knew she was growing aroused again as she began to squirm beneath her cloak.
Unclasping the intricate gold pin around her neck, the cloak fell to the ground in a heavy pile of thick wool and fur. Gooseflesh covered every inch of her small lithe body, but she straightened her shoulders and stood proud, unashamed of her delicate curves.
His hands slid lower to her hips and around, where he gripped the perfect curves of her backside, pushing her pelvis into his. Her eyes widened at his sudden show of aggression, but she stayed silent, wrapping her arms around his neck for support.
“I want you again, Lin. So very badly,” he croaked. “But if you are too tired or sore…”
She answered him by placing the softest of kisses on his lips. “Can I…”
Her voice trailed off and he quirked a brow to encourage her to continue. “May I share your bed tonight?” she asked hesitantly, clearly afraid of being rejected. Was she mad? He would have been sharing his bed with her from the start had she shown any willingness to do so.
“I want nothing more in this world than to be your husband in truth, Lin. I wish to share everything with you. Most especially my bed.”
When she smiled in response, he scooped her light body up into his arms and walked over to his bed, placing her down gently. She looked like a true goddess sprawled out on his bed with naught on but a smug smile and her still tightly-laced boots. He slowly untied her boots, grazing every inch of her calf as he unwound the leather ties. He preferred her this way best. Fully exposed. Her red waves framed her face and covered his sheets.
Her fingers came up and smoothly tugged at the tie of his trousers. He wanted to take it slow this time. Though he still felt the need for urgency and wondered if he always would where she was concerned, he was desperate to prolong his release, to tease every inch of her body torturously until she begged and writhed beneath him.
And this time, he did just that, touching, teasing, and stroking until she groaned and a sheen of sweat coated her skin. When he could not take any more of her soft mewling sounds, he leaned forward and took her mouth with his, slowly pushing inside her entrance as their bodies rocked together in perfect rhythm. This was making love. She consumed every part of him. He could smell her desire mixed with her natural floral and honey scent, feel her on every inch of him as if she had reached inside and stolen his very essence. The sounds of the fire popping and hissing were the perfect backdrop to his low groans and her small whimpers. She was a naturally sensual woman and he felt beyond grateful that it was he she had decided to share herself with.
This time, when their bodies peaked together, it was as if they were soaring above themselves, becoming one body. One heart. One soul. He pumped into her sweetness frantically, feeling himself give way to his desire for his wife. He knew it then. It would never be enough. He needed her always by his side. He couldn’t allow her to walk away from him. That thought made a small panic coil in his gut, but now was the time to savor in their post love-making glow, not worry over the future.
Aislin rolled over, molding the front of her body to his, running her hands through his hair, then over his back as she searched his face. He rested his hand on the womanly dip between her waist and hip, spinning soft circles on her creamy flesh with the tip of his finger, leaving gooseflesh in his wake.
“How did you get these scars on your back?” she asked innocently. But when his finger stopped grazing her skin and his body pulled taut, her face grew contrite. “Och, I am sorry, Alastar. I did not mean to ruin the moment or cause you pain over your past. I just do not know anything about you really and I long to know. But if—”
He placed a finger over her lips to stop her nervous chattering. “I got these scars in the same attack that lead to the deaths of my mother, father, and twin brother,” he said in a low voice. He wanted to open up to her, to tell her all, yet it hurt so deeply to say the words out loud. He had never shared these words, and never told the story. The only people who knew of his past were those who had been there and never had they spoken of it. The words ripped from him painfully, and yet, if he were to share this story, Aislin was the one he wished to share it with.
She gasped and clutched his back as if she wished to heal his wounds simply through the power of her touch. Amazingly, he found that she could. He would always miss his family and mourn their loss, but having this strong woman by his side, in his bed… in his heart, he felt as if he could speak of it for the first time in almost ten years.
“It was a surprise attack from one of Elim’s enemies. My father was one of his loyal warriors. He was a good man. I never knew why he believed so much in Elim, but he was loyal to a fault. When the attack happened, my father raised the call and we all went to battle. I watched as my father and twin brother lost their lives. I was helpless. I reached my brother’s murderer too late and I finally cut him down, but not before he left me these scars to remember that moment of loss forever.”
He went silent and found that he was clenching Aislin’s hip in what must have been a painful embrace, but she allowed it as tears dripped down her nose. He released his grip and wiped away her tears. “Do not cry for me, love.”
“I am so sorry Alastar. I never knew.”
“I have never told a soul. Only Jeoffrey and those from our camp know of my loss and I have not seen any of them for a long while.”
“You seem so pleasant all the time. You smile, laugh, and jest. I would never have known.”
Alastar shrugged and frowned. “What does walking around with anger and resentment do for one’s soul? I have scars from my past, but I promised to not allow them to turn me into an angry, bitter man. Life is short. Laughter heals. Besides… would you have agreed to wed with me if I scowled all the time?”
A small smile graced her lips. “I am not certain. Perhaps not.”
“Then, there you go. Every smile was worth the price.” He kissed the tip of her nose and felt soothed when her nails began to scratch up and down his back rhythmically.
“What of your mother?” she asked carefully, clearly needing to know all but afraid of hurting him further.
He scowled and clenched his jaw. “I ran home after slaying the bastard who slew my brother. I found a man violating my mother as she cried for help. Before I could save her, the man slit her throat before my eyes. I killed him, as well, and I am not sorry.”
She was quiet for a long moment, more tears streaming down her cheeks and her shoulders shaking with repressed sobs.
“I am sorry, Lin. I do not mean to upset you.”
“Do not apologize. I cannot believe what horrors you have lived through. I am the one who is sorry for all of your loss.”
“Hush now, wee wife. You are the only thing that has made me truly happy in my entire life. Never apologize for the things we cannot control. I am a happy man and even more happy now that we are here together,” he smiled sadly and ran a hand through her tangled hair.
“I kept my distance from you all this time,” she whimpered.
“And I allowed it.”
“Aye. I never knew why. Most men would have forced their wife to perform her duties. You asked nothing of me. Why?”
“Why?” he asked incredulously. “You did not marry me for love. You married me for convenience. You made yourself quite clear that you intended to end our relationship in one year and one day. I would never force a woman. I wanted it to be you who came to me when you were ready. And you did,” he smiled and kissed her softly, running his hand over the slope of her breast. She shivered at his touch but did not pull away. Her own hand wandered between their bodies, finding his semi-hard manhood and stroking it back to life. He groaned and closed his eyes.
“You know…” she said slowly. “I truly thought you did not want me.”
“What?” he almost shouted. “The sight of you drives me mad with need. Since the moment I saw you when I first arrived in Alba, I wanted you for myself. Your brother hated watching me drool over you.”
She scoffed and still gently ran a finger up and down his hardening length. “I thought you were meeting with another lass every time you left the house to go to the lake at night,” she confessed softly.
His eyes widened, and he pulled her even closer to him. “Never. I would never do such a thing. I have never committed myself to any one woman, Lin, but when I said my vows to you, I meant every word. I will never want another woman and if you decide to walk away from me in nine moons, you will be taking my heart with you.”
She breathed deeply at his confession and cupped his face. “I have nay intention of walking away from you… from this. Not anymore.” Her eyes began to flutter closed and he knew she would be asleep in his arms within the next few moments. Nothing else could have pleased him more than her promise to stay with him. Her palms rested on his bare chest and he wrapped one arm around her waist, holding her close while her breathing became soft and steady.
When he was certain his wife was fully asleep, he whispered the words he knew his heart longed to say, but feared hers was not ready to hear. “I love you, Aislin.” Feeling more fulfilled than ever before in his life, he closed his eyes and fell instantly into a deep, comforted sleep.