Thirty

Emery

Tears streamed down my face as I stood in front of the elevators. The hospital ward was empty. I was sure the ER was packed with drunken accidents, but here, in this part of the hospital, it was deserted. And I was grateful.

I couldn’t seem to stop crying. My breaths were coming out in short spurts, and my chest constricted. I felt like I was hyperventilating, unable to get enough air in and hiccuping to try to recover.

My heart ached. My chest ached. My head ached.

Everything hurt.

Walking away from Jensen hurt.

I hadn’t wanted to do it. But I’d meant every word that I said. He didn’t trust, period. And I couldn’t be with him if he didn’t trust me. That left us at an impasse.

After the mess back in Austin, I’d thought moving home and trying to figure out what I wanted in my life would be easy. I’d spend time with Kimber and Heidi. I’d find a real job. I’d discover what I wanted.

Instead, my heart, mind, body, and soul belonged to Jensen Wright.

I should have stayed sworn off of men.

I should have stayed far away from the Wrights.

Then, I wouldn’t be standing here with a heart threatening to shatter.

“Fuck,” I whispered, jamming the button to go upstairs. I scrubbed at my face.

No more tears.

No more.

Kimber would notice. I was sure of it. But I was here for her now, and that was what was important. Meeting my new niece.

I took the elevator up to the fourth floor and was directed to my sister’s room.

“Knock, knock,” I said, entering the room.

Kimber was lying in the bed with Noah hovering next to her, holding a cup of ice chips.

“Hey!” she said with a genuine smile. “You made it.”

“I made it.”

“Are you okay?”

“Totally. I’m so excited to finally meet the little one!” I put on a big smile and pushed the last couple of hours out of my mind.

“Well, it’s still going to be a while,” Noah said. “Water hasn’t even broken, but she’s dilated and having contractions at a regular interval. Same as last time.”

“I’m here for an all-nighter then.”

“You look like you came straight from a party. Did you give up your midnight kiss for me?” Kimber asked.

I glanced up at the clock and realized it was only ten thirty. We’d totally missed our New Year’s kiss. Not that I was exactly up for a steamy kiss right now.

“Meh. Don’t worry about it. I know you brought a couple of extra outfits. I’ll just steal your clothes and send Mom back with more when I take over for Lily.”

“You are going to send Mom here?” Kimber asked hysterically.

I cackled, finally feeling an ounce of buoyancy. “Now, you admit your true feelings! She’s crazy, right?”

“I don’t need coaching! I already have two doctors. Sorry, Noah.”

“No offense taken.”

“Ohhh!” Kimber yelled. She doubled over as a contraction hit her full force.

And then I went into full-on sister mode. Kimber gave me something to focus on. I was able to be helpful and be there to make her smile and laugh through the worst of it.

Right after midnight, my phone started ringing and I saw that it was Heidi. “Is it okay if I take this?”

“We’re going to be here a while,” Kimber said. “Go ahead.”

I walked out of the room and found a quiet place to answer. “Hey Heidi.”

“Em! Where are you?” Heidi asked. “I found the hottest guy for my New Year’s kiss, and I want you to meet him.”

“I actually left.”

“Oh, you and Jensen left early for some sex,” Heidi said. I could tell she was drunk.

“Actually, no. Kimber went into labor, and Jensen and I got into a huge fight.”

“Kimber went into labor!” Heidi cried, sobering up. “Should I leave? And wait, what fight? What happened?”

“No, don’t leave. We’re going to be here all night. I can text you when the baby comes.”

“Okay. But what happened with Jensen?”

“His ex-wife Vanessa showed up at the party and told me that Jensen had a son.”

“Well, of course he has a son,” Heidi said. “Duh.”

I froze in place. “What do you mean of course he has a son, Heidi! You knew? Why wouldn’t you tell me something like that?”

“Jesus Christ, I didn’t know that you didn’t know, Emery. Everyone knows he has a kid. He’s like this absentee father, who spends all his money on child support and only sees his kid for the holidays. What did you think I meant when I said that he flies to New York every holiday?”

That conversation all those weeks ago when Heidi had said that came back to me. God, I hadn’t even known what she had meant, but now that I did, I felt like an idiot.

“Fuck. Really everyone knows?” I asked.

“I mean it’s not a secret that he had a kid. I swear I thought you knew before you even hooked up with him.”

“I didn’t.”

“Shit, I’m sorry. I would have said something, but I figured you knew and thought it was no big deal. It’s not like this is his first hook up post-child.”

“Yeah,” I said softly. It sure wasn’t. “It just…I don’t think he’s an absentee father, Heidi. I think he’s really involved in his son’s life. He said he’s very protective of people meeting him. He wants me to meet him, and I don’t know if I want that. I don’t think he really trusts me.”

“Maybe he thought you already knew about his son like I did.”

I shook my head. “I don’t think he did. We would have talked about it.”

“Well, now I feel even shittier. What are you going to do?”

I leaned my head back against the wall and closed my eyes. “I have no idea.”

“Look, when you and Jensen started this, it was supposed to be a fling. It’s only been a few weeks since you’ve been together.”

“Yeah. That’s true. Why would he share crucial information with a fling?” she asked miserably. God, I knew that I wasn’t a fling to him, but this whole trust thing was taking me to a bad place.

“You’re not a fling anymore. So, if he wants you to meet his kid, then this is a good sign, Em,” Heidi said. “Just because you didn’t find out the way that you wanted doesn’t mean that he doesn’t trust you.”

“Maybe.”

“Okay. Worry about Kimber right now and deal with Jensen tomorrow. Maybe you’ll have a clear head then. We can talk more if you need to work through it.”

“Thank, Heidi.”

“You’re the best.”

“Don’t forget it.”

We ended the call, and I took my time getting back to the hospital room. I couldn’t believe that Heidi had known…that everyone had known. I knew I was out of the loop on Lubbock gossip, but I thought I would have heard something like this. But no, I had closed myself off from the Wright family so much that I didn’t even know this one piece of information. And Jensen hadn’t trusted me with it.

I sure hoped Heidi was right and that by tomorrow I would know what to do. Because right now, I had a long night ahead of me. A long, tiring night.