Thirty-Five

Emery

“There’s one thing I don’t understand,” I said as we left the lawyer’s office behind.

“Just one?” Jensen asked.

“Well, probably a lot of things but one in particular.”

“What’s that?”

“Why didn’t you ever get a paternity test done?”

“You mean…if I thought that Colton was Marc’s all along, why didn’t I confirm it?”

“Yes.”

That had been bugging me from the start. He had just let that stand without confirmation. It would have driven me crazy.

“For a couple reasons. Proof could have only hurt me. Proof could have taken him away. Proof could have shattered our reality. If I got a paternity test, and it said, as I suspect it will in a couple days, that Colton is Marc’s son, then I could lose him. But if I never got one done, then Vanessa only had the threat to hang over my head, and nothing else.

“That makes sense. You didn’t want her to take him away. So, you never gave her the proof she needed to do it.”

“Right, but the other reason is because I didn’t need a paternity test to tell me that Colton is my son. I didn’t need the confirmation. Colton is my son. Regardless of biology or anything else. He’s mine. I love him.”

My eyes widened, and a smile stretched my face.

“I didn’t need proof when I held him in my arms every day and watched him grow up. I had all the proof I needed when he kissed me good night and called me Daddy.”

A tear glimmered in my eye, and I wrapped my arms around his waist, drawing him into a hug. He held me tight and placed a kiss on the top of my head.

“You’re a good dad, Jensen Wright.”

“It is what I have always endeavored to be.”

I released Jensen and wiped my eyes. “Don’t ever let them take that away from you. No matter what.”

He warily stared down at me. “If they take my son from me, I will no longer be a good person. There’ll be little hope for anything else.”

He moved past me and took the driver’s seat in the Mercedes. It took me a couple of seconds to get composed. I couldn’t imagine what he was feeling or how he was handling this right now. My heart went out to him, and I truly feared that, if all went as I suspected it would, with Marc’s test coming back as Colton’s father, that Marc and Vanessa would wreck him.

With a gulp, I followed Jensen into the car. We drove across town to the lab specified on the form. I told Jensen I would wait in the lobby while he got his test done. It took forever. I wasn’t sure why since all he had to do was a normal cotton swab or a blood test. But that was a doctor’s office for you.

I flipped through my phone and read a few magazines while I waited. By the time he finally came out, I had a full plan of action for the few days we’d have to wait until the tests came back.

“Painless?” I asked as we exited.

“Yeah. Now, the waiting begins.”

“I have an idea about that.”

“Hmm?” he asked, distracted.

“I thought we might disappear for a bit. Not too long but just to get your mind off of things.”

“Are you really sure I should leave?”

“I think it would be good. Plus, your lawyer agrees.”

“Yeah, but what if Vanessa does something crazy or Marc interferes? What if I’m not here?” he asked.

“We won’t go far. I promise.”

He sighed, knowing I was right. “All right.”

“You could come meet Bethany when I stop by my place to get clothes.”

“I’d like that.”

Jensen drove us to Kimber’s place in a hurry. He took corners so fast, I thought we were going to go flying. But I didn’t tell him to stop or slow down. I knew what had kindled this aggression.

Heidi’s car was in the driveway when we showed up. And she greeted us at the door with baby Bethany.

“Hey, cutie,” I said, accepting her like a present.

“About time you showed up!” Heidi said with a grin. “Hey, Jensen.”

“Heidi,” he said with a smile.

She gave me a strange look, as if she couldn’t figure out what was up with us. How could I blame her? I was sure she was wondering what the hell was happening with us. Last she had heard, we’d gotten in a fight on New Year’s Eve, and now, he was showing up to see the baby. There was a lot I needed to explain, and there was no time like the present to do it.

“She’s so cute,” I said with a grin.

“Isn’t she?” Kimber said from the couch. “Noah’s at work, and Lily is upstairs, napping.”

“Beautiful,” I confirmed. I turned my attention to Jensen, who was looking down at Bethany like she was the most exquisite thing. “Do you want to hold her?”

“If that’s all right?”

“Of course,” Kimber said. “You’re great with Lilyanne.”

He nodded, and then I passed him the little bundle of joy. He immediately softened. I knew he was thinking about Colton at this age. He couldn’t see his son right now, but it must have felt nice to hold a baby regardless.

“I’m going to go pack.”

“Pack?” Kimber asked.

“I thought y’all might like some space with Bethany home and all. I’m going to go stay with Jensen for a few days.”

“That’s sweet, Em,” Kimber said, “but not necessary. I don’t mind you staying.”

“I know, but I don’t want to be in the way when you want to bond. I’ll be right back.”

Heidi followed me upstairs and leaned against the doorframe as I stuffed clothes into my overnight bag. “Your shit is still in boxes from Austin. Are you ever going to unpack?”

“Not until I move in with you,” I told her with a grin.

“Seriously? You think I want you in my apartment?”

“Of course you do. I’m awesome.”

“Move in whenever you want, whore. But give me the deets on you and Jensen. Fighting. Not fighting. What gives?”

I shrugged. “Things were put into perspective. He went out on a limb for me, and I want to trust him and see this through.”

“Way to vaguebook. Give me the down and dirty.”

“I can’t,” I told her, facing her. “I love you—you know that—but this isn’t my secret to tell. Until Jensen is ready to tell it, I don’t want to mess up his trust. We’re kind of on new ground here…and I like him too much to lose that.”

Heidi held her hands up. “That’s fair. I’m not trying to pry. Okay, I am. But I don’t want to fuck up your relationship. Everything okay?”

“Honestly…we’ll find out in a few days.”

“Seems grim.”

“You’ve no idea.”

“Okay, okay. Well, fill me in when you can, and let’s set up a plan for you to actually move in. You’d better not be that girl who moves in with her bestie and then sleeps at her boyfriend’s house the whole time.”

“You know I’ve got time for you in my bed.”

Heidi snorted. “I love you. So, where are you going?”

“Surprise. Will you check on Kimber the next couple of days? I really don’t want to smother them, but I’ll miss my niece.”

“You know it.”

I finished filling up my bag, slung it over my shoulder, and then retreated downstairs. I hugged Kimber, who was cooing over Bethany asleep in Jensen’s arms. It was almost comical really. He was such a big guy, and she was so tiny. Yet he held her as if she were the most precious cargo.

“She’s gorgeous, Kimber,” Jensen said before passing her back. “Congratulations to you both.”

“Thank you,” she said, smiling down at her daughter.

“I’ll see you in a couple of days. Call me if you need me,” I said to Kimber.

“Okay,” Kimber said, giving me a hug. “Love you.”

Jensen and I retreated back to his Mercedes.

“You going to fill me in on where we’re going?”

I grinned as we drove to his place. “You haven’t guessed?”

“Coming up blank.”

“Back to our first date.”

He smiled the first real smile all afternoon, and his eyes raked over my body. “The cabin.”

Jensen’s cabin in Ransom Canyon was exactly the way I remembered it. Chic furniture and hardwood floors. Sheepskin rugs and modern appliances. A roaring fireplace with soft music filtering in through a surround sound stereo system. It was everything I could want in a place that was both somehow high-end and old school.

It brought back memories of camping when I’d been in school yet exuded a realm of luxury I’d never understood until Jensen.

Here was where we had first had sex, giving into desire and never thinking forward from that moment. If I had known then where we would be standing now, I probably would have thought I was insane. No way would I be Jensen Wright’s girlfriend. He’d been out of my league. I’d merely been a conquest…and happy to oblige for a night. Yet…here we were.

“Maybe we should go back,” Jensen said doubtfully.

“Look, I know you’re worried,” I told him, divesting myself of my jacket and tossing it on the back of the couch. “I’m worried, too. But you need to get your mind off of things just until we know the test results. If not, all you’ll do is worry yourself to death…and probably do something stupid.”

He ran a hand back through his hair. His eyes were haunted. “You’re probably right.”

“I’m definitely right.”

His eyes slid back to me. “And how exactly are you going to get my mind off of things?”

“I had a few ideas.”

“Does the first start with you stripping in front of the fire again?”

I smirked. “That’s like the third idea.”

His hands slid up my sides. “We should move it up the list.”

Then, he wrapped his arms around my thighs and hoisted me up into the air. I latched on to his neck, holding myself in place. He effortlessly carried me to the sheepskin rug where we had first had sex.

“Help me forget,” he breathed against my neck as he lay me back on the rug.

He didn’t have to tell me twice. If he wanted sex, I was there, but I knew he wouldn’t really forget like this. It would dampen but not change how he felt. I knew that talking was the only thing that would get us there. However, I was all for talking after.

I slipped my shirt over my head and reached for the button on his jeans. Pushing myself into a sitting position, I stripped off his jeans and then ran my hand over the edge of his boxer briefs. He groaned, even before I slipped under the material and took the length of him in my hand. He grew in size at my careful ministrations. Then, I leaned forward, removed his boxers, and licked him from base to head. He definitely was not thinking about anything else now.

I brought him almost to climax with my mouth before he wrestled me to the ground, removed my clothes, and rammed into me. His eyes were full of emotions now. Lust, desire, heat. He wanted me, and I wanted him.

My hand reached up and brushed his cheek. “I love you,” I murmured.

His pacing slowed, and he eased forward onto his elbows, so he could look directly into my face. “I will always love you.”

He kissed me, slow and purposeful, matching our lips to his strokes. I twined my legs around his body, reveling in the sensation. Before I knew it, my whole body convulsed, and I was coming with him deep inside me. He tipped his head back and followed on the heels of my orgasm.

It felt like more than just sex.

More than just fucking.

It was deep and personal.

He had touched my soul.

Devoured my heart.

And brought us both back to life.

Jensen Wright had rewritten my world.

We both lay back on the rug, spent…for now. My breathing was irregular, and my heartbeat was skyrocketing. Yet all I wanted was to start up again. I was insatiable for this man. And it terrified me that we had come so close to stepping away…to saying that this was too much.

Love was hard.

It shook you to your core.

It remade you into a different person.

But that was what made it beautiful. Knowing that no one else in the world could ever make you feel like you did in that moment. Accepting the pain and really experiencing what it meant to be together.

It moved mountains.

It certainly moved me.

“How are you doing?” Jensen asked, kissing my shoulder.

“Never been better.”

“Mmm,” he agreed.

“I think I want to teach,” I told him out of nowhere.

“I bet you’d be amazing at it.”

“My mother, of all people, suggested I do it, and now, I think it sounds like the right choice.”

“Is that what you want then?”

“It was the only thing that really made me happy in grad school. I thought it would get easier. All the research and papers and such, but it was the classroom that made me happy. I just…thought that was normal.”

“Maybe it was telling you something,” he said, twining my dark hair around his finger.

“Maybe it was,” I whispered. “I’ve never really told anyone that. It was anathema to what everyone thought I should be focusing on in grad school. No one talked about loving the teaching side.”

“Well, I think you should stop caring what they think and follow your heart.”

I glanced over at him. Naked and satisfied on a sheepskin rug with nothing but Jensen Wright in my sight.

“I think I have.”

“You are my heart,” he said. He took my hand up to his lips and kissed each individual knuckle. “And I can’t thank you enough for being here right now through all of this. I know that things haven’t been easy. You could have left at anytime. Yet you are here with me through the hardest moment of my life. No matter what happens, Emery, when I walk out on the other side of this…I want you to be with me. I want you to be mine.”

I touched his face and drew his lips to mine. “I am.”