Chapter 9
Finley
“You’re staying here? On the water?” I glare at Alexa who’s preparing her house to ride out the storm. I’m having a hard time believing we’re about to get hit with the storm of the century since it’s just days away and right now the sun is blaring down on us like it’s the middle of summer.
“I stay through each storm. Right here. And the minute the worst is over I go out to help where I can.”
I cross my arms in front of my chest and lean back against her counter. She’s lifting shit off the floor, boarding up doors and windows, and carrying anything and everything she can upstairs to keep it out of the flood waters that are bound to fill the main floor living space.
“I’ve never been in a hurricane,” I mutter, walking over to the only window she hasn’t boarded up yet. Alexa’s house is in the heart of the everglades. Full foliage around her, the water butting up to her back door practically. She invited me over before work today since we’re going in late to do the evening tour with Levi and his friends. I was happy to get out of the apartment when she texted because my sister’s been weird ever since that night. She’s been clingy. Sweet. And when she doesn’t know I’m looking she’s crying her eyes out. Like last night when I thought she was asleep and I came in through the front door finding her in tears on the couch. She swore it was because of the movie she was watching but the TV wasn’t even on.
Guilt’s been creeping in on me that I took the man she was meant to be with, but I’m trying not to let it happen. I’m trying not to feel bad about it. I’m also trying to figure out how to tell her about us.
“Well. Hurricanes are scary as fuck, but if you’re smart about it it’s fine. I’ve never been in one this strong but I can’t think it’d be much different than a level four which is what we had two years ago. I survived that. I can survive this. My house isn’t in the direct path and the trees seem to lessen the impact.” She shrugs and I shake my head. “I’ll be fine.”
Right. Famous last words.
“Well, finish up. We’ve got a tour to prepare for.”
“I can’t believe Bran’s letting you take his boat out without him.” She laughs and tosses her hammer on the counter.
“He trusts me.” I laugh. “Unlike you.”
“Last time I took his boat out I buried the motor in the swamp, killing it and costing him a couple days work to get the new one up and running.” She laughs. “He has full reason not to trust me.”
Alexa is a hell of a tour guide on land, but when it comes to the boats we use for the tours she’s shit at it. Put her on a speedboat or something smaller like a jet ski and she’s amazing. But a floating house? Nope. She can talk your ear off about the area, though, so with me at the helm and her tour expertise tonight’s bound to be an adventure.
We make it into work and I’m a ball of nerves and I don’t know why. More than likely it’s the fact that I have three days to figure out this thing with Levi or I have to let him walk away and not expect anything from him, and that thought alone is the hardest pill to swallow.
“Have you ever been in love?” I ask Bran as we finish up the second afternoon tour.
“I have.” He nods, finishing the post tour checklist. “Why?”
“What was it like?” I pick at the chipping paint on the dock and watch him finalize the list, sign it, and toss it back into the compartment on the boat. He sighs as he steps onto the dock.
“It was like…” He hums. “Crazy.” He laughs. “It didn’t last long. We were from two different worlds and I didn’t belong in hers.” He shrugs. “But I gotta tell you. That was the best summer of my life. I couldn’t stop thinking about her. And when it was over I didn’t regret it for a minute.” He smiles at me and nudges my arm as he walks. “Me thinks you’ve got a lot more going on in that head than curiosity.”
“I think I love him,” I whisper, swallowing back emotions.
“I think you’ve loved him a long time, Finley.”
I told him and Alexa all about Levi’s and my past last week. I needed someone to talk to and since I couldn’t talk to my sister about it I had to spill to them.
“Yeah. But it’s crazy, right? I mean we haven’t been dating that long.”
“Finley, you’ve known that boy since you were a kid. You’ve had eyes for him since high school. And you’ve loved him since college.” He laughs. “If this is ‘too soon’ for you then you’ve got a problem, girl.”
Staring at the ground as we walk, I start to think that maybe he’s right. I think I’ve loved him for longer than just recently. I think deep down I’ve always had incredibly strong feelings for the man I could never have. And now that I can have him… I can’t keep him.
“I can’t tell him.” I shake my head. “He’s leaving in three days, Bran. It’ll screw everything up.”
“You’re leaving in three days, too, girlie. This storm is nothing to joke around with.”
“I have to work! I can’t leave because of a storm,” I blurt as we head back into the building.
“Actually you don’t.” DJ walks over to us. “We’re closing shop. Locking everything up. After the storm a few years ago killed a park employee that was on the clock they’re pretty strict on us being out here during the storms.” He pats my shoulder and I grimace.
Don’t touch me.
“So when do we come back? Are we paid for this?”
“I’m working on pay right now, but you’ll need to be back once everything passes. We’ll need you here.” He nods at Bran. “Have a good one, man. And Finley, don’t be stupid. I know you don’t like to listen to me but you’ve never been through one of these before. It’s not something to try and battle. Get out before you can’t.”
I watch him walk away with wide eyes then look over at Bran.
“Is he serious?”
“’Fraid so. He lost a girlfriend in that storm he talked about. She was the other park ranger on duty that day and…” He grimaces. “Well, the winds were blowing shit around pretty terrible that day. She was trying to take cover when a pole happened to snap nearby and…” He makes a noise while hitting his fist against his chest and I frown.
“Impaled?” I whisper and he nods.
“It’s part of the reason DJ’s such an ass. He saw the whole thing happen. Fucked him up pretty good.”
“Shit.” I breathe. “Wow.” I kind of feel bad for the guy now.
“So. Like we’ve both said now, you’re leaving too.”
I look at him, wondering if maybe I should leave. Alexa’s dead set on staying and sees no reason to fear it. But these boys are acting like it’s the end of the world. And I don’t know who to trust!
The doorbells ding, announcing another tourist, so when I spin with the polite smile pasted on my face and my eyes hit Levi’s, my work smile melts into a real smile. When Levi smiles back? Butterflies take flight in my stomach and I bite my lip, trying to tamp down the excitement.
“Damn,” I hear Bran mutter and I look over at him.
“What?”
“Oh nothing. But I think you know exactly how you’re feeling about him.” He glances at Levi and raises his eyebrow a bit.
Yeah. I do.
“Hey.” I smile. “You’re a little early.”
“That ok?” He shoves his hands into his pockets and shrugs. “I was kind of hoping we could talk.”
“Uh…” I glance at Bran and he’s beaming at me.
“I think I can hold down the fort.” He winks at me.
“Thanks.” I walk around the counter and pull Levi outside to the picnic tables. He stops me before I sit and frames my face with his hands then kisses me softly. Just a touch of his lips to mine melts me into a puddle. One swipe of his tongue makes me whimper. Before pulling back, he deepens the kiss briefly making me beg for more, but then his forehead pushes to mine and a grin spreads wide on his face.
“You’re so fucking hot in this uniform.” He chuckles and I slug his arm. “Nerdy hot! It’s a good thing!”
“Stop.” I laugh, looking down at the shirt I have to wear as part of my uniform. “It’s not that bad, is it?”
“Squirt, this thing’s sexy as fuck.” He tugs at the multiple pockets on my shorts and his eyes trail to the buttons on my shirt. “I mean, honestly. I never considered this type of outfit to be erotic, but Jesus, Finley.”
I laugh and shove him off me.
“Stop making fun of me. I have a boat to go get ready, what did you need.”
He smiles at me, his blue eyes sparkling in the sunlight as he steps closer.
“I’m not leaving this weekend. I can’t let you ride this out alone.”
“Well that’s nice and all but I’m not allowed to stay. I‘ve been told to get out of dodge.” I shrug. “So you’re in the clear.”
His eyebrows furrow then a wider smile spreads on his lips.
“So you can come home with me?” His eyes are twinkling and his smile reaches ear to ear.
“Uh…sure? I hadn’t really thought of where I was going to go.” I laugh. “But I guess I can come home for a bit. My mom would be happy to see me.”
“Fuck yes!” He wraps his arms around me and laughs. “God, I was so worried for you.” He buries his face in my neck and inhales deep.
“Why? I would have been fine.”
“I know. Because you’re a badass. One of the many reasons I love you.” He leans in and kisses the top of my nose and I’m frozen in my spot.
“You what?” I manage to whisper. He must not have realized what he said when he said it, because as soon as I question him his eyes go wide and his mouth falls open. “Levi, did you say you loved me?”
“I uh…” He lets out a small laugh and his head bobs. “I did.” He smiles. “I love you, squirt.”
My face turns red and I want to scream with giddiness. Levi Walsh loves me!
“Cool.” I smirk, looking towards the boat. His smile falters the slightest and he stammers. It’s adorable. God, he’s cute. Hot. Sexy. And makes me feel like I’m floating when his hands are on me. And I think about him nonstop. And when we’re together I can’t stop wondering when the next time I’ll get to see him is.
God, I do love him.
“Oh ok. Yeah. Ok.” He lets out a breath of air and just when he thinks I’m going to walk away, I turn and slam myself into him, wrapping my arms around his neck and kissing him hard.
“Oh. And I love you, too,” I say. The words are easier coming out than I thought they’d be but I threw caution to the wind and I don’t want to think about what all this means or what we’re going to do from here. I want, for once, to live in the moment.
***
“Are you sure you know what you’re doing?” My sister’s worried ‘Mom’ tone blurts through the rest of the groups trash talking that Levi’s appearance looks different today. It’s weird and almost makes me feel guilty that everyone else on this boat knows what’s going on between the two of us but my sister. But that’s the way it has to be.
I’m telling her tomorrow before she leaves. I’ve decided that. For now, though, I’m going to enjoy the time we have when she’s not pissed at me.
“Trust me, Kat. I’ve done this a few times over the last couple of months.” I smile at her and as I take us away from shore, Alexa starts in on her spiel.
It ended up being nine people. Me, Alexa, Kat, Levi, and Anders. Then there’s King, a guy named Kellan who I guess is one of their roommates, and another two that I don’t remember their names but they look like they’re more interested in what’s in each other’s pants than the actual tour.
I catch Levi’s eye as we head into the first leg of the tour and he’s staring at me with more than amusement and more than love. There’s some type of awe there that I’ve never noticed before.
“Do you do this every day?” My sister chimes in, breaking the spell Levi has on me.
“Every working day, yes.” I nod, checking the dials and making sure we’re on path.
“This doesn’t get old?” She scrunches her nose and King speaks up.
“Someone take the chip off this girl’s shoulder. This is fucking beautiful, woman.” He leans back in his seat and Levi snickers at my sister’s eye roll.
“All I’m saying is you can only see the same tree or rock so many times before you’re going insane.” She shakes her head and I tighten my fist.
“It’s not for everyone, but it’s perfect for me.” I clear my throat. “Hey. How’s sitting at a desk pushing papers going for ya, Kat? You happily married yet, big sis?”
King snickers and Anders looks like he’s about to watch a cat fight between the two of us. Kat’s eyes go wide and I notice them flash to Levi before shaking her head.
“Not happily married, no. And I don’t push papers. I fight for what’s right.”
“Exactly. Me too. Just in a different sense.” I shrug and turn my back to the group. I get that she had feelings for her childhood best friend, but get over it. He was very honest with how he felt about her but she can’t seem to drop it and it’s getting annoying.
“What kind of lawyer are you, Kat?” I hear Anders ask and I tune them out. He’s head over heels for her, and good for him, but nothing will come of it. She’s all business and no play.
“Hey,” Levi all but whispers in my ear taking me by surprise and I shriek then start to laugh when I almost topple over the side of the boat. Levi chuckles and his hands hit my hips to help steady me but I slap them away before Kat sees.
“Hi,” I say, grinning and tucking my hair behind my ear.
I look at the group and Alexa’s entertaining King like he’s the only one on this boat but from the looks of it, he’s the only one who cares to listen to her. Everyone else is too busy taking in the scenery or staring at their phone screens.
Well. Most people. I glance back at my sister who’s watching us like a hawk and spin around, focusing my eyes back on the water. “She’s watching us,” I whisper as quietly as I can.
“Yeah.” He clears his throat and backs a step away so he’s not pushed against me. “Hey, so this is beautiful out here, don’t listen to your sister. I’m instantly jealous of your job.”
I glance back at him then look out over the horizon. The mangrove forests were all but wiped out a few years ago when the Category 4 Jake ripped through here, but they’re finally growing back thick and green. It’s amazing how resilient the ecosystem down here is. It’s also sad to think that the storm next week could potentially rip it all apart again.
“It’s a pretty amazing gig. I couldn’t leave it if I tried.” I look back at him and hope he gets the unspoken words.
I’m not moving home. As happy as he was when I said I’d come home with him this weekend, he needs to know it’s not for good. I’m not moving back.
For anything.
“I get it. This is where you belong.” He nods and his hand goes to the back of my neck. “I could see myself living in a place like this,” he whispers, his fingers grazing my skin lightly, sending prickles down my arms. His words give me a hope I shouldn’t have. A hope for a future with him.
I spin and my eyes immediately hit my sister who’s not even pretending to listen to Anders anymore. Her eyebrows are pushed together as she watches us. Slowly and with purpose, she stands and walks over to us and my guard immediately goes up.
I don’t like feeling jealous of my sister…
“Hey Levi, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about something.” Her hand rests on Levi’s shoulder and chills run down my spine as I watch her touch him. She’s my sister. I shouldn’t feel this ragey towards her.
“What’s up?” He looks relaxed but I know he’s anything but.
“I was hoping we could maybe talk later? Privately?” She smiles at him nervously and I grit my teeth together. “Maybe dinner tonight?”
Is throwing your own sister off a boat frowned upon?
“Right. Sure, yeah. I’m free.” He smiles and steps back, heading for the seat again and far away from me. Anders’ eyes are wide as he watches us. Kat smiles at me and walks back to her seat and I spin, focusing back on the water and trying to ignore the knot spinning in my stomach. Rocks. It feels like my stomach’s a rock tumbler right about now.
The rest of the tour feels way too awkward. King’s eyes won’t leave Alexa no matter what the topic she spins off on, Levi won’t look at me or Kat, and Kat’s smirking like she just won a big case in court. We manage to see some manatees and a couple alligators which excited everyone on board but other than that the wildlife has been pretty chill tonight. Kellan turns out to be a pretty cool guy and King, when not staring at Alexa’s ass, isn’t as creepy as he came off the first time I met him. When we park at the dock, King’s so latched on to Alexa that Levi has to practically pull him off the boat and I wait for the group to head to their cars before I start my checklist.
Alexa hasn’t said anything yet, and I’m not sure if I want her to. Everyone saw that exchange between my sister and Levi and everyone there knows what’s going on between Levi and I. And if it’s not embarrassing enough, the minute I’m finally done with everything I need to do Levi’s nowhere to be found. He fucking disappeared!
This is a hot damn mess.
My phone chimes as I’m locking up the building and Alexa waves from her car before she pulls away.
Levi: I had to get King out of there before he became more addicted to your friend. I’ve never seen the guy care about a girl like this, lol!
I giggle. I definitely saw the attraction there, but from what I know of King I wouldn’t want Alexa anywhere in his path.
Me: All good. I hope it was an okay time.
I groan and swipe my hand down my face. I don’t remember half the tour. Thank God Alexa was there or it would have been so much more awkward. I was more on autopilot, taking the boat where it needed to go and making sure I gave them an amazing view of the forest.
Easy peasy usually, but tonight it felt like the hardest thing in the world to do with a smile on my face. It felt like I was swallowing knives every time I looked at my sister and the smirk on her face as she watched Levi.
What the hell’s gotten into her lately? And why isn’t she back at work yet? She hasn’t even been working that much from my house at night. Granted, she’s probably doing lots of work during the day, but evening time she seems obsessed with having ‘sister time.’ And it’s driving me crazy!
Levi texts again as I’m getting in my car to head home for the night.
Levi: It was amazing. I’m heading to dinner with your sister right now but I want you in my bed tonight. So make plans to be gone all night.
I grin and bite my lip, typing out my response.
Me: I’m telling her tomorrow. This is too much to handle. I’d rather it all be out in the open and deal with it than keep hiding it.
Levi: I agree. I love you, Finley.
Me: I love you, too <3
Smiling, I put my phone in my purse and go to start my car but it doesn’t turn over.
“No,” I groan. “Not today. Come on.” This car’s gotten me through a hundred thousand miles of life. It’s been paid off for two months! I need it to last longer!
I try a few more times but it doesn’t even attempt to turn over.
Fuck!
A knock on my window makes me jump and I see Anders smiling face.
“I was taking a walk along the shore. It’s beautiful out here.” He smiles again and it relaxes me slightly. “You having issues?”
“Yep,” I say, popping my door open. “It won’t start.” I groan and curse.
“Pop the hood, let’s see what’s going on.” He heads for the front of the car.
“You don’t have to do that. I can…figure it out…” I grimace at the engine as he opens the hood. I can’t figure it out. But I probably could at least Google it…
“Shut up and try turning the key.” He leans under the hood and I slide back in, putting the key in and turning for nothing to happen.
“It’s not even trying,” I say.
“I think it’s just your battery.” He walks around to the door and leans on it. “I’ll take you to the store and we can grab you another one if you want. Get it installed and you’ll be out of here in no time and back to Levi’s bedroom.” He smirks at me and my cheeks heat up in embarrassment. “Hey, no need to be shy with me. That man loves you. I’m jealous of what you two have.”
“Yeah.” I grab my purse and slam the door. “Well, don’t be. Love doesn’t make your sister okay with what’s going on between her little sister and her best friend.”
He barks out a laugh, that bright white smile appearing making me feel a little less angry about a dead battery. Things could always be worse, right?
“Hey now, I take offense to that. She may have been the childhood best friend but I’m the current. And I say you two are perfect for each other.”
He unlocks his truck and I climb in, shutting the door behind me and lying my head against the headrest. Life was so much easier without Levi back in it.
But it wasn’t near as fun.
“Thanks. Let’s hope Kat feels the same way.” I let out a heavy sigh and try not to think about what’s going on at that dinner between them right now.
“You mind if we head back to the house real fast? I forgot my wallet earlier and I feel like a dick driving you around without it.” He makes a face at me and I laugh.
“Oh my God you’re insane. Go. And please don’t get pulled over. You want me to drive?”
“Nah. It’s fine. But I feel like I’ve pushed my luck too much already today. Better not risk it with a pretty girl in the truck.” He smiles at me and I shake my head. Anders radiates charm and I don’t even think he tries.
Just like Levi.
When we make it back to their place I head inside to use the bathroom while he runs upstairs to grab his wallet.
Voices from Levi’s room bring me to a halt. Not just any voice, either.
My sister’s voice.
In his room? Why the hell is she in his room? I thought they were going out to dinner?
I hear Levi curse and my stomach rolls. When Kat mumbles something there’s a crash in the room I’m frozen to my spot. My sister’s in his room? I shake my head and feel the tears threatening. What the hell are they doing in there?
“I’m sorry,” Kat says. It sounds like she’s crying. What the hell is going on? I watch Anders come downstairs and he stops when he hears the conversation, too.
“Finley, come on.” Anders tugs on my arm but I pin him with a glare and shove my finger to his lips. Shut the fuck up. He’s looking at me with nothing but pity in his eyes. I want to run into the room to get answers…but I don’t. I can’t move.
“I can’t believe this.” I hear Levi’s voice and my stomach drops. Can’t believe what?!
“Honestly, Levi, what’s it hurt? It’s perfect!”
“Kat!” Levi shouts and I hear something slam and wince. “This isn’t okay! Holy fuck. I’ve been so fucking stupid.”
What the fuck?
“Am I really that bad!?” Kat’s cry makes my eyebrows push together in confusion.
I hear Levi curse and I know I should leave. I should leave with my heart hammering out of my chest and this feeling of needing to vomit. But I don’t.
“You’re not bad!” Levi shouts. “Fuck, Katherine.” When he uses her full name my eyes go wide. No one calls her by that. “We’re married!”
I’m having a hard time deciphering his tone with the spinning of the room and the ringing in my ears.
Married? Levi and my sister?
What?
My knees go weak and I whimper. Anders curses and shakes his head at the tears welling in my eyes.
“Married?” I whimper, looking up at Anders. “He’s married?”
“Mother fucker,” he growls then manages to pull me out of the house before I can hear the rest of the conversation.
“He’s married?” I whisper while sitting in Anders’ truck cab. I want to walk back in there and ask him what the fuck is wrong with him. I want to punch him. I want to slap my sister.
I want answers.
I want to be able to feel my body. But I can’t. Everything’s numb.
“Goddammit, Finley, I’m sorry, I had no clue. He’s never mentioned your sister or any relationship with her. This is all news to me, too.” He chuckles and curses, rubbing his jaw. “Fuck.”
“Can you just take me…somewhere. Anywhere but here? I don’t even feel like fixing my car right now.” I feel like crying because I’ve been so fucking stupid. Anders’ engine roars to life and I buckle my seatbelt, numb and yet somehow feeling like a knife’s been shoved in my heart.
“Let’s get your car fixed. Then we can grab some coffee or something,” he mumbles and I nod silently, feeling like my body’s been put on autopilot to save itself from more hurt. “Maybe this is news to him, too. I’ve known the guy for years and he’s never mentioned Kat like that at all. Let him cool off and we’ll figure it out.”
I blink, looking at him. That’s the stupidest excuse I’ve ever heard. Who doesn’t know they’re married?
“Just help me fix my car and I won’t be a bother to you anymore. I promise you that.” I pull out my phone and shoot Alexa a text that I need to crash at her place for a few days.
At least until my sister leaves.
Anders curses and pulls away from the curb. I glance back at the house and the last thing I see before we pull away is the two of them running out of the front door and Levi’s eyes latching onto me as we drive away.
A half hour ago I thought things could always be worse.
Well… I’ve hit that point. Not much gets worse than realizing the man you’re in love with is already married… to your sister.