Chapter 1
Finley
Five years later
Boxes.
I hate packing. I hate clothes. I have too many things to pack away. When I decided to haul ass to Florida for this job, I didn’t consider everything I would be bringing with me. Who needs a shelf full of old snow globes in Florida? Maybe I could leave them here.
“Mom, you’re not going to care if we just leave this the way it is, right?” I throw my hands to my hips and turn to look at her. My mother cocks her head and gives it a little shake.
“Bring it or Goodwill it. I’m taking this room back as my office.” She pats my shoulder and takes a deep breath. I know she’s worried about this move. I know she’d rather I stay here, close to home, but I can’t. This is too good of a job to pass up. This is the exact reason I went to school and will be paying off student loans for the rest of my life.
“Fine,” I mutter, tossing them in my box. I don’t have the energy right now to decide what part of my past I’m going to throw away. I love these snow globes. My dad would buy them for me each holiday, each birthday, each graduation. Any reason he could get me one he would. He had to build these shelves in my room just to support all of them.
I hear my mom sigh and turn around. The worry lines crease her face and I pause, connecting my gaze with hers. Words aren’t needed. She knows she can’t keep me here, and I know I need to go. But that doesn’t help the pit of my stomach feeling like fire because I’m leaving her alone. Guilt. I hate guilt.
“You’re going to do great things, Finley,” she says, pushing her lips together.
“You can visit whenever you want. A free stay on the beach.” I give her a brave smile and she lets out a soft laugh.
“I’ll be okay here. Don’t worry about me.” She sighs heavy and nods. “I think I need a break.” I watch as she turns and walks out of the room and stand there, in my bedroom, staring at the carpet.
I decided this.
I’m the one leaving to better my life.
I shouldn’t feel guilty.
This is my childhood home. Sure, I’m in my mid twenties and just now moving out, but when cancer took my dad three years ago I never even considered leaving my mom. I had just graduated college when he got sick. I moved back here immediately. His death hit me hard, but it hit her harder. There was no way in hell I would have left her back then. So I stayed. I stayed here and I took care of her when she needed me just like she took care of me every time I needed her growing up. Now she’s going to be alone for the first time in her life and I worry she’s going to fall back into the depression she worked so hard to claw herself out of.
When my dad got sick my mom was the strongest person I’ve ever met. Their love was a love that I know I’ll never have. That type of love doesn’t happen anymore, people don’t stay in love. They don’t stay attracted to one another. I’ve seen too many of my friends parents fall into the trap of thinking they have their HEA then BAM! Divorce.
My parents were the exception to that rule. They loved hard each and every day of their lives. Sure they fought, but what couple doesn’t? What made them work was the fact that they made up after every fight, whether or not they agreed with each other. My dad gave me two key pieces of advice on his death bed.
One: Don’t settle. Live your dreams and don’t let anyone or anything stop you.
And two: Don’t go to bed angry.
Those words have stuck with me since that horrible day. That’s why when the phone call came and I was offered the job at the Florida Everglades Parks and Recreation Department, I knew what I had to do.
I had to say yes. I had to move.
So here I stand. In the bedroom I’ve lived in since I was born. The bedroom that I could come home to when I was in college just to get away from the sorority drama.
The bedroom that I now lay awake in at night, staring at the ceiling, wondering what’s going to happen with my life. A new city. Hell, a new state. No friends. No family.
Just me.
“I’m making some lunch, you hungry?” My mom pops her head around the corner and just the thought of food makes my stomach growl loudly.
“Yeah, thanks,” I say, grabbing another snow globe off the wall and glancing at it before putting it in the box.
A small smile plays on my lips at the memory.
***
“Fin! We’re heading out, will you be okay for a little bit?” Kat, my sister, swings my door open and I twist off my bed like I wasn’t just staring at the latest One Direction video on my laptop on repeat, dreaming of a date with Harry Styles.
I glance at the boy behind her and have to look away.
Levi Walsh.
Her best friend. I’m only two years younger than them but just the height on this guy makes me feel like he’s way older than us. He’s nice. I think my sister likes him more than just friends but who am I to say? I’m just the awkward teenager with a boy band obsession.
“I’m fine,” I snip defensively.
She walks in when her eyes hit my computer screen.
“Fin, what are you watching?” She spins the laptop before I can stop her and starts to laugh, glancing back at Levi. “God, I’m glad we have better taste in music than this shit.”
His eyebrows pinch together briefly before masking the typical unfazed look he wears. Levi’s been my sister’s best friend since I can remember so I should feel more like a sister to him than anything…but I don’t. I don’t look at him as a brother, because I’m fairly certain girls aren’t supposed to have crushes on their brothers.
“Go,” I blurt. “Get out of my room!”
She laughs and pushes him out but not before I notice him glancing around the room and his eyes land on the snow globes.
“Nice collection,” he says with Kat’s hands on his back, trying to push him out.
He’s not budging and she’s growing annoyed at this entire situation.
“Thanks,” I mutter, feeling too young. Too naive. Too stupid for him.
His eyes hit mine and for a moment I think he’s going to say something else but he doesn’t. He smiles briefly before pacifying my sister and walking out, closing the door behind them.
I wish he would have just said it…
I spend the rest of the day in my room, definitely not watching One Direction videos or doing anything that would make me seem like a stupid, young girl. I paint my toes, shave my legs, toss on a dress, and decide tonight I’m going to go to the movies.
With myself.
Girls can do that!
As I’m texting my mom to let her know where I’ll be, there’s a knock on my bedroom door.
“Yeah?” I call out, tucking a stray piece of hair behind my ear as I check my makeup in the mirror.
Okay, so maybe wearing makeup and a dress just to go to the movies is a little extreme, but whatever. Mandi Baun said that girls need to look like this when they go out if they ever want to get a boyfriend. I want a boyfriend…
The door flings open and where I expect to see my mom or dad standing, Levi’s there. With a box in his hands.
“I thought you were with Kat,” I say, confused why he’s in my room without her. He and I get along but it’s always just a passing ‘hey’ or ‘how’s it going’ on his way to hang out with my sister. He’s not mean, just quiet.
“Uh…” His eyes flick to the box then to me and they widen a bit. “Where are you going looking like that?” He steps into my room and my stomach flutters. Levi Walsh. In my room. I’m sixteen! And there’s a senior boy in my room! A senior boy that looks like…him!
“I’m going to a movie.” I cross my arms in front of me then notice his eyes flick to my chest and heat rises to my cheeks.
“With a date?” I can’t tell the tone he’s using but I think I like it.
“No. By myself.” I shrug and nod towards the box in his hands. “You want me to give that to Kat for you?”
“Oh, um…” He sets it on my desk. “It’s just something I had at home. Thought you’d like it.” He smiles briefly before heading back to the door. “And Finley?” I glance up at him, pulling my eyes away from the box, and he looks pointedly at me. “You look good, but I think you look better without all the makeup.” He smirks at me before leaving me alone in my room.
What the hell?
As his words play over and over in my head, I walk over to the box and open it. My heart beats faster as I pull out the silver based snow globe. Inside is a willow tree, detailed to perfection. Each small flick of my wrist sends the snow flowing and the branches swaying. Oh my god.
It’s…perfect.
***
My hand grips the silver base as the willow tree branches sway back and forth and the glitter and flecks floating around settle. I never told him thank you and he never spoke of this again.
God, I wanted him for so long after that. And when the time came in college to finally get what I’d always wanted I took it. Stupidly. I thought he’d call. I thought he’d start coming around more…but he didn’t.
Nothing.
So as much as I wanted my older sister’s best friend, nothing ever came of it. I haven’t seen him in years. He stopped coming to the house after Kat moved out and got her own place. She didn’t talk about him. I didn’t run into him in town.
It was like he disappeared.
And now I’m doing the same thing.
***
Seventeen hours. That’s how long the drive here took and it was grueling. My mom talked the entire way nervously. The car didn’t go over sixty miles per hour because she wanted to save on gas and not get any tickets. I think it was also due to the fact that she knew soon her baby would be leaving the nest for good.
“Thank you, Mom,” I whisper, hugging her tight.
We got here yesterday and unpacked the car then headed to Ikea to fill the apartment with everything else I needed. My mom flies home in the morning and I start my job on Monday so we’ve been working our tails off to get everything settled before I have to begin my life. The apartment complex has an on site laundry room, which was a huge pull to spend the little extra a month in rent for this place.
Oh. And it’s beachside. That may be the reason rent is more than my mom’s mortgage but I can afford it. Working as much as I have since I graduated and living at home has helped give me a pretty big cushion.
I’ll be fine here.
“I wouldn’t have let you do this without me.” She pulls back and smiles a weary smile. “You’re going to do great here, Finley. Your dad would be proud.”
I smile. He would be. I’ve tried to live a life that would make him proud. I was a daddy’s girl to the core. My sister Kat was more of a hermit. She stayed in her room. With her books. Levi was the only person she really let into her life for the longest time until he started pulling her out to social gatherings more, but even then she was still the more focused one between the two of us. She’s a hotshot lawyer back home now and raking in the money. No kids. No pets. One boyfriend I think she’s had a year or so.
Boring.
I‘d rather have this life. Doing what I want. Not worrying about the next big court case. It’s not everyone’s cup of tea, but it damn sure is mine.
My mom and I spend the rest of the day organizing the apartment and building the shelves that she bought me from Ikea. At the end of the day the apartment is finally starting to look like a home. I was worried the white walls wouldn’t allow me to give this place a touch of my own, but with the hanging pictures and furniture it feels more like home than I expected. Now I just need groceries…
My sister calls after my mom’s already in bed for the night so I head out onto the small patio that overlooks the beach. God, I love it here.
“How’s life?” I ask, propping my feet on the table.
“Busy. Crazy. Did you guys get all settled in?” I hear papers rustling in the background and roll my eyes. She’s always busy. That’s just normal for her now.
“Yeah. The place looks good. You should come visit sometime.”
“Yeah, sure. I’ll vacation as soon as pigs fly.” I hear the exhaustion in her voice and sigh.
“Kat, you need a break.” She was a workaholic before our dad died. But since? It’s been bad. She works twelve hour days. She calls on a strict schedule of Saturday night at nine when she’s working from home behind a bottle of wine. Other than that we don’t really hear from her much. I always knew we’d go our separate ways, but I miss my sister sometimes.
“I’m fine.” Her tone’s already annoyed and the phone call just started. Usually I get ten to fifteen minutes before the annoyance sets in. I decide to drop the worried sister game and sigh into the phone.
“You think Mom’s going to be ok, really?”
“I think she’s a big girl and will be perfect. She may actually love the quiet time.”
“Yeah.” I pick at my nail polish.
“What about you? This is the first time you’re truly going to be alone.”
I snort out a laugh and roll my eyes.
“Seriously, you have a way with words, Kat.”
“I mean there’s not going to be family within driving distance to cook you dinner. Or do your laundry,” she teases.
“I’m a fantastic cook,” I mutter, picking at my nail polish more until one nail’s so jacked up I’m going to have to re do my manicure tomorrow. Great. She lets the line fall silent and I hear the shuffling of papers in the background. She’s probably already entered workspace in her head. More than likely she totally forgot we’re on the phone. “Kat?” I blurt loud, then hear her curse.
“Hey. Hi. Sorry,” she sighs. “I’m sorry, Fin.” Her nickname for me makes me smile.
“Hey how was that date last week?” I ignore her forgetting about me and watch as the waves roll onto the shore.
I can’t wait to get out there.
“Oh he was boring,” she says and I can hear the eye roll in her tone.
“Kat, you have to give these guys a chance. You’ve been on like ten dates in the last month?” I hear her laugh and smile.
“I’m not settling. I’m barely looking. I just get set up on these dates. Levi thinks it’s hilarious that I keep accepting them.”
Her mention of Levi makes my stomach flop. She doesn’t know what happened, nor will she ever. I barely hear anything about the guy anymore and that’s the way it’s been for years now. I don’t bring it up and she doesn’t offer too much information. Deep down, I think it’s because I’ve always assumed my sister was holding out for him. That she liked him.
And it bothers me. Even though I know it shouldn’t.
“How’s Levi doing?” I wince the minute the words fall from my lips because I don’t think I’ve ever asked about him.
“Great. Busy I think…” I hear her trail off like she’s only partially listening to what she’s saying.
“Yeah, well you’re not one to talk about being busy. I think you need to stop working so much before you settle down with anyone. Or find a guy that’s okay with raising kids alone.”
“Oh please,” She laughs harder this time. “I’m never creating spawn, Finley. I’ll leave that to you.”
“Hey, never say never.” I start to belt out the lines to the Justin Bieber song and my sister’s laugh gets louder.
“Fine!” She laughs. “Stop. Please, for the love of God stop. I have to get some work done.”
“I love you, big sis.” I bite my nail and stand, stretching out my sore muscles from a weekend of moving.
“I love you more, little sis. Stay out of trouble down there. And I promise the first chance I get I’ll come down.”
“I’m holding you to that.” I smirk and she giggles.
“Bye, Finley.”
“Bye, old hag.” I end the call as her gasp comes over the line and laugh. I love being the shitty little sister sometimes. She shoots me a text with an angry face as soon as I walk in the door and I send back a winky kissy face to which I get an eye roll emoji in return.
I love my sister.
I’d do almost anything for her.
Almost…
***
I wake up four hours before my shift starts on Monday and am ready to go in about a half hour. It’s not a glamorous job like my sister has. It won’t make me near the same amount of money, either. It’s not a job like my mom thought I’d end up taking in business. When people look at me the last thing they expect me to tell them is that I’m a park ranger. I’m not a tomboy like most would expect from a ranger. Not really… I have my days but I still keep the polish on point. My eyebrows are always manicured. I hit the gym or run a mile at least once a day if not more. I’m a girly girl, but that means nothing when it comes to my job.
This is my dream job.
The Florida Everglades.
It’s one my dad always pushed me towards because he knew I’d love it. One I didn’t think I’d ever truly enjoy but did it anyway. One that honestly scares the shit out of me, but without that feeling of uncertainty every day when you come to work, what’s the point?
I couldn’t do a mundane desk job.
Nope. I took a job in the National Parks Department as a park ranger while I was still in college working on my marine science degree. When I moved home I transferred to a local wildlife area that did weekly tours, mostly to the elderly and school field trips. At the time that’s where I needed to be for my mom’s sake, but I’ve always dreamed of something bigger.
Something more.
This is my something.
And to get tossed straight into the boat tours guide right off the bat? There are people that would kill for this job!
I arrived about a half hour ago to finalize some paperwork and have been waiting in this chair ever since. About ten minutes after my shift starts, the door swings open and my boss, Dwayne Miller, walks out of his office and beelines straight for the Greek god who just walked through the door.
Holy mother of good-looking men. Does Florida just breed them or something?
“Finley, this is DJ. DJ, this is Finley. She’ll be riding with you on the boat tours this week. Show her the ropes. When Dave leaves next week we’ll need Finley here up to date on everything.” Dwayne says rapidly, patting me on the back. I smile at DJ who currently looks like he’s sizing up what’s possibly under this uniform.
Either that or he thinks this is a big joke. I wasn’t lying when I said I don’t look the part. I was warned when finishing up my degree and going out into the work force that it’d be hard for a ‘woman like me’ to be taken seriously. They told me the day would eventually come. The day a fellow co-worker sizes you up and makes a rash judgment call before even getting to know you.
People judge books by their covers all the time.
“Hi,” I say, jutting my hand out to shake his. He takes mine in his softly and slowly shakes it while I make sure to give him a firm grasp and a ‘fuck you too’ glance. I can do this job.
“Nice to meet you.” He smirks at me and looks at Dwayne. “Uh…can I talk to you?”
“Shoot, kid.” Dwayne seems like a no nonsense type of guy, so when he crosses his arms in front of him like he’s ready to hear whatever DJ has to throw at him I watch DJ roll his eyes.
“Privately?” He glances at me and shrugs apologetically. “We’ll only be a minute. Then we’ll uh… I’ll show you the ropes.” He tries not to laugh and I watch Dwayne lead DJ to the offices. No one else is around so as DJ gets off his chest whatever he needs to, I strain my ears enough to catch the end of the conversation.
“There can’t be anything in that head. We can’t put her on a boat!” DJ is hissing at Dwayne and I tighten my fists at my side.
“I didn’t think you, of all people, would care about appearances.” I hear the humor in my boss’s tone and smirk. DJ is the epitome of cute college frat boy but not once did I think he wasn’t smart enough for this job. Hell, I’ve done more research on this area in the last few years than most people who live here do all their lives. I know the wildlife like the back of my hand.
“I just don’t want the job filled with someone who’s not qualified. Sam would have been thrilled for this position.”
I don’t know who Sam is, but screw DJ for thinking I’m not good enough for this position.
“Sam has a job already.” Dwayne clips. “Why don’t you get out there and do yours before I have to replace another ranger.”
I smirk and step to the other side of the room, pretending to be reading some of the pamphlets and acting like I didn’t just overhear my current mentor bitching that I’m not smart enough.
“Ready?” DJ’s fake smile is plastered on his face. A face that’s chiseled and a pointed nose looking down on me like he’s been assigned a babysitting position.
“Yep.” I grab my bag and follow him out the door.
Here’s to new beginnings and showing this guy I’m capable of doing this job better than he is.
***
It’s been a month of being in this position. A month of some of the best, most entertaining work I’ve ever done. I miss home only when I’m back at the apartment for the evening or on my days off when I have nothing to do. I’m learning how to explore the islands better on boat and my co-pilot for most of the tours is pretty awesome. After the first week with DJ, which was excruciatingly painful, I was placed on a boat with a guy named Bran and as boring as his name is he’s anything but. I spend most my days laughing at his antics and exploring the Everglades wildlife in all its glory. No two days the same and there’s no way to predict what each day is going to bring.
It’s amazing.
Tonight I’m going out with Bran and a few other workers to a beachside bar that’s supposed to have the best Mai Tai’s in the country. I haven’t gone out like this since I got here so it’s a welcome change from sitting at home alone on a Saturday night.
“To Finley!” Bran says and I roll my eyes. “The first beauty to put DJ in his place!”
The table full of workers starts laughing and everyone cheers to it. DJ’s sitting at the other end of the table from me and he rolls his eyes, taking in the joke nicely but I can tell he still doesn’t appreciate it. He’s right, though. I’m confident that I’ve shown just how useful I am to have around. And I haven’t got lost once yet.
“Okay, okay, enough.” He takes a swig of his beer. “I’m glad you haven’t failed yet, Finley.” He nods towards me and I smirk.
“And I’m glad to see you got the stick out of your ass,” I bite back and my eyes go wide when the table erupts in laughter.
“She’s funny too!” Bran laughs. “Damn, I love this girl.” He wraps an arm around me and I roll my eyes, grinning.
I feel like I’m finally making decent friends here. Living the life I’ve always wanted to live. It’s easy to feel comfortable around this crew of people. They’re down to earth, minus DJ who seems to be on his own planet, and they’re typically genuinely nice people who always have your back.
Again. Minus DJ.
“Why don’t you have a boyfriend?” DJ speaks up about five rounds of Mai Tai’s later. I narrow my eyes at him across the table and I hear someone next to me snicker.
“Why do you care?” I swear the more I drink the better he looks. I mean, he’s cute. I knew that from day one. But tonight these beer goggles I’m wearing are making him ten times cuter.
I need to get out of here before I make a huge mistake.
“I don’t care.” He leans forward on the table and pins me with those green eyes, like there’s no one else sitting here with us. “It just doesn’t make sense. I’ve been trying to figure it out since you got here. What beauty like you in their mid-twenties moves across the country on her own without any strings attached to a guy back home? There’s got to be something wrong with you.”
I don’t know why but it feels like he just slapped me across the face. I’ve never liked being categorized by my looks and while I thought he’s changed in the last month it turns out all he’s been doing is looking for my fault line.
Too bad for him I don’t have one.
“There’s nothing wrong with me.” I shoot to stand up and have to grip the table when the room spins. “And you know nothing about me.” I push my chair back and turn to head for the bathroom to calm myself down. He’s drunk and he’s an asshole. I’ve known the asshole part since I showed up but he’s usually better at keeping tabs on his behavior around others. Or so I thought. The room spins again and I sigh. These drinks must be stronger than I originally thought. “I have to go pee,” I mutter.
“Me too,” Alexa blurts, smiling softly at me. “Girls gotta go in pairs, right?”
I like Alexa. She’s nice and sweet and doesn’t judge me. Honestly, she’s the only girl friend I’ve had since being here. She’s the complete opposite of me. Short spiky black hair and pitch black eye liner every day of the week. Sometimes I think it’s tattooed on because I’ve never caught her with it off.
She’s spunky. And brilliant. And has no fear.
When the hurricane ripped through this area two months ago I heard she was out on her boat, watching it roll in, ready to go out and save whatever marine wildlife that needed saving. Her house was flooding while she was out on the choppy waters making sure she could help in any way possible.
She’s a good person.
“He’s an asshole,” she says as we wash our hands and fix our makeup in the mirror.
“Yep.” I don’t want to trash talk him, but God he pisses me off!
“He hit on me within the first twenty four hours when I started.” She laughs. “He got me drunk at a party my first night here! I all but broke his fingers off when he tried making a move. Don’t worry about him, everyone here knows he’s a sexist pig.” She nudges me and I smile.
“Thanks. He’s just so…”
“Judgy? Yes. Sexist? Absolutely. But smart?” She groans. “He’s too good at this job and he knows it. That’s one of the many reasons they keep him around. Pisses me off.”
“We’re just as good as he is.” I furrow my brows. “I’ve never worked with someone like him before. And everyone else in the department is really down to earth and nice. Why’s he like that?”
“His dad’s on the local board of trustees. He knows he’s hot shit.”
“Yeah, well he isn’t.” I roll my eyes as we head back to the table.
“No he isn’t.” Her phone rings in her clutch and she squeals. “I’m sorry.” She laughs. “It’s my boyfriend. I have to take this! I’ll meet you at the table.”
I laugh and watch her skip out of the building, then round the corner, bracing myself to stand up to the pig. He’s going to have to get used to working with someone who doesn’t back down from him.
“Squirt?” I hear my childhood nickname blurted from behind me and my skin immediately prickles. No one here knows that nickname.
But I know that voice.
A voice that I’ve daydreamed about for years. A voice that belongs to a man that I’ve wanted for as long as I can remember.
Levi Walsh.