Parking his truck outside the Cut Bank Airstrip hangar, Logan alighted from his truck and walked inside the small office. Gus had called him an hour earlier reporting a tourist wanted to book a helicopter tour of the mountains. Initially telling Gus he wasn’t available, Gus begged, saying the tourist was only in town for one day.

The office was empty but as he walked toward the hangar, he noticed a woman standing near his helicopter. Closing the distance, his heart began to pound and his lungs felt as though he were gasping for air. Long, dark, silky hair, gently blowing in the breeze. Navy corduroy pants, paired with a light blue sweater. Black boots. Petite body that he knew fit perfectly with his.

As he approached, he noted the tentative smile darting about her lips and her hands twisting together. Gazing into her eyes, her nervousness was palpable. Stopping a few feet away, he drank her in but, not knowing why she was here, he held back from pulling her into his arms.

They stood, silent for a moment, as though both afraid to speak. Finally, giving in, he simply breathed, “Viv.”

She immediately pressed her lips together tightly, before sucking in a deep breath and letting it out slowly. “I thought this would be easier,” she said, blinking several times as she breathed in and out.

His brow furrowed in silent questioning.

“Seeing you again, that is.”

“I take it you’re the tourist who asked to be taken up?”

Her slight smile slipped. “Yes. I’m sorry for the subterfuge. I just wasn’t sure how to find you…and Gus is very tight-lipped about where you live.”

Dropping his chin, he shook his head. Of all the times for Gus to get protective. Lifting his head, he held her gaze. “It’s fine, Viv. I’m really glad to see you.” Seeing her uncertain smile again, he wondered about her motive. “Uh…did you want to talk…or uh…?”

“Yes, very much. I’d like some…um…I need some closure.”

“Oh. Yeah…sure.” His mind raced as to where they could talk, but the idea of her forever-goodbye hitting him while standing on the airfield of Cut Bank gutted him. Knowing it was a mistake, he said, “How about I take you back to my place…just to talk. It’s private…uh…”

“I can follow you,” she said. “I’ve got a rental.”

He turned and saw a small, black, energy efficient rental. Looking so much like what she drove in Alaska, he closed his eyes at the memory. Nodding, he agreed, knowing it would be best for him not to have to drive her back to town after their goodbye.

Ten minutes later, he climbed out of his truck and watched as she pulled up next to him. He walked over and opened her door, offering his hand as she stepped out. The electricity from her fingertips to his had them both staring at their hands for a moment before their gazes jumped back up. Knowing this would be the last time her hand would be in his, he entwined his fingers with hers and led her toward his front porch. He felt a gentle tug and looked down, relieved she was not trying to disengage his hand, but was instead staring off into the distance, the first real smile on her face since he had seen her at the airfield.

“Oh, my,” Vivian breathed, her eyes filled with the wonderment of the Montana terrain. “This is breathtaking. To think that you look at this every day. Every sunrise and sunset. Wow.” Giving her head a small shake, bringing her mind back to her personal mission, she blushed as she quickly continued along with him to the front porch.

Throwing open the door, Logan led her inside, giving her the view of his open, but warm, living space and the minimal, but comfortable, furnishings. Offering her a seat on the sofa, he reluctantly let go of her hand as he headed to the kitchen, grabbing two beers before walking back to her. Choosing to stay close, no matter how much her words were going to hurt, he chose to sit on the sofa, twisting his body so that he faced her.

Taking a long swig, she looked down for a moment, gathering her courage.

“Viv, you came a long way to talk to me…or to tell me something. I’m gonna let you take your time…say whatever you need. You can call the shots.” Steeling himself for her anger, he sucked in a deep breath.

“I…I got sick when I got back from Alaska,” she began, forcing herself to stare into his eyes. “It must have happened when I was cleaning up, although with so much bleach, I have no idea how. I handled the plastic bag afterward…that must have been it.”

“I am so sorry—”

“No, no. I mean, it’s not your fault. It certainly proved what we knew could happen as far as biological terrorism.” Snorting, she added, “In fact, they used me to study what drugs worked best and how to contain contamination.” Giving a slight shrug, she said, “I became another DHS biological test.”

“Oh, shit, Viv…”

Unable to hold back a rueful chuckle, she smiled, and he felt the punch to his gut. He had woken up to that smile for weeks and had missed it for months.

“Anyway, I’m all better…no lasting side effects or anything.” They sat in silence again for a few minutes, before she continued, “Uh…I’m also in counseling. For…well, for everything.” She lifted her gaze back to his and said, “My supervisor said it was mandatory for me to keep my job and, let’s face it, I needed it. So, I’ve been seeing someone who works with former military personnel. They understand PTSD.”

His heart ached at her words. He knew what she went through, but hearing her speak of it, pierced straight through him.

“But, I’m actually doing really well,” she admitted, with a small smile. “I don’t have nightmares anymore…well, at least only rarely, and when I do, I know several techniques for calming myself.”

“I’m glad,” he said, sincerity filling his voice. “I never meant for any of that to happen, Viv. None of it—”

She leaned forward, placing her hand on his arm, giving a little squeeze. “Oh, Logan, I know. None of it was your fault. You had a job…I know that.” Swallowing deeply, she said, “I’m not here to make you feel guilty. I’m here because my therapist told me I had one more thing I needed to take care of and that was to face you. The way things ended…well, I had no closure.”

“And that’s why you’re here? Closure?” he asked, thinking his heart could not take any more pain, but determined to let her have what she needed.

She nodded slowly as she said, “I need you to hear me out, please.” Seeing him give a quick nod, she continued, “I’m not sorry at all that I took the assignment. The truth of the matter is, I was bored just working in a lab and, even as scary as it got, I needed to see how my work has meaning when faced with how terrorists can use biological warfare. It opened my eyes.”

Sucking in a deep breath, she added, “But on a personal level…the way things ended…it was all so…” Huffing, she grimaced. “I’ve practiced what I was going to say so much and now that I’m here facing you, my words all seem so stupid.”

Reaching over to take her hand, he rubbed his thumb over her soft skin, and prodded, “Just say whatever it is, Viv. I know I deserve whatever you’ve got to say…whatever you’ve got to get off your chest.”

Her head turned swiftly, confusion in her eyes. “I was going to say that I felt so connected to you, it wasn’t like we had to play the part of being a couple. And well, I fell for you. Truly, honestly, fell for you.”

His hand stilled as he jerked his head to the side, but before he could speak, she continued. “It’s just that, at the end, when you had to do your job and then everything went crazy with them, I felt like we didn’t get our chance to tell each other how we really felt. It was all so much about the mission…and needed to be…but,” she shrugged, “I’ve felt for months like so many things went unsaid.”

Pushing her shoulders back, she steeled her spine, holding his gaze. “So that’s what I came to say. I fell in love with you in Alaska and I’m not sorry at all. I just didn’t get a chance to tell you how I felt. I once told you I was holding out for a hero and that hero was you. That’s still true.” Her shoulders hunched slightly, as her voice took with a sad quality. “My counselor said that I need to face the fact that I was grieving lost love as much as the PTSD and I should come, face you, so at least I will have said it instead of holding it all in.”

Seeing the tick in his jaw, she smiled gently, reaching up to cup his stubbled cheek. “Please don’t feel the need to say anything…I don’t want anything from you other than the chance to have seen you one last time. Thank you for letting me get my feelings out.” Standing, she slid her purse strap on her shoulder and walked toward the door.

Dizzy with emotions, he stood quickly, calling out, “You loved me?”

Turning, her gaze sought his and she nodded slowly. “Yes. That’s why I needed to come see you. To know for sure that I’ve told you how I felt and then hopefully I’ll be able to move on from this.”

“Why do you want to move on?”

Her brow furrowed, she tilted her head as she said, “I need to move on, Logan. What happened in Alaska happened. But I know it’s over. The mission…us…it’s over. Staying in love with a man who doesn’t reciprocate that love isn’t healthy.”

“But you only told me how you felt,” he accused gently. “You didn’t ask me how I felt.”

Pinching her lips together, she stared without saying anything.

“I went to Alaska to do a mission. One mission. Find the terrorist cell. Work with a biologist to determine what they were up to. And when I had the evidence, terminate them. That was it.” Spreading his hand out from his body, he said, “But I never counted on falling in love with you.”

She gasped as her eyes widened, but she remained silent.

“Living with you…laughing with you…hell, just being with you was more than I ever expected. And came to be all I wanted.” Letting out a shaky breath, he said, “But when it got right down to it, I was afraid. I hated to think of you knowing what I had to do. I hated to think of how you would look at me. And so, I took the chicken-shit way out. I pushed you away, instead of telling you the truth and then letting you figure out if you could still care for me.”

Vivian faced him fully now, her purse dropping to the floor as she wrapped her arms protectively around her middle. “I was scared. Never scared of you, but I admit, knowing what you had to do unnerved me. I didn’t stop loving you,” she admitted, “but I wish we had had time to talk about us. Everything went to hell so quickly, I didn’t know how to cope.”

Shaking his head sadly, he said, “Me neither. I pushed you away to protect you, but all I did was make you feel rejected. I’m sorry, Viv. So fuckin’ sorry.”

Her chin dropped and she stared at her boots for a moment, then lifted her head, her eyes full of determination. “So, what now?”

A slow smile spread across his face as he asked, “Do you still love me?”

Her mouth opened and closed several times.

“Simple question, Viv. Do you still love me?”

She nodded, slowly at first, afraid and uncertain. Seeing his smile widen, she said, “Yes. I never stopped loving you.”

“Then what are you doing on the other side of the room?”

“Wondering about you,” she said, her words barely above a whisper.

“I never stopped loving you either,” he said. Opening his arms wide, she darted forward, jumping into his embrace. The feel of her body pressed against his, with arms wrapped around her, was achingly familiar and unconditionally needed.