Chapter 15
“We were horrible people,” I state quietly to myself.
Apparently not quietly enough, since it causes Jude to jerk awake beside me on the floor-pallet-bed the five of us fell asleep on in the living room last night.
He groans when he looks at the time, and his arm tightens around me as he pulls me away from Gage a little.
“What the hell are you doing up so early after drinking all night?” he grumbles around a yawn.
He dozes back off, saving me the trouble of confessing my new obsession.
I flip the page on the book I’m reading—the book I spilled my blood on to make words appear.
It’s a very dirty retelling of how we fell in love in the life I had as a Duchess, who didn’t know she was quite so into debauchery when she was an innocent virgin the Duke—also known as Nicholai/Gage—forced her to marry him.
My gaze flicks over to Gage, wondering if he’d have a memory echo or whatever if I made myself look like this little drawing. Maybe all of them would.
Count Lavelle, also known as War—aka Ezekiel—was the first one to come in and defile the Duchess after the Duke gave his blessing. She really liked the way he just took her without warning.
The Duke watched, made her think it was him fucking her so hard from behind, when it was really the Count. My legs press together, and Jude tenses from beside me.
“What are you reading?” he asks, rousing from his sleep a little more.
“Go back to sleep,” I say in deflection, reading on as two Earls, who I’m assuming must be Jude and Kai, come to take their turn with their friend’s new wife.
As mortals, they could have any woman any time, it seems. But even with no prior knowledge of who I was or who they were, we all ended up in our little circle. I say circle, because reading all these has led me to believe we’re an endless line that is seamlessly tied together and ever circulating.
The part where the Duke holds his wife down for the two Earls to take their turns is wrongly turning me on. I can get an image of how confused I’d be if I couldn’t remember them, yet feel like it was so wrong to easily give into this.
They’d make me take it, knowing I’d want it, even without knowing me. They did make me take it. Over and over, and apparently I secretly loved it, even as I fought them as hard as I could.
It’s disturbingly wrong, which makes sense. I’m the Devil’s daughter.
That thought has marinated during the entire time I’ve been reading, reevaluating every active thought I’ve had.
We all fell in love eventually in this story. I skipped to the end, just to make sure, then went back to the beginning.
Well, the guys just have a strong bond in friendship, and they love each other like brothers. Kind of disappointing. I was hoping for some guy-on-guy action, even though I’ve never seen them cross that line before.
But they all love me. And I love all of them.
Yet we always sort of hate each other to start out with. At least a little.
It’s pretty hot when you read about it instead of feeling the frustration when it’s actually going on. I really want to slap them while reading the story about the Duchess. At least in the beginning.
Gage mutters something beside me in his sleep, moving closer as I fan myself and continue reading.
I have to quit reading this. Right now, with all that’s going on, sex doesn’t need to be on my mind. They didn’t even kiss me after we returned from hell, so I’m assuming they’re prioritizing as well, even though they did give me the night off to watch movies and sink into a silent stupor.
When I woke up at three this morning, I started reading. And haven’t stopped.
Do you know who my mother is?
No? Well, that’s because the Devil is an overachiever and had me on his own, and not in the way one might think. I was never really a child nor was I born. I was created.
I’m a manifestation of impurities and purities, then given a drop of Lucifer’s blood so I could take form. I’m apparently the most successful blending of the children because of my incomparable balance. My presence doesn’t hinder the balance topside no matter what day it is.
I’m a neutral entity. A weapon. A being who isn’t really supposed to have any personality at all, according to the original plan. I’m supposed to be cold logic and firm dictation.
Epic. Fail.
Lust is one of those impurities of mine. Love is one of the purities. Envy, of course, is an impurity. Greed is unsurprisingly not one of my impurities. I knew I wasn’t greedy. I’ve been telling the guys this, but they never listen.
They still haven’t bought me the gifts they bought those other women. Being covetous is certainly one of my impurities.
My entire thought process is making more and more sense the more I learn about my genetic makeup. It’s logically sound to dissect myself more now.
Not to mention, I’m inherently easily distracted, like all of the children, it seems. We like shiny things, booze, violence and sex. We don’t do serious very well.
Blowing out a breath, I decide to continue reading about the Duchess after all, and blame my easily distracted mind on Daddy Issues or genetic makeup.
Unlike in this life, they didn’t avoid sex with me in this retelling. They took it. Made me want them as much as I hated them. My body stayed on fire because they were constantly driving me over the edge.
In one chapter, I spent two days tied to a bed as they took their turns, bringing me to so many orgasms that I seemed to float off into a transcendent head space.
“Totally gipped in this life,” I mutter under my breath, flipping the page.
This chapter might be my favorite, because in it, I struggle with a conscience, telling myself it’s wrong to love all four psychos. Me. The Devil’s daughter.
Apparently I only had a conscience when mortal. I’m sure that was quite the annoying thing to suffer through.
Weirdly, I remember expecting to have a conscience when I first started coming about. I knew it was wrong to watch them in their most private of moments.
I thought I just learned not to care. But nope. I just finally crossed a line and never felt guilty about it. Because guilt isn’t one of my purities. And a conscience doesn’t exist for this hell spawn.
Obviously, the Duchess version of me was also clueless about her origins, and she’d been raised in societal norms where letting four very corrupt men have their wicked way with your body at their leisure while your husband allowed it was not very ladylike.
So she runs, trying to escape them.
My lips curl into a grin when they find her within a day, and they punish her by taking turns as she fights against them, trying to resist, but unable to really do so in her mind.
Spoiler alert: That’s when she finally admits she loves them and accepts the fact she’s just as dark and twisted as the four of them.
My eyes close as the book comes down to my chest, and I imagine what it would be like for one of them to hold my shoulders down, two of them to hold my legs open, and then take turns on who fucks me into submission.
Everything inside me clenches, and a moan slips out of me.
The book is suddenly snatched out of my hand, and my eyes fly open as I scramble to grab it back from Gage as he jumps to his feet.
Jude snatches me at the waist, dragging me back down and holding me to him, as Kai’s mouth goes to mine.
“Hurry and see what it’s about while she’s distracted,” Ezekiel says as Kai kisses me stupid.
Jude’s fingers are sliding up my side in the T-shirt I fashioned before bedtime. All the sensations are definitely distracting.
“Damn,” Gage says under his breath. “We were twisted fucks in this life, and she apparently really likes it.”
Kai breaks the kiss, a dark grin on his lips, and I jerk my head over to where Gage is grinning mockingly at me.
“This could work out with what we planned,” Gage goes on, tossing the book to Ezekiel.
Kai is on me again, ripping me away from Jude, and coming down on top of me as his lips crash to mine once more.
I moan into his mouth as he shoves my legs apart, making room for himself.
“How twisted?” Kai asks, biting down on my bottom lip.
“Very fucking twisted,” Ezekiel says on a shuddering breath, his voice thick with a reflection of the same twisted desire.
We should probably not be feeling so good about being evil. It probably upsets someone’s balance somehow.
In the next instant, Kai is shoved off, and the book is pushed into his chest as Ezekiel takes his place on top of me.
I’m in a haze of sensation, pulling E down to me so I can soothe some of the ache I’ve been left with.
He kisses me hungrily, groaning into my mouth as he rips me up from the floor. When he starts walking, carrying me in the process, my legs wrap around his waist.
Breaking the kiss, I pull back to look at him, seeing the other guys have disappeared.
“Don’t stop, and you’ll be my new favorite,” I assure him.
His eyes light up with that gold as he siphons us, and suddenly I’m being dropped to a bed.
That has me pulling my T-shirt over my head in an instant, but he just grins instead of coming down on top of me. My eyes get distracted, taking in the room I haven’t returned to until now.
My breath leaves in a rush when I realize we’re in my room, but it’s completely redone.
All the magazines that I’ve idly been tearing apart and collecting ideas for my dream room…it’s all here. Even the bed. The bed that stretches from one wall to another, making it the largest bed I’ve ever seen in my remembered life, and perfectly comfortable for five to sleep in.
“When did you—”
“We went feral like I did in hell’s throat. The mindless haze lasted for about four days. After that, we were just miserable,” Ezekiel tells me, surprising me.
“When tearing the place apart and fighting with each other got old, we started doing this,” Gage says as he appears, smirking. “One piece at a time.”
Someone appears at my back, but before I can turn around to see who is on the bed behind me, a dark, silky blindfold comes down over my eyes.
My breath hitches as my blinder deliberately takes his time tying it into place. I realize it’s Kai when he leans down to whisper in my ear.
“It’s not fair for you to know who takes your virginity,” he says against my ear. “You might favor them for too long.”
My heart starts hammering in my chest as heat swarms my body.
“I’m not really a virgin, so clearly that’s not an issue. And I want to see.”
“No,” is Jude’s response really close to my ear. “You don’t remember having sex. So this is ours to take, yours to enjoy, and all of ours to keep safe by not letting you get too attached to just one of us. Promise on our bond you won’t go phantom to peek.”
I hesitate, because that’s totally what I was going to do.
“I’ll know who it is based on the piercings. You all have different ones,” I remind them.
A deep rumble of mocking laughter comes at my ear as Gage gets close enough to murmur, “You’ll be so lost to sensation you won’t be able to pinpoint something as trivial as what piercings do what.”
A shiver runs down my body.
“Why do you have the piercings?” I ask, rambling at this point when I hear the distinct sound of clothing being shuffled off.
Now that my moment is finally here, I’m freaking out a little, if I’m being honest. I’ve dreamed of this for so long that it almost seems too surreal and overwhelming.
Understandable, especially given our newly discovered, daunting circumstances.
“Surface guardians get ink or piercings to signify their levels. We have the most,” Jude answers, sounding amused.
“Gage, lose the tongue ring so she doesn’t figure that out,” Ezekiel says.
I groan, and they all laugh under their breath.
But the laughter is gone, and my breath is stolen when someone grabs me by my shoulders and pins me to the mattress. The sound of me swallowing is all I hear when they wrench my hands above my head, only touching me at the wrists.
The huge bed allows for a lot of space, which they’re going to take advantage of, it seems.
Two sets of hands shove my legs apart even as I try to press them together, feeling a little exposed when they can all see me but I can’t see them.
The grip on my legs firms, and soon another set helps to pry my legs open, which has my back arching seconds before a mouth is suddenly on me.
My startled cry is swallowed as a second mouth finds mine, stealing all my sounds as the mouth fastened to my clit starts wreaking havoc on me.
It’s sensory overload already.
I come so quickly that they actually chuckle at me, everyone except for the one still between my thighs and driving me crazy as I clench around nothing.
It’s too sensitive, and I fight to get free. They hold me down, and I force myself not to phantom out just to get away from the pleasure that has a fine line of pain. Until I’m almost on the cusp again, another orgasm coming so quick that it’s sure to shred me.
Nothing could possibly be better.
The mouth rips away from me, leaving me just on the cusp, and I cry out in frustration. Arms grapple me down seconds before a strong hand clamps my hip, and something smooth and blunt prods my entrance.
I feel a clench down there, desperate to be filled, as two sets of hands roughly force my legs open wider. So many sounds and words escape me in unintelligible fragments.
Then suddenly fire rushes through my veins as someone thrusts deep inside me without warning. Every nerve in my body lights on fire, as an ache like I’ve never felt before doubles, almost feeling desperate for so much more.
A groan is muffled somewhere above me, before the hips pull back and surge forth again.
The hands on my legs tighten, and I feel the weight of their hungry gazes even as I’m forbidden to see them. The one inside me thrusts in harder, more urgently, and the hand on my hip starts lifting me at just the right angle.
I can’t control anything.
They have sole control.
It’s as maddening as it is incredible.
A new mouth finds mine, kissing me hungrily, as the man fucking me starts pushing me over yet another edge. My nails press painfully into my own palms, offering me just enough bite to keep myself from floating away when the third orgasm shatters me.
The body above me shudders fiercely, as they manage to hold onto their sounds much better than me, careful to give me no hint as to who is my current favorite.
I’m panting heavily as he clumsily pulls out of me, almost as though he feels as boneless as I do in this moment.
“I want to see your expression,” I whisper softly. “It’s not fair that you see mine if I can’t see yours.”
No one answers me as another body moves between my legs, causing a dirty shiver to spread through me when it sinks in just how deliciously wrong this all is.
It’s a heady feeling to embrace it and savor it. It’s almost worth losing their expressions in this moment.
Another mouth is one mine in the next instant. I always feel them come to me, but I never feel them leave me. They always stop kissing me when I’m too distracted to notice.
My body arches off the bed when the new man thrusts in forcefully, and they hold me open for him, making me take him even as my body still continues to shudder from the last orgasm.
He only thrusts in three times before he’s ripping himself away and flipping me to my stomach in one harsh motion. A grunt rushes out of me, but then I’m lifted into the air by two sets of hands.
When I come back down, my skin connects with warm, incredible skin, and I end up straddling one of them as his mouth fuses to mine. I’m so drunk on sensation that I can’t even discern the mouths kissing me from one to the next.
My hands are tied behind my back before I realize it, and the man under me thrusts up, pushing inside me almost too easily. Something slick and wet trails around my backside, as the man underneath me fucks me to distraction.
The sensations are different from this angle, especially with someone else behind me, running their lubed-up fingers down the path of my ass. I suck in a breath, breaking the kiss, as the one behind me pushes in just one finger.
A groan passes out of the one under me when I start moving harder against him, desperate to have more of each.
Hands tighten on my hips just before a much broader tip starts pressing into my ass. Definitely not a virgin there either, because virgins probably don’t love the bite of pain as someone works their cock into their ass.
“I only feel two of you,” I say on a breathy, half-coherent tone. “Are the other two watching?”
Hands come around to my front, as a voice comes to my ear. “Yes,” is all that’s whispered so softly that I can’t discern whose voice it is.
The man behind me slides his hand up my throat as he starts fucking me in time with the man under me. The movements all feel so much more intense, packed inside me as I shudder uncontrollably against the powerful sensations.
We move as one unit, drawing out the most pleasure, easily synchronized as though we’ve done this countless times. It’s like our bodies have remembered what our minds have forgotten, even if they’re not all technically in the same bodies.
Such delicate care is taken not to hurt me, and our bodies writhe like sex and filth with a seductive, heady concentration. Their hands get more impatient, and I keep kissing one then another.
I’m almost positive it’s Jude and Gage. Then those hands tighten and I’m certain it’s Kai. Definitely Kai. I can feel him.
Nope. It’s Ezekiel under me. Has to be.
For fuck’s sake, why can’t I tell them apart right now?
A moan is torn from my lips, and swallowed halfway through when the one behind me wrenches my head back to kiss me, even as both their hips start moving faster.
I can’t…It’s just too…I just can’t…
I’m shattered in the next instant, the most powerful orgasm yet thundering through me with so much crackle and mind-numbing euphoria that I swear it feels like I’m floating.
In all actuality, I’m collapsing into the arms of the man under me as the two of them continue to drive in and out of me with more frenzied, urgent motions.
They come at the same time, both sucking in breaths as their hands tighten on me.
I’m too groggy to really and truly fathom how long we’ve been at this when the one behind me slides out first. I wince from the sting of pain and sense of loss when he’s all the way out.
Someone lifts me off the other one, and his cock is slowly dragged out of me as my pussy clenches from aftershocks, demanding to keep him in.
Some rustling is all I hear as I’m gently laid on the bed, and someone starts untying my blindfold.
“That wasn’t four of you, was it? Did Kai do those few pumps and move on like the selfish man he is, robbing me of my fourth experience?” I ask on a shaky, but certainly accusatory, breath.
Four sounds of laughter comes as the blindfold falls away, and an amused Kai is hovering over me with an arched eyebrow.
“Actually, we decided there should be a balance,” he says, leaning forward to nip my lips. “You wanted to see our expressions. We needed you not to know the first person inside you. So I’m taking my turn last to give balance.”
At my confusion, he tips my chin up.
“I took last instead of first. You now know I’m certainly not the first one inside you, but I’ll be the only one you get to enjoy experiencing you for the first time,” he says, brushing his lips over mine as he shifts himself to be right between my legs.
My smile spreads as heat blooms across me. I’m covered in all things them, essentially marked forever.
He grips my hip, and I lick my lips as I watch him grab his very hard, very large cock in his hand and strokes it once. It looks angry, almost throbbing with the desire for relief.
Jude’s lips brush my throat as he comes onto the bed beside us. Ezekiel’s mouth goes to my breasts, and I grip them both, touching them as I watch Kai stroke himself.
Gage moves above of me, bending to kiss me as that warmth continues to spread over my chest.
“So fucking beautiful,” Ezekiel whispers against my ear as Gage breaks the kiss and leans back, his fingers trailing down my cheek.
“More beautiful than Hera or Lilith?” I ask automatically, not even sure why I ask it.
Jude snorts derisively, and I start to get my feelings hurt, until he says, “They can’t even compare.”
A goofy girl grin spreads as I tell him, “Now you’re my favorite even though that was so fucking cheesy.”
“Enjoy while it lasts,” Kai says to Jude, smirking as he draws my attention back to him.
The other four move back just a little as Kai leans over me, lining himself up just right and raking the head of his cock over my very slick entrance.
His eyes flutter shut as his jaw tenses, and I commit every feature to memory. Licking my lips, I watch as he works the tip in, and his muscles bunch as his eyes barely open, a hooded, sexy expression on his face.
Inch by slow inch, he pushes inside me, more and more of that relief, pleasure, and indescribably hot patience on his face.
When he’s halfway in, he suddenly thrusts hard, burying himself to the hilt. His eyes roll back in his head as his mouth falls open, and his sexy rumble of approval vibrates against me.
It feels just as good as it has since the beginning, the fourth piece of my heart clicking into place as my soul is fed by the hunger and pure pleasure on his face.
My hands go to his hair, keeping his head up when he tries to drop it. I need to see all of this. I want to drink it in.
None of them ever looked as lost to sensation as he does when they were with the other women. My jealous nature appreciates that immensely.
“Is this how you all looked?” I ask in awe as Kai stays still inside me like he’s savoring it.
“Yes,” Ezekiel whispers close to me.
“Now I wish I had thought to go last,” Gage groans.
Kai is taking it slower, relishing the feel of me and allowing me to relish the feel of him as he draws back and slides in with an effortless ease, despite the snug fit, pressing against every nerve I have in a way that is almost too intense.
I pull him down by the back of his neck, eager to taste his kiss while he’s lost like this.
The second his lips touch mine, he devours me, kissing me as he grips one of my legs at the thigh and hikes it up. He uses his new hold as leverage to pull back and slam into me.
A startled cry has me breaking the kiss as he raises up and sets a rhythm that has me arching toward him.
Hands grapple me to the bed, pinning me in place as Kai starts working me over, taking me like he’s envisioned this hundreds of times and is on a mission to steal all he can from this moment.
My eyelids try to flutter shut reflexively, but I force them open so I can watch each expression as it crosses his face.
His eyes are burning a solid gold as he stares at me, unable to look away. My eyes screw shut, unbidden, when a pleasurably painful orgasm sweeps through, reminding my body I’ve received far too much pleasure for any one person.
A hand grips my jaw, and my eyes fly open when Jude turns my face toward him.
“Watch, comoara trădătoare. Watch him so you know what you did to us,” Jude says as he turns my face back to see Kai.
It’s like sweet anguish, as though the pleasure is so intense he’s straining to drain every ounce of it out. Then his hips slam into me one last time, and his entire body shudders as he grips me painfully.
His eyes open heavily as he pants for air, staring directly at me like he sees me differently but still the same. I get it. Everything about each one of them now feels more intimate.
He drops to me, kissing me so hard, as though rewarding me for my lazy part.
My fingers tangle in his dark hair as I suck his bottom lip into my mouth and bite it gently.
He groans and shudders again, moving inside me like he’s ready for another round.
“Enough for now,” Jude says, even as Kai’s hips continue to move.
I kiss him harder, not wanting him gone just yet. His hands fly to my hair, gripping it as he starts thrusting like he can’t slow down, desperate to feel another release.
“I said enough,” Jude bites out.
“Let him. She likes it,” Ezekiel says from beside me, moving to watch my eyes as Kai fucks me like he can’t stop.
“She can take as much as we can give,” Gage says, smirking as he steps back, taking in the scene like he wants to watch.
Kai is stilling again, already coming. My orgasm total for the day has been met, so I don’t feel gipped that I don’t get another one at the end.
Kai’s body goes lax on top of mine as he lazily he kisses me with appreciation, his weight crushing down on me.
“If he got two turns, then I vote I get mine later,” Ezekiel points out.
“After mine,” Jude drawls.
“Or mine,” Gage says.
Kai grins against my neck like he’s enjoying this. My legs wrap around his waist, and my arms go around his shoulders like I’m hugging him to me.
“Whoever is my next favorite will get me again. For now, I’m sexually sated but completely physically hungry,” I tell them, running my lips up Kai’s cheek.
If I continue lying here, basking in all this intimacy, I’ll blurt out something stupid. I’ve learned men hate that.
Giving them no warning, I go phantom and zap myself to the kitchen.
From messy to clean within a flip of a switch, I set about my new task.
I grin when I hear them all follow, siphoning in here behind me. And I don’t even care whose arms go around me or who kisses my cheek as I start cooking for five.
It’s the first time since I started my lonely, anonymous existence that I finally feel whole.