Chapter 9
Gage pokes his head into my room a few hours later, as I drink more of the foulest tasting concoction I’ve ever tasted in my entire life. But I love how truly stupid I feel in this moment. As though my world isn’t a cosmic ball of madness.
His eyes dip to the jar in my hand, as I say, “If you’re going to try to seduce me to steal confessions I can’t possibly make—” I clear my throat when I start to slur the ‘s’ words. “—please wait. You have no idea how long or hard it was for me to get to this point of inebriation. And don’t you dare make a dirty joke about ‘long’ and ‘hard’ being in the same sentence.”
His eyes flick to the three empty jars on my bedside table, then back to the mostly empty jar swaying in my hand.
“How in the hell did you drink four of those and manage to stay conscious?” he asks incredulously.
“Fun fact,” I say, smiling humorlessly. “Since the last time I drank this and ended up miserable on the bathroom floor, I’ve leveled-up a lot. Now I’m a hard one to get drunk. One of these gets me a little drunk. Two of these get me happy drunk. Well, it took three tries to make this happen.”
I gesture to the table behind him to show him a few more jars he didn’t notice.
“You guys need to replenish your stash, by the way,” I go on, getting sidetracked.
He looks to be battling a grin, but I continue as though it’s imperative he hear this evening’s monumental struggle. Total spirit girl problems.
“So when I got hungry after the first two-and-a-half bottles, I realized walking was really hard to do. So I went phantom and zapped myself to the kitchen to get food, too stupid to realize I’d still have to walk up the stairs with the food. By the way, I can’t make food magically appear the way I do clothing and jewelry. I tried. I was that desperate to keep from going downstairs.”
He opens his mouth to speak, and I wave him off.
“Anyway, so I realized I was instantly sober when I went ghost. I still zapped myself to the kitchen. My phantom state apparently resets my inebriation levels.”
“That’s actually pretty useful information to hold onto,” he says, appearing genuinely intrigued. Both of him.
I wish the two of him would quit spinning. It’s terribly distracting.
“The second time, I had food readily available, more bottles of that heinous tasting drink, and a bathrobe.” I point to the bathrobe I’m luxuriating in. “Comfort was a priority.”
He just grins broader, as though he’s thoroughly entertained. The carefree grin is so rare that it transforms his whole face. And I realize I really want to see him look at me more like that.
He pushes off from the wall, coming to lower himself onto the bed beside me, taking the drink from my hand and raising it to his lips.
“It’s like skunk and dead rodents festered in that thing, and I had to choke it down multiple times because of sober-phantom-me. The second time was brought on by my first ever hiccup. It startled me so much I went phantom on accident, and…I have the cure for hiccups now. Phantom girl fixed that too.”
He grins behind the glass as he takes another drink, not making a single expression of disgust.
“Just how? How did you grow a tolerance to that? Because I gotta tell you, this might be my only night to wallow in alcohol.”
The bed jostles when he moves closer and hands it back to me, and I take it a little roughly. “Taste it now,” he says, leaning over.
Rolling my eyes, I turn it up, brace for the inevitable rancid taste, and…moan in pleasure as the taste of cinnamon invades my mouth. My eyelids flutter shut as I turn it up and down the remaining liquid like I can’t possibly get enough.
Gage’s lips slowly stroke the column of my throat, and I’m so warm and tamed by the liquor that I don’t even question his motives.
“How?” I ask, now wanting more and wondering what I did with that last bottle.
“You choose the flavor,” he says against my neck.
“And no one found this to be crucial information to share when they saw me carrying that jar back to my room? I’ve been choking that stuff down for hours and having to start all over again.”
“I didn’t see you carrying it to your room, or I would have been in here much, much sooner,” he murmurs against the base of my neck, slowly kissing lower.
I stiffen and narrow my eyes. “Are you in here because of Jude’s weird interrogation tactics? Did Kai stand me up as a part of this game?”
He lifts his head, eyebrow arched as he peers down at me.
“I’m in here because you stared into my eyes and clung to my hand, willing to go into the flames with me so I wouldn’t have to die alone,” he says with no humor or sarcasm. “I’m in a much different place than the rest of them right now, because there’s no reason you did that other than what you said. He’s still worried about what price is to come. I’m to the point where I say to hell with the consequences.”
Confused, I run my finger up his arm.
His lips ghost over mine as he continues. “Jude is playing his game. He secretly needs you to be a worthy adversary, but the more you prove you are, the more he truly believes no good can come from it. We’ve been burned in the past many times. And you’ve already penetrated farther than any woman before you,” he says, his eyes never leaving mine.
I wasn’t expecting so much honesty or candor.
“Okay then,” I say on a breath.
“Okay then?” he asks, one corner of his mouth lifting.
“But in all fairness, there hasn’t been any penetration. Aside from some fingers, and I can do that myself, so I’m not sure how I’ve penetrated farther than any woman,” I add, simply because I don’t do well with serious situations, it seems.
His grin only grows.
I shrug a shoulder. “Anyway, the only way I’m ever going to get close enough for him to truly trust me, is to stop trying so hard to get him to trust me. Three to one odds that I can make it happen by the end of the week.”
I really shouldn’t be gambling. I’m not a betting woman.
That smile stretches even wider than the last one as his eyes flake with gold.
“You’re going to play a game to counter his game?” he asks.
“Jude needs control. You saw how crazy he got earlier when he felt all that slipping. I’m going to tip him over the edge, and he’ll be so mad he won’t know whether to kill me or kiss me. He’ll choose the kiss. And it’ll be brutal,” I tell him, holding out my hand like I’m ready to shake on a deal.
Instead of shaking my hand, his lips come down on mine, and the empty jar tumbles from my hand as I reach up to grab the back of his head. He groans in my mouth, a tortured sound, and I realize he’s not going to be breaking the bond tonight.
The kiss cuts off, and he snuggles up against my side, his arm going around me, making me feel a little safe.
“There’s a question that’s been driving me out of my mind, and I need to know the answer before I go find him and kill him,” he says as though this is entirely too exasperating for him to deal with.
Kill who?
“Okay…”
“Why did you think Neal—the weasel from the club—would be your one true love or whatever it is you kept saying?” he asks, causing my smile to spread so much it hurts.
“Are you jealous? Please say you are.”
“Just answer the question,” he tells me pointedly.
Rolling my eyes, I shrug. “All of you seem to forget that I’m still a novice to so many experiences. I was unseen then unwanted for the first conscious years of my existence. He was the first man in my short existence to be nice to me. The first man who wanted to spend time with me. The first guy who smiled at all my jokes. Nothing else seemed to really matter when I felt how good it could feel to just be wanted.”
Gage groans, and before I can say anything more, his lips are on mine again, kissing me as he starts pushing my legs apart and sliding up my shirt as my robe falls apart. His grip on me tightens when he realizes there is no underwear under the shirt.
Just as he starts shoving down his track pants, his intentions clear, I push him back, shaking my head.
“I didn’t tell you that to make you feel so sorry for me that you’d piss off everyone and give me what I want,” I grumble. “And I really don’t want to remember losing my virginity to a pity fuck.”
“You want me to see if you’re really a virgin?” he muses.
“Kai and Ezekiel have already been there with their fingers. I’ll just ask them,” I state with a shrug, expecting him to show some more jealousy.
Instead, he smirks. “Then I guess I’ll find something else to do with you. No need in giving you all the same experiences over and over when there’s a whole lot more out there to show you.”
Before I can say more, Kai walks in, taking in our intimate cuddle session, and slides in on my other side. My bed is large, but three is going to be the limit.
“You stood me up,” I tell him.
“I realized I couldn’t be alone in here with you, or I’d end up betraying everyone—”
“—Just Jude,” I interrupt.
“I knew it was just a matter of time before someone else came in, and we could be cock-block buddies,” he goes on.
He reaches over and fist bumps Gage with laughing eyes.
“You were my favorite earlier. Gage has now replaced you once again,” I tell him idly as he passes me the last jar of alcohol.
I’m stunned a little to taste a rich cocoa flavor instead of cinnamon like last time. I guess Kai prefers a different taste, and it’s something new I get to learn about them.
“Is she a virgin?” Gage asks Kai as he grabs my abandoned popcorn and starts snacking.
“To be honest, I have no clue,” Kai says, reaching over me and grabbing his own handful. “We’ve never had a virgin before. They tend to freak out over the four-at-once notion when they’re that innocent.”
“I would think it’d still be obvious,” Gage says with a frown.
Ezekiel walks in, and grins at me when I flip him off.
“Don’t be mad. I wasn’t going to pass up the opportunity to get my hands on you without him guilt-tripping me for once. The tradeoff was that he no longer says anything about my sleeping arrangements,” he says, coming closer.
“The bird was for not telling me I could flavor the alcohol. I drank skunk for hours for no damn reason,” I tell him before drinking more of the chocolatey nectar.
Both he and Kai burst out laughing, and Ezekiel drops to the end of the long bed, stretching out as he lies on his back and snags some popcorn for himself.
“And I got you a gift to apologize,” he says, pulling a gift box out.
“If this has a beetle in it, you’ll never be my favorite again,” I tell him, leaning down to snatch the box up.
He just grins as I open it up, expecting a more acceptable necklace, given the slender, rectangular box.
Instead, I find a row of nail polishes. All of them have “diamond” sparkles.
“I was hoping for more real diamonds. I don’t remember those women getting nail polishes,” I state absently, even as I admire the pretty colors and decide to start painting my toenails.
I have no idea what to do, so I put a pin in it until I can Google a tutorial. I’m not sure how I know how to work Google to its fullest extent just yet, but I’m really grateful for that knowledge. Makes life easier.
“I figured we’d start with the basics, since you don’t really own anything yet,” Ezekiel says with a shrug. “Besides, every real girl needs nail polish.”
I’m not sure why it makes me grin, but it does.
“Thank you,” I finally tell him, and he rolls his eyes before turning over.
“We don’t really like gratitude around here,” Kai tells me. “It just makes shit awkward.”
“You’d prefer for me to be ungrateful like the lot of you?” I muse.
“Exactly,” they all three say with a smile, not looking at me as they stare at the TV.
Just as my smile spreads wider, Jude pokes his head in the doorway, leaning against the frame as he rakes his eyes over the three traitors.
I subtly adjust, closing my robe, trying not to make it obvious I’m wearing my Team Comoara Trădătoare shirt a little prouder now.
“Harold called and said there’s no word on the trial results yet. I didn’t give him the details of the new angle we’re working on, just in case,” Jude says.
I say nothing. I’m determined to make it look like I’m not interested in his attention.
My leg is draped over Ezekiel’s waist, and the other two are pressed up against my sides as I grab some popcorn from Gage’s lap.
“Lake wants to meet with us in the morning. She says she might be able to sneak us into hell to get a look at what’s going on,” Jude continues.
“That’s a hell of a risk,” Gage says on a low whistle.
I swallow my really curious and irrational jealousy down and refuse to ask Jude who Lake is.
“I can do this on my own,” Jude tells them. “With just one of us, it’d be less likely for us to get caught once she gets me down there.”
“How about I just go and all of you stay safe and sound up here?” I ask them, hoping that is going to be the new plan of action.
“You can’t siphon there on your own, and Lake would never take you whole,” Ezekiel tells me absently as he starts massaging my foot with one hand.
My eyes almost roll back in my head because it feels incredible. I might even like it almost as much as an orgasm. I didn’t even know to ask for this, because I’ve never seen them do it to the other girls over the past few years.
“Then I’ll follow her around until she siphons below, and I’ll hitch a ride without her knowing. I’m positive I could siphon out of hell,” I prattle on, suppressing a moan while Ezekiel makes the rest of my body envious of my foot.
“Too risky. Lake knows how to navigate Lucifer’s illusion in the royal wing. Her father has served directly under him for years. He’ll sense her if she goes snooping, but he won’t know I’m there because I’m not yet pledged,” Jude says dismissively.
He glances around at the three of them, a hint of something flashing in his eyes too fast for me to discern what, before he schools his expressions.
“Then I’m coming with you. You’re not going alone,” I tell him.
“He’ll be with Lake,” Gage says, grinning at me like he sees me already failing at my attempt to pretend not to care.
“Lake can’t snoop, which means he’ll be on his own,” I say carefully, not admitting to the outrageous jealousy he’s weirdly trying to provoke. “I’m going.”
Jude doesn’t even argue, much to my surprise.
Why do I feel like I’m being played all of the sudden?
“Then be ready by lunch tomorrow,” Jude tells me before backing up.
Just to pretend it’s no big deal he’s leaving instead of joining us, which I know we’d all really like, I lean over and tap Ezekiel’s shoulder.
“Mr. Magic Fingers, am I a virgin?”
Confusion crosses his features as he seems to think about that. “I’m not really sure. We’ve never had a virgin before, so I’m not entirely certain what to look for.”
“See? It’s not as easy as it sounds,” Kai tells Gage.
The entire room dissolves into laughter, and the conversation changes. The dynamic shifts before my eyes as Kai’s arm drops around my shoulders, and Gage’s fingers twine with mine.
Ezekiel continues to gently hold onto my foot, as the three of them talk and laugh about things I’m not completely understanding.
I glance up, noticing Jude at the very end of the long hallway that I can see, since he left my door open.
He stands in front of an empty room that has no purpose, just propped against the frame like it’s his room, as he simply stares at us like he’s studying the image and trying to place it somewhere.
I’m distracted when Kai draws my attention.
“Tell us something memorable about the days you were watching us before we knew you were watching,” he says casually.
“You don’t have to make it sound so creepy. It’s really not.”
He just grins.
“I always sat at the end of the table. One of you on my left, and one of you on my right. But it always changed, because you never all stayed in the same seats every time. It often felt like you were rotating so you could take turns being the closest to me during our table-dinner nights,” I say distractedly, my attention snagged on the weird cat on TV as he tries super hard to get some lasagna.
Why have I not seen this cartoon sooner?
I don’t realize they’ve gone silent until I look around to see them all studying me with indecipherable looks on their faces.
“What?” I ask, worried I’ve just taken steps back again.
Ezekiel’s smile starts slowly spreading.
“We used to always sit in the same spots. For centuries,” Kai says, almost as though he’s thinking aloud.
“Until about five or so years ago,” Gage adds quietly.
There are totally butterflies right now, because it almost sounds like they’re saying they sensed me without ever realizing it and gravitated toward me the way I always have them.
Gage sighs as he drops to his back. “Jude better come around soon. I’m not sure how much more I can take. I’m only so fucking strong,” he tells the other two.
“Why did you wear combat boots with your tuxes?” I ask, as though this is the perfect time for that forgotten question.
Laughter follows that, though I’m not sure what’s so funny about it. No one even bothers to answer me. They tend to laugh when I’m actually being serious, and stay serious when I’m trying to be funny.
When I remember Jude watching, my eyes dart up to see the vacant spot where he was. My heart squeezes a little bit, because even when he’s an ass, I still can’t stand the thought of him feeling left out.
With a sigh, I curl up closest to Kai’s side, since I haven’t had nearly as much close time with him, and let his arm drape around me. He doesn’t kiss my head, but his hand stays fixed to my ass.
We stay up late, watching cartoons, laughing at stupid jokes, and drinking more alcohol.
The entire time, I can’t even enjoy it as much as I should, and they all feel it too. After all, Jude’s a much bigger piece of their lives than mine.
One person is missing.