CHAPTER NINETEEN
Luke stared at the entrance to Jack’s inn for several moments. Then he took a deep breath and stepped out of his truck. Had it really been four months since he’d been there? In some ways it seemed like hardly any time had passed, and in others, it seemed like it had been a lifetime. Had Jack changed? Luke had—he hoped for the better. What if Jack was seeing someone? Luke had ultimately told him he didn’t expect him to stay celibate all this time. Surely he’d at least been to the club; maybe he had a new sub now.
Luke had almost gone to the Edge himself several times, but he was afraid he’d see Jack there and either run away or beg him to give up this insane separation. Sometimes he thought he was an idiot for not seeing what sex was like with someone else when he had the chance, especially on the nights when he was sure he was going to end up with a repetitive stress injury in his right hand. But no matter how hard he tried to fantasize about one of the hot guys he saw around campus, the image in his mind always morphed into Jack.
So here Luke was, back at the inn. He’d taken time away like Jack asked. He’d built a new life for himself, a life he liked, but he wanted Jack to be a part of it.
When he entered the lobby, the young man at the desk looked up. It was Tavell, a guy he’d graduated with. Tavell’s eyes widened, but then he smiled. “You home from school?”
“I’m here for Cal’s wedding. Is Jack here?” Luke tried to ignore his racing pulse and the butterflies in his stomach. He could do this.
“He’s in his office. I can call him.”
“No, thanks. I’d rather just go back.”
Tavell seemed uncertain, but he gestured toward the back. “It’s the—”
“Last on the right, I know.”
“Oh, right. Of course you do. See you later.”
How many people were still talking about the scandal of Luke’s seduction at the hands of seemingly upright citizen Jack Lawrence? All the looks and comments had hurt like hell last fall, but he was glad everything was out in the open, because he wanted to be with Jack, and he didn’t intend to hide it.
That didn’t mean he wasn’t nervous as hell. He stood in front of Jack’s office door for several seconds, working up the courage to knock.
Go on, you coward.
Suddenly, the door opened.
When Jack saw him, his mouth dropped open and he took a step back.
“Do you have a minute?” Luke asked.
Pain flashed in Jack’s eyes. Shit! Luke meant to sound assertive; maybe he just sounded cold.
“Um…I can make time for you,” Jack said, motioning for him to come in. “Give me a minute.”
He picked up the phone on his desk and made a call. “I need you to do me a favor…Make two picnic baskets. One should be the Romantic Lunch for Two, and the other is the Family Basket for Four. You’ll see the orders in the computer…Yes…Thank you. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”
Luke didn’t want to screw up Jack’s day. “I can wait if you need to—”
“No, you’re more important, and I’ve…missed you so much.”
He sounded as nervous as Luke was. “I missed you too.”
“Yeah?”
Luke nodded. “I’m over halfway through the semester. I like my job. I’ve met friends. I’ve turned down some propositions.”
“Luke, you—”
“I didn’t want those men. They weren’t going to give me what I need. Not like you can.”
“Luke—”
He shook his head. “Hear me out. Then I’ll give you some time to think about what I’ve said.”
Jack’s expression was wary, but he ultimately said, “Okay.”
“I know what I agreed to, but part of gaining independence is learning to stand up for what I want, and I don’t want to wait until May to start seeing you again. I want to end our separation now. I need to know if we have a future, if you still feel like you did in November. I do, but I can’t go on like this, counting the days until I can be with you again. I need to touch and be touched, and I want that to come from you.”
Jack started to speak, but Luke held up a hand. “I don’t want an answer now. I want you to take some time to think because…I can’t go through this again, walking away with the hope of maybe getting together again in a few months.”
“But I—”
“Please.” Luke willed him to go along with his request to wait. He didn’t want a snap decision.
Jack sighed, and Luke heard his pain in the sound. “I won’t answer now, but…how are you otherwise?”
Luke hoped he could keep his voice steady. “School’s going really well. I’ll qualify for a work-study position in the library next fall. I may keep the job at Greene’s Java too. Turns out I’m not half bad at this barista thing. I wash all my own clothes now and make my own dinner, mostly just mac ’n cheese and hot dogs, but still.”
Jack gave him a soft smile. “I didn’t do any better until I was close to thirty, so I can’t fault you there.”
Luke wanted to grab him, kiss him, beg him, but he forced himself to appear calm. “I know four months isn’t that long to you.”
“Is that an old-man joke?” Jack seemed to be trying to make himself laugh.
“Maybe, but seriously, nothing has changed for me. I want you as much right now as I did in November.”
Jack studied him for a few moments. “I thought you wanted me to think about this.”
“I do.” It was too hard to talk to Jack about anything else. “I should go now. Call me when you’ve made a decision.” He turned toward the door.
“Wait.”
Luke faced Jack again, heart pounding.
“Are you staying with your family?” Jack’s wary expression said he dreaded the answer.
“That depends on you. Right now, I’m going to visit Cal and Beck. I haven’t seen them since Christmas. I want a chance to talk to them before the craziness tomorrow.”
“Okay, well, I…”
Jack looked so sad, Luke almost drew him into his arms. He had to force his feet to take him closer to the door. “Bye, Jack.”
He turned and walked out. It nearly killed him not to look back, but he knew if he did, he wouldn’t be able to leave. He second-guessed himself all the way to his truck. What if he’d done the wrong thing by forcing Jack to make a decision? What would he do if Jack said no? Was he actually going to break things off? Date other people? The thought made him queasy.
He had to believe he’d made the right choice. Jack needed to see that Luke was willing to ask for what he wanted. If Jack felt as strongly as Luke did, he’d get over his stubbornness and let them be together. And then Luke would be very happy to surrender control and let Jack do whatever he wanted. He’d missed that so much. He’d lost count of the number of times he’d woken from dreams of Jack wringing tears from him with exquisite torment. By the time he pulled up in front of Cal and Beck’s house, his skin felt too tight, and his dick was doing its best to convince him to go back to the inn.
Cal hollered for him to come on in. Katie, Cal’s Great Dane, bounded down the hall and demanded some attention. Once he’d given her ears a thorough scratching, he found Cal and Beck in the kitchen, putting together bouquets of flowers.
“You two seem awfully relaxed for people getting married in less than twenty-four hours.”
Beck grinned. “I’m hardly a blushing bride.”
“I’m more excited than nervous,” Cal said. “As far as I’m concerned, Beck’s been mine since he came back to Ames Bridge.”
“You mean since you walked over and yelled at me for not selling you Grandma’s land?”
Cal snarled. “Damn right.”
“Ha.” Beck turned back to Luke. “Please excuse him. I’m so glad you stopped by. Have you been to see Jack?”
Luke nodded.
“And?”
“I told him I wanted him, I was tired of spending time apart, and I needed to know if he was ready to start dating again.”
“Tell me he agreed,” Cal said. “I don’t want to have to go yell at him before this damn rehearsal dinner tonight.”
“I told him to think about it before he answered; then I walked away.”
“Shit!” Beck shook his head.
“I wanted a real answer, not one I pressured out of him.”
“Trust me,” Beck insisted. “You do not need to pressure that man to admit he wants you.”
“Wants me, yeah. But—”
“Ohhhh! You want to know if he loves you,” Cal said.
Beck frowned. “Cal, you stay out of their business.”
“Are you saying you don’t want to help bring another deserving couple together?”
“What exactly did I do to deserve you?”
Cal slapped his ass. “You have it so damn good, Beckett Davis-McMurtry.” Cal’s grin widened. “I love how that sounds.”
“So you’re hyphenating your name?” Luke asked.
“We both are.”
They were so damn cute. “Aww. I like that.”
“Me too,” Beck said. “But do be warned that living with a man isn’t always a picnic. They snore, and then they—”
“You hush your mouth right now. I can still call this wedding off.”
Beck rolled his eyes. “As if.”
Luke couldn’t help but wonder if he and Jack would ever be that comfortable with each other. He sure as hell hoped so.
“You want something to eat?” Beck asked. “People have been bringing us food for days, knowing we’re too busy to cook.”
Luke’s phone rang before he could respond. “It’s Jack.”
“Answer it!” Beck shouted.
“Hello?”
“Meet me in the clearing where you used to get together with Lucy.”
“When?”
“As soon as you can get there.” Jack ended the call without another word.
What if… No. Surely he wouldn’t ask Luke to hike up there, to a place that was special to him, if he was going to turn him down.
“So?” Cal asked.
“I’ve gotta go.”
“Go where?”
“To meet Jack. I—”
“Slow down.” Beck laid a hand on his shoulder. “Do you need one of us to drive you?”
“No, I—”
“I’m not letting you have a wreck before he can tell you how stupid he was to let you walk away this morning,” Cal said. “Come on.”
***
Luke reached the clearing before Jack. He walked around, checking out the place as he waited. It was more overgrown than it had been years ago, but he could still see all the way down to the bridge from one spot. He saw a couple down there, holding hands and gazing at each other instead of the water. Could that be him one day?
Finally he heard someone coming.
Please be Jack.
And then there he was, coming along the path. Luke wanted to run into his arms, kiss him, and pull him to the ground, but he stayed right where he was and let Jack come to him.
“Hi,” Jack said, seeming as unsure as Luke felt.
“Hi.”
“I asked you out here because you said you loved this place but hadn’t been here in a long time. I wanted privacy to talk, but the cabin didn’t seem right.”
Luke was bursting with questions, but he sank his teeth into his lower lip, keeping his mouth firmly shut. It was Jack’s turn to talk.
***
Jack took both of Luke’s hands in his and held his gaze.
“Breathe.” Jack drew in a long breath as Luke did and then let it out.
“Now look at me and listen.”
Luke squeezed Jack’s hands and nodded.
“That day at the Edge when we realized just how compatible we were, I was reluctant to agree to go out with you. I pretended it was your age, but I think even then, I knew I wasn’t going to be able to keep things casual. I’d wanted you a long time before I knew how right we were for each other. And it’s not just the sex. The way you submit to me is so good, it’s dizzying, but holding you afterward, those moments of quiet talk, having breakfast together, all that is just as good.”
Luke raised his brows.
“Different, but good,” Jack insisted.
Luke smiled then, and Jack could feel his tension easing.
“When you thought I might be asking you to move in, I wasn’t as surprised as I pretended to be. I’d thought about it briefly, but then dismissed it, thinking it was crazy when we’d only been together a few weeks.”
“Nine weeks and two days.”
Jack’s heart swelled. Of course Luke knew to the day. “I thought about wanting you in my life every day before it had even been a month. And right now, nothing sounds better than spending every moment with you. I love you, Luke.”
Luke sucked in his breath. “You do?”
“I do.”
“I love you too. I almost blurted it out the last time we were at the cabin. I wanted to tell you, but the timing was wrong. You wanted me to leave and—”
“I wanted to give you choices and opportunities.”
Luke nodded. “I know, and I’m glad now, because I’m more certain than ever that you’re the man I want.”
Luke reached up and brushed his thumb over Jack’s cheekbone. “I have to give my apartment up in May. I’m just subletting it.”
“That sounds like a real problem.” Jack smiled at him, feeling lighter than he had since Luke had shown up at the inn; no—since Luke had moved away.
“It would be, except I have a boyfriend who owns an inn.”
“And a cabin.”
“A cabin we should go to right now.”
Jack grinned. “Interesting idea. It so happens I cleared my calendar for the rest of the afternoon.”
“Is that okay? Really?” Luke’s earnestness warmed Jack all over.
“The inn is full with guests for the wedding, but I’ve hired more staff to take over much of the day-to-day business. I want to concentrate on cooking and co-coordinating extras like trail rides and vacation packages.”
“Jack, that’s great news!”
“It is, and it means I have until dinnertime free.”
“Yeah?”
He nodded.
They stared at each other for a few moments. Then they both took off toward the parking area.