CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
Surprisingly, I slept fine, and Sutton is out like a light. I lean up on my elbow, watching her sleep. Sharing your bed with a woman tells you a lot about her. I can tell Sutton is a thief. She steals all the covers and swipes my pillow every night, claiming she needs three. Two under her head, and one beside her. Why does she need one beside her? To brace her boobs? Cuddle with? God only knows.
But she’s stolen more than my covers and pillows. Little bits of me now seem to belong to her. I can feel it happening, like I’m being robbed, but unable to fight back. Only I don’t really want to fight, not her, not this, not what’s happening between us. Brushing her hair off her face, I whisper, “Love thief.”
I love you, I say inside my head, trying to get used to it. The fact is, I can count on four fingers how many women I’ve said those words to—my mom, Annie, Tawny, and now Sutton.
I’ve never given all of myself to a woman, never wanted all of her, but I do want all of Sutton, and not just her tits and ass. I want all her smiles, all her laughs, every single tear or fear. Scary thing is, it doesn’t feel like I want those things—it feels like I need them. I’ve never needed anyone. I lived my life that way, but she’s blasted that to hell. Now she’s the only thing I need.
Guess that’s how I know this is different. That I’m falling in love. But it feels more like free falling. Like I’ve lost all control. Guess there’s a relationship between love and fear. If there was a war between love and fear, which would win?
Love is the absence of control. Fear the ultimate controller.
Love is based in strength. Fear feeds on your weakness.
All these years, I thought I was in control, but I guess I was just really weak, being controlled by my fear—until now, until her.
I slip the covers off her sleeping body. She’s beautiful draped in the morning sun. How can someone so beautiful, so sweet, be my undoing? Without even trying, she’s brought me to my knees, and the view is damn perfect.
I lean over and circle her nipple with my tongue, waking her up with a slight nibble. Her back arches in presentation, and I move down her body, between her legs, and suck down on her hard.
Her eyes shoot open, and she shoves my head. “What are you doing?”
I circle her clit with my tongue. If she doesn’t know what I’m doing, then I’m doing something wrong. “I’ve decided it’s time for you to come like this.”
“Oh,” she moans. “I’ve always wanted someone to do this to me.”
Holy shit, no one has ever gone down on her before. That’s it—I’m bringing my A game. She’s going to come so hard, she’ll beg me to suck her every day. And I’d happily comply. She’s the best thing I’ve ever tasted, like fruit freshly fallen off the vine.
Gently, I kiss her inner thighs, feeling her quiver. Her knees drop open as I let my tongue outline her folds.
“Oh, God,” she says, looking down at me, her body stiffening.
I slide up her body and lock eyes with her. “Relax.”
“I should shower,” she says quietly.
I reach between her legs and slip my finger inside. “You taste delicious.”
“Oh, God.”
“Are you going to deny me this sweet pussy?”
“No,” she breathes out. “But . . .”
I press harder with my finger. “We’ll get to your ass later.” Her eyes widen, and I flash a devilish grin at her. “Now let me make you come.”
Her legs spread wide as I slide back down. I need to take this slow. Build her up, let her lose some inhibition, but it’s hard. Knowing I’m her first urges me to get her there quickly, to show her how great she’s going to feel after. Pushing her thighs up with my hands and outlining her softly, she vibrates underneath my mouth. I suck down on her gently, running my tongue across her, alternating between sucking, licking, and tickling her with my breath. She tightens her muscles, desperate to clench something.
God, I want to stick my dick inside her and know what that would feel like, to have her tightening around me, to feel her nails down my back, to hold her ass as she rides me. Instead, I let my tongue linger at her entrance. She’s constricting over and over again, but I won’t let her have it. She needs to learn to take what she wants, to trust me with her body. I swear I hear her whimper a little. I can’t make her suffer. That would be cruel.
Slipping my tongue inside her, she clenches hard. “Oh, fuck!”
Fuck? She never talks like that. Shit, I’m in trouble here. She’s losing it. She begins to thrust on my tongue, tightening and releasing each time. I’m afraid it won’t be enough. I’m afraid she needs my dick in her to finish. Most women hit clitoral orgasms easiest, but Sutton seems to be a vaginal girl. She likes the penetration; she needs it. That will be good for me in the long run, but not right now. She needs more. I flip over on my back, pulling her with me, so she’s straddling my face. I feel her tense and growl, “Fuck my mouth.” I push her thighs open wider, so she can really push me deep.
Her hips start to move. “Oh!”
Her voice is so high. Don’t think any girl ever experiences oral like this her first time around. I can tell she’s afraid to let go, can feel it in the tension in her body. And I’ll be damned if she loses her orgasm. I tell her when to come and how to come. “Come, Sutton,” I demand but she doesn’t, not yet. She just keeps moving against my mouth, the stubble on my chin rubbing against her. I spank her ass, and finally feel her let go.
“Yes,” she moans, releasing all over my face.
Holy shit, that’s what the problem was. She knew she was going to do that and was holding back. The female ejaculation is about as rare as the Hope Diamond, so I’m a little surprised, but in a good way. Like I just found the diamond.
She collapses on her elbows, and I continue to lightly lick her, until she’s dry. She really does taste amazing. She rolls next to me, burying her head under a pillow.
I try to lift the pillow, but she holds it firmly. “Hey.”
“I’m sorry,” she says. “You don’t have to do that ever again.”
I pull her to me. “Why not? I loved it.”
She peeks out. “You did?”
I throw the pillow to the side. “Yeah, didn’t you?”
She wipes my face gently. “Too much.”
I chuckle. I can’t help it. Sex is fun, but it isn’t always clean. “Sutton, that made my dick so damn hard. Don’t you know making you come, giving you pleasure, is the biggest turn on there is? Please don’t ever take that away from me.”
Her eyes water. “I love that you just said that. Even if you don’t mean it.”
I tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. “I do mean it.” I pull her close, letting my breath mingle with hers. Some girls are really weird about a post oral kiss. I gently bite her bottom lip, forcing her lips to part. My tongue slips inside, and hers meets mine with hesitation, but then she gives a slow stroke across mine, and then another and another.
This is when I’m at my weakest—when I’m kissing her, our mouths moving the way I know our bodies one day will.
Her hand slides to my arm, and she pushes my hand down to my dick. She’s going to be strong and stick to the rules of my diet. I’m sure I’ll be thankful later when I’m sitting on Dr. Lorraine’s couch, but I’m not feeling thankful right now.
“You said you’d let me watch you,” she whispers.
I guess I did, but this is hardly what I want. I move my hand to her hip and pull her back to me. “Sutton.”
“I love how you say my name,” she says, her voice breathy.
“Do you love me?” I ask quietly. I’m playing hardball here, and I don’t intend to lose.
“I do love you,” she says, cupping my cheek.
Lots of women have claimed to love me. I’m sure some of them did, but the way she says it, with such vulnerability, makes her love feel like a precious gift. Something I have to take care of, not something to use to get what I want. I move my hand back to my dick. She bites her bottom lip, watching me stroke the length of my cock, unable to hide the desire in her eyes.
“I want to touch you,” she whispers. “Feel you sliding in and out of my fingers.”
Her fingers trace a path around my chest, down to my abs. She’s so close—a few inches lower. . . It seems like forever since a woman touched me, and my body’s aching, trembling as I pump harder and faster. I feel like a damn virgin.
“And my mouth,” she says. “I want that more. To know how you taste. To run my tongue along the length of you. I want you to let go in my mouth.”
“Fuck, baby,” I groan, grabbing the back of her neck. “You want to swallow?”
“Yes.”
“Christ, what I wouldn’t give for you to go down on me right now.” My dick is so hard, thumping in my hand. I look down at myself, pumping hard, needing to get there. My eyes lock on hers.
“Mostly, I want to slip you inside me. To know how you feel deep between my legs.”
She manages to talk dirty without using any of the usual words—pussy, cock, ass. But it’s still hot, maybe even hotter. The way her eyes are holding mine.
“I have an ache that only you can fix,” she says. “Only burying yourself in me will get rid of it. I know I’m going to want you over and over again. I know only you can satisfy me.”
I pull her to my mouth and kiss her hard as I shoot off onto my stomach. This woman is ruining me.