Chapter Twenty

Following Charles’s confession, it didn’t take long for the media sympathy to swing straight back in Lizzie’s favour. Just, Nick reminded her rather smugly, as he’d predicted. In fact, since they’d arrived back in England, she’d been inundated with new offers sent over by her agent. Apparently she was now flavour of the month. What a crazy world she inhabited.

Almost as crazy as the life they were living in England. They’d been back three days and each of those mornings Nick had woken with her in his arms and wondered if it would be his last.

‘Lizzie,’ he called out as he returned from his first day back in the office since they’d come back. ‘I’m home.’ Wincing at the glib phrase – heck, he sounded like the returning husband – he went to hunt her down. They might be playing at being married, but the clock was ticking on their time together. Sooner or later she’d find the perfect job, and she’d be gone.

‘I’m out on the patio.’

Squinting through the glass doors, he made out her slender figure sitting cross-legged on the lounger, sunglasses perched on her head, papers in her hand. She waved, and held up a glass. He knew the signal. Diving into the fridge, he pulled out the bottle of Sauvignon and went to join her.

‘What are you reading?’

She looked at him sombrely and his heart almost stopped. ‘A contract. Maria phoned to warn she was emailing it through. It’s the perfume again, Innocence. And this time they don’t just want me to front the campaign for the fragrance, they want me to represent the whole company brand. It seems they’re jumping up and down, desperate for me to sign and get started.’

‘Which company?’ he asked quietly, his heart a heavy weight in his chest.

‘Astella.’

His hand gripped at the wine glass. Astella was the fashion house. Even he’d heard of it. Famous for its iconic perfume, chic make-up and cutting edge fashion, it was a label models and film stars clamoured to be associated with. And they wanted Lizzie.

Feeling as though he’d had the stuffing knocked out of him, Nick slowly pulled the cork out of the bottle and poured them both a drink. ‘That’s good, isn’t it?’ he said eventually.

‘Yes, I guess it is.’

He clung gratefully to the fact that she looked no happier than he was. ‘When do they want you to start?’

He watched her swallow, then take in a deep breath. ‘As soon as possible.’

His world caved in. The dread, the sickening anticipation he’d experienced for days all came to a head and he almost couldn’t breathe. It was really happening. Lizzie was going to leave him.

‘You don’t have to do it,’ he told her, his voice sounding as unravelled as he felt. ‘Stay here with me, instead.’

He saw the answer in her eyes, and his heart crumpled. ‘I can’t,’ she replied brokenly.

A lone tear slid down her cheek but he was too focussed on his own misery to take much notice of hers. ‘No, sorry, of course you can’t. You need to go back to your career, don’t you?’

The venom in his tone made her flinch. ‘Yes.’

‘Well, that put me firmly in my place, didn’t it?’ He let out a low, humourless laugh. ‘Then again, why am I so surprised? Your career has always been the most important thing in your world, hasn’t it?’ He wondered how many rungs he was below it. Or even if he was on the damn ladder at all.

Lizzie longed to deny his statement, then slap his face. Or slap first, deny afterwards. But what he was saying was true, wasn’t it? She’d put her career before her parents’ happiness, first insisting on going to America, then whining when she was lonely, forcing them to go out and see her. So no, she deserved his cruel words, though it didn’t mean she had to take them sitting down.

‘Would you be so scathing of my career if I were a doctor? A lawyer?’ She didn’t let him answer. ‘Besides, it’s my career that helps to pay for Robert’s medical needs. You seem to have conveniently forgotten I have a brother in a coma in LA, but I can’t. There isn’t a day goes by without me remembering where my brother is.’ Or who put him there.

For a moment he said nothing. Just put his face in his hands and rubbed at his forehead. When he finally sat back up, he looked strained and so terribly sad. ‘I don’t mean to be scathing of your career. Truth is, I admire the hell out of what you’ve achieved. I lashed out because I don’t want you to go back, though I know you have to.’ He gave her a forlorn smile. ‘How does that saying go? All good things must come to an end.’

‘We were a good thing, weren’t we?’

Tenderly he trailed a finger down her cheek. ‘Better than good.’

She couldn’t handle the anguish in his eyes, or the way her heart was falling apart inside her chest. Jerkily she got to her feet. ‘I’ll go and phone Maria.’ Picking up the contract, she walked inside.

When she’d finished on the phone to her agent – at least someone was happy about all this – she found Nick still on the patio, staring morosely at the hills as the night grew dark around him. ‘I told Maria I’d fly back tomorrow.’

‘So soon?’

His voice sounded strangled and Lizzie felt her eyes prick. Hurting herself was bad enough, but hurting Nick? That was agony. ‘I might as well,’ she replied numbly. ‘I mean, if I’ve got to go, there’s no point putting it off. It’s just I’m not really ready to go yet …’ Her voice broke as her mind swirled with images of the time they’d spent together. The walks across the hills, the day on the river, the time at the villa. She didn’t want all that to end.

Before she knew it, Nick’s arms were around her, bringing with them the feeling of security, the sense of a strong warm haven she longed for. She burst into tears.

Nick held her, his heart breaking. He wanted to tell her they could fly Robert to England. That he’d help pay the medical bills, but somehow he knew she’d say no to that, too. Her life was in America now, and he had no right to expect her to give it up for him.

‘Will you come and visit me?’ Her big blue eyes glistened with tears as she stared up at him.

‘Hell, Lizzie, I don’t know.’ He wasn’t sure he was up for the torture of a slow transatlantic relationship death. ‘Isn’t it better to have a clean break? Not see each other for a while?’

She clutched at him, shaking her head. ‘I don’t think I can get on that plane if I know it’s the last time I’ll see you for a long time.’

He didn’t think he could put her on the plane, period.

‘Please?’

He studied her reddened nose and swollen eyes, and knew it would take a stronger man than him to refuse her. ‘Okay.’

‘Promise?’

He mustered the strength to smile. ‘Promise.’ Using his thumb, he wiped the tears from her eyes. ‘Though by the time you’ve become the face of Astella, you might not want to know me any more.’

She put a hand on either side of his face, clutching at him almost violently. ‘I will always want to see you, Nick. Always.’

‘Good.’ Taking her hand, he led her into the barn and into his bedroom.

He took his time undressing her, wondering if this would be the last time. The modelling world would soon captivate her again, as would another hunky male celebrity. It was unlikely she’d keep him to his promise when the world’s sexiest men were back on her doorstep.

‘Nick?’

He glanced down to find his hands clenching at her bra straps. ‘Sorry.’ Forcing them to relax, he gently tugged off her bra. Tonight he’d give her something to remember him by. And give the next man she took to her bed one hell of a lot to live up to.

Once again Lizzie found herself at the airport, saying goodbye to Nick. The last time she’d been too dazed with grief to remember much about it. This time she knew the pain of leaving Nick would stay in her memory for a long, long time.

Standing in the sterile departure lounge, all she could see around her were happy faces. Families preparing to go on holiday, lovers checking in for a romantic weekend break. God, what was she doing, leaving this man she loved so much? She flung her arms around him.

‘I’ve changed my mind. I want to stay. Please, let me stay.’

Briefly his arms tightened, but then he drew away. ‘You don’t mean that. You’ve just been handed a dream contract. Go home. Take up the Astella offer. You’ll live to regret it otherwise.’

She wouldn’t. For all the prestige it represented, it wasn’t the Astella contract pushing her onto that plane. It was her pride, her need to return to the place she’d left in shame with her head held high. Mostly though, it was Robert. She’d caused irrevocable damage to her family and somehow she had to try and make amends. The reasons didn’t matter though. She still had to get on the ruddy plane.

‘When will you come out and see me?’

‘When you invite me.’

‘Tomorrow?’

His smile didn’t reach his eyes. ‘I sense delaying tactics. Go and get on the plane, Lizzie. When you touch down in LA you’ll feel a whole lot better. If nothing else, at least you’ll have had a long sleep.’

The memory of that journey to England made her heart ache. ‘I don’t usually sleep on a plane. Not like I did coming over here. I must have been shattered.’

‘As long as it wasn’t the company.’

She tried to smile, but when tears flooded down her cheeks she knew it was no use. If she didn’t go now, she’d never go. Giving him a final quick kiss, she turned and walked away.

Staying might be what she wanted, but for too long she’d had what she wanted. Now it was time for what she deserved.