I stand outside the gates of the compound, watching for activity. The place is never really empty, which makes it nearly impossible to sneak in. The only positive I can say about having to fend for myself as a teenager was that it made me really good at breaking into places without anyone ever knowing I was there. Of course, back then I was only breaking in to find food or shelter.
I know there are cameras pointed toward the perimeter, but the floodlight nearest me is broken. That fact combined with the mask will make it hard to identify me afterward, as long as I'm not caught in the act, that is.
I can't scale the fences because of the barbed wire at the top, so I wait until someone leaves. There – I see a figure walk out the front doors and get on a bike. The chain link gates open, and the bike passes through. I dart inside, keeping close to the fence. The next part is what I'm most nervous about… I have to run clear across the open space from the fence to the compound's back door. That door is usually open because brothers like to walk out back to smoke.
I take a deep breath and make a break for it. I get into a full out sprint, and my legs are burning by the time I duck into the building's shadow. Now I can move a little more slowly. I crouch down, sticking close to the walls as I head toward the back. I round the corner, and there's the door. I try the handle, and thank god it's open.
I'm in the kitchen, and ahead of me is the hallway with all the bedroom doors off it, and the door to the basement. I can hear giggling from behind some of the doors, and hurry forward, hoping the bedrooms' occupants stay inside. I peer into the main room. It's empty. I cross it, and take out my lock pick. There's no light coming from inside the office, so I know it's empty.
This door has a fancier lock than the door to the basement. I twist my wrist, trying to get the tumblers to fall into place, but no luck. There's laughter from the back hallway, then the sound of voices. Shit. Someone's leaving the bedrooms and headed this way. I feel sweat moisten the inside of my mask. Don't panic. I take a deep breath, steady my hand, and focus. There, I hear a quiet click and the door unlocks.
I push the door open and duck inside, shutting it quietly behind me. I pause, every muscle alert, as I listen for the voices. They're in the main room now, that's certain, but are they coming this way? I hear a sharp, high-pitched laugh and shiver. That's Taz's voice. I wait. There's silence, and then I hear the front door shutting.
Thank god. I glance around the nearly black room. It would be completely dark, except for the computer on the nearest desk that hasn't gone into sleep mode yet. I dart over to it. Since I'm here, I might as well see if I can look in their files. I click the return key, and am asked for a password. Forget it. I don't have any kind of computer skills.
I take the bug out of my pocket and move toward the office in the back. This desk is made of solid wood unlike the other metal ones, and has a framed photo of Liz sitting on it. Definitely belongs to Tank.
I take a small flashlight off my belt and flick it on, then move it around the room. There's a filing cabinet in the corner that makes my fingers itch, but first I need to plant this bug. I walk around the back of the desk, then crouch under it. The thing is solid, so there aren't any panels to hide it behind. I try the drawers, but they're locked.
I glance over to a standing lamp in the corner. I tilt the base of it over, and see that the inside is hollow. Perfect. No one's going to happen to look here. I stick the bug up the base as far as I can, then set the lamp back down.
I've only been in here for two minutes, so I think I have time for the filing cabinet now. I take a step toward it, but stop in horror as I hear the sound of the door opening.
I pull back and duck under the desk as the overhead lights switch on. Fuck, fuck, fuck.
"I'm looking at your desk, and I don't see it," I hear Tank say. I bite down hard on my lip to keep from shaking. "Fine, I'll look," he says with a sigh, and I hear him walk toward the back, toward his office, toward the desk I'm hiding under.
I quietly pull myself as far back as I can. He won't be able to see me unless he sits in his desk chair or crouches down. I consider his size. I don't think I have much of a chance in a fight, especially since I'm already cornered.
"Just call it, will you?" he says, and I can tell by the respectful tone of his voice he's talking to Liz. Holy shit, I'm about to get caught because Liz forgot her phone here. He steps toward the desk, and I can see the toe of his black, steel-toed boot edging around it. We're both silent for a moment, and then a buzzing noise breaks the stillness. "Hang on, I think I hear it."
He walks away from the desk, and I can hear him rummaging. "Got it. You left it in this jacket thing. The blue one. You want that, too? Uh-huh. Anything else I can pick up for you?" he adds sarcastically.
His footsteps retreat toward the door, and I hear the door shut. I pull the mask up over my mouth for a second so I can take a deep breath. That was too close. If Tank had caught me, I'd be dead in a heartbeat. If I were lucky.
I wait another couple minutes to make sure he's gone, then get out from under the desk. As I crawl out, I lean toward the base of the lamp.
"This better be worth it," I whisper, hoping Drew and the Captain might hear it and feel some kind of guilt for making me take such a risk.
I head back out the way I came in, though I have to wait for two hours for another brother to leave so that I can sneak back out of the gate. As I hurry toward where I parked my car almost a mile away, I think about Ford.
How much longer can I continue to lie to him? I rip off my mask as tears come to my eyes. I know how I feel about him, and I think I know how he feels about me. I'm consumed by guilt. I should have never let it go so far between us.
Maybe in another world… But we're not in another world. And in this one, I've betrayed him from the very start of our relationship. Even calling it a relationship is false. A relationship can't be built on lies. He deserves so much better.