CHAPTER TWO
After his interview, Luke headed to his mother’s house in Minnewasta. Despite his protests, Abby insisted on making tea. Her slow movements around her kitchen were painful to watch. He needed all his self-control to keep from jumping out of his chair and filling the kettle himself, but he knew she needed to do these small chores simply to prove to herself she still could.
Abby pulled two teacups out of the cupboard and set them on the table before she sat down. She looked exhausted, as if making the tea had taken all her reserves of energy. “Luke honey, can you bring the teapot to the table?”
“Sure, Mom.”
He brought the teapot from the counter. “Can I pour you some?”
“Sure. I like it a little on the weaker side.”
He poured tea for her and then for himself, even though he hadn’t drunk tea in years and didn’t much like the stuff. But she didn’t have to know that.
“So, how did the interview go?” she asked.
“Good, I think. They’re going to check my references and get back to me.”
“They wanted to check your references? Why? Harper’s known you all your life.”
“That’s not how I want to get this job. I insisted they check.”
Abby smiled. “You always were too proud for your own good.”
He smiled back. He’d had to be. Minnewasta was just small enough and just conservative enough that some people looked down on an unwed mother and her illegitimate son. Sometimes, stubborn pride was all he had.
“You shouldn’t be turning your life upside down like this for me.”
Luke reached over and clasped her hand. “I’m not turning my life upside down. I’m doing exactly what I want to do in the place I want to do it.”
He’d been devastated by the news that his mother’s cancer was terminal. Devastated and wracked with guilt. He hadn’t been back to Minnesota to see her in many years. Sure, he talked to her on the phone or on Skype at least once a week, and she and Reese had made many trips out to California. But he’d only made a handful of trips home to Minnesota in the last ten years and none to Minnewasta. He’d been so adamant about putting the past behind him that he’d rarely made the effort to come to see her, or his grandmother. His actions shamed him now.
“Did you see Maggie?”
“Yeah, I saw her.”
Luke had been blown away. The pretty teenager he’d once known was now a beautiful young woman. The waist length hair he’d loved to run his fingers through was gone, replaced by a short, pixie cut. He missed her gorgeous hair, but he had to admit the cut suited her petite frame. With the hair gone, her neck appeared long and slender, and her dark brown eyes were huge in her beautiful oval face.
“Would you ask her to come and see me? I’ve sent messages through Harper and Scarlet, but she’s been a no-show. I think she’s still angry with me.”
That surprised him. “Why would she be angry with you?”
“Because I deserted her. We became very close after you left and her grandmother died, but it was better for Reese’s business to be in Minneapolis and, frankly, he didn’t want to live in Minnewasta. Maggie was only sixteen then, and she believed I’d abandoned her.”
The same way I abandoned her. Luke sipped his hot tea, the taste bitter on his tongue. “I’ll ask her, Mom.”
“Thanks, honey.” She paused to drink a bit of tea. “I saw her at Harper’s wedding in June and we said hello, but not much else. She looked so grown up, and so pretty. Don’t you think she looks pretty?”
“Yeah, she’s pretty.”
“So?”
“So what?”
“So, did any sparks fly between you?” Her blue eyes danced with mischief.
He laughed, happy to see a glimpse of the mother he’d loved, the one full of fun and good humor. “No, absolutely not. No sparks, flying or otherwise.”
Abby leaned back in her chair and regarded him. “You may laugh, but I can tell you first love is a powerful thing. It stays with you all your life.”
He rolled his eyes, making her laugh. “Are you speaking from personal experience? I hope you’re not carrying a torch for my father, the sperm donor.”
“No, not your father.”
He waited for her to elaborate, but she kept her thoughts to herself. He was glad she wasn’t secretly pining for Jerry Fields. Though he shared genetic material with the man, Jerry had never been a father to him, and he’d never been any kind of partner to his mom. Luke wanted nothing to do with him.
“Mom, I’ve been doing some research,” he began cautiously. “Ever since you told me about the diagnosis you got from your doctors, I’ve been looking online for new treatments for lung cancer. There’s been interesting developments recently.”
Resignation etched his mother’s fine features. “Reese has taken me everywhere, talked to everyone. And they all say there’s nothing to be done.”
“I’ve been talking to an oncologist in California who’s had good results with a new treatment.”
“I really don’t have the energy to go to California, Luke.”
“You don’t have to. He’s agreed to look at your medical files. All you need to do is give a blood sample and your permission for him to look at your records.”
She touched his hand. “Honey, I know you’re doing this out of love, but—”
“You can’t give up, Mom.” Luke gripped her hand, suddenly afraid. “You have to fight this. You can beat it, I know you can.”
For a long moment, she stared unblinking into his eyes. Finally, she sighed. “All right, I’ll let you send my records to this doctor.”
Relief flooded through him. “Good. I’ll arrange for a technician to come to the house to take a blood sample as soon as possible.”
She held up her hand. “I’ll only agree on one condition.”
He should have known it wouldn’t be quite so easy. “What condition?”
“I want you to meet with Jerry. Talk to him.”
“Mom, come on—”
“No, you can’t weasel out of this. If you want me to go through the process of talking to yet another doctor, you have to do something for me. I want you to see him. He’s asked about you.”
“Jerry’s asked about me?” Luke leaned back in his chair and folded his arms across his chest. “It’s a little late to remember he fathered a son, isn’t it?”
“He came to see me and told me how sorry he was for abandoning both of us. He wants to make amends.”
“I have no intention of paying him a visit.” The man had had no time for him while he was growing up, and Luke had no time for him now.
“Luke, don’t let old resentments fester inside you. Forgiveness would help you far more than it would help Jerry.”
“I don’t want to see him, Mom.”
“Luke—”
Abby set down her cup with a clatter as a sudden coughing fit seized her. Luke jumped to his feet and brought her a glass of water, not knowing what else to do. The cancer was slowly destroying her lungs.
In a few moments, her coughing stopped. She drank some water and smiled weakly at him. “I think I need to lie down for a while, honey. I’m sorry to cut your visit short.”
Luke kissed her forehead. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll be back tomorrow.”
“That sounds good.”
He helped her to her bed and eased her head onto the pillow, removing her slippers before pulling the blanket over her. “Can I get you anything before I leave?”
Her eyes drifted shut, her face a mask of exhaustion. “No, I’m fine. I’ll sleep for a while before Reese comes home.”
He kissed her forehead once more. “Bye, Mom. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Will you contact your father?”
He stared at her small, prone figure. Despite her illness, the determined, stubborn streak that had carried her through every adversity in her life shone through. Luke tipped back his head and stared at the ceiling. She was serious. Unless he met with Jerry, she wouldn’t talk to the new doctor. And talking to the new doctor was vital.
Life or death.
“Okay, fine. I’ll talk to Jerry.”
“When?”
Luke rolled his eyes and resisted the urge to groan. “Soon. This week.”
“Promise?”
“I promise. Geez, Mom.”
The corners of her mouth turned up, though she didn’t open her eyes. “Okay. Bye, honey.”
“Bye.”
Luke softly closed the door of her room, struggling to hold back tears. Why did this have to happen to her? She was the sweetest, most positive person he knew. She’d never hurt anyone or anything.
He couldn’t come up with an answer. There were no answers to be found.
Luke drove his rental car the short distance to his grandmother’s house, the house he’d grown up in. Nothing much had changed. Phyllis Carlsson’s house was robin’s egg blue with white trim and a red door, the way it had always been. A white picket fence still circled the front yard, although this was a newer version rather than the ancient one he’d had to paint every other summer. He’d been expected to do a lot of chores growing up, and they’d helped him become self-reliant. His Grandma’s house represented happiness for him. And love.
He pulled his suitcase from the trunk of the car and headed to the front door. As usual, the door was unlocked and he stepped inside. “Hello? Are you home, Grandma?”
She emerged from the kitchen wearing a flowered apron and a big smile. “Luke! It’s so wonderful to see you.”
She clasped his face between her hands and kissed him. Luke wrapped his arms around her and held on tight. He’d forgotten how tiny she was, how fragile. He buried his face in her soft white hair and inhaled a combination of vanilla and ginger. It had been a long time since he’d seen her. Too long.
“I missed you, Grandma.”
“I missed you, too. But you’re here now. That’s all that matters.”
A wave of guilt rushed over him. She’d only been able to make the trip out to California twice in the last ten years. He should have come home to see her instead of letting old hurts and fears stop him. She was getting up in age. There was no telling how long she’d be around.
He thought his mother would be around forever, but he’d been wrong.
Luke pushed the thought away. She was going to get better. He’d make sure she got treatment and everything would be fine.
He released her, and Phyllis gave him a grin. “I’ve been cooking since you called me. All your favorite dishes.”
“You shouldn’t have gone to so much trouble.” He hoped his stay wouldn’t be too much for her.
She waved away his remark. “Are you kidding? It’s been fun to cook for someone else again. Cooking for one is boring.”
His grandmother had been the best cook in the neighborhood when he was a kid. Her pies were legendary at community suppers and her cookies had been popular with all the kids on the block. Luke’s personal favorite had always been her gingerbread cookies. They were sweet and spicy, and their moist chewiness melted in his mouth. He salivated thinking about them. “Well, in that case, I’m looking forward to all the goodies.”
Phyllis beamed at him. “Supper’s almost ready. Why don’t you take your suitcase to your old room and get settled in? Supper will be on the table after you’ve had a chance to freshen up.”
“Can I help with anything? I don’t want you to wait on me.”
She waved away his concern once more. “No, absolutely not. Go on and let me have my fun. It’s not every day my grandson comes home.”
He chuckled, his heart overflowing with love for her. God, how he’d missed his grandmother. “Okay, I’ll let you have your way tonight, but that’s it. I won’t let you run yourself ragged.”
She made a sound of disgust but softened it with a laugh. “Spoil sport.”
Luke laughed and carried his suitcase to his room. Not much had changed here either. Grandma had painted the room a soft blue and his old twin-sized bed had been swapped out for a new queen-sized with a new comforter, but all his old track and field trophies were still displayed on a shelf. Those days seemed like a different life now.
He hung his shirts in the small closet and folded underwear and jeans into the ancient dresser he’d used as a kid. Most of his clothes were of the warm weather variety. Right now, the weather was unseasonably warm for November in Minnesota, but it could turn bitterly cold in a heartbeat. If he was going to make it through the winter, he’d have to buy some appropriate clothing. Like a parka. The thought of winter in Minnesota caused an involuntary shiver to race up his spine.
After washing his hands and face, he made his way back to the kitchen. Phyllis was setting a big pot on the table between two place settings of her best dishes. The pang of guilt jolted him once again. He didn’t want to be treated like company. All he wanted to be was family.
He made himself smile. “That smells really good, Grandma. Is it your famous chili?”
She lifted the lid with a flourish. “It is. I hope this version is as good as you remember. It’s been a while since I’ve made it. Well, come on. Let’s dig in.”
“Great, I’m starved. I missed lunch.”
His plane landed in Minneapolis around noon, and he hadn’t wanted to waste time finding something to eat. He called Harper Lindquist, then picked up his rental car and headed straight to Solace Lake for his interview. When he’d seen their ad online for a hotel and restaurant manager, he knew the universe was telling him to come home.
Grandma’s chili was as delicious as he remembered. Combined with her homemade bread, it was a taste of his childhood.
Phyllis kept up a steady banter about the goings on in the community. After ten years, he barely remembered the people she talked about, but he enjoyed hearing about his grandmother’s life and her friends. In return, he told her about his life and his friends in the Napa Valley.
They talked about everything except the reason he’d come home.
Luke helped clear the table and load the dishwasher, one of the few new additions to the kitchen. They washed a couple of pots and pans, and Phyllis untied her apron.
“Are you still a coffee drinker?” she asked.
“Yes, I am. I’d love some.”
While the coffee brewed, she reached into the jar on the counter and arranged some cookies on a plate. She set the plate on the table and they both resumed their seats. “Your favorite, the gingerbread.”
Even though he was stuffed from dinner, he couldn’t pass up his favorite cookie. The remembered flavor sent his taste buds into ecstasy. “Mmm, delicious, Grandma.”
“I tried tempting Abby with some of my cookies, but she has no appetite.” Tears shone in her eyes. “It’s not right she should die before me.”
She suddenly looked very old and very sad. Luke reached for her hand and laced his fingers with hers.
“She’s not going to die, Grandma. I’ve been talking to a world-renowned cancer specialist in California, and he’s agreed to look at her medical records and determine whether she’s a good candidate for a new therapy he’s testing.”
“Does your mother know this?”
“Yes, of course. I had to have her consent. She agreed to release her records to him and submit a blood sample.”
Phyllis wiped at a stray tear. “I’m surprised. When the last round of chemo didn’t have any affect on her cancer, the doctors said there wasn’t anything further they could do. Abby made her peace with the news. She’s tired. She’s been fighting for a long while now.”
“I know, but this is something different, a new doctor and a new treatment. There’s hope.”
She squeezed his hand. “Your mother is very sick, Luke. I don’t want you to get your hopes up too high.”
“I won’t.”
He was lying. He was counting on this new doctor to perform a miracle. In the two years since she’d been diagnosed, Reese had taken his mother to some of the best hospitals and doctors in the state. Reese had done everything he could, but Luke wasn’t ready to give up. He couldn’t.
“I’m shocked Abby consented. What did you say to convince her?”
He shifted in his chair. “I may have promised to talk to Jerry Fields.”
Phyllis threw her head back and laughed. “That’s my girl. She drives a hard bargain.”
“You’re not kidding.”
“It’ll do you good to come to terms with Jerry. He wasn’t much of a father to you growing up, but he seems to want to make amends. You might be astounded by what you learn if you get to know him.”
Luke didn’t believe it for a minute. “I’m not interested in getting to know him.”
“Look, you don’t have to fall in love with the man. You don’t even have to send him a card at Christmas. You only need to acknowledge he’s your father. It’s a fact of life and you can’t deny it anymore.”
Acknowledging Jerry Fields as his father was the last thing he wanted to do. But a promise was a promise.