CHAPTER NINE
Maggie was surprised by Luke’s arrival at the lodge the next morning while they were having breakfast. After the news he’d received, she thought he might take the day off to be with Abby.
Harper approached him first, wordlessly putting her arms around him. Maggie had told her sisters about the specialist’s diagnosis. She couldn’t get her head around the idea that Abby would soon be gone.
But Luke didn’t need her tears or her regrets right now.
“Have you eaten?” she asked.
He shook his head, and she nodded. “I’ll make you a couple of eggs. Over easy with whole wheat toast, right?”
He gave her a small grin. “Right. You have an amazing memory, Mags.”
She hurried to the safety of the kitchen and grabbed a carton of eggs from the cooler. Her memory was indeed amazing. She remembered every detail of their ill-fated summer together. How he’d raved over the eggs she’d made for him as if they were some sort of exotic dish. She remembered the heat of his skin and way the sun shone on his dark hair, bringing out the auburn highlights. She remembered the first time he entered her body, both the pain and the ecstasy. And she remembered his tenderness and how he held her like she was precious to him.
She wished she could forget.
For months following Luke’s departure, she thought about him every minute of every day. She remembered the magic of the summer, but mostly she agonized over why he’d left her so abruptly and so cruelly. Fretted over what she’d done wrong. Eventually, she came to believe he grew tired of her and that her grandmother had been right in saying he’d used her.
But that hadn’t stopped her from thinking about him, or comparing every man she met to him despite her best efforts to forget.
Maggie slid the eggs onto a plate and added the toast. Taking a deep breath, she picked up the plate and returned to the dining room. Luke gave her a grateful smile as she set it in front of him.
They finished eating in silence. Finally, Ethan spoke. “We heard about the specialist, Luke. If you want to take a few days—”
“No. I want to work. There’s plenty to do before the grand opening, and I…I need to keep busy.”
She should have known he’d want to bury himself in work because she used the same tactic. Whenever she didn’t want to deal with reality, she headed to her kitchen.
Ethan nodded. “Okay. Whatever you want.”
Luke got to his feet. “Thank you all for being so supportive. If you’ll excuse me, I’ve got some resumes to go through.”
Maggie watched him leave. There was a slump in his shoulders that hadn’t been there before. Despite the hurt that had simmered in her heart for the past ten years, she didn’t want to be angry with Luke any longer. Life was too short for anger, and she hated feeling that way.
But she wasn’t sure she could forgive. Or trust. At least, not the way she once had.
Luke gave the wrench a quarter turn to tighten the drainpipe before crawling out from beneath his grandmother’s kitchen sink. He turned the cold-water faucet on full and bent to see if the drain was still leaking. A steady stream of water told him he hadn’t fixed the problem.
He turned off the tap. “Damn.”
“I told you I could call the plumber. He lives right down the street.”
“I can do this, Grandma.”
“I’m sure you can,” Phyllis said with a nod. “But you don’t have to. You didn’t need to clean out my garage either. This busy work of yours isn’t going to change anything. Nothing will.”
He wriggled his shoulders into the tight confines of the wet sink cabinet once more. “I can’t sit around.”
“Your mother says you haven’t been to see her in a couple of days.”
The wrench slipped and clanked against the copper pipe. He had no answer for her. The truth was he’d been hiding, either at the lodge or with chores at his grandmother’s house. He couldn’t make himself go to her.
“I know it hurts. I know you feel powerless because I feel that way myself. And I’m angry, angrier than I’ve ever been in my life. I’m so angry that Abby is leaving me that I want to spit. I want to hit someone. I want to break something. It’s not supposed to be this way.”
Luke’s heart thumped painfully in his chest. He didn’t want to hear about his grandmother’s pain. His own grief tore at him like a wild animal, consuming him piece by piece. He couldn’t deal with her grief as well. He fitted the wrench carefully on the pipe once more.
“But you know what, Luke? Every day I put on my big girl panties, and I suck it up to walk the two blocks to my daughter’s house. I help her wash her hair or take a bath, and I make tea and chat. Whatever she needs. But I always make sure I share a laugh with her. Because right now, it’s not about me and my suffering. It’s about Abby.”
He twisted the wrench with both hands, using every ounce of his remaining strength. He was rewarded with a tiny movement. What he needed to do was to get his ass out of this cupboard, turn on the taps, and see if he’d fixed the leak. Instead, he closed his eyes and rested his head against the wet cupboard floor, too exhausted to move.
His grandmother must have lowered herself to the floor because a moment later she touched his knee. “Stop punishing yourself, Luke. It’s not your fault. It’s not anybody’s fault.”
Was that what he’d been doing the last couple of days? Punishing himself? Throwing himself a little pity party? His grandmother was right, none of that would help his mother.
“Now, if you’re finished under there, help me to my feet. I’m like a turtle who got flipped onto her back. I can’t get up.”
Luke scrambled up, then reached out his arms and gently helped her to her feet. He put his arms around her in a hug. “I’m sorry, Grandma.”
“I know, baby. I know.”
She patted his back with a soothing stroke, much like she’d done when he was a kid and he’d skinned his knees. He allowed himself a few moments of comfort before stepping back. “I’ll clean up this mess and then walk over to Mom and Reese’s place.”
Phyllis nodded. “That’s a good idea.”
What would happen to her once his mother was gone? She didn’t drive and had to depend on friends and Reese for rides to the grocery store or to her doctor. Phyllis was well into her seventies. She shouldn’t have to worry about mowing the grass in the summer and shoveling snow in winter. And he was too far away to be of any help.
Time he stepped up.
He turned on the faucet once more. To his relief, the leak had stopped. “Grandma, have you given any thought to where you’re going to go, when Mom…is gone?”
Her brow wrinkled. “I’m not going anywhere. I’m staying right here, of course. Where would I go?”
“You could come with me to California. I’ve got a decent-sized condo.”
“Condo?”
Her horrified expression made him laugh. “Come on. You’d think I threatened to send you out on an ice flow. California is a nice place.”
“Yes, it is, and it’s very kind of you to offer, but my life is here in Minnewasta. I wouldn’t know what to do with myself out there.”
“You can do whatever you like. You wouldn’t have to deal with the snow and cold, and I’ve got a patio where you can garden all year long. It would be good to have you with me.”
She reached for his hand and linked his fingers with hers. Her palm was soft and warm, and her smile sad. “It’s sweet of you to offer, but you’re a young man. You need your own space. Anyway, this is my home and it’s where I belong. All my friends are here. I know practically everyone in town. If I need something, a friend is only a phone call away.” She gave his hand a little squeeze. “Besides, after Abby is gone, Reese is going to need me.”
He nodded. She was probably right about that.
Phyllis bowed her head, her shoulders slumping. “It’s a very sad thing, you know, for your child to die before you do. It’s not supposed to happen that way.”
“I’m sorry, Grandma.”
He worried about how Reese and his grandmother would cope when his mother was gone.
But mostly he wondered how he would cope.
The soft footfall alerted Luke to a visitor. He looked up from his desk to see Maggie standing at the open door of the office, a tray of coffee and baked goods in her hands.
“Can I come in?”
Her face was unsmiling and tense. He gestured to the chair in front of the desk. “Yes, of course.”
She set the tray on the desk, but remained standing. “Would you like coffee?”
“Sure.”
He watched while she poured coffee from a carafe. She had beautiful hands, petite yet elegant, with slim, tapered fingers and neat fingernails. He remembered how soft her hands had been as they’d touched his bare skin…
Don’t go there.
Using tongs, she placed a shell-shaped confection onto a dessert plate and then pouring from a small jug, swirled a bit of creamy yellow sauce around the cake. “Would you like to try one of these?”
He accepted the plate from her. “What are they?”
“They’re called Madeleines, my grandmother’s recipe. These are blueberry-lemon and the sauce is a lemon curd. I’m developing some recipes that I thought we could use for afternoon Sunday teas. I figure not everybody is going to want to mush a dog sled or skate around the lake.”
Breaking off a small piece with the fork Maggie handed him, Luke dipped the cake into the sauce and popped it into his mouth. The Madeleine was light and fluffy, and the blueberries and lemon curd combined to create an explosion of fresh flavors, like a little taste of spring.
“It’s wonderful. I’m sure guests will love it.”
“Thank you.”
She fidgeted with the coffee carafe, picking it up and then setting it down again. “Do you mind if I close the door for a moment?”
Luke tensed, but nodded his assent. “Go ahead.”
She closed the office door with a soft click, then turned to face him, her hands clutched in front of her. She lifted her gaze to his. “I know you said you didn’t want me to apologize, but I can’t let it go. What I said to you about…about not coming home until your mother was dying, it was a horrible thing to say and I’m sorry. You didn’t deserve it.”
“But you were right. I haven’t been around for my mother or my grandmother.”
Maggie sat in the chair on the other side of the desk. “You’re here now. That’s all that matters.”
He nodded, even though guilt clawed at him. He couldn’t make up for lost time, no matter how much he might want to.
She looked down at her clenched hands, the knuckles white with strain. “I lashed out at you because you hit on a sore point. I’m scared. I went with the three desserts because I’ve been preparing them for years and know I can do them well. I was afraid to try something more ambitious because if I fail, the restaurant fails. I can’t let Harper and Ethan down.”
“You never used to be afraid to try anything. What happened, Maggie?”
“Life happened. Turns out I’m not the hot stuff I thought I was.” She looked away. “I’m not even the decent person I thought I was.”
Luke leaned forward, his heart stuttering. Someone had hurt her badly. It suddenly occurred to him that he didn’t know her anymore and the realization saddened him. Once, he would have said he knew her better than he knew himself. “I know for certain neither of those statements are true.”
She frowned and gave a negligent shrug, dismissing his words. “I want to do the best job I can for the lodge, and I need to work with you to make that happen. Can you forgive me?”
Lines of tension had formed around her mouth, as if she was afraid the things she’d said were beyond forgiveness.
He couldn’t let her believe that. Luke got to his feet and extended his hand across the desk. “Apology accepted.”
She eyed his hand. “Just like that?”
“Just like that. Truce?”
Maggie rose and grasped his hand in a firm shake, her mouth unsmiling. Luke tried to ignore the awareness that shot through his body at her touch.
“Truce,” she said.
Scarlet craned her neck to see the back of the wedding dress in the three-way mirror. She frowned. “I don’t know. All this stuff – the crystals, the train, the beading – feels like too much. We’re having a simple wedding. I think I want a simpler dress.”
“Of course,” the saleslady said politely. Maggie was sure she heard disappointment in the woman’s voice at the prospect of a smaller commission. “I’ll search the racks again and come up with some simpler options. But I want to remind you that with your wedding being in a couple of weeks, it will have to be a sample dress that fits you well without a lot of alteration needed. That limits our selection somewhat.”
“I understand. A dress I can take home with me today is exactly what I want.”
Maggie and her sisters had taken the day off from preparations for the wedding and the grand opening to drive to Minneapolis to shop for Scarlet’s wedding dress. She cherished this rare opportunity to spend time with them. With both her sisters finding love with the Hainstock brothers in the last few months, she’d become a fifth wheel, an outsider. Reconnecting with Harper and Scarlet made her happy, even if it was only for the day.
“This may not be your wedding dress, but I have to tell you, it looks beautiful on you,” Harper said.
“What doesn’t look beautiful on her?” Maggie said with a laugh. “The woman could wear a sack and look great.”
With the three of them facing the mirror, Maggie marvelled at the dissimilarities in their physical appearances, as she had so often. Harper and Scarlet were tall and fair and lithe, and she was short and dark. As a child, she’d asked her grandmother why she didn’t have blue eyes like her sisters. Grandma told her she resembled her own brothers and sisters who were short in stature and dark-haired, and she wasn’t to worry about it. Maggie had never met any of these great-aunts and uncles so she couldn’t judge for herself, but the answer satisfied her at the time.
Scarlet lifted the voluminous skirts of the wedding dress and followed the saleslady to the dressing room. “I’ll be back,” she said as she disappeared down a corridor.
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen Scarlet so happy,” Harper said. “She seems at peace.”
“Yes, I think you’re right. Cam makes her very happy. Just like Ethan makes you happy.”
A dreamy smile spread across her sister’s face. “Yes. Ethan makes me very happy.”
Maggie wondered if happiness like that would ever come her way. A picture of Luke came to mind. Once, long ago, she’d been that happy. But she’d been far too young to understand how precious love like that was. It had ended quickly, and with a heart-breaking wrench, as did her next relationship. They’d both left such painful scars, she wasn’t sure she even wanted to try again.
Maggie’s breath caught in her throat as Scarlet re-appeared and stepped up on the pedestal in front of the big mirrors. Scarlet wore a full-length dress in a delicate ivory lace. From the front, the dress appeared relatively modest; an allusion neckline of sheer tulle and lace appliques covered her upper chest and shoulders and swept down her arms to form full-length sleeves. But the back of the dress was the true stunner. The same sheer material covered her entire back, giving the simultaneous impression of being both completely open and modestly covered. A simple lace train fell in soft folds and formed a half circle around Scarlet. The ivory color suited her red hair perfectly and made her fair skin look warm instead of washed out like the bright white had. The dress was deceptively simple, yet utterly stunning. Not to mention ridiculously sexy.
“I love the lace, and I think the color suits me. And it fits perfectly. No alteration necessary.” Scarlet’s eyes met Maggie’s in the mirror. “I think this might be the one. What do you think?”
Maggie burst into tears, shocked at her emotional reaction. She was relieved to see tears streaming down Harper’s cheeks as well. At least she wasn’t the only one.
Scarlet laughed. “I’ll take that as a yes.”
She lifted her skirts and stepped off the pedestal, her arms open wide. Maggie and Harper stepped into them and, laughing and crying, they hugged each other.
“Oh, my God,” Harper said through her tears. “Cam’s going to lose his mind when he sees you in this dress.”
Scarlet laughed. “If this is what the dress does to you, I can’t wait to see his reaction.”
“I’m thinking this means you’ll take the dress,” the saleslady said with a smile.
“You bet.” Scarlet gave Maggie a wink. “Now all we have to do is find bridesmaid dresses for my sisters.”
Maggie groaned. “More shopping?”
Scarlet threw her arm around her shoulders. “We’re just getting started, sweetie.”