Chapter 24

Moira

“Okay, this is the first time I’ve had you alone since you got here… you need to spill everything right now,” Lisa says, and I tear my gaze away from Zach as he swims in the Atlantic Ocean.

Turning to my sister, who sits beside me on the beach in a lounge chair with a big floppy hat on her head, I smile at her briefly before turning back to look at Zach. “Not much to tell.”

God, he’s so freaking gorgeous. He’s wearing a pair of navy-blue board shorts that hang low on his hips, and I can’t help but stare at the “V” cut muscles at the bottom of his abdomen, which are only second in beauty to the washboard abs he sports. He’s utterly perfect… lightly muscled but not too bulky with an absolutely smooth, hairless chest. His legs are powerful, just the perfect size for his towering height.

“Geez, Moira… your tongue is practically hanging out of your mouth while you stare at him,” Lisa says with a snort and slaps my arm. “So dish. Give it to me.”

I peel my eyes off Zach, giving a brief glance at Adam as he plays with Colleen and Samuel in the shallower water, and then turn to look at Lisa. She’s lying on her side in the lounge chair, staring intently at me.

“It’s so crazy,” I tell her, because that’s the best way to describe Zach and me. “I mean… at first, when I was bringing him back to the States, he couldn’t stand me. He refused to engage with me and was fighting against me at every turn.”

“Like how?” she asks curiously.

“Like refusing to eat with utensils and refusing to wear clothes.”

Lisa’s jaw drops, and then she whispers, “He went naked?”

Nodding my head, I tell her, “Around the house.”

“Oh, God… fantasy come true,” she murmurs. “You lucky bitch.”

“I didn’t feel lucky,” I tell her truthfully. “It was frustrating as hell because I couldn’t cross that line with him.”

“But clearly you did,” she points out. She knows this for a fact, because when I came out into the kitchen this morning, she handed me a cup of coffee and said, “I don’t even have to ask if you had a good night last night. I clearly heard you did.”

My face went up in flames, then I was horrified that the kids had heard us, but she told me to relax, that they had slept through it. Then she nudged my shoulder and whispered in my ear, “But it sort of got Adam and me worked up, so thank you for that.”

Geez. Now my sexual escapades were making others horny. Just great.

“So, what changed?” Lisa asks.

“I just couldn’t resist him. I wanted him too much. So I gave in and submitted to it.” I don’t provide any more clarity on the details, and she certainly doesn’t need to know my submission meant that he put me on my knees and fucked me without emotion from behind. While that first time felt amazing, when I think back on it, I don’t ever want to go back to that place again. Seeing all the depth of feeling Zach gives me now when we come together has spoiled me too much. I have his emotion now… I’m not giving that back.

“What are you going to do?” Lisa asks, and I know exactly what she’s asking. She and I email each other almost every day, and we talk a few times a week. I’ve kept her updated on Zach’s progress, and she’s well aware that he wants to return to Caraica.

“Zach has sort of committed to stay here a year. So I’m going to make the most of it,” I tell her simply.

“But at the end of the year?”

“He returns to his home… in Caraica,” I tell her sadly.

“And what will you do?”

“Probably die of a broken heart, I’m thinking.”

“Oh, sweetie,” Lisa says in commiseration, swinging her legs over the side of her lounge chair. Planting her feet in the sand, she leans forward and takes my hands. “I’m sorry. Maybe he’ll decide to stay.”

Shrugging my shoulders, I give her fingers a squeeze. “I doubt it. I don’t think he finds anything here that rivals his love for his home.”

Lisa’s eyes soften with sympathy. “Do you love him?”

“Getting there,” I admit dejectedly. “But it’s completely one-sided.”

Leaning over to the cooler that sits at the end of our chairs, Lisa reaches in and pulls out two beers. After she hands me one and opens her own, she says, “It’s still early. A year is a long time. Feelings can develop.”

“Or his longing for home can worsen,” I point out as I twist the cap off my bottle. I take a long sip and then lean back in my chair, pointing my face up to the hot Carolina sun and letting its warmth seep in to me.

“Well, just judging by the way he looks at you, I think there’s a whole lot more to the way Zach feels than you give him credit for.”

Turning my head to look back at Lisa, I ask, “What do you mean?”

She merely nods toward the shore’s edge, and I turn to see Zach walking out of the water toward us.

Rather, toward me. Raking his eyes over my body, he gives me a penetrating smile. His eyes are warm and hungry as he takes a hand and runs it through his wet hair. God, I could just perish right now from how beautiful he is.

Zach stares at me the entire time he walks our way, and Lisa mutters, “Geez… you two are going to need to get a room just from that look.”

I snicker to myself and watch Zach reach into the cooler to pull out a beer.

“Have fun in the ocean?” I ask.

“I did, but it would be more fun if you came out there with me,” he says with a licentious grin.

“No way. I already explained to you I don’t go in water where I can’t see my feet. You do understand there are sharks out there, right?”

Zach laughs and flops down on the chair next to mine, kicking his long legs out and resting his beer on his taut stomach, which is dotted with sparkling drops of sea-salted water.

“Mommy,” Colleen screams from the water’s edge. “Come look… sand crabs.”

Lisa gives a disgusted look and makes a dramatic shudder. “Ew… I hate those things, but the kids love catching them.”

Standing from the chair, she leans down and punches the end of her beer bottle down in the sand to hold it upright. “A mother’s duty is never done.”

Zach and I watch her walk to where Adam and the children are squatted down near the tide line, pushing their fingers through the wet sand and looking at the crabs.

“Have I told you how hot you look in that bikini?” Zach asks me, and I turn my head to look at him. His eyes drift down to my breasts, and he licks his lips.

I bring a finger up and trace the edge of the material that sits on the inner swell of my breast. “What? This old thing?”

Zach’s blue eyes darken to the color of denim, and his voice is rough when he says, “Let’s go back to the cottage.”

I give him a sweet smile. “No way. We’re hanging on the beach today with my sister and her family. No time for sex.”

His look is sinister when he leans over toward me and runs a finger down my leg. “I’ll make you pay for that later.”

Grabbing his finger, I pull it up to my mouth and bite the tip of it. His breath rushes out in a hiss, so I lick the end and he gives a soft moan. “Maybe I’ll make you pay instead.”

Zach jerks away from me and leans over the side of the chair. Grabbing a towel from one of the three large bags we packed with various supplies, he tosses it over his lap and grumbles, “Christ… you gave me a fucking hard-on, and I can’t do a thing about it.”

Leaning over in my chair, I stroke my hand down his arm. “Poor baby. Tell you what… I’ll give you a stupendous blow job when we go in later and take a shower. How does that sound?”

Zach groans again and leans his head back in the chair, squeezing his eyes shut. “You’re killing me, Moira. Absolutely killing me.”

“Why is she killing you?” I hear and look up to see Adam strolling up. He reaches into the cooler and grabs a beer, easily popping the top and taking a huge chug. Flopping down in Lisa’s abandoned lounge chair, he places his feet to the side in the sand.

“Abandoned the sand crab hunt?” I ask, avoiding his question, which would have only been satisfied with the embarrassing answer that I gave Zach an erection.

Adam shudders the same way Lisa did, except his seems more genuine. “I hate those little fuckers. They’re like little spiders with shells.”

Laughing, I tease, “So you leave it up to the woman to handle those things?”

“Abso-fucking-lutely,” he says with a wry grin. “I have no problem with the woman doing those things. I even make her kill the spiders we find in the house, which I’m betting makes me seem like a lame-ass to Zach.”

Zach laughs in good nature. “Nah, man. Spiders give me the willies too.”

“Yeah,” Adam agrees as he waves his beer bottle around. “But you can be all manly and say that. You freakin’ hunt monstrous anacondas and battle alligators. You’re allowed to be afraid of spiders. I don’t have that type of street cred.”

We all three laugh in unison as we watch Lisa comb for crabs with the kids.

“So, what are you going to do with the rest of your time here?” Adam asks Zach.

“Going to try to find a job to keep busy. I don’t like using Randall’s money.”

“Are you two going to stay in Atlanta?” Adam asks as he absently brushes sand off his legs.

“For now,” I say. “Then we’ll go back to Evanston when classes start up for winter semester.”

Adam nods in understanding. “But you’ll definitely go back to Caraica? You don’t want to stay here?”

My body stiffens slightly over Adam’s probing questions. It’s not that he’s asking anything inappropriate, but it makes me uneasy because Zach has only recently committed to spending time here and part of me is afraid he really didn’t mean that offer.

“That’s my plan, but I’m going to stay here for at least a year,” Zach says smoothly, and while it still hurts every time he talks about leaving, I’m relieved to hear absolutely no regret in his admission that he’s going to be staying for a while.

“Gotcha,” Adam says, and then he turns in the chair to look at Zach over me. “So, tell me… what’s it like… really… where you live? What’s a typical day like in the wild?”

Zach stands up briefly and turns his chair to face Adam. I can see absolute pleasure on his face that someone has asked about his home, and he’s clearly eager to share it.

“First… it’s the most beautiful place you can imagine,” Zach says with reverence in his voice. “Green as far as the eye can see. The air is heavy… like a soft blanket… and sometimes smells like perfume because of the wild flowers. Brilliant-colored birds fly overhead. The jungle can be mysteriously quiet, although it can be very noisy when all the animals are chattering. But there’s also danger, and I live every moment on the edge… always aware that a small misstep could have grave consequences. It’s hard to describe… but, when you are always cognizant of how fragile life is in that environment, you feel more alive… more exhilarated.”

Adam’s eyes are wide and almost glazed in a hypnotized fashion as he listens to Zach paint a pretty picture of his life. But I know it’s much harder than what Zach is portraying. I know every day is a struggle to keep their society whole and free from harm.

“What do you do every day there?”

“The man’s main job is to protect the tribe.”

“From wild animals?” Adam asks with intrigue.

“Sometimes,” Zach says. “But also from other tribes that attempt to raid us.”

“Seriously? That happens?”

“Absolutely,” Zach says. “There are a few tribes that we are constantly at war with.”

I hope Adam doesn’t push for more information because I absolutely don’t want Zach telling him that those raids and wars result in loss of life. I don’t want him knowing that Zach has killed, because while I understand it based on my education and background and the way I’ve come to know Zach on a deeper level, it’s not an easy thing for many to digest.

Instead, Adam asks, “So, you stay close to your village to protect it?”

“No, we have to hunt almost daily to provide protein. We go out in large hunting parties but will leave a few men back for some modest protection.”

“And what do you hunt?” Adam asks, fascinated by the concept. Such a man.

“Tapir, wild pigs, and alligator. That’s some of the bigger prey, but we also hunt monkey and snakes. Although we fish as well, and that’s actually something the women help us do.”

I didn’t know that and I perk up in interest at this concept—that the women would actually be counted on to help in the providing of the food. I mean, they tend the crops but the men do that as well.

“So you all go out with fishing poles and have a day at the river or something?” I ask Zach.

“No, far more interesting than that. The women make up palm-frond baskets, and we fill it with a plant that has a toxin in it. We then find small pools and submerge the baskets in the water. The toxin temporarily stuns the fish but doesn’t cause permanent damage or poison them. When they float to the top, we shoot them with small bows and arrows. It’s actually one of the ways the boys in the tribe learn how to use their own bows. It’s more of a tribal bonding experience when we do that.”

My heart sighs at the same time it sinks. I can’t mistake the fondness in Zach’s words, and I even recognize longing within them. He comes from a society that has mastered the idea of community living. It’s something that we have long lost in this country.

“This is all so fascinating,” Adam says with a smile. “I’d totally starve to death if I were lost in the Amazon.”

“Just like I’d probably starve to death here,” Zach says, and my head jerks toward his when I hear a slight hint of bitterness.

His eyes come to mine, and I see something in there I’ve never seen before. Uncertainty, fear, and low self-esteem.

“No way, dude,” Adam says with a laugh. “There’s a grocery store on every corner.”

Such a simple answer for a terribly complex problem.

Sure… there’s food everywhere, but what Zach means is that he truly has no way to earn it. He has no transferrable skills, no education, and no work experience. He’s virtually unemployable except for maybe manual labor and, even then, you have to have skills or experience.

Is that why Zach wants to return to Caraica? Because there at least he’s needed? He’s important and he can survive? Whereas here… it would be such a struggle to catch up to this society that left him behind so long ago?

I know, without a doubt, that Randall would gladly have Zach stay with him and would provide for every comfort he could ever wish for. I also know Zach will never… ever accept something like that. He’d rather be homeless and starving before he accepted that type of lifestyle. He has too much pride to ever submit to that.

But on the flip side, I know Randall would never let Zach just take his charity. Randall has all but made a formal offer of employment at Cannon’s if Zach were interested in that. I’m betting Randall would also want Zach to complete his education and would help him obtain that.

Interesting things to consider, and maybe I need to broach this more with Zach. Maybe if he saw a way to survive and flourish here, he wouldn’t want to go back.

Maybe he’d want to stay here with me and build a life.

Probably more wishful thinking on my part, but a wish is better than nothing and, right now, I have nothing to entice him to stay.